Laguna RXE - My new French shite.

[R9UKE]

Well I've been toying with the idea of getting a tow bar stuck on either the Mégane or Avantime, it's a bit of a pain having to tow the odd thing using the towing eye. But I was at an auction the other day, and there was a tow bar with some french shite already attached! Perfect opportunity to expand my collection. And for the princely sum of £200, it's what I would have paid for a tow bar alone.

 

She's a Mark 1 Phase 1 Renault Laguna 2.0 RXE which, according to the tax discs and logbook, lived in Guernsey until 2009 and has somehow ended up here in Belfast. One owner from new, 70000 miles and two months MOT (only done 1800 miles since the last one)

 

The interior is awash with blue plastic, blue cloth and blue carpets, giving it a truely authentic 90s french feel. As a result, when the sun hits the dashboard, you get an overwhelming feeling of nausea followed by temporary loss of sight.

 

Rear quarter panel could do with a touch up:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This sought after badge plays host to a variety of exciting electrical gadgets, most of which still work:

 

 

Automatic Climate Control:

 

 

Digital mileage display with trip computer, displaying a range of useless information, including the time spent driving.... wtf!?

 

 

Original Laguna mats:

 

 

And of course, my favourite, the voice synthesizer:

 

 

Being a fine 90s french automobile, I'm already on first name terms with the guy behind the dash as he speaks so often. One of the bonnet catches is broken, so ever speed bump is met with "Bonnet - not closed". Today while I was entering the radio code to the original Blaupunkt cassette player he told me that there was a battery charging fault and that I should check it out as soon as possible. The battery is fine. The car also has one of the excellent early IR Remote locking systems, where one has to point the key at the roof receiver and press several times before any action. If you don't start the car within about 30 seconds, the immobiliser kicks back in and while trying to start the man shouts "WARNING - engine immobiliser is set, you cannot start the car. Refer to handbook". A quick plip of the remote, lock then unlock, and the 2.0 Petrol engine roars in to life!

 

Seriously though, I'm well pleased with the thing. It drives like a new car, the seats put those in the Vel Satis to shame, and all the electrical tomfoolery just adds to the laugh of owning a 16 year old french car. It'll be the workhorse of the family, and is fitting in well!

[dollywobbler]

Nice. I still reckon the Mk1 Laguna is a fine looking machine indeed - though that voice thing would drive me nuts! I can't even have the sound on with a sat nav.

[trigger]

These Lagunas have the most comfortable seats in the world - FACT.

 

I actually quite like them, they drive nice, go well and have a big boot as well as those comfy seats, I drove a RXE many years ago with the talking dash and was well taken in by it.

[Shep Shepherd]

Nice car. Shame about the knock, though

[Cavcraft]

When you press the 'dis' button does it put on an American accent and say shit about yo mamma?

 

£200 seems a bit good to be fair, and I expect you could get the plate off and sell it to some chav called PJ who could stick them on his Toyota Previa 2.4 HGF. The first 7 could represent the age he started smoking, the 40 could be how many kids he has and the last 7 could represent it being seven years since he went from clamining 'ordinary' dole and climbing the social ladder to sickness benefits.

[stuboy]

nice crapper-shite

[Father Ted]

I loved our Mk1 (1.8 RT Sport)

Right up to the moment I drove it over a set of steel shopping trolley hoops in B&Q car park and ripped a new arsehole in its side

[Lord Sterling]

NIce car that. I've always had a small admiration for the mk1 Laguna, I (vaguely) remember when they were launched, pretty much of thier time. Nice to see you have the original mats, I like when a car has its original mats

 

Are those original Renault wheel trims or poundland specials?

 

I drove a later facelift Laguna and it seriously felt like it was about to fall apart.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Tres Bon Mon Ami.

 

I always thought the Mark 1 Le Gooner was a handsome Devil - much better than the shite that replaced it and for 200 sovs, a fine buy. That interior is utterly rank though! Is the dash that shiny in real life?

[ashmicro]

Looks grand for 200 bills. I'll get you a roof sign and you can do a bit of pirate taxiing here in Carrick. Slightly damaged Laguna 1s were a fave here for years. Did you get it at Wilsons?

[R9UKE]

£200 seems a bit good to be fair, and I expect you could get the plate off and sell it to some chav called PJ who could stick them on his Toyota Previa 2.4 HGF. The first 7 could represent the age he started smoking, the 40 could be how many kids he has and the last 7 could represent it being seven years since he went from clamining 'ordinary' dole and climbing the social ladder to sickness benefits.

 

 

Nice plan for when it inevitably bites the dust!

 

Cheers for the comments, and yes, the dash REALLY is that shiny. Previous owner must have splashed out on poundland dash wipes.

 

Yes, believe it or not, they are the standard trims! If anybody has a nicer Renner set, or a random one of these, please let me know!

 

Ashmicro, great plan, I'd be eternally grateful. And yes, Wilson's finest!

[MK5 Escort]

The original Laguna is a very pretty car. Always liked the shape of them. Wasn't that keen on the revised model where they ar*ed around with the rear lights. I did know some guy with a W plate who put the older smoked rear lights on it.

 

You can't beat a bit of velour for comfort...! I do love soft spongy seats and the French seemed to be the masters of these for many years. I actually find them rather attractive and 'homely' like an old sofa. Anyone remember the original Daewoo Matiz interior? Lovely...!

[Father Ted]

IIRC the only thing that ever went wrong with ours (apart from some clown ripping a hole in the side of it ) was the heater matrix sprang a leak. Fairly common the guy at the Renner garage told me at the time (that and the fuel tank straps rusting out)

I imagine they have all been replaced by now.

[25v6turbo]

The phase 1 Laguna is a cracking car,i still see loads around so it proves they are good,my wife has an S reg V6.

My dad has a bit of a strange one aswell,he has a phase 1 Laguna BUT its a V6 24V i,ve never seen another all 24v V6s have been phase 2(plastic headlamps,my wifes is a V6))its a real swop over car as it has phase 2 wheels etc,but its a phase 1 with a 24v engine.

[ProgRocker]

When you press the 'dis' button does it put on an American accent and say shit about yo mamma?

 

 

Aye, mark 1 Lagunas are verrry pretty. And those seats certainly look inviting. Parents had 2 Reno Scenics (phase 1 & 2 of the mark 1 shape) and they had the comfiest seats ever.

[R9UKE]

My dad has a bit of a strange one aswell,he has a phase 1 Laguna BUT its a V6 24V i,ve never seen another all 24v V6s have been phase 2(plastic headlamps,my wifes is a V6))its a real swop over car as it has phase 2 wheels etc,but its a phase 1 with a 24v engine.

 

A friend of mine has a phase 1 V6 24v! Lovely, lovely car. The auto gearbox is misbehaving at the mo but I've warned him that it deserves to be repaired. He also has a Phase 2 V6, and bought my Laguna II V6 off me the day I got the Avantime.

 

Will photograph the Phase 1 V6 next time I see it! It's a nice dark red colour, 1995 model.

 

Done a bit more driving this evening and yes, I can confirm that these are the comfiest seats I've ever sat in!

[25v6turbo]

Nice one,would like a pic of that phase 1 V6,my dads is Twilight blue,so is my wifes,both V6 Executives with full leather etc.

The engine/box are fantastic in these,whats his problem with the Autobox,is it banging on downchange,or getting confused what gear to be in..

Just plugged the wifes one in at work on CLIP and it was only show 68% throttle at full load a few adjustments and this got to 96% and a clear of memory gearbox clutch fault soon had it going again,its a quick car even as an auto,which i think i,am right in saying is actually a ZF box.

[R9UKE]

Yep you're right about it being a ZF box. It drives fine for a few hundred yards then loses all Drive. It then slips in and out of Drive making it impossible to take anywhere. His Phase 2 is also starting to make a whining noise from the gearbox so he's scared the same thing will happen to it. I've driven his Phase 2 and it is some car! It's an Executive in that Gold/Champagne colour.

 

That's excellent about your improved figures from hooking it up to CLIP. I better tell him.

 

You have an incredible load of cars around you, you need a 3.5 V6 Vel Satis now

[R9UKE]

Well being true to it's french roots the Laguna has failed already.

 

"Engine immobiliser is set, you cannot start the car, refer to handbook". Brilliant.

[25v6turbo]

Try getting out of the car locking it on the fob then unlocking and try to start it,don,t do it sitting in the car,if not you can over ride the immobiliser should unset itself,also this happens if you disconect the battery or its gone flat.

[R9UKE]

Tried the plipping of the remote outside the car. Also left battery disconnected for half an hour. Nothing. Have left it disconnected tonight and we'll see what happens. Do you know how to override it? If it doesn't start by the weekend there'll be one less Laguna on the roads