CHBS - it's genetic you know!

[scooters]

Walking my 4 year old boy to nursery this morning we walked past a tidy unbuggered with 80's Mini - a pretty basic model but I didn't make a note of the badge.

 

Anyway - the boy pipes up: "Daddy, when will Elizabeth be back from the fixers?"

 

Me: "...er......"

 

Boy "it's taking a very long time to fix her - do you think she will be back in time for Christmas?"

 

Me: "....er......well, I'm not sure...."

 

Boy: "will she be back after christmas? We'll need to paint her floor when she comes back for to keep the rust out"

 

Me: "...ah...."

 

you see - in May I sold my 1954 split moggy, "Elizabeth" ....I sold her to fund our family holiday and free up money to buy the camper van. the only problem was that the boy and i spent a lot of time fettling her- as a firm believer in Victorian Values like CHILD LABOUR there is much that can be achieved by a small boy armed with a brush and a tin of Hammerite - the plys points being his small hands are able to reach into box sections and that the hammerite goes on him and not on you! There is a down side in explaining the chemical rashes to his mother. Anyway, when we got rid of Elizabeth we told the boy that she was going to get mended - only the wee chap hasn't forgotten and EVERY time he sees an old car with round headlights he asks me the above questions!!! Never mind the fact that he has a wonderful campervan to play with or a 2 box swede shite in the Torslanda - no not enough for him, he wants elizabeth back!

 

Having talked to the wife we've decided when our short term poverty crisis is over we will get rid of the Torslanda and replace it with a sound Morris 1000, a 5 door pre tax one in Black which will hopefully shut him up and as runabouts go moggies are about as simple as you can get and very cheap to run to boot as whilst I would prefer an Austin Princess love of beige tin and velour insides is peculiar to a few of us!

 

anyway, this got me pondering - is the love of kit a genetic disorder - is CHBS (Compulsive Heap Buying Syndrome) somthing that we are born with? And you know what? I am coming to the conclusion that it is....

 

My condition is well recorded on this website and whilst to as severe as some (Mr Torsten) is still pretty bad...so it got me thinking about my relatives and ancestors and down the male line in my family, for the last 80 odd yeas CHBS has been a major issue...

 

My cousin Mark, a dentist in Aberdeen, is obsessed with souped up Jap Shite and spends an inordinate amount of his ill gotton gains on the latest turbo charger

My Uncle Ralph, retired in Drumnadrochit had a Morgan 3 wheeler as his first car and has driven sports cars all his life - he has a souped up 944 for years and when he 'downsized' to an MX% was so bored by the performance that he spent 20 grand souping it up and having custom suspension made to keep the excellent handling....I know....bonkers

My late Father - loved citroens but drove volvos - before we had 15 years of 240s he had a Citroen Ami 8 and then a DS Safari - we went all over Europe in the DS several times...when we left home... get this he traded in the last 240 for a 1.6lt Westfield Sei Widebody which was his MAIN car for 3 years - we live in Scotland FFS and he used this car 365 days a year in all weathers including snow - a common sight in edinburgh, he had a huge Roman nose and would charge about town in this rollerskate with a couple of West Highland terriers in the passenger seat and a leather flying helmet with no goggles - and this nose - he looked like a mad owl of some sort. One of my best menmories was when we went on a mad drive from Edinburgh to prague and back in 3 days taking in the Grossgluckner pass on the way home...wonderful fun. When my mother read the riot act in the mid 90's he traded in the Westie for a 1984 Panther Kallista - gorgeous in cream and royal blue...I am trying to find this car as after his death it was removed from my mothers house in late 2000 by a mechanic friend who we have subsequently lost touch with - when I last checked the car was off the road. I have no way of finding him and will probably have to engage a private eye - for the record he was called Ken Green and ran the Trophy Motor Garage in Edinburgh.

My grandfather was Estate factor of the Great Glen Cattle Ranch in Fort William was obsessed and always drove jags and big pre war packards - many photos of death defying rallys on highland roads and he was a regular competitor in the Rest and Be Thankful Hill climb frequently tackling the 2 day journey form the Highland to Edinburgh to watch his beloved Heart of Midlothian or a rugby international...

 

so you see - there is really no hope for me -....I should embrace my destiny!

 

oh dear....

 

but I MUST find that Panther

[autofive]

whats the reg number of the Kallista?

 

Panther club keep pretty good records

 

http://www.pantherclub.co.uk/

[messerschmitt owner]

I get the shite buying from my dad, who spent all his time in either Jags or big Citroens, but always had some old grot round the house too - must have been why I bought my first car at age 15 - it was an Isetta bubble car!

[Pete-M]

I'm pretty sure mine's inherited. My dad was in the motor trade and was forever finding obscure stuff to play with, particularly quirky and oddball stuff. Weird stuff I remember well includes a 1930's Rolls Royce fire engine, a multitude of oddball French stuff, Cadillacs, a very early split screen Minor, Bond Bugs, and loads more. I can't remember lots of it. He buried an old 1920s Austin under the garage at the house he grew up in. There were still a few bits left when the garage was pulled down in the 80s.

 

My grandad on my mums side was into shite old motorbikes. He also liked to bury scrappers. There's a tree in my nans back garden that marks the final resting place of one.

 

My brother doesn't seem too badly affected, having resisted the urge to buy old shitters. Then again, he owns an Espace and last time I looked in his garage there was a very early and very mint Herald there. He denied ownership. His son, however, definately has the car bug but he's only five so hasn't bought anything yet.

[jnoiles]

he traded in the last 240 for a 1.6lt Westfield Sei Widebody which was his MAIN car for 3 years - we live in Scotland FFS and he used this car 365 days a year in all weathers including snow - a common sight in edinburgh, he had a huge Roman nose and would charge about town in this rollerskate with a couple of West Highland terriers in the passenger seat and a leather flying helmet with no goggles - and this nose - he looked like a mad owl of some sort.

 

That is most moving and beautiful thing I've read all year.

[barrett]

Great thread and an interesting point.

 

Personally it isn't genetic, but it was definitely predetermined. My first word was 'mini', and I could recognise different types of car before I could recognise people, I learnt to read early because my mum was fed up reading me Classic Cars magazine as a bedtime story every night. From before I could even talk the ONLY thing I was interested in was cars, and it stayed that way until I first discovered rock music in my late preteens. Funny that such an obscure interest can blossom from nothing, with no outside encouragement, and stay with you for the rest of your life.

 

No one in my small family has any interest in cars, although my Aunt and her husband had a succession of nasty shite over the years including an A35, loads of Citroens, Fiat 127 and an Ital that never started without a bump. No one is interested in music either, or films or books or anything I like. Maybe this is only -child syndrome, fiercely independent and determined to tread your own path. I don't think I'll ever figure out why I like rubbish old motors so much, but it's certainly interesting to wonder

[scooters]

he traded in the last 240 for a 1.6lt Westfield Sei Widebody which was his MAIN car for 3 years - we live in Scotland FFS and he used this car 365 days a year in all weathers including snow - a common sight in edinburgh, he had a huge Roman nose and would charge about town in this rollerskate with a couple of West Highland terriers in the passenger seat and a leather flying helmet with no goggles - and this nose - he looked like a mad owl of some sort.

 

That is most moving and beautiful thing I've read all year.

 

 

lol- we do miss him, he's been in the ground for ten years now - he would love autoshite and all things related.

 

my 2011 resolution is to locate that Panther - hopefully it is still where we left it - if not then in good hands

 

I need my mum to dig out the reg documents for the number plate

 

r

[The Moog]

My father was well into cars, him and my uncle used to build fast minis and other things. He then had company cars but had tat on the side. Everything from ex plod Cavs to Saabs. His last car before he died was a 9000 auto that I bought for £100 for a banger rally but was too good for that. He loved that car, although drove it at 20mph everywhere.

 

Uncle had a Firenza that according to him was super fast, until one day the petrol leak got worse and it went up in flames. He got all misty eyed over the gf's ashtray and loves Cavs. He can drive everywhere at 50 mph in any mk3 cav!

 

Genetic - I think so .. .

[Albert Ross]

Genetic and by exposure.

My Dad had a succession of wonderful cars. Alfa 2600 Sprint, ADO 16, Rover P5B, Volvo P1800, Karmann Ghia, Mk2 Cortina, Morris 1000 splittie in black!, A couple of Mk1 Senators, Volvo 240, MK2 Granada in Beige! etc. You get the picture.

His Dad was a Rootes freak. Humber Sceptres, Singer vogues, even a Pullman....!

My Maternal Grandfather was a belter. Volvo 122 in Cyprus, in UK 1967 Beetle, 1977 Datsun 180B!, 1987 Volvo 340 Redline....! Kept his cars on average 10 years.....

 

I have always been around people with old shitters. I lose count of the cars that I have ridden in, removed bits from, bodged together, helped scrap, towed over the bridge etc... Great fun. I even met a bloke in Nottingham who had bought an ex- Royal Family Daimler to use as a mobile fruit and veg truck......

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

I wish I was well off enough to be a compulsive heap buyer, I see so much I'd like to buy but my sporadic work and weekly paycheck that gets spent rather too quickly puts those mad thoughts to sleep.

I bought a few cars compulsively when I was on a monthly wage mind you.

[scooters]

I wish I was well off enough to be a compulsive heap buyer, I see so much I'd like to buy but my sporadic work and weekly paycheck that gets spent rather too quickly puts those mad thoughts to sleep.

I bought a few cars compulsively when I was on a monthly wage mind you.

 

 

I can relate to that. My CHBS has come to an abrupt cold turkey when my last contract ended 3 months ago - no work around at all just now bill backed up everywhere and no spare pennies for anything...can't even justify a set of HT leads for the Sherpa just now - grim indeede

 

one thing though - when i get out of this situation I will be a bit more circumspect and avoid the red wine and ebay combo.....

 

Torsten and I were discussing the ideal 'stable' and I came down to 7 cars - not that this will ever happen but dreaming can't hurt:

 

1 pre war car

1 small french or british car

1 big french car

1 british sports car

1 british 70s car

1 luxobarge

1 campervan (ideally british)

1 daily driver

 

well. ok that is 8 cars but the daily could be one of the above eg an XM I guess

 

also a big french car could include the C6 (not that I could ever afford one)

 

nice to dream - doubt it will ever happen

[Albert Ross]

That list needs a caveat.

Always, always, ALWAYS have a Series Land Rover on the fleet. It can be used for towing, winter, summer (roof off) and for owt else really. Tip trips, B&Q etc. Everyone NEEDS a Series Land Rover. It's the law. Preferably tax free.

[CreepingJesus]

It's definitely genetic. My dad's enthusiasm for anything with wheels (or wings) and an engine is strong in me, and at least a couple of my kids. He owned some odd stuff, but he was more adept at getting employed to drive other people's shite - trade plating and taxi driving featured more than once on his CV.

[Pete-M]

The addiction thing is also perfectly applicable.

 

I think the snow has cocked up my planned 604 collection on Sunday. I'm getting withdrawal symptoms. Need Quattro. XJR no fun in snow.

[mattblack]

Genetic. My dad and his mate used to fix cars on the side, I can remember being taken out to the garage in my PJs to say goodnight to him when he was working on some old heap, although I remember one car they worked on was a Lotus Europa. His mate's dad had a big house with long drive (and a dead Rover P4) and they would do re-sprays there, in the open... I was about 15 when I got my first car, a 1969 MK2 Cortina estate. Cost £25 IIRC. Got scrapped, then I had a Vauxhall Ventora FD for £60 (scrapped), then a Citroen Dyane. First car I actualy had on the road was a MK1 Escort 1300 XL 2-door.

[Cavcraft]

Generic-ish but also a peverse love for shite since I can remember.

Dad had a few company cars, from memory in this order: early Maxi/Austin 3-litre (EFO 177H)/can't remember/Austin Maxi (OFO 9M)/Cortina Mk3 estate (ONB 920P? possibly ONB 903P)/Cortina Mk4 estate (PEM 120T)/Talbot Alpine (DHG 511W I think)/Cavalier Mk2 1.6 SR (VFV252Y I think).

 

I was also so sad I recall cutting out adverts for ADO16s and sticking them inside my school book covers, circa 1974. It seemed there were hundreds of them for sale which I found fascinating. By the age of about five or six I could name probably 95% of cars on the road and even then I knew I'd be a car enthusiast. I still love hearing random facts and learning about cars/bikes/scooters/trucks/vans and I have always, but always, had a soft spot for shit cars. Keep your Ferraris and Porsches, show me some 1970s family runabouts and I'm happy as Larry.

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

That list needs a caveat.

Always, always, ALWAYS have a Series Land Rover on the fleet. It can be used for towing, winter, summer (roof off) and for owt else really. Tip trips, B&Q etc. Everyone NEEDS a Series Land Rover. It's the law. Preferably tax free.

 

As long as I can fit coil springs and Nissan Patrol 6-pot diesel to it.