But they're wrong

[Guest]

I like this idea of parents who own modern BMWs because they're too poor to own shite, that's some logic right there.

 

Wish I'd continued to avoid this thread, ah well.

[scaryoldcortina]

Norm, that's not an image I need right now.

[catsinthewelder]

I apologise for starting this

 

Will this tat do to cheer people up? All spotted before I found this site...

A nice ratty Herald that turned up at work one night and never returned

I'm not usually into Mini's but this one just had a nice patina to it

I know its wrong but I can't help the WANT

 

Rich

[chaseracer]

 

Consider yourself forgiven. Mainly because of this /\/\ but also because you have a BX break in your avatar pic...

[M'coli]

Is that a D-reg? it could be one of the rare Group B type 504 pick-ups. When I find a photo of one of them, or of their Nissan competitors, then it's time for the "shite rally cars" thread!

[Pete-M]

I want that 504 pick up.

 

As for GpB shite, there was all sorts of oddball shite eligible for GpB wasn't there? I'd love a Peugeot 305 V6.

 

 

I like V engines. I may p/x my S6 XJR for a V8 one.

[Futuramic]

Piss-poor pointless article as many of these type are. However, it's refreshing to see a list of so called 'ugly cars' without an Allegro in sight.

 

I can't say I can argue much with the list - but I'd take that Volvo 240 off and put the Allegro on. You know, I rather hope that, once Top Gear have destroyed every Marina on the planet, they start on the All-Aggros too...

 

Yes, hopefully the only classic cars left in 10 years will be universally accepted ones like Morris Minors, tartan red MGBs, sports RWD Escorts etc.

Death to everything regularly featured in 'Britain's Top 94 Worst Ugly Cars That My Dad Drove'-type lists.

 

No, but the All-Aggro was such a hopeless car, a prime example of everything that was wrong with the British motor industry at the time. It quickly descended into bangerdom and will never rise to classic status. Of course, not all classics will be universally accepted... the SD1 is still laughed at, but it's a great bit of design.

 

Also, are you seriously suggesting that the Mk3/Mk4/Mk5 Escorts were good enough to warrant preservation? I've known enough of them and they haven't had a single redeeming feature. Not one.

 

I'm usually nice to people; and Autoshite is an easygoing place but you make me want to pour petrol all over your clothes and toss the still glowing end of a Silk Cut on top. And then laugh at the charred remnants. And then sweep them into a pile. And stick a home-made cardboard flag in the top that says "I got burned because I deserved it". Future generations will be aghast.

 

Like it or not the Allegro already is a classic. Many love them, for their foibles and the owners club is fairly populous. It wasn't a hopeless car; it was a cheap car that had a few things wrong with it. Much like the Kia Picanto - but no-one points at those and rails about noodle eating, slack jawed Eastern types. At least we had a motor industry - and more Allegros will be around in 20 years than modern stuff.

 

The SD1 looked good but was an appalling piece of design. It was an enormous retrograde step from the P6, the electrical system was satanic and there was only one good engine. The steering wheel was also square. It is a great car though; I would happily drive one.

 

Mk3 and Mk4 Escorts are the same, bar a grille change and the introduction of the SPFI CVH and catalytic convertors in lentillist countries. Mine was reliable, economical, fast and fun to drive. It looked good; was comfotable, pracitcal and easy to work on. It had everything I needed: auto choke, a winter destroying heater, radio casette, central locking and absolutely nothing I did not.

 

If you ever learn how to drive then perhaps you will learn that true pleasure is not gained from silly gadgets or impressing young boys (though what you do with your adult friends is no concern of mine). It is being the custodian of a vehicle that you like owning. From V8 Jags and Mercedes limos to Barkas vans and 120Y coupes Shite contains the whole gamut of vehicles; few of which would ever be described as having redeeming features by Clarkson et al.

 

I can drive, so I know the feeling, gained from the glance-over-the-shoulder in a quiet car park. The quiet thought "I own that". Which applies to any vehicle of any description.

[M'coli]

I want that 504 pick up.

 

As for GpB shite, there was all sorts of oddball shite eligible for GpB wasn't there? I'd love a Peugeot 305 V6.

 

 

I like V engines. I may p/x my S6 XJR for a V8 one.

I've not seen the 305V6 from that angle - it looks very 70s rally car rather than 80s, because the wheels and tyres are the wrong proportions.

The 305V6 and the Ford RS1700T are indeed shite rally cars, as neither of them were built in sufficient numbers to be elegible for Group B.

[Pete-M]

I know the feeling, gained from the glance-over-the-shoulder in a quiet car park. The quiet thought "I own that". Which applies to any vehicle of any description.

 

The SD1 gives me a huge blast of that feeling whenever I see it. The Jag makes me smile as it's a gorgeous looking thing, but the SD1 makes me kinda feel proud and mischevous and slightly silly.

[scaryoldcortina]

I'm going out on a limb here, but I'd guess that "lentillist" was a pun, based around both left-wing extremism and militant vegitarian/enviromentalists, particularly given the context of CVH engines and catylists. That's how I took it, anyway.

[catsinthewelder]

Its all very well muttering about old cars being crap but once you've experienced a few and learnt to love their foibles you may learn why we love them. The little Daihatsu pick-up behind the Herald is my company vehicle and an old design despite its 02 plate, now on a racetrack or wide open roads it would obviously come last but I'll bet you that its more fun round the narrow streets we use it on than your dads BMW is.

 

I ran a modern for a couple of years after passing my test as I was given it and it would have been rude not to. I'm quite glad its now expired and the string of freebie cars is now at the BX in my Avatar. I came home from work tonight on the push-bike (don't do gyms) . The BX has had a couple of days rest and was sitting on the drive with the suspension right down (takes a couple of days) and I just looked at it and smiled at its strange coolness, I wouldn't swap it for a newish BMW, why would I want to look like I gave a shit

 

I can quite confidently state that the worst car I've had the misfortune to drive any distance was the newest, a 2008 Vectra that was supplied to me as a courtesy car. It was fast and comfortable, had loads of toys but never felt stable in fast corners, which considering that I'm happy to throw my 1974 VW camper, the aforesaid HiJet and here's the killer, a couple of battered Hightop LDV 400 minibus's round the local roads at similar speeds is a fairly strong statement

 

 

Plate on the 504 is D674BHP, I'd just assumed that it was a homespun raising job by the local young farmers

 

With bonus MZ125 bikeshite

[Futuramic]

Futuramic, you're too accomplished a writer to have written "lentillist countries" if you had meant "leninist countries". So I did a look about, and all I can come up with for "lentillist" is a sub-school of French Impressionist Painting. To wit:

 

 

I doubt you meant any such reference as this. Could you elucidate? I'd like to get your meaning, and perhaps use that wonderful word myself one day in the sense in which you intended!

 

 

"Lentillist" is a British word from the late 1970s or early 80s. It's not really a word at all, more of a derogatory slang term. It was born from the conservative skewering of right-on culture back then. You know the types; communal living, denim wearing public social workers.

 

They wore sandals and lived in communes and grew their own produce. They stayed up late listening to reel to reel recordings of William Burroughs, smoked spliffs and read Sartre. They loved the environment, hated apartheid and stood for everything no-one could conclusively argue against.

 

"Child labour is wrong" - it is.

 

"War is bad" - Yup

 

"Womens' rights" - that too

 

"Gays are people" - no shit Sherlock.

 

Thus the easy leftism was satirised by the right; who railed against one legged black lesbians and the like. Much was born from organisations such as the Leeds Revolutionary Feminist Group - a lesbian commune who abandoned menfolk entirely and lived a self sufficient existence in slum tenemants. They were ground breaking, but far too pious for their own good. Male cats were not allowed in there. I think even boy spiders and woodlice were stamped on as enthusiastically as a Starship Trooper might.

 

This poe-faced seriousness was lampooned; or else the trappings of it the clothes, sandals and food especially. Most were vegitarians so favoured pulses over a good porterhouse. Thus lentillists were born.

 

This refers back to the CVH, as I took the piss out of the emissions-strangled eco-version that punted a few Swiss bankers around.

[HillmanImp]

I might have missed the boat with this but I aspire to buy a golf so I can pull lots of hot chicks....

 

 

To be fair to eccentric Richard he is still being very polite. When I was his age of someone had been giving me grief like some people have I would have probably tracked them down and stabbed them. *

 

Whilst I cant even pretend to understand what all the technical gubbins are about I have found this thread quite amusing.

 

 

 

*Not suggesting this occurs in any way

[eddyramrod]

She's wasted, I wonder if I can Photoshop her onto the bonnet of my Granada?

[HillmanImp]

Hell, I was taking the piss but each to their own.

 

My mate Dave kept pulling birds like that so i bought him a bargepole for his birthday last year.

[Justin Case]

I prefer Mr Blitz's version I like the image of a CVH Escort piloted by an artist complete with beret and Gauloise, who uses dried vegetables as models