Selling Snotters

[UltraWomble]

Despite the utter arseache that this causes ( see Grumpy thread for examples) at some point you will want to sell rather than bridge a cheap car.

So share your tips for a pain* free sale.

First one is the chuckaway PAYG SIM. Saves aggro later. However you may want to put some credit on a SIM so you cant text or phone back people who appear to be not a total bunglecunt.
Something I have recently learned is that Giff-Gaff ( runs on the Cellnet/O2 network) allow you to change the number twice binning off the old number.

So say you advertise car A and use 07700 123456 when the car is eventually sold rather than binning off your SIM with £3.90 of credit still on it, log onto your account online and press the change number button - a new random number is generated and the old number vanishes into the netherworld. You can do this twice. This means that you can advertise pile of shite C and Pile of shite B with the credit on your original SIM.
Handy.

Unfortunately as you have to have a payment method (paypal will do) registered its not quite so handy for phoning people up you dont like at 3am and shouting "TIME TO DIIIIIIIIIIE" down the phone at them.

I also put all paperwork into a cheapo file and make sure the car is nicely warmed up prior to a sale so that its warm and cosy for the potential buyer to sit in ( and not at all because its struggling to start and needing half a tin of EasyStart).

 

So what have you got?

[sierraman]

I normally say on the phone I’d like to start it from cold especially if it’s a diesel. Once went to view a Sierra 3 door and the owner had ‘just popped to the shops in it’. Not that it was a bastard to start from cold or anything...

[Matty]

Be honest in the advert. If some big fuck off skinhead travels all the way from Kent to view a car you've lied about, you can't complain much when he knocks your teeth out. That's my top tip kids☺️

[DodgyBastard]

Just do what the majority of people on here do with unwanted shit that struggles to sell anywhere else. Roffle it. Then when it's a complete bucket of shit and breaks down on the way home everyone will say ah well it was only a tenner...

[dieselassist]

...don't be taking any pics of the vehicular outhouse you plan on flogging off to the gullible, outside your own residence; if its at all mobile and 'legal' shug it round to some stately masion, local dogging spot or Mormon church; anywhere bar outside your own gaff... future ill'fortune will be fall the lazy in this regard...

...similiarly, try to meet perspective buyer mug's at the local petrol station "you'll never find my house, its not on google maps as its near a military testing ground... etc" work well

[robinmasters]

1 hour ago, UltraWomble said:

Something I have recently learned is that Giff-Gaff ( runs on the Cellnet/O2 network) allow you to change the number twice binning off the old number.

So say you advertise car A and use 07700 123456 when the car is eventually sold rather than binning off your SIM with £3.90 of credit still on it, log onto your account online and press the change number button - a new random number is generated and the old number vanishes into the netherworld. You can do this twice. This means that you can advertise pile of shite C and Pile of shite B with the credit on your original SIM.
Handy.

This could have reduced the number of PAYG phones in Cavcraft's local canal by 2/3rds. 

[DodgyBastard]

Top tip: Fill the tank before the prospective buyer arrives then hopefully they get as far away as possible before discovering how much of a shitheap it is.

[beko1987]

The scrapyard never complains about anything when selling a car to them... 

[DodgyBastard]

25 minutes ago, beko1987 said:

The scrapyard never complains about anything when selling a car to them... 

 

You would think so but...

 I scrapped a Punto which I had driven there with a fucked starter motor, battery and oil pishing from the sump, I went inside to hand in the keys and v5 and they just handed over the money, I think it was around £160 at the time.

When they went out to get the car they were less than impressed.

   

  

  

 

The next time I went in, they just looked at us and said: Not you cunts again...

[Matty]

Brilliant cos:

a) I had one that exact colour (bog door green I'm informed).

b) they would've definatly have thought they'd get some saleable panels etc off it. How wrong they were....

[sutty2006]

Take no bullshit from potential buyers. Even though you’re desperate to sell, and they’re desperate for food “apparently “ when they try every trick in the book to get the price rock bottom, hold your ground. Tell them they’re the ones that have wasted fuel and time arguing over 25 quid. Leave the German shepherd outside behind the gates barking like no other, and if need be, bark yourself. When they realise you’re not quite all there, they’ll cough up and fuck off quicker than a jehovah. 

[anonymous user]

Don't even bother trying to sell, just leave it at your brother's place and then when you die it becomes his problem 

[sierraman]

I wonder if Douglas Bader used to ring up cheap cars in the Autotrader and tell them he’d no fucking legs and so he’d only value your B reg Astra at £39.10. 

[strangeangel]

Be brutally honest about detailing the heap's myriad faults in the advert, and price it accordingly. Then place the advert on here.

 

Always works for me!

[chaseracer]

On 5/4/2019 at 6:35 PM, sierraman said:

I wonder if Douglas Bader used to ring up cheap cars in the Autotrader and tell them he’d no fucking legs and so he’d only value your B reg Astra at £39.10. 

Nope, 'cause he'd been dead two years when the car was registered... ?

[Jamie]

On 5/4/2019 at 4:50 PM, sutty2006 said:

Take no bullshit from potential buyers. Even though you’re desperate to sell, and they’re desperate for food “apparently “ when they try every trick in the book to get the price rock bottom, hold your ground. Tell them they’re the ones that have wasted fuel and time arguing over 25 quid. Leave the German shepherd outside behind the gates barking like no other, and if need be, bark yourself. When they realise you’re not quite all there, they’ll cough up and fuck off quicker than a jehovah. 

That propper tickled me hahaha 

 

I always seem to sell to colleagues or friends to make sure I get the most possible anguish and constant texts /phonecalls about said snotters so I can feel even worse about selling them