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eBay tat volume 3.

Ross_K

By Ross_K
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skattrd Rank: Lancia Gamma

skattrd

Posted
Posted

 

According to the seller the MOT has just expired on this, but it's been unused for 6 months. This behaviour irritates me, why not put it up for sale whilst it still had some MOT?  If it still had a bit of MOT left it would be more saleable and people 300 miles away may even consider purchasing it as they could safely* drive it home.

Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

This car looks like a little dog squinting it's eyes as it curls one off on the end of your neighbour's drive and you pretend not to have noticed

 

$_12.JPG

 

And the back looks like  it has a portable commode for when you get caught short in Specsaver's car park.

 

$_12.JPG

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Fiat-Punto-Active-Sport-03-Modified-/201002343481?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item2eccac5c39

 

'it's done 90263 miles, but runs as if it's practically new as its had a fair few bits done to it:

it's had a Ghost Body kit installed, as well as a 4 inch titanium Sportex performance exhaust system fitted which makes the car really roar and stand out!

It has also been completely de-badged.
It's had an oil change, respray in rough places to put it back to it's previous higher quality.'
 
Brilliant, I'd imagine the bodykit alone is responsible for about 45,000 off that mileage and the badge an exhaust 22,000 miles each. Allow a few hundred for the oil change and partial respray and the engine and box must be like brand new :roll: 
Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

BEAM ME UP, CABBY

 

$_12.JPG

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1986-VAUXHALL-CAVALIER-1-8-CABRIO-GREY-/261351954995?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item3cd9ca5a33

 

£300 BIN!

 

It's in Falkirk so I expect Leonardo de Lacquer Cubicle will be right on this already. It can't be far away from him as Scotland is just a small fishing village and it's not their oil anyway.

Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

This look exactly the view from my bedsit bathroom window in 1985. I was also weighing up some bit of skirt at the same time.

 

$_84.JPG

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/MORRIS-LD-FLAT-BED-TRUCK-1444KG-U-L-1956-GOOD-CONDITION-BUT-NON-RUNNER-/301041221469?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item4617747f5d

 

'WAS A LOCAL DELIVERY TRUCK FOR "SMITH &CO." SOFT DRINKS'

 

And in an even more coincidental coincidence I was also enjoying a hand shandy at the time. How strange!

  • Paul Dupart and brickwall
  • Like 2
wackywacerwill Rank: Citroen Ami

wackywacerwill

Posted
Posted

Is it wrong to like this?

 

 

Yes. If you buy it, someone local needs to come and kick your rear tints in and slap you about the boat with the spoiler.

Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

Hands up who wants to get married in an upturned Ikea wardrobe?

 

$_12.JPG

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Imperial-Jackal-Stunning-Rare-Hot-Rod-Classic-Daily-or-Wedding-Hire-/281225170866?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item417a538fb2

 

Imperial Jackal? Looks more like a Metric Jackass.

 

'Very rare opportunity to purchase 1 of 35 ever made - Production has stopped so this is a great investment. I have only tracked 1 down in this condition'

 

That'll be because nobody else could be arsed finishing theirs after they'd done 72 laps of Row H, Aisle 92 looking for the woodscrews and dangerous electrical connections.

 

'Daily or wedding hire'

For who? Jeanette Krankie's pygmy daughter's new born baby mouse?

  • himoverthere and Junkman
  • Like 2
Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

You don't even have to look to know what make of vehicle is, do you?

 

$_12.JPG

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/volkswagen-caddy-mk1-pick-up-/121233822102?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item1c3a195196

 

'oemodified rat rod'

 

 

OE?

 

 

Acronym Finder: Definition of OE. What does OE stand for?

Observatório Eleitoral (Portuguese: Electoral Observatory; Mozambique).
Occupational Entrance

 

I think I'd rather take those wheel arches up the Occupational Entrance than be seen out in that. It's one for the bargains thread really as he wants £3,000 for it which is bad enough on it's own, but made several millions time worse by the fact the engine is fucked.

smellmycheese Rank: Austin Maxi

smellmycheese

Posted
Posted

 

Is it wrong to like this?

 

$(KGrHqFHJCEFJK6WnQy,BSV6smG(1Q~~60_12.J

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1993-JAGUAR-TWR-XJR-4-0-SPARES-OR-REPAIR-PROJECT-may-break-if-enough-intrest-/231114154545?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item35cf7a2231

 

The number plate seems to have melted in the sun, but that is one fit looking car.

YES ITS WRONG AS THEY'RE COMPLETELY SHITE, XJ40'S DO NOTHING BUT FUCK UP AND HURT YOUR POCKET. PLUS THAT SPOILER WILL MAKE YOU LOOK AN INSTANT TWAT. DONT DO IT
Junkman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Junkman

Posted
Posted

According to the seller the MOT has just expired on this, but it's been unused for 6 months. This behaviour irritates me, why not put it up for sale whilst it still had some MOT?  If it still had a bit of MOT left it would be more saleable and people 300 miles away may even consider purchasing it as they could safely* drive it home.

 

I have long since given up on even trying to understand what people are up to. It's just too disturbing.

I'm a strict opponent of Social Darwinism, but my position is challenged every day.

 

Look at this prime example of an amyelencephalus, whose parents would have been well advised to use condoms:

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/231113793625

$_12.JPG

 

 

CAR WAS IMPORTED FROM THE STATES IN 1994, AT THE TIME THE CAR WAS UP AND RUNNING

Can you tell me one single reason why a car, that was a rare and coveted collectors' item even back in 1994, ever deviated from that condition?

 

 

ALL GLASS WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE PASSENGER DOOR WHICH I ACCIDENTALLY BROKE THIS WEEKEND

Someone with two braincells (three a pig needs to be able to shit) and three fingers on each hand shouldn't touch anything car related.

 

 

UNFORTUNATELY DUE TO THE CAR BEING STOOD, THE INTERIOR PANELS AND SEATS HAVE SINCE BEEN MISPLACED BY THE PREVIOUS OWNER

I suspected it is simply impossible that no matter how retarded, one total wankstain alone just couldn't muster this much fuck-uppage.

 

 

I HAVE OTHER CLASSIC AMERICAN VEHICLES AS WELL

Oh please no! Is there really no God?

 

 

I AM A PROFESSIONAL FABRICATOR AND CAN FINISH THIS CAR FOR YOU

 

I just wouldn't know whom else I'd rather entrust this kind of work.

 

 

Then we arrive at the QA section:

 

 

Thanks for getting in touch. I am listing this for the owner Richard (Woody). Unfortunately he is without the internet at the moment.

 

And without electricity? And heat? And running water? And an inside toilet? Or thankfully locked up in an asylum, where he certifiably should be?

 

 

 

I AM JUST OFF JUNCTIONS 25-26 M62 BRIGHOUSE AND CLECKHEATON

 

Run like f00k!

Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

Classic is my first love
And it will be my last
Classic of the future
When the gearbox's time has passed

To live without my Renault
Would be something I'll have to to do
In this world of troubles
As the AA pull me through

 

$T2eC16hHJGEFFm0llEdbBR))gjuOc!~~60_12.J

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/RENAULT-5-AUTOMATIC-CLASSIC-OF-THE-FUTURE-/161172395999?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item25869f97df

 

I do like that but it's a bit like having a danger wank in your wife's nan's nursing home. At some point it's going to go horribly wrong and the recovery process will be long, painful and expensive. Just like your divorce.

smellmycheese Rank: Austin Maxi

smellmycheese

Posted
Posted

You don't even have to look to know what make of vehicle is, do you?

 

$_12.JPG

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/volkswagen-caddy-mk1-pick-up-/121233822102?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item1c3a195196

 

'oemodified rat rod'

 

 

OE?

 

 

Acronym Finder: Definition of OE. What does OE stand for?

 

 

Observatório Eleitoral (Portuguese: Electoral Observatory; Mozambique).

 

Occupational Entrance

 

I think I'd rather take those wheel arches up the Occupational Entrance than be seen out in that. It's one for the bargains thread really as he wants £3,000 for it which is bad enough on it's own, but made several millions time worse by the fact the engine is fucked.

HAVE TO AGREE WITH YOU, WHAT A DREAMER, £3000 FOR THAT MISERABLE LUMP OF DOGSHIT, AND THE MOTOR'S GOOSED!!! EVEN IF IT HAD TWO VR6'S IN IT I'D RATHER CHEW A TEENAGER'S WANK SOCK THAN BE SEEN IN IT. THE VEEDUB CROWD ARE A STRANGE LOT.
smellmycheese Rank: Austin Maxi

smellmycheese

Posted
Posted

“INTERIOR MISPLACED“....GOTTA BE QUOTE OF THE WEEK THAT

I have long since given up on even trying to understand what people are up to. It's just too disturbing.

I'm a strict opponent of Social Darwinism, but my position is challenged every day.

 

Look at this prime example of an amyelencephalus, whose parents would have been well advised to use condoms:

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/231113793625

$_12.JPG

 

Can you tell me one single reason why a car, that was a rare and coveted collectors' item even back in 1994, ever deviated from that condition?

 

Someone with two braincells (three a pig needs to be able to shit) and three fingers on each hand shouldn't touch anything car related.

 

I suspected it is simply impossible that no matter how retarded, one total wankstain alone just couldn't muster this much fuck-uppage.

 

Oh please no! Is there really no God?

 

 

I just wouldn't know whom else I'd rather entrust this kind of work.

 

 

Then we arrive at the QA section:

 

 

And without electricity? And heat? And running water? And an inside toilet? Or thankfully locked up in an asylum, where he certifiably should be?

 

 

 

Run like f00k!

smellmycheese Rank: Austin Maxi

smellmycheese

Posted
Posted

Dear Smelly Cheese. Caps Lock. Fanks.

DEAR DOLL WOBBLE ITS “smellMYcheese“
Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

Rare 'Non-Knobhead' edition Caddy

 

$_84.JPG

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/mk-1-vw-caddy-/111236383498?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item19e634830a

 

See, that's how they should look, not a cut spring, Iron Cross sticker or pineapple in sight. It won't last though, I bet some highly original* beanie hat  wearing tit who calls his children Peacebucket and Runningwater buys it and gets the angle grinder out.

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