Shitting in the shallow end. *Arse friends Electric*

[Jim Bell]

So one last time down the road before the viruses reclaim the earth. 

 

Engage. 

[Jim Bell]

I'm going to try and interview a few real people on the way. To see how they are feeling about the end of the world. 

[loserone]

Don't talk to people on the tube! 

[Jim Bell]

The air is thick and wet this morning. Full of water that clings to everything and worries your lungs. It's a wet sweaty mess and just walking up a set of steps with a face covering on feels like waterboarding. 

This truly is the end of days. 

 

Station. 

[Jim Bell]

First person I've met today is Gladys. 

Morning Gladys. Is anything worrying you during the apocalypse?

 

 

 

[Dick Cheeseburger]

Gladys needs to get that dark patch under her left eye checked out.

As you were.

[Jim Bell]

Gladys:

 

" Well I've not been right in my back body since Ian came back from the war. When he got back he wanted to try different things and that's ruined me back there it has."

 

I see. And is anything else bothering you perticularly!

 

 

Gladys:

"Well I don't like The Secretary bird. It's very showy. Turns all the men's heads with its long slender legs and it's big round eyes. I think they should send them back."

 

 

 

Thanks Gladys. 

[Jim Bell]

There's not many folk around today. Interviews may be thin on the ground. 

 

[Jim Bell]

[Tickman]

What a way to brighten up a dull misty Monday morning

[Jim Bell]

Managed to get as far as fucking Durham. Lineside equipment fault at ferry hill. Will be sat here some time. 

 

Face covering makes my glasses steam up so I can't see anything. 

I feel like an Astronaut exploring the void. 

[Jim Bell]

I'll see if I can find someone to interview. 

[loserone]

*waves*

[Jim Bell]

This is Kenny. 

 

 

Kenny, is there anything that's bothering you perticularly at the moment, given the current climate?

[paulplom]

What a pisser in both respects

[Jim Bell]

 

 

Kenny:

"I'm having trouble sleeping. I worry all the time. I'm in a state of almost constant panic. Have you seen the fucking size of a Harpy Eagle? They can carry off small deer and human fucking children mate. How I meant to sleep soundly in my bed knowing that the next time I open the front door, one of these pricks might be stood there? They can crush a human head with their feet. There can't be a god can there? No compassionate god could create such a thing?!"

 

[Jim Bell]

Live public transport update: Moving again at walking speed. And not Olympics walking speed. My walking speed. 

[Jim Bell]

Toilets arnt as flash as I had expected on this Zuma. 

 

 

 

I'll take ALONE please. 

 

 

P.C. up one to one. 

[Jim Bell]

 

 

I know these new social distancing and social cleansing rules are unusual, but I'll do it because it's for the greater good. 

 

 

[Jim Bell]

Fucking Darlo achieved. Grim. 

[Jim Bell]

[Jim Bell]

This is Mandy. 

 

 

 

Is there anything you'd like to discuss Mandy?

 

[Crusty Sills]

5 minutes ago, Jim Bell said:

 

 

I know these new social distancing and social cleansing rules are unusual, but I'll do it because it's for the greater good. 

 

 

Brilliant, public transport graffiti at its finest!!! 

[Jim Bell]

Mandy. 

 

 

 

 

"Well it's a worrying time. I'm on furlough and the kids are off school so there's not been enough time to turn around, shit, or wind my watch since lockdown began. But one thing really is bothering me. What IS a King Vulture? I mean what is it? It looks like someone has pulled half the stuffing out of a Muppet then turned it inside out. I showed the kids a pic and now they have nightmares. The big one is pissing the bed, and they all have to share. "

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I mean, is that it's heart? Beating. Outside of its chest?

 

Who's going to protect us against a horde of these monsters if they come to take our statues?

[dome]

Ah, what better way to liven up a dull Monday morning than a Jim Bell collection thread  

3 randoms on the Inshite please!

[Jim Bell]

North Yorkshire spools by like video tape stuck on fast forward. 

 

 

[Jim Bell]

Life hack interlude. 

Please follow me for more tips and hacks. 

 

[Jim Bell]

South of York now. If he puts his shin down might yet hit my connection at Newark. 

Floor it please driver. 

[Jim Bell]

 

Henry Albert Flagstaff. 

What's concerning you Henry?

[Jim Bell]

Henry Albert Flagstaff. 

 

 

"I'll Ruddy tell you what's bothering me. I'll tell you now. It's this. I don't know what it is, but it gives me the fucking creeps"