Death Rattle

[Father Ted]

Went to Knowsley Safari Park yesterdsy - shoehorned the family in the Micra and went in that on the grounds that last time we went I had to leg it through the monkey enclosure because they were twatting the 18 mth old Zafira and I really wasnt happy about that - so this time I took a car I didnt really give a fook about.

We went round twice the kids enjoyed it so much.

Micra suffered a dent in the roof, loss of two wiper blades ( took spares with me) and one washer jet was badly chewed. It was also shit and pissed on a lot.

Being Scouse monkeys I was surprised they didt have a trolley jack and wheel brace and rob the wheels off the car as well....

 

Oddly the drive to Liverpool resuted in some sort of death rattle manifesting from the donkey. Cant for the life of me think what it is, almost like a big end knock - but its not there on acceleration, only at tickover. Who knows? still, gives me valid excuse to spend some money on another car. Rather liking that Bluebird, but think its a little big for what I need, plus i would get it crapped up in no time with trips to the tip and what not.

 

We met an ostrich or Emu (fuck knows which) that took a dislike to my viper stripes on the Micra and decided to headbutt it before turning its attention on me.

[mattblack]

Are the monkeys nicking the 'taaarrrrmac' and rakes off of the back of that Transit...?

[Guest]

Being Scouse monkeys I was surprised they didt have a trolley jack and wheel brace and rob the wheels off the car as well....

You nearly made me spit my morrning tea out

[Father Ted]

Are the monkeys nicking the 'taaarrrrmac' and rakes off of the back of that Transit...?

Yes, I believe so, I saw them go up to the bloke in the car behind me saying "tarmac yer drive mister"

[pogweasel]

Quals. I avoid 'safari parks' for that reason of theiving monkeys that masterbate casually in front of you (so a bit like scousers then).I did once make the mistake of taking my father's Skoda Favorit (quite new at the time) through Woburn Safari park, and the bastard simians ripped every bit of plastic/rubber off it, pater was NOT amused when I got home. Though the monkey disaster was countered by my comedy friend Russ nearly getting eaten by a lion, plus some hilarity involving beer, a stick, a grumpy ocelot and a children's petting zoo. Can't help you with your knock. Hope it doesn't become terminal in an inappropriate place. Like the outside lane of the M6 during a torrential downpour.

[daverapid]

What sort of Micra do you have?

[Father Ted]

One of these, and yes the oil / flter has been changed every 5k miles.

Weird realyy - knocks like hell when stood idling, when driven you cant hear anything amiss at all - doesnt sound typical timing chainy rattle 9 though I can ony comare with A series and kent engines).

[bigstraight6]

Being Scouse monkeys I was surprised they didt have a trolley jack and wheel brace and rob the wheels off the car as well....

You nearly made me spit my morrning tea out

Me too! The last time I drove through a Safari park was the West Midlands one around 1993 and the little bastard Brummie monkeys nicked the windscreen wiper blades and screen trim off my Renner 4....

[shite_meister]

You sure its not the timing chain? I used to work for Nissan and they used to rattle when they had stretched a bit and worn the chain guides, just a thought like.

[Father Ted]

Could be, I just dont know. Like I said, it doesnt sound like the timing chain rattle I know of A and Kent engines - but it may well be. I will have a crack at recording it and then post it up here for an opinion.

[Station]

Engine mount?

[FredTransit]

Monkey wedged in the engine bay?

[M'coli]

Could it be a loose spring in the clutch that doesn't get rattled around at higher RPM?

[Pete-M]

Went to Knowsley Safari Park yesterdsy

That's about 3 miles from me. Next time you're going to kill a car there, gimme a shout, I'll probably have some old tat you can buy to get home in

[nigel bickle]

Little end?oooh errr..

[trigger]

Mrs Trigger has been wanting to go to a safari park for years but i keep putting it of as i don't want my car damaged, But today our friends invited us to Woburn safari park, as they was driving in there old T reg Renault Scenic we agreed to go along.

Luckly the monkeys in Bedfordshire perfer a better class of shite to shit on like this Lexus and a Merc and BMW.

 

 

Although this one liked to wank on french crap.

 

[MrRegieRitmo]

[Station]

They don't openly masturbate do they?! This makes me hate monkeys even more than I already do, at least do it behind a tree you dirty bastards.My missus commented about going to Knowsley Safari Park in the future, I'm going to fit one of those foghorns.

[trigger]

They don't openly masturbate do they?! .

Trust me, The one on the Shitroen was , I might of been the smell of burning clutch plates from the long queue of cars that may of been turning him on.

[trigger]

Is dollywobbler really a little Monkey??...

[MrRegieRitmo]

No comment

[Mr B]

It'll be the chain, nice E280 auto sittin' here waitin' for you! GR8 4DRIFTIN

[Father Ted]

Jeez, you still got that!!! Hows the disco going?Am moving jobs soon from the pool to Garth nick - total miles a day goes down to about 16! I should probably cycle to try and shift some more lard.Will be throwing some thicker oil in the microid this weekend to see if it quietens it down, currently had 10/40, will be getting some 20/50....

[pogweasel]

Can I just enquire what a 'death rattle' sounds like?My van has started making a noise a bit like a tin box of spanners being lobbed down a stairwell. It's not very loud, like but you can still hear it alongside the van-grumble and turbo whistle. Though it -may- have been related to driving about 10 miles down a "4x4's only" type track today...

[Father Ted]

If I can find something that likes mobile phone 3GP video you can hear it, but it actually sounds more like a knocking, like the mad Nip pixies are twatting hell out of the firewall with a lead pipe - I can only hear it at tickover though, not under hard or soft acceleration, and not if Radio 7 is turned up above 28 on the dial.....

[M'coli]

If I can find something that likes mobile phone 3GP video

If you're thinking of a converter, Miksoft do one to convert 3GP to mpeg or wmv. Quicktime pro will do it too, but it's expensive...

[woolleyiain]

It could be the timing chain. Older Vectras do that too. The chains would jump or snap, but only ever at idle, it seemed...

[Alpineandy]

Those monkeys are getting quicker...

[Mr B]

Jeez, you still got that!!! Hows the disco going?Am moving jobs soon from the pool to Garth nick - total miles a day goes down to about 16! I should probably cycle to try and shift some more lard.Will be throwing some thicker oil in the microid this weekend to see if it quietens it down, currently had 10/40, will be getting some 20/50....

Yeah, still got it, it needs to go though. Still got the Disco too, it's just done a 3000 mile plus trip to Spain and back with only a worn track rod end to show