Egregious Lancia purchase from salty sea island and watery lakes. NOW WITH RUST PERVAGE and WEIRD ITALIAN VANS

[KruJoe]

[Bobthebeard]

Oh...

Got it now!

[Guest Breadvan72]

Captain! Shitebird decloaking!  We're dooo........ [Woop! Woop! Woop! EXPLODES]

 

OK , I will 'fess up.  Regular readers of the tales of misery and self harm that we call Autoshite may recall that back in 2014 or so I owned a truly appalling Lancia Beta Coupe. It was one of the very rare 1300 versions, and was terrifyingly rusty and broken in innumberable ways.  I sold it to a Forum member, whom I think sold it on to someone else.  It was perhaps saveable, but saving it would have been a mega job.

 

You might think that would have put me off, but my problem has been that I've owned Lancia Betas in every shape except Berlina (ie - Coupe, Spyder, and HPE), and with every engine except the 1600 (2000 NA, 2000 Volumex, 2000 ie, and 1300).  (Hang on, was there also an 1800?  I forget.  EDIT: yes, there was an 1800)  I have had the big wants for a 1600 Coupe for some time.

 

A few weeks ago I came close to buying a tat-thread-featured late model 2000 Coupe in red for about £3200. The seller turned out to be a very odd person who would not even tell me his name, or answer any questions about the car, and so even my not very exacting Stupidity threshold was exceeded, and I bailed.    Then the other day what is for me the dream Beta turned up on the tat thread - a 1600 Coupe, in bronze, with the mad pre-facelift interior.

 

Reader, I bought it.  Several excellent Forum dudes offered to go and look at the car for me, and I have also received generous offers of help with storage and transport, and a recommendation of a professional welder and fixer upper based in Kendal, where the car is.  It helped a great deal that Jazoli, who sent me a detailed report on the car, knows the seller, as that assisted in getting the car sold off eBay.  The price is not a bargain price, but it's not a daft one either, and the Beta is a car whose time may have come, price wise, as Clarkson fades from view, and people realise what an excellent design and enjoyable drive a Beta was and still can be. 

 

So, the car is mine as of last night, and now I need to arrange for what I hope will be about 1K of welding and other work to be done on it before I can collect the car.  With any luck, it might be ready in time for Shitefest.

 

There is a fair amount of rust in some places, but overall the car appears to be not too bad, and the seller comes across as a decent and straightforward person.  In this game you learn, sometimes a hard way, which ones are straight and which ones aren't.  Chatty sellers are almost always honest sellers.  

 

So, that's the blag!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, and not forgetting  ...

 

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Learning points:-

 

1)  Do not look at the eBay tat thread.

 

2)  If you do, treat it as an opportunity to laugh at the follies of others, not to do follies of your own.

 

3) Skizzer buys excellent high-end high-powered Lancias with full MoTs for less money. Breadvan buys dodgy mid-range low-powered Lancias with rust and no MoTs for more money.  Be like Skizzer.  Don't be like Breadvan.

 

4)  See point 1.

 

Jacking points:  none, all rotted away.

[Skizzer]

Swoon! That looks sooooooo good in metallic brown and with upholstery in Toxic Mustard.

 

Also, you may yet have the last laugh after we compare fixage bills.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Is bronze the new metallic beige?  I hope so.   Putrid jaundiced seat fabric has to be the Shiter option.

[The Moog]

Oh the back seats... Can you adopt me and let me sit in the back please mister?

 

I haven't looked at eBay that thread in months for this very reason.

[BorniteIdentity]

That interior

 

 

 

[the judge]

Splendiferous! Another solidish investment

[Guest Breadvan72]

Solvency stabilised by soluble shed shopping!

[carlo]

Looks bleedin' gorgeous from where I'm sitting.  I've always thought that Beta coupe shape a little bland, but looking at those pics it looks lovely, especially from the back.  Maybe that colour suits it very well too.

[M'coli]

Buggering bastrards - that was on my watch list!!! Well bought sir, I has Teh Envy.

[Sloth in a bowl]

You must have balls of Iron Oxide man.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Buggering bastrards - that was on my watch list!!! Well bought sir, I has Teh Envy.

 

You may have TEH RELIEF when I find out how bad it really is.  But, when it breaks down and falls to bits, I'll hire Il Professore to make you an offer that you can't take seriously.

 

Thanks again many millions of times to Jazoli for expert level tyre kicking, and also for photos (two of those above are stolen from the eBay ad, the other three are stolen from Jazoli's photobucket). 

 

I have made it clear, obvs, that if the car turns out to be a right old pile of toss, that is on me, not on anyone else. 

 

I am trying as we speak to sort out pre-MoT work on the car.   If the bloke recommended to me turns out to be as good as he is rumoured to be, he might even land my XJS gig in a few (many) months.  I had enough money to get the XJS done.  I say "had".  Then I bought a fucked Lancia. Oh well.  

[Guest Breadvan72]

Looks bleedin' gorgeous from where I'm sitting.  I've always thought that Beta coupe shape a little bland, but looking at those pics it looks lovely, especially from the back.  Maybe that colour suits it very well too.

 

 

The Beta Coupe can look very dull in some colours, and the later cars have boring interiors.  There is a 1600 Spyder with the early interior on eBay for non mad money at present, but it is white and looks dire, to my eyes, and has shiny red seats that also look dire, to my eyes.  I like pimpy cars, but that one is too pimpy for me.

 

The little blue 1300 was a rotter, but it looked good in a very dark blue colour (the paint and tape were structural members) with a hilarious dealer-fitted red and blue leather interior, reminiscent of porno lingerie (and not even good porno either).

[Momentary Lapse Of Reason]

A soluble car on Manx plates....

 

 

 

 

 

Total respect for rust purchasing skills!

[barefoot]

That is a serious bulkhead behind the back seats!

 

Well done Sir.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Manx, Manky, whatevs.  What do these words "Maritime Climate" mean, I wonder?  

[Guest Breadvan72]

That is a serious bulkhead behind the back seats!

 

Well done Sir.

 

 

Lancia specced even the lower end models very luxo. Rear pax get a seat each, and a light. Cromadora alloys standard on all but cheapest non saloon models, five speed gearboxes and all round disc brakes standard across entire model range.  Six gauges also standard except on 1300s, which only get five.  This car may need two new tyres, and it will of course be getting Pirellis.

[Momentary Lapse Of Reason]

No MoT test required on the Isle of Man + salt laden atmos = see thro cars

 

The reg would have been issued about 1983 - does that tie up with the age of the car?

[Louise2cv]

And it's an O reg.

 

I can't decide what's cooler.

[Guest Breadvan72]

I assume that DVLA will give it some random date-appropriate number plate when (if) it gets an MoT.  I will have to fill in a quick form and send a few quid, but the de-Manxing process seems very straightforward.   From a regulatory point of view, at any rate.  From a salty seaside point of view, maybe not so much. 

[Momentary Lapse Of Reason]

If it was a mainland registered car, re-registered on the Island and then re-re-registered on the mainland it may very well get its original mainland registration back.

 

Yamaha NVS303V became MAN1308 became NVS303V again

 

 

Lancia is rather nice tho

[inconsistant]

Wot a honey!

[djimbob]

Woof that is a lovely motah, well bought sir, commiserations to your wallet in the future

[Luxxo Waftybarger]

That baby poo (aka Nappy Camo) interior is incredible. Ace.

[beko1987]

The paintwork looks good on that!

[Guest Breadvan72]

Jazoli reports that paint and panel fit are good.  The rust is mainly around the sills and arches, which is hardly surprising  There will of course be areas of wob and welding from previous lives, but that is fine.

 

The car is not from 1983 - it's a 70s motah innit.  Hence the bonkers interior.  The very last Betas were sold in around 1983 or 1984 (sometimes after waiting around for a while after manufacture, because by then Lancia's reputation had been trashed - mostly unfairly- by the Daily Mirror, and the model was out of date when compared to its rivals), but the late ones had the boring and often grey interiors.  

[Momentary Lapse Of Reason]

So probably imported onto the Island around 1983, fair chance you should be able get the '70's mainland reg back...

 

 

 

Good Stuff!

[Guest Breadvan72]

1978 car, AFAIK.