Junkman chickens out despite SVM's sterling efforts - Caution: Terminally scary French chod content!

[dugong]

Have we forgotten an ingredient to make this all go terribly wrong?

I checked and it looks like we have them all.

 

No, you're buying a Citroen XM. It'll arrive with strange and sadistic ways of emptying your bank account. 

 

They're like fast Saabs. Even when you fawn over one like a small child and shower it with money it'll still go on strike whenever the fuck it feels like it. 

 

The only ones that appear to be reliable are the very basic Phase 2 diesels. Others are either cripplingly bodged or have enough 'oh that just needs fixing' type faults to make you lose the will to live. 

In summary I wouldn't trust one as far as I could throw it. Specialists vary between 'fucking miles away' and 'untidy'. 

[320touring]

The only potential issue will be getting it to my tame MOT man before they shut on Sat at 12;)

[dome]

I'm on point for this one tonight.

 

Talk to me about rust on these gentlemen?

[dugong]

Plus there is imminent danger of winning the 405 Roffle.

Do not get rid of the 405 for an XM. Please. 

[Junkman]

No, you're buying a Citroen XM. It'll arrive with strange and sadistic ways of emptying your bank account. 

 

They're like fast Saabs. Even when you fawn over one like a small child and shower it with money it'll still go on strike whenever the fuck it feels like it. 

 

The only ones that appear to be reliable are the very basic Phase 2 diesels. Others are either cripplingly bodged or have enough 'oh that just needs fixing' type faults to make you lose the will to live. 

In summary I wouldn't trust one as far as I could throw it. Specialists vary between 'fucking miles away' and 'untidy'. 

 

Intending to buy an XM sight unseen - check

XM is located in another country - check

XM hasn't been driven for years - check

XM doesn't have a current MoT - check

XM will be inspected by a third party - check

Drive home is in excess of 300 miles - check

Having a shonky XM plus a baderpez spec 405 means I'll own two cars that can only ever be unloaded onto an idiot of my magnitude - check

 

I think I'm doing everything right here.

[320touring]

I'm on point for this one tonight.

 

Talk to me about rust on these gentlemen?

Exhibit A

http://autoshite.com/topic/25744-1995-m-citroen-xm-vsx-turbo-estate-20-manual/?fromsearch=1

[Cleon-Fonte]

Whether it has terminal rot or not should be revealed during the first sighting, no?

 

No, this is a 80s/90s-era Citroen so the rampant rot will be hidden where few will ever see it. Good for slipping past the MoT tester, not so good at keeping the rear subframe attached.

 

On another note, Junkman in a hydro Citroen, built post-1986, with three pedals and cylinders not in multiples of four?

 

[Junkman]

You forgot that its furniture is also clad in unacceptable material.

But I should point out, that the pedal count is not as excessive as you describe it.

[dugong]

THINK OF THE CHILDREN (etc)

[dugong]

I have a diesel 605 for sale in cloth with a manual gearbox, will that not do? 

[Junkman]

No, this time I think of me!

If not rotten as a pear, this is going to be my WBoD, ffs.

The children will continue to be ferried in soft veloured almost pristine 405 estate luxury.

 

And no, diesel and manual are not acceptable. Neither of the two.

[dugong]

So how is a leather seated manual XM acceptable, then? 

[320touring]

So how is a leather seated manual XM acceptable, then?

Apparently the rear axle is a direct swap into an Izuzu Piazza..

[Junkman]

So how is a leather seated manual XM acceptable, then? 

 

Does the word "Automatic", which is mentioned fucking TWICE in the advert, not relate to the gearbox?

 

It's a V6 petrol automatic, for crying out loud!

I despair...

[Cleon-Fonte]

But I should point out, that the pedal count is not as excessive as you describe it.

 

Alas all XMs come with a foot pedal-operated parking brake that's released by a handle by the driver's door. An automatic XM is virtually mandatory just to ensure some kind of foot room amongst the profusion of pedals. All told a bloody stupid idea that ensures I'll never enjoy XM ownership.

[Junkman]

It's standard fitment to all old yanks, hence I'm used to it.

Even Mercedes, being known as the Gods of everything automotive, copied it for a while.

[Frogchod]

That fucking foot parking brake is bollox in a manual on a hill. No prob with an auto though

But it,mot it and drive it straight to France and swap your cow for my cloth.

While in France go to breakers and retro fit DIRAVI.

[dollywobbler]

One of the best things about no longer having an XM is no longer having that stupid, sorry excuse for a parking brake. If I have another XM, it'll be V6 auto or not at all.

 

Tricky car to inspect for rot, as most of the damage is underneath, and you don't roll under an un-propped hydro Cit without life insurance. Sills are a good clue, but it's the floors, subframes and mountings thereof that need a good prod.

[Junkman]

That fucking foot parking brake is bollox in a manual on a hill. No prob with an auto though

But it,mot it and drive it straight to France and swap your cow for my cloth.

While in France go to breakers and retro fit DIRAVI.

 

Swapping that dreadful interior for a nice one sure sounds terminally tempting.

I've heard they have wine over there, too, is that true?

The French breakers bit sounds dangerous, though, I'd sure soil the nice new fabric interior with more than just a DIRAVI, I'm afraid

and I'm fully aware of the equivocation of what I just wrote.

 

How far into that France are you located?

[chaseracer]

...you'll break it easily...

 

...then store the stuff for ten years and end up giving most of it away because nobody wants to exchange actual folding for it...

 

on>

 

[Junkman]

Are you also in the ranks of the ones who want to talk me out of it?

[Frogchod]

"Swapping that dreadful interior for a nice one sure sounds terminally tempting.

I've heard they have wine over there, too, is that true?

The French breakers bit sounds dangerous, though, I'd sure soil the nice new fabric interior with more than just a DIRAVI, I'm afraid

and I'm fully aware of the equivocation of what I just wrote.

 

How far into that France are you located?"

 

    I've heard that wine is available here. I don't drink the stuff so not sure.

Pastis and beer for me and as I'm in the Calvados region of Normandy, the odd glass of 60% apple juice.

Very rare to see an XM in the breakers though.

Never driven a DIRAVI equipped XM either, I hope they didn't engineer out the CX DIRAVI noise.

I'm fully aware that 95% reading this are thinking "what's DIRAVI and why does it make a noise"

[chaseracer]

Are you also in the ranks of the ones who want to talk me out of it?

 

No, to the contrary, in fact; but I would have had a shitload of spares for you up until a couple of weeks ago.

[Ghosty]

Well, it makes more sense than a manual, diesel BX...

[Junkman]

No, to the contrary, in fact; but I would have had a shitload of spares for you up until a couple of weeks ago.

 

Oh, that's good, I hope it'll break down a couple of weeks ago then.

[DSdriver]

I'm enjoying this thread immensely. XMs, like all big Cits need using regularly so expect it to be temperamental for the first thousand*

 

 

*pounds sterling that is

[dome]

Your Northern correspondent checking in.

 

First, a qualifier. I tend to buy cars on judgement and cursory glances. With varying success. The thought of using my hit and miss approach for someone else is quite daunting

 

I went to the location which was a scrapyard. They had rescued the car from a judge and felt that it was too good to scrap so they are trying to punt it on-this seems genuine. The yard was quite interesting and I wasn't at all eyeing up the E32 735iSE they are also trying to save.

 

In general it looked like it had been looked after in a previous life and then stored for a long time. 

 

It was sitting in the yard blocked in (apparently thieves will take anything not secured and they were about to close) so I couldn't do more than move it back and forth.

 

It fired up although the battery clamp is borked and sounded healthy. A little white smoke from it. Coolant seemed OK from the very brief glance. Oil (dipstick at the front of the bay) was fine and honey coloured. Under the oil cap was clean. 

 

It raised up to its normal height OK and when I set it on high it seemed fine. No sign of any leaks underneath. I only lowered it down after I switched it off and the front went down quite quickly but not the back. Still no leaks apart from water from the sill/doors with the car sitting at an angle. The photo of the LHM level was taken with it at full height.

 

The ABS light was on. The guys thought it might have been because it had been towed with the front wheels of the ground. Equally something expensive could be borked...

 

Rust wise-check the pics. Sills seemed OK if a bit crusty around the edges. I tried to take pics of the rear end. I couldn't see anything front end wise

 

My gut feeling? If I was really after one it would be an early diesel and not from a scrapyard then I'd be tempted to take a punt. It could be hiding horrors though.

 

If I was to try and get it MOTd several hundred miles from home however then that would be a different thing entirely...

 

It could be driveable on a short section of road outside the yard, also a viewing of the underneath is possible, however it would be by the medium of a fork lift. The yard guys had said it looks OK from underneath, I only have their word for that....

 

I'm happy to head back when I have more time-I need a nosy round a scrapyard anyway and it's only 20 minutes from my house.

 

Pictures are below and then I'll take questions from the floor...

[beko1987]

oooh those strut tops look a bit crusty... and their pretty unobtanium and take the bonnet out with them

 

the rear not sinking will be the rear height corrector, easily solved.

 

the rust and those strut tops though? you'd have to really want one/fancy a challenge...

 

I look forward to the shitely collection thread!

[320touring]

top report but never mind that- what news of the bmw?

[Junkman]

Hmmmm...

 

It's the strut tops that worry me too.

The rest looks actually quite okay.

 

How scary is that ABS light thing?