Car Dealer Magazine - Banger Challenge

[Mr Lobster]

Hey, now you can read the whole 'gripping' story - http://www.cardealermagazine.co.uk/publ ... ess-story/

Considering we’ve quite literally covered the length of Britain I think that’s even more amazing than the fact our Bangers made it.

[Guest]

Now we’ve just got to find some mugs, sorry I mean customers, to buy the cars. Might be a bit harder than we first imagined.

Don't know about that. As sub-£500 cars, they'll probably be the only thing they sell all week. Really they should have done the trip in £4000 Mondeos or something and left them on the pitch priced up.

[r.welfare]

Now, I know this was for charidee (BEN) and all that, but having followed the link and read the stories - what a bunch of strokers. Oh, the "hardship" of Best Western hotels every night! And the constant "amazement" that the cars kept going. Give me strength.

[Father Ted]

Now, have read the article, this thread and the links. And I come to the conclusions that these main dealer salesmen must be grown n vats in a darkened room and pre-programed with the mantra that anything over 3 years old is unreliable and that this unreliabilty gets exponentially greater the older the car is. Its the only logical explanation.Still, it was for charity so thats allright then.

[Guest]

The snobbery towards the Calibra in particular disgusts me, so it sprang a leak, at least someone amongst them had a modicum of mechanical nous and lobbed some radweld into it. Incidentally an L-plate Calibra would be the second most modern car I've ever owned :lol:Whats real comedy is that the guy is evidently completely over the moon about the massive 600 quid his Mondeo resold for! I bet with a proper decent valet it would've ebayed for a chunk more than that.

[Guest]

Still, it was for charity so thats allright then.

I get a bit wound up when utterly dreadful stuff is justified by it being for charity. If I want to donate to charity I'll stick some money in the tin, I don't want to see incredibly straight-laced people finding an excuse to suddenly lose their inhibitions - fat bints who usually stare at spreadsheets all day wearing crazy wigs and causing a hullabaloo, dullard middle-managers suddenly becoming infuriatingly zany because they're "doing their bit" by having their legs waxed, etc.

 

I dread the days of Comic Relief, Children In Need, etc. because it inevitably means I have to sit around whilst the people around me turn into giggling cretins, whilst I desperately try to keep my temper in check as my fuse grows shorter and shorter. One day I'm going to go mental I think. I truly despair.

 

Next week: Why I don't like babies.

[FredTransit]

Still, it was for charity so thats allright then.

I get a bit wound up when utterly dreadful stuff is justified by it being for charity.

 

Next week: Why I don't like babies.

OOO do I have to wait till next week?

[garethj]

Still, it was for charity so thats allright then.

Aye, if Hitler had invaded Poland "For spina biffida" he'd have got away with it

[Father Ted]

ahh, yes, my withering sarcasm doe not come over well on the keyboardwhat I should have put is .. So thats allright then [/sarcastic fat northern bastard mode]I too deeply hate comic relief et al.

[M'coli]

This year's theme - "Do something funny for money".Comic relief's been and gone, and I've still to find anything from the actual night to laugh at - am I being too hard to please?

[Mr Lobster]

I (rather skillfully I think) managed to avoid Comic Relief as the last thing I needed after a week at work is to watch a load of 'hilarity' which would in reality have been utter shit, interspersed with Lenny Henry showing pictures of the starving in Africa while being exerted to give generously by Davina McCall.FOAD the lot of you Actually, a sponsored celebrity deathathon might motivate me into a far more generous mood.

[pogweasel]

Actually, a sponsored celebrity deathathon might motivate me into a far more generous mood.

Isn't that what Jade Goody is doing? Except not for charity.

[Guest]

Actually, I reckon charity's gonna do quite well out of the long drawn out demise of Ms Goody, sadly its cancer thats finishing her off and not a proper bitchfight with a drugged-up Amy Winehouse.

[FredTransit]

Don't want to take this too far OT, but I have a lot of time for Jade Goody. if she can make something to leave for her boys, good luck to her. Who wouldn't in her position?

[Torsten2001]

My boy will be left with a who pile of random motoring shite, the jammy git!

[FredTransit]

My boy will be left with a who pile of random motoring shite, the jammy git!

Haven't got any kids! Do you think Beaulieu would be interested??

[andrew e]

Why are they moving Fred

[FredTransit]

Why are they moving Fred

Who? Beaulieu or me vans??

[Electric Leyland]

...but our £200 chariots made it. No, I can’t quite believe it either.

Will’s Volvo was solid as a rock and in absolutely A1 condition at the end of the trip.

We encountered two foot of snow in the Cairngorms, speed cameras on the M6 and then some torrential downpours in the south east.

AND LIVED

[Justin Case]

We encountered, speed cameras on the M6

And they think that's a challenge to man and machine I came up the M6 this afternoon and not only speed cameras but road works so bad that they had to narrow the lanes by nearly one whole foot and impose a 50 mph speed limit to prevent disaster on an almost biblical scale.

Goodness knows how those Southern softies would have coped with that

[Dukestar25]

Actually, I reckon charity's gonna do quite well out of the long drawn out demise of Ms Goody, sadly its cancer thats finishing her off and not a proper bitchfight with a drugged-up Amy Winehouse.

Now THAT would get me in the 'charity mood!!

[Guest]

Talking of "banger challenges", the Galant has been getting some fair use this week. Since Monday I've covered about 350 miles and later today I have to drive to Skegness in it to be around my sub-par family for yet another irritating weekend of mandatory Butlins scummery. However, this time I'm taking my motor so I can just drive around Lincolnshire on my own instead and enjoy the scenery (also cars in ditches).Back on Sunday though, so the total distance covered by the end of the week will probably be about 700 miles - that's absolutely loads for me! Good job I fitted some beaded seat covers (again) or my back would be killing me.

[Father Ted]

Im wondering if we (that is the half dozen of so blokes who post on a regular basis and Steve Berry) should have a shiteathon challenge coupled with a mini shitetacular motor show.

 

Load up the Autos Hite banner and meet up somewhere - and we can all recount our epic tales of how we got there (and back again) on the forum - or better still send them in to Tpo Gear magazine. I can get my top off and flash my moobs* and will drape myself over anyones car wearing only a skimpy pair of shorts for photo opportunities.

 

How does that sound?

 

 

 

*Moobs= man boobs

[Guest]

I can get my top off and flash my moobs* and will drape myself over anyones car wearing only a skimpy pair of shorts for photo opportunities.How does that sound?

Unpleasant.

[Station]

Next time I see it I'll take a photo of it.

 

It's a Carcraft advert on the back of a bus. It tells you to trade your old banger in for something new. It has a picture of a man pushing in a 'banger' and driving out a brand new car.

 

The banger?

 

 

The 'new' car:

 

 

It's fucking disgusting. It should read:

 

"Are you a greedy twat who desperately needs to keep up with your neighbours in some sort of futile 'I've got money me' competition - then trade 5 years of your life for something that's the same as your old car'.

 

DIE DIE DIE DIE

[Station]

Here's a preview of the magazine in it's fullest:

 

http://www.cardealermagazine.co.uk/magazine13/

 

[it's on page 24 to avoid all the predictably narrow minded dogshit]

 

It's full of smug twats who think the Focus RS is the best thing to have rolled out of the factory since the last thing Jeremerey Clarkson got all excited about.

[Station]

Another reason to hate the cunts who write in the magazine:http://www.cardealermagazine.co.uk/publ ... aler-blog/

And I think the longer they leave it the more damage it will do. Buyers don’t need anything else to put them off buying a car – especially not at the moment.

[Guest]

Me and Vicsmith had a good chuckle at a series of recent Carcraft ads where someone was pushing a Corsa C in (which had been dabbed with an oily rag and had a wheel trim and the fuel filler cap removed) with the replacement being a Citroen C3. They were all over the place - billboards, back of Autotrader, etc.Could they not find a scruffy part-ex or something? Not too clever implying that a Corsa C is an old banger when they make up a substantial part of your stock list.

[Guest]

Im wondering if we (that is the half dozen of so blokes who post on a regular basis and Steve Berry) should have a shiteathon challenge coupled with a mini shitetacular motor show.Load up the Autos Hite banner and meet up somewhere - and we can all recount our epic tales of how we got there (and back again) on the forum - or better still send them in to Tpo Gear magazine. I can get my top off and flash my moobs* and will drape myself over anyones car wearing only a skimpy pair of shorts for photo opportunities.How does that sound?*Moobs= man boobs

Brilliant idea - cars would have to be pre-1990 and cost below £200 (proof required) to ensure maximum shite-ness.

[trigger]

I had to laugh, I left a comment taking the mick out of the 'challenge' and told them to look here http://www.plymouth-dakar.co.uk/ to see how it's done properly, And now they have deleted the comment!