I hate selling cars

[andrew e]

My Dads Midget sells last night at just gone 20:00, email bloke, and he calls straight away. Turns up at 10:30 this morning with CASH, NO HAGGLING (!) and drives home to Nottingham. We live in Essex.

 

Whats the catch

[Pete-M]

We live in Essex.

 

Whats the catch

See above

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Whats the catch

Did you check the watermarks on the cash?

 

Glad you sold it (and to someone good by the sounds of it) - it looked so good in those photographs... much longer and I'd have been pricing up garage rental.

[Cavcraft]

Similar tales here. Spent most of yesterday morning pissing about all over the place getting tyres changed for some cock head who 'definately wanted my alloys'.Much later on he doesn't want them 'because they won't fit', I'm a few quid in bribes to tyre fitting places and petrol down and srsly pissed off.And then. And then the people arrived to buy my (insert name of most hated car on here!) a bit later than they had said. I shall doff my hat to this couple who were both young (early twenties tops and the girl was pregnant) because they set off at 8.45am from the South coast and hit horrendous traffic jams on the way, finally arriving around 5.00pm, honouring the deal and driving back in said car. I think they got back at midnight and then sending me a text to say how happy they were with said car.So there are genuine, nice, honest car buyers still out there.

[dollywobbler]

Working the other way around, I foolishly left my coat at the seller of the Alfa. He posted it back to me! What a chap. Makes me feel even worse for the fact that he was almost weeping as I drove his Alfa off to a new life (reminds me of when I did that as my beautiful Tobacco Leaf Rover P6 Series 1 V8 burbled off down the road...)

[Mr Lobster]

More good selling news here too.After a couple of phone calls over our Alto, bloke drives down from North Yorkshire, we agree a price, he hands over the cash and off he goes.Still, I'm sad to see it gone but hey ho I suppose.

[Pete-M]

As far as I'm concerned if you buy a car on ebay then it's yours. Unless it's a complete disaster made out to be perfect then there's nothing you can do. Just buy the bloody thing and hope for the best.I bought my T5, unseen, off ebay. Advert was terrible, sellers communication was dire (listed by a friend) and it was 230 miles from home. Went to get it and it's a good one. Having said that, if it'd been a scruffy old thing then I'd have probably taken it anyway as that's what ebay is about. You take your chances with ebay.I've bought a fair few cars off there and been lucky with all of them. A £300 Sierra XR4x4 (200 miles away again) was fine and dandy.It's just buyers I seem to have problems with. Some have been spot-on, most have, but flogging that old Escort van last month was just a fucking disaster.

[vicsmith]

Yeah, I just sold my Mercedes 190e to a copper on Saturday, after the deal he mentioned he was taking it to a local renowned Mercedes specialist to have it checked out ....just gets worse!!!! I expect that'll bite me on the 'arris what with all the luck I've had of late.

Several years ago I nearly sold my 928 to a property developer (all sharp suit, Rolex, cuff-links and Mercedes Coupe), his policeman partner advised getting it checked by the local Porsche "specialist" I took the car down there and eventually got shown the four pages of A4 list of faults, with a revised offer of half the asking price. I was quite happy not to sell him the car. Interestingly the faults included such life-threatening items as "grubby trim, noisy sun-roof motor, loose trim, worn driver's heel mat, missing badge (it was in the glove-box) etc. The gearbox fault (whine) was actually a rear wheel bearing. What did surprise me was that with such a comprehensive hatchet job on the car by a specialist, there was no mention of a compression test on the engine. I have a feeling I was meant to be frightened into accepting the offer by pages of "faults"I had the wheel bearing changed, got it valeted and eventually sold it to someone else

This hatchet job is pretty much what an AA inspection consists of. If anyone ever tells you they are buying a car subject to an AA inspection, you are in the difficult position of feeling as though you should agree in order to not seem dodgy, yet at the same time knowing that the sale is dead right there, the AA can take no chances, it looks bad on them if the car turns out to have a fault later, so they have to find faults and can`t take a wider view on anything, any car over 6 or 7 years old will produce pages of faults no matter how nice it is in the real world.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Yeah, I just sold my Mercedes 190e to a copper on Saturday, after the deal he mentioned he was taking it to a local renowned Mercedes specialist to have it checked out ....just gets worse!!!! I expect that'll bite me on the 'arris what with all the luck I've had of late.

Several years ago I nearly sold my 928 to a property developer (all sharp suit, Rolex, cuff-links and Mercedes Coupe), his policeman partner advised getting it checked by the local Porsche "specialist" I took the car down there and eventually got shown the four pages of A4 list of faults, with a revised offer of half the asking price. I was quite happy not to sell him the car. Interestingly the faults included such life-threatening items as "grubby trim, noisy sun-roof motor, loose trim, worn driver's heel mat, missing badge (it was in the glove-box) etc. The gearbox fault (whine) was actually a rear wheel bearing. What did surprise me was that with such a comprehensive hatchet job on the car by a specialist, there was no mention of a compression test on the engine. I have a feeling I was meant to be frightened into accepting the offer by pages of "faults"I had the wheel bearing changed, got it valeted and eventually sold it to someone else

This hatchet job is pretty much what an AA inspection consists of. If anyone ever tells you they are buying a car subject to an AA inspection, you are in the difficult position of feeling as though you should agree in order to not seem dodgy, yet at the same time knowing that the sale is dead right there, the AA can take no chances, it looks bad on them if the car turns out to have a fault later, so they have to find faults and can`t take a wider view on anything, any car over 6 or 7 years old will produce pages of faults no matter how nice it is in the real world.

AA/RAC car checks are a waste of time anyway - I've refused them if asked. If the car is a Merc for example, tell the buyer to find the nearest MB dealer to me and pay for an inspection there. An hour on the ramp and an opinion of the car from someone who really knows about Mercs is what the buyer needs.

[Pete-M]

Continuing saga of the Golf.Two lads came down from Sunderland today to view it. Nice enough lads. When they rang they asked the usual "What's the least you'll take for it" and I gave them my rock bottom price- £2000.They turned up, I took them out for a spin in it, they looked all over the car and pointed out a small trolley ding, a light crack in one rear light lens and a little bit of paintwork needed. All fair points.They then offered £500 less than the car is advertised for, and wanted me to tax it as well - with me paying for the tax... I pointed out that I'd knocked £300 quid off the price when he asked me on the phone, and that I'd told them not to bother turning up if they weren't going to bring £2k. I told them I had no problem nipping to the Post Office to tax it, but that I'm not paying for the bloody tax. So they left, apologising for wasting my time and saying they'll probably come back at the weekend. Nice lads, but I'm not a fucking charidee.Next thing, another chap, local this time, wanting to know how much I'd give him for his X reg Merc A140 Classic as a trade in. I had to go to him to view it though, as it had no tax. FFS. Rang a trader and got a valuation on it "A grand mate, nobody wants the A140, even less want the Classic as it's not got Aircon. Would retail at £1500ish". I go to have a look, nice enough little thing, metallic blue with a few choice options but, sure enough, no A/C and the engine management light glowing away. Chap kept badgering me for a valuation and eventually I told him "I don't want it, but I'll give you a grand off the Golf for it". He then says "Oh, I can get a Mk1 GTi for £1100, I'm going to look at it tonight". WTF are these people on?

[Station]

Sold the MR2 successfully on ebay. The buyer has a history of MR2-related buying and then breaking, unfortunately, his dad had a stroke so he can't come up until next week, but offered to pay a deposit. Which is fair enough.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Continuing saga of the Golf. "What's the least you'll take for it" and I gave them my rock bottom price- £2000. I had to go to him to view it though, as it had no tax. FFS.

A couple of things. When someone asks 'what's the least you'll take for it', you know you're dealing with an idiot who can't afford it. Fuck off Boys. My answer is always 'what's the most you'll pay', but my mind is made up by that point that I'm dealing with a peniless retard. These two gusset stains didn't come across with 2 grand. They won't be back.I'd never dream of taking a car to a punter. Even when I sold cars from main dealers I fucked off anyone asking that. If they can't get to you, tough shit. There are things called taxis and buses! Again, the guy 'interested' in the Golf was a wanker.....Where do these twats come from?In the meantime remember this; you are selling a very straight example of a rare and sought after car, not some worthless auction snotter. £2300 is the price, but turn up with cash and we'll discuss it after I've seen the colour of your money. Always remember the old adage about the antique trhat wouldn't sell until the price was high enough.

[Pete-M]

Continuing saga of the Golf. "What's the least you'll take for it" and I gave them my rock bottom price- £2000. I had to go to him to view it though, as it had no tax. FFS.

A couple of things. When someone asks 'what's the least you'll take for it', you know you're dealing with an idiot who can't afford it. Fuck off Boys. My answer is always 'what's the most you'll pay', but my mind is made up by that point that I'm dealing with a peniless retard. These two gusset stains didn't come across with 2 grand. They won't be back.I'd never dream of taking a car to a punter. Even when I sold cars from main dealers I fucked off anyone asking that. If they can't get to you, tough shit. There are things called taxis and buses! Again, the guy 'interested' in the Golf was a wanker.....Where do these twats come from?In the meantime remember this; you are selling a very straight example of a rare and sought after car, not some worthless auction snotter. £2300 is the price, but turn up with cash and we'll discuss it after I've seen the colour of your money. Always remember the old adage about the antique trhat wouldn't sell until the price was high enough.

Oh, I didn't take the Golf to him, I went to see his A class because I was local when he rang. He didn't even see the Golf - if he had he'd have realised that a grand and his A140 was a bloody good deal.As for the Golf being sought after, that's for certain! The £2k price is for it in its 'before' condition. As I said to the lads who came to see it "If I spend £500 on it, I'll be able to get a lot more than £2500 for it. As it is, I'm taking it to a classic show at the weekend where it'll be parked up with a for sale sign in the window - and it'll be taxed. I doubt it'll still be here next week.".I then spent the afternoon giving it a proper, proper valet. Oh man, it's friggin' gorgeous.

[Gompo]

A couple of things. When someone asks 'what's the least you'll take for it', you know you're dealing with an idiot who can't afford it. Fuck off Boys.

I think I know what you might be trying to say (that when you're offereing a genuine car at it's market value with no pressure to sell) but if not:I'm not an idiot, and have said this to some people. It doesnt mean I cant afford the car either - it more likely means that I know what the car is worth, and it's not worth the asking price, or that I think the seller might be desperate and if I could come over with the cash in hand that day, they might be willing to do a bit of a deal. It can work too..

[dollywobbler]

Actually, I used exactly that line when buying the Alfa. Was a good haggling session. He then named a figure, I named a lower one and after holding out, I got it for slightly more than my starting figure and a good chunk less than his.Selling cars is a real ballache though. Even a good sale like the Rover yesterday - trying to meet up with the bloke at the station turned into a bit of a nightmare due to a misunderstanding and the fact that the chap didn't use his mobile phone. He actually got a student on the train to text me to tell me his expected time of arrival, but I couldn't get back in touch with him!A very nice chap though and a good sale. One day, I'll own a P6 without losing a shit load of money...

[Rocket88]

I've posted a few of our old sheds on a local [Jersey] website to try and out them. I've had the same bloke ring up two days in a row. Conversation [on both occasions went thus]

"I'm ringing up about the cars"........"Anyone in particular?"......"What do you have still for sale".....Series 1 Shogun, all the rest are sold"......[pause from other end]...."Got any Peugeots?"..........."No, only a series 1 Shogun"....."Got any Golfs?...........[right ,you mouth breating retard, you asked for it]..............."Yup, Mk1 Golf Clipper cabriolet"....Is that a convertible?"........"Yup".........How much is that"...."£1500, it's pretty much mint".........."Is it fuel injected?"....."No, 1800 cc carb"....."Is it a 2 litre?"...............by this time, the red mist has well and truly decended..."no, it's an 1800 5 speed manual, brand new hood, electrically operated, no rust anywhere........."Will you take £800"..................."How would you like a series 1 Shogun shoved up your arse"

[Station]

A couple of things. When someone asks 'what's the least you'll take for it', you know you're dealing with an idiot who can't afford it. Fuck off Boys.

Are you meant to say 'well, it was advertised for 800 quid, but I had a little special reserve of £50 for special people like you'. I have never haggled over a car, but my dad does and it has always embaressed me watching him. He's a classic 'I'm walking away with the money now' type.I have to wait two weeks for this bloke on ebay and the MR2. He claims his dad has had a stroke and he can't come up til the weekend. I told him he'd have to take it this weekend as I'm going to Australia on Monday. I'm not sure whether to believe him, but it's a massive pain in the arse as -I'M SELLING THE CAR BECAUSE I NEED THE MONEY -NOW- AND NOT IN TWO FRIGGING WEEKS. I even stated that IN THE FUCKING ADVERT!!!

[Guest]

Its funny how significant purchases on ebay always seem to coincide with death or major illness befalling relatives isnt it. Either that or such events occur with the sort of frequency as seen in sodding Eastenders. I cant remember the last murder/heart attack/serious road traffic accident affecting any members of my family.

[Station]

Bloke turned up, didn't even look at the car and gave me the money as he stepped out of his car. I wish I hadn't spent three days getting it acceptable now! Took it away on his a-frame back to Plymouth via Manchester.

[Guest Tony Hayers]

Fuck, dont get me started on this topic Last year, I sold an early MK3 Fester. Well I say sell, more like a trial to get rid of the bloody thing. All the dregs of humanity phoned or knocked on my door infact one fella rang up at 12:30 am where he was sternly told to cunt off.And now the last few weeks I have been trying to sell my Volvo. Some guy gets in touch - you know the type all enthusiastic and no show. After a few emails I said about taking a few pictures for him thats all I had for 2 days was "Where are the pictures?" or "I really wanted to see the car this evening". If It were me I would put the effort into actually seeing the car (as I did when I swapped the SAAB for it with Torsten) rather than banging on about pictures.Today I got a reply saying that his wife was "not impressed". Sorry? Not impressed by what? Its a Volvo 700 so you know what it looks like, its £250, has a few months ticket left and is in good nick. WTF do you want for £250?????My reply was -

Thanks for letting me know. Whilst I appreciate it is not the best looking car in the world I am a bit confused as to the comment of your wife being 'not impressed' To be honest what the fuck were you expecting for £250. Its an old Volvo 700 (and almost everyone knows what they look like, just say the 'brick shaped one') with a few months ticket left. Its never going to be a Rolls-Royce. It may sound hard what I have just written, but it really boils my piss when people expect the world on a stick for a 19 year old £250 car. All the best in finding a car that matches what you want, christ only knows whatever that may be.

Selling any car is a pain in the arse, but anything under a grand is a complete ball ache with every meths swilling dick head under the sun out to 'view your motah'

[Mr_Bo11ox]

A couple of things. When someone asks 'what's the least you'll take for it', you know you're dealing with an idiot who can't afford it. Fuck off Boys.

Are you meant to say 'well, it was advertised for 800 quid, but I had a little special reserve of £50 for special people like you'.

I guess you're gonna find out station!

I have a bit less money than you want - "what's the lowest you will go?"

I have fallen for this one once too often, now I always say 'I'll only discuss the price with someone who's seen the car'. I'm certainly not saying you're a messer Station BTW as you certainly dont seem like one. But in my experience (and clearly in rev blowjob's) that question is like a big flashing warning sign to any seller and a buyer asking me it usually gets the brush off one way or another from me.

[Station]

Haha, hence the "quotation" marks, I hated asking that, was just wondering the ono. I have literally 50 quid less than he's asking for as per 'ono'. :)I'm seriously looking for a BL/Austin Rover motor though.

[Guest]

I have fallen for this one once too often, now I always say 'I'll only discuss the price with someone who's seen the car'.

I have had people who try to knock down the price over the phone. I'm never "off" with them, I keep it friendly and encourage them to come and have a look, even stating outright that I'm willing to move a bit on the price. They then promise to ring back later and arrange a viewing, but then never do. Seems like if they can't get £100 off before they even turn up (and inevitably ask for more), they just can't be bothered at all. Bastards.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

They were never gonna buy it anyway, thats what you've gotta bear in mind. If you had knocked £499 off a £500 car they still would haggle, fart about then not turn up when they said they would. You have just deflected them on to some other advert somewhere.... problem solved.

[gallondrunk]

.

[Negative Creep]

I never have much luck selling cars. I had an MX5, genuinely great condition yet was up for 2 months with barely a sniff. In the end I swapped it for a Colt and was defrauded in the process (tax payment had bounced, took the owner to court but the prick still hasn't paid me). My 200SX before that was even worse as it attracted all the wrong sorts, although eventually 2 guys from Northern Ireland drove down to meet me in Exeter and handed over cash without even looking at it! Every time I sell something I spend ages cleaning it, get some proper photos and write a long, honest and accurate description and price it carefully. Yet it never seems to work - I don't know why I bother sometimesWill be selling my Golf once it's back from the MOT, need a quick sale but have a feeling it won't be easy. I'm hoping there's a good market for clean, original and un-scene taxed GTi's. Also just worked out that I have to sell my Datsun in 2 months No idea how it will go to be honest, I'm hoping it will avoid the dickhead market and go to an enthusiast but anything could happen. Will only be using ebay as a last resort, I'm fed up of HI M8 DO U WANNA SWAP 4 MI 1LITER CORSA type messages. The actual thought of having to part with it is actually making me depressed already, seeing that drive off is going to be like being dumped!

[Guest]

I never have much luck selling cars. I had an MX5, genuinely great condition yet was up for 2 months with barely a sniff. In the end I swapped it for a Colt and was defrauded in the process (tax payment had bounced, took the owner to court but the prick still hasn't paid me). My 200SX before that was even worse as it attracted all the wrong sorts, although eventually 2 guys from Northern Ireland drove down to meet me in Exeter and handed over cash without even looking at it! Every time I sell something I spend ages cleaning it, get some proper photos and write a long, honest and accurate description and price it carefully. Yet it never seems to work - I don't know why I bother sometimesWill be selling my Golf once it's back from the MOT, need a quick sale but have a feeling it won't be easy. I'm hoping there's a good market for clean, original and un-scene taxed GTi's. Also just worked out that I have to sell my Datsun in 2 months No idea how it will go to be honest, I'm hoping it will avoid the dickhead market and go to an enthusiast but anything could happen. Will only be using ebay as a last resort, I'm fed up of HI M8 DO U WANNA SWAP 4 MI 1LITER CORSA type messages. The actual thought of having to part with it is actually making me depressed already, seeing that drive off is going to be like being dumped!

Dunno, is it rear wheel drive? You've always got to bear in mind the insane 42 year old RC car racing 40 car owning bollocks talking Irish Skool persuasion of car buyer before you sell anything old, Japanese and rear wheel drive. Assuming that it is is rear wheel drive.I wish you the very best of luck.

[Negative Creep]

It is indeed rear wheel drive. I am thinking about not mentioning this in the advert just to avoid such people...........

[Guest]

It is indeed rear wheel drive. I am thinking about not mentioning this in the advert just to avoid such people...........

A good idea if ever I heard one,,,,............watanabe

[Negative Creep]

NOT GR8 4 DRIFTIN