I can haz cupholders - 21st century motoring HAPPENS. E39 Bimmerheap acquired for NOWT

[Guest Breadvan72]

The reading material in the coffee shack at the car wash made me lose the will to live.  Well, not Mrs Ex Lineker, obvs.

 

Soz, cannot make the lying down ones stand up.  Not sure if this was Gary Lineker's problem with his ex.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Darn it, I will have to change my profile or signature line or whatever it is called, as this car is, I suppose, quite modern.  The tech advance from the E34 seems pretty substantial.    Lots of bells and whistles which are elecktronickal voodoo and make my primitive mind AFEARED, although the car itself still seems to be recognisably a mechanical device, not a computer with wheels on. 

[beko1987]

That is bloody lovely. Amazing score for free!

[Longblackcoat]

That does look nice. What idiot gave that away?

[Guest Breadvan72]

Ha!  Welcome, lovely bloke.  You will like it here.   I wandered in some years ago to try to blag a component for a fooked Lancia Beta Spider.  I stayed.  

[Guest Breadvan72]

lbc, the thread below explains why AS is the rulingest forum in the Cosmos.

http://autoshite.com/topic/12081-autoshite-not-just-pistonheads-for-poor-people/

 

Exec summary  (not my words - I wish they were!): -
 

"The main thing I admire about this forum is the length that some people go to save some un-popular rusted out putrid car that's had its front end submerged in a pond for 14 years would probably snap in two if it were jacked up and if you sat in it you'd be likely to catch cholera. The person who spots it comes on here asking "is it worth saving?" to which everyone else types "yes of course" or "go for it" type responses so the person goes ahead gets the car delivered to their middle class semi on a Monday morning this causes an emergency Neighbourhood Watch meeting on Monday evening and a trip to the divorce court on Friday morning, on Saturday evening the car catches fire and burns the house down. The person posts on here what's happened to which people respond with sympathetic posts like "such a shame, you won't find another car like that" then someone else offers a free Austin Montego that's been buried in a quarry for 8 years and the process starts all over again ... welcome to Autoshite. "

[Longblackcoat]

Ha!  Welcome, lovely bloke.  You will like it here.   I wandered in some years ago to try to blag a component for a fooked Lancia Beta Spider.  I stayed.

 

Lancia Beta Spyder? I drove one of those about, I dunno, maybe 15 years back. The guy who owned it had spent a barrow load of cash, which resulted in a no-longer-quite-as-shit-as-it-used-to-be Lancia, but one which was

still worse than almost anything else you could have thrown that sort of wedge at. Poor guy was maybe 2/3 of the way to completion, but was still at least £3k off finishing it. This for a car that was worth maybe £2-3k tops. I really felt for him, and after driving it I had to wonder why he even started.

 

Were they ever any good? It was really hard to tell from the one I drove. Shit brakes, occasionally sycromeshing box, lots of fury but bugger all actual speed. Pretty, it has to be said. But pretty dreadful overall.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Lancia Beta Spyder? I drove one of those about, I dunno, maybe 15 years back. The guy who owned it had spent a barrow load of cash, which resulted in a no-longer-quite-as-shit-as-it-used-to-be Lancia, but one which was

still worse than almost anything else you could have thrown that sort of wedge at. Poor guy was maybe 2/3 of the way to completion, but was still at least £3k off finishing it. This for a car that was worth maybe £2-3k tops. I really felt for him, and after driving it I had to wonder why he even started.

 

Were they ever any good? It was really hard to tell from the one I drove. Shit brakes, occasionally sycromeshing box, lots of fury but bugger all actual speed. Pretty, it has to be said. But pretty dreadful overall.

 

 

My Spider was a good one - a late series two 2000, in good nick.  It drove well.  Rorty, raspy, handly, stoppy.  The 1300 Coupe was a mess, but fun.  I have also had a 2000 Volumex HPE (the supercharged shooting brake one).  Betas are pretty ace, IMO.   One of the best handling FWD cars that I have experienced, and even the povvo models came with five speed boxes and disc brakes all round, which was quite a thing for the 70s and even the early 80s.  I have never had a 1600 Beta, so might get one, one of these days..  

[chaseracer]

Looking at the BMW, part of me now wishes I'd not moved my 300E on.  The more sensible part acknowledges that it was in danger of becoming a little like LBC's mate's Beta Spyder...

[NorfolkNWeigh]

An e30 with a Corvette engine and Lineker's scantily clad ex in the passenger seat , that would make me stand upright 6 months after dying.

[martybabes]

I had an E39 528 and loved it.

I now have an E39 with two more cylinders and love that even more.  

[colino]

If that is a folding rear seat, you have all the car you will ever need.  Don't ever sell it (unless to me!) and don't try and use the cupholders, the fronts are comically too low down to be of any practical use and the rears are there for young people to break.

[Guest Breadvan72]

The seats do fold, and there is even a built in ski bag  (or body bag, not sure which).

[Longblackcoat]

A very thin body, it has to be said........

[Guest Breadvan72]

Starve 'em before you kill 'em.  It's the best way.

[320touring]

Looks a nice enough brief-well acquired!

 

still an e34 fan over an e39 but they are a decent enough place to be-if a little too ecu/electrickery happy for my limited spanner skills.

 

A mate has a stupendous m5- utterly lush

[Guest Breadvan72]

I feel that I am being drawn to the Dark Side.  I had thought that the E34 was the pinnacle of exec waft-o-car-ness, but I must confess to being seduced by the greater power, handliness and creature comfies of the E39.  The poor old E34, ace as it is, feels clonky and shonky in comparison. I keep telling myself that it's a type of car that hails from the 90s, and is thus tolerable (just).    Hey, at least it ain't got a fucking Sat Nav. 

 

love

 

Kylo Ren's more fucked-up little brother. 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Car needs new tyres ( i have probably yobbed the tread off all four since Saturday) and a rear supension ball joint.  Still pretty darn tootin'. 

[andrew e]

Inspired by this thread I washed mine today. Looks good, but is worn out really (200k) not moved since 2011 I think

 

 

Still it keeps my Nan's house looking occupied.

[Longblackcoat]

Inspired by this thread I washed mine today. Looks good, but is worn out really (200k) not moved since 2011 I think

Still it keeps my Nan's house looking occupied.

200k on one of these isn't worn out! I've been in one with over that and it was great. Pulled like a train, drank like a fish (540i) and properly nice. It had had lots of suspension work, admittedly, and a partial respray at some time, but no rust that I cold see. And if it had dropped any performance I didn't notice.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Car can HAZ new Michelins for 124 a pop.    Crikey, you could get a lot of cars for that money, some places. 

[colino]

e39s, especially if driven in a, "spirited" fashion eat tyres (and suspension parts and brakes) so time to find your local part-worn specialist and get it on Pirellis.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Nar, I don't do skimpage on tyres.  Everything else can be done on the cheapo, but not tyres.  

[23rdian]

Can I join in. Just parked this up while I try to sort the sodding cooling system (again)

 

The cupholders do work with McDonalds coffee cups - what more do you need.

 

 

1998 528i MANUAL - at least no autobox probs on this one

 

[nacho man]

 

E39 appreciation thread.

 

Here's one I had early.

 

Cracking car.

[RoadworkUK]

 

FathaRWUK's 540i towing my 825. It didn't even notice the Rover was there.

 

Fucking terrifying.

 

Brilliant.

[martybabes]

 

145,000 and still going strong (but I wish it sounded like the one above - mine's too quiet)

[trigger]

This is the first time I've spotted this thread, that's one gorgous looking BM Mr BV, I even like the colour and the contrast with the leather. Very well played.

 

I can't help but look at your car collection with envy now.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Cheers, Trigster!   for shitefest this year, maybe I should rustle up volunteers to bring several of the heaps over in order to enjoy the derision of the Autoshite community at large - I am not far from the venue.

[beko1987]

Cheers, Trigster!   for shitefest this year, maybe I should rustle up volunteers to bring several of the heaps over in order to enjoy the derision of the Autoshite community at large - I am not far from the venue.

If I can sleep in one I am up for helping!