funny driving test tales?

[loserone]

In the weeks leading up to my test, my instructor (who was semi-retired, but taught me as he'd taught my brothers) told me of an examiner who had recently moved to the area, and who had a reputation for a high fail rate.  This examiner lived about four houses away from my parents house, but technically on a different street.  Apparently if you live on the same street as an examiner, they avoid using them for the test.  

 

We weren't sure I was ready on the day as I'd had a few months off and then a hopeless lesson.  Parked up in the test bay and the examiner-with-a-reputation comes over to the car, so my instructor tells me just to treat it as experience and assume I've failed already.  Good technique.

 

We spent most of the test talking about redecorating houses, and he was pretty good in that he allowed me to shut up when I was particularly concentrating at busy roundabouts and so on.  Later on in the test the weather turned into a proper summer storm, wipers-on-full and running / standing water everywhere. I didn't point out at this point that I'd never driven in rain, figuring that'd be obvious.  I concentrated on not crashing rather than trying to 'drive for the test' figuring I'd already failed.

 

In the end it must have been a bloody lucky drive and I had only clocked up three minors;  one he wasn't quite sure I'd done the over-the-shoulder check as I made a 3 pointer into a 5 pointer, one for not getting it in three when I could/should have done, and..

 

A  minor for "not making sufficient progress", as apparently I could have safely overtaken someone who was doing 45 in a NSL during the heavy rain.  A few months later, said NSL became a 40..

[Richard]

When I did my two car tests and one bike test the examiners were like robots, nothing was said during the test other than instructions. They weren't even allowed to tell you where you had failed, just the category.

[Andrew353w]

I taught my daughter to drive. At the end of her test the examiner told her she had passed & asked who had taught her, as the car (our family's V.W. Polo) didn't have a driving school's sign on the roof. My daughter explained that her Father had taught her, to which the examiner asked "is your Dad a policeman?" "No" says my daughtrer, "but he's done the police driving test." "Well, it shows. You're a very good driver! Just one thing; it's not necessary to double-decluch when changing gears these days...."  

 

I hadn't even realised I'd taught her to double-declutch, it's so much of a second nature fore me!

[twosmoke300]

Spent most of my car test yapping about motorbikes . I forgot to put the car in first for the hill start and rolled back a yard but he said " we will put that down as nerves shall we ? "😄

[They_all_do_that_sir]

Done my bike test on my faithful Honda CG125. Absolutely pissing it down.

 

Examiner was impressed* by my kickstart return spring consisting of a massive elastic band.

Also told me afterwards my rear wheel was desperately out of alignment with the front, he was following me wondering why I was making two seperate tracks through the water....

 

But the best bit was it would barely start, he told me DO NOT switch your machine off during the test as I don't have faith it will restart....

 

Glad the speed limit for learners over here is 45 as the bike struggled to hit an indicated 50.

 

Really was a crock of shit BUT I passed and that's all that matters

[tooSavvy]

Thread resurrection 😱

Actually just looking to hang up this question...

If you're having a test in an AUTOMATIC....

#1.. do you leave it in drive, but yark handbrake at all stops/junctions (manuals are 'hold on biting point, release hbrake proceed'

#2.. all roundabouts are approached/slowed for to 2nd gear (in a manual..) Is it just 'brake 'n go' in an auto 🤔

Just wondering...

🚙💨

[LightBulbFun]

1 hour ago, tooSavvy said:

#1.. do you leave it in drive, but yark handbrake at all stops/junctions (manuals are 'hold on biting point, release hbrake proceed'

you dont actually have to bother with the handbrake actually in a driving test,: in my passing driving test I never actually used handbrake in traffic at all (I do use it in REV tho)

1 hour ago, tooSavvy said:

#2.. all roundabouts are approached/slowed for to 2nd gear (in a manual..) Is it just 'brake 'n go' in an auto 🤔

nor do they care much what gear your in, they only really care that whatever you do, your controlling the car safely/doing it safely

 

 

on the topic subject

one of my minors, the "response to signs/signals - traffic lights"

I got a bit too relaxed towards the end of the test and almost blew through a red light, distracted, talking to the examiner about Invacars,  (the Clutch control one is one that I always think about and go "typical!" as having had learnt clutch control in @Zelandeth's Lada Riva, it was the one thing I did not have any problem with what so ever, but of course on this driving test I did manage to stall it pulling out through a junction!)

the other anecdote  traffic was heavy and I took the wrong exit twice at a round about or 2, so I had a bit of a longer test then usual which my instructor tells me caused some consternation as to where I was! when I should of been back 15-20 minutes ago, further to that apparently how the examiner called her over to the car first, before telling me the test results is normally how they do fails rather then passes, so the whole thing was as much of a rollercoaster ride for my instructor as it was for me on test it seems LOL

that was my 3rd test, failed my 1st test fail was because I stopped behind a Jaguar E type that I thought was stopped traffic, but was actually parking up on the side of the road (on double yellows I should add!) examiner did rightfully point out I should of noticed how close to kerb it was...

 

[DavieW]

Not exciting or funny, but I had 2 emergency stops during my test. The first was the "official" one and the second when a child ran into the road in front of me. 

[808 Estate]

Two tales from friends of mine from back in the late 80s.

Friend exits the test centre with examiner. Examiner neatly dressed in suit, friend in a chunky "boiler suit".  Examiner asks what vehicle they are using. Friend points to series 2a landy with no top. Bearing in mind, its January and about 2 degrees, examiner looks a bit "worried". Examiner suggests they enter vehicle and get ready for test. Friend opens pocket of suit and pulls out some wires which he connects to dash board and puts on seat belt.

What are those wires asks examiner? Heated tank suit replies friend. Its bloody cold otherwise. Test proceeds and they drive off up the road. Examiner start to turn white. They enter the 40 zone so he accelerates to speed limit. Examiner starts to turn blue and looks at friend who is trying not to to grin as he "concentrates" on test. 

Examiner says, when you get to the next roundabout, make a 180 degree turn and proceed back to the test centre. Matey returns to centre and parks up neatly. Examiner looks close to death. friend asks if he wants to test his highway code knowledge. No! Youve passed I'm off insdie. Follow me for your slip.

 

Second friend did his test in a Mk1 Transit with sliding door. Test progressed well until emergency stop. Tester braced against forward movement by putting his hand to the door frame. Door slides forwards and breaks fingers. Friend drives examiner to A&E, sitting in waiting room, examiner gives him his fail sheet for having an unsafe vehicle.

[rainagain]

A former colleague managed to stall her car when asked to do a hill start. She was panicking trying restart it. Whilst doing this the car rolled backwards and knocked over a guy trying to cross the road with his dog behind her.

Sitting my own test in my ropey Nova I had to offer to adjust the examiners seat with some pliers as the handle had fallen off it. The same seat also handily decided not to lock when the examined slid it back so later on during the test when I braked hard it ratcheted forward compressing the examiner into the dash. I still don’t know how I actually manage to pass despite all of this.