Shagged XJS - GOT THE MOVES LIKE JAGUAR. NOW with inept attempts to start after one year on its bum

[NorfolkNWeigh]

  On 27/07/2015 at 10:06, Junkman said:

I was 28 in 92, I wonder whether you guys are still a year older than me.

Wow,I've got an Austrian twin ,that must make me Danny Devito. At least we're not old farts like Breadfoot and Barevan.

[Skizzer]

Of all the XJ-Ss around at the moment, I'd be most tempted by this one.  It appears to have had the bodywork sorted three years ago by XJ Restorations (see pic), where my XJ6 lives, who are definitely not bodgers.  They're crap at getting around to fixing mine, but they're not bodgers.

 

#

http://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C618192

 

It's not badly priced if it's tidy, but it still makes Breadvan's purchase look like a real bargain.  Looking forward to an update...

[Magnificent Rustbucket]

  On 27/07/2015 at 10:31, vulgalour said:

I was 11 in 1992.  E-freaking-leven.  

 

 

I was feeling devilish smug 'till I read that!

[NorfolkNWeigh]

In 20 years time we'll be telling our grandkids about the good old days when you could buy immaculate XJ-s' for under "£5k and patrol only cost £112 a litre.

[Junkman]

I'm telling kids now that I once bought a peach of a Maserati Ghibli for 6,500 D-Marks, when the petrol cost 70 Pfennigs per litre.

They then ask why the D-Mark was worth so much more than the Euro.

Hence, do not tell stories to people too young to remember Three Mile Island.

[Guest Breadvan72]

  On 27/07/2015 at 10:31, vulgalour said:

I was 11 in 1992.  E-freaking-leven.  

 

Breadvan to vulgalour in 1992  -

 

BV:  "Hey, little boy, if I give you a sweetie will you come in my car?" 

 

Vulg : "Mister, give me the whole packet and I'll come in your mouth."

 

BV:  "Deal.  You got a sister?"

 

Vulg:  "Yep.  She's nine, but, it's OK, she only looks six". 

 

BV:  It's party time!

 

(....continue until Goddard Inquiry)

 

[Car would be a 1986 E30 BMW 325i (E386 KOY), BTW, that was about to be replaced by a 1992 325i E whatevs (K993 FUW), if only to get rid of the incriminating stains. ]

[Guest Breadvan72]

  On 27/07/2015 at 10:57, Skizzer said:

Of all the XJ-Ss around at the moment, I'd be most tempted by this one.  It appears to have had the bodywork sorted three years ago by XJ Restorations (see pic), where my XJ6 lives, who are definitely not bodgers.  They're crap at getting around to fixing mine, but they're not bodgers.

 

#

http://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C618192

 

It's not badly priced if it's tidy, but it still makes Breadvan's purchase look like a real bargain.  Looking forward to an update...

 

 

Judging by the photos, the car is either in Australia or those new Falkens is well grippy innit.

[Guest Breadvan72]

UPDATEAGE.  I have handed over the wedge (I haggled some wong off the already low asking price because of the evident need for body and paint work).

 

Vendors: two pleasant lads, a pair of brothers who have set up as traders from home.  I get the impression that they are new to the game.  I have spoken to both on the phone, and met one.  That one seemed genuinely unfamiliar with autoboxes.  We went up and down steep hills and I was using the lock ups, and he asked me, in a friendly way and with apparently unfeigned interest, what I was doing and why.  He thought that you just stuck the thing in Drive all day long (which, of course, you can, but need not).  He also asked me if the 1983 Rover that I pitched up in was tax free.  He said that the Rover was "well sick, mate!", and assumed it to be a V8 despite the obvious 2600 badges.  He's right about one thing, BTW, as the Rovah is well sick, Blud.

 

The chap also seemed genuinely surprised when I told him that the Jaaaaaaaaaag had obviously been rear ended at some point and then repaired  (offside door not quite right, right rear bumper damage).  Most traders can spot accident history, even when well repaired, from 100 metres.  I don't think that the dude was playing dumb.  He seemed a tad inexperienced.  My job helps me, I think, to be a fair judge of who is an an honest man, and I think this guy is honest (or a good actor who has conned me blind).  Whether the car is honest, only time will tell.  It hasn't been cat C or anything like that, according to the checkages I have made. 

 

Collectionage was supposed to be ce soir, but work has intervened to keep me in London overnight, and so I will be going to get the car early evening, tomorrow.    It is now taxed and insured, and just needs some pez.  There is a Shell garage near the vendors' place. so V Powah and fotarze may be in order.

 

MOT lasts until July 2016 and the advisories are all very minor, and not corrosion related.  It had only failed the first time on wipers and headlamp aim.    Anyway, we shall see . 

 

I'll let Archer state the obvious:-

 

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

  On 27/07/2015 at 10:39, NorfolkNWeigh said:

Wow,I've got an Austrian twin ,that must make me Danny Devito. At least we're not old farts like Breadfoot and Barevan.

 

Which of NorfolkNWeigh and Junkman is the evil twin?  Tricky one!

[barefoot]

  On 27/07/2015 at 11:28, Breadvan72 said:

Breadvan to vulgalour in 1992  -

 

BV:  "Hey, little boy, if I give you a sweetie will you come in my car?" 

 

Vulg : "Mister, give me the whole packet and I'll come in your mouth."

 

BV:  "Deal.  You got a sister?"

 

Vulg:  "Yep.  She's nine, but, it's OK, she only looks six". 

 

BV:  It's party time!

 

(....continue until Goddard Inquiry)

 

[Car would be a 1986 E30 BMW 325i (E386 KOY), BTW, that was about to be replaced by a 1992 325i E whatevs (K993 FUW), if only to get rid of the incriminating stains. ]

 

I was going to do a 'like' on this but I daren't in case I am investigated and they find that young girl under the stairs that I rescued....

[inconsistant]

Lynx Eventer.

 

That is all.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Yup, and here is a spare 75K that I just happen to have stuffed down me trahsers.   

[Guest Breadvan72]

Note the grot on the rear arch (it is of course much worse in real life than it appears in the pic), and the crappy door fit.  Other side much better.

 

 

 

[2MB]

I don't think manufacturers often get it right when it comes to facelifting their cars as they age, but jaguar got the rear end treatment of these spot on with the second attempt

[LC Torana]

  On 27/07/2015 at 11:51, Breadvan72 said:

Which of NorfolkNWeigh and Junkman is the evil twin?  Tricky one!

 

Well Junkman has a P6B, so it has to be the other one.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Bad cop, worse cop?

[LC Torana]

No no. Owning a P6 conveys virtue. It's a - how can I put it - a state of automotive grace.

[inconsistant]

  On 27/07/2015 at 12:14, Breadvan72 said:

Yup, and here is a spare 75K that I just happen to have stuffed down me trahsers.

 

That's not 75K that's a dinkle. Put it away and think of all the vans you won't need to hire to take stuff to the tip.

[Guest Breadvan72]

When I had an Interceptor I used it to take stuff to the tip.  TRU PHACKT

[Guest Breadvan72]

  On 27/07/2015 at 12:54, Major Bellend said:

No no. Owning a P6 conveys virtue. It's a - how can I put it - a state of automotive grace.

 

 

That must be why I want to say a Hail Mary every time I go in one.   Blessed Mother of Mercy, intercede that I may be spared this one last time, and I shall sin no more!

[LC Torana]

Oh I get it, the XJS is penance.

[Junkman]

  On 27/07/2015 at 13:27, Breadvan72 said:

That must be why I want to say a Hail Mary every time I go in one.   Blessed Mother of Mercy, intercede that I may be spared this one last time, and I shall sin no more!

 

Hurga???

[Taff]

what are you buying next week, then?

 

I reckon it will be a Lancia of some sort. White, with a red leather interior, short MoT and a non-functioning servo

[Guest Breadvan72]

Penance?  Flagellation, more like.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Lancia? No way!  Italian cars are all shitbuckets ace.  Linky! Linky! 

[Justin Case]

  On 27/07/2015 at 13:41, Taff said:

what are you buying next week, then?

 

I reckon it will be a Lancia of some sort. White, with a red leather interior, short MoT and a non-functioning servo

I was thinking along similar lines, but red, with a white leather interior. It would have to be a Gamma though, as you need* a car where the cambelt falls off when you apply full lock to raise your shite credentials to the next level.

[anonymous user]

The cambelt does not fall off, it just jumps and make sure it has the autobox for added fragility

[anonymous user]

  On 27/07/2015 at 10:57, Skizzer said:

Of all the XJ-Ss around at the moment, I'd be most tempted by this one.  It appears to have had the bodywork sorted three years ago by XJ Restorations (see pic), where my XJ6 lives, who are definitely not bodgers.  They're crap at getting around to fixing mine, but they're not bodgers.

 

#

http://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C618192

 

It's not badly priced if it's tidy, but it still makes Breadvan's purchase look like a real bargain.  Looking forward to an update...

That is exactly what I don't need, which is why I have been looking at XJS dimensions to see if I will be able to open the door wide enough to get in and out on my narrow driveway.

[Magnificent Rustbucket]

They're actually fairy narrow by modern standards - long though. I see it is a Cheshire registered car -  probably sold by Henley's in Chester, Arthur Royle in Prestbury or Jaguar House Warrington. 

 

I knew a lad at school whose dad had a V12 Lynx Eventer. I didn't go in it though. Admittedly this is not one of my better anecdotes, but probably more interesting than the name of the supplying dealer.

[Pete-M]

I've had a couple of XJ-S. One V12 and a 3.6. The V12 nearly ruined me, but the 3.6 (with Sport suspension) was a nice thing that rarely found new and interesting ways to fail.

 

I suspect the 91-93 4.0 is the nicest one. Looks like a slightly sorted early one but with Ford properly sorted build quality. The big bumper ones ain't pretty.

 

My 3.6 was a Ford built one, it was leagues ahead of my earlier V12 in terms of how much of it actually worked and failed to rattle. Some of the late 70s / early 80s ones built by militants really were a pile of shit.