The roughest car I ever bought

[Louise2cv]

The current Astra:

 

eBay+wine drinking, easily led, holder of PayPal account+being too nice to point out it isn't as described=BAD MOVE.

 

Don't drink and bid, kids.

 

ETA it hasn't been the worst car ever and does the job, but we paid way too much. It has obviously been nicked in the past (glass in rear foot well, perpex quarter light, bent steering column) tatty interior, evidence of rear end crash damage etc etc etc.

[Crusty Sills]

J reg Peugeot 405, really wanted one but limited funds so bought a cheap one.

After getting it realised it had had a shunt on the o/s rear quarter, it was an Ex taxi and had a mysterious engine fault that disappeared when I took it to the garage too get it checked.

On the plus side it was a really comfy car.

[Pillock]

Here's a guide to buying a rotten car:

 

Firstly, make sure you choose something not known for perseverance in the face of oxidisation. Something that is usually found to be a bit crispy, perhaps when even your nan's fishmonger knows that "they all rust there" because they probably came like that from the factory.

Second step - when scanning the eBay advert, look around the pictures. Not at the car, but the surroundings. You're looking for long grass, and other cars in poor states of repairs. The grass will help make sure the rust hits all those pesky bits that haven't been splashed in salt water, what with the car not being driven around, and the other cars will give you a feel for the previous owner's mechanical ability.

 

So it's looking good so far. Don't be hasty though, you need to make sure there's no time to look at the car before wanging a bid on. Looking before you bid spoils the surprises, and could even tempt you into walking away. Stay strong.

 

Now here's a winners trick. What stands up to years of neglect better - painted metal, or some flimsy cloth? Yeah, that's right. You can immediately increase your chances of success by choosing a floppytop, and if you want to be sure just limit the ebay results to areas that you know have more TWOCers than Blackbird Leys in the 1990s. Because what good is a cabriolet roof if it's not got a couple of 18" slash marks in it? How on earth do you think you get footwell puddles, through sheer good luck?

 

 

So it was this process that led me to be the owner of a stolen recovered Astra GTE ragtop, that had been dumped in a field in Ashbourne over the winter. Finding it on eBay two hours before auction end with no bids, thinking I'd got a bargain - no, sometimes people don't bid for a reason. No sills, a bulkhead that made Andrex look structural, smashed locks and steering column, kippered brakes and all the rubber things that once were, were no longer.

 

 

Actually, looks nice there. It wasn't. There's a mossy tidemark on the block paving for a reason, because that thing was going nowhere without the words "hiab" and "£200 COLLECT 2NITE M8" being used.

[brickwall]

The current Astra:

 

eBay+wine drinking, easily led, holder of PayPal account+being too nice to point out it isn't as described=BAD MOVE.

 

Don't drink and bid, kids.

 

ETA it hasn't been the worst car ever and does the job, but we paid way too much. It has obviously been nicked in the past (glass in rear foot well, perpex quarter light, bent steering column) tatty interior, evidence of rear end crash damage etc etc etc.

 

 

Same here - an Astra MkII for me though. Mine was just so bloody awful and would cut out at any given time. It got nicked and returned by the constabulary thrice. I'm sure the coppers thought I was at it.

[Dick Cheeseburger]

I bought back my second car, this Moggie Minor, in 2005 ish. It had been out of my ownership since about 1994. When I sold it, it was tidy overall, but had reached the point where it would have needed some welding and decent fabrication within the next few years to keep it road- going and solid.

Instead, it appeared to have had filler applied to the crusty bits and then had a decent recon engine fitted. Following that, it was laid up in the owners drive for 8 years.

My brother spotted it during his rounds for work, and told me that it had a for sale sign in the window. £75 later, it was mine and stored in an elderly relatives garage. After brief insane thoughts of getting to old girl restored, I quickly came to my senses (it was as rotten as a pear) and sold the engine and box for £100 to a bloke who was restoring his Moggie pickup. I pulled the back number plate off it (which I've still got to this day) and phoned the local scrappie to drag it away and put it out of its misery. I felt I did the right thing for the old girl.

[Louise2cv]

The Astra

Astra.

 

Astra

Hang.

 

On.

 

A.

 

Minute....

 

Could it possibly be that all Vauxhalls are shit? Have we stumbled upon a theory here?

 

 

Surely if this was a well known fact somebody would have warned us?

[fred]

Had far too many to list them all

 

One stands out like a cock in a nunnery mind.

Morris Ital Estate Hearing aid beige - I was 19 years of age, saturday morning raining cold needed a car for monday

as I had rolled my Victor into a hedge trying to do a handbrake turn to impress a field of cows,

Owner looked like Greengrass from heartbeat. He must have been

£45 quid, car lasted 3 hours. back suspension bootfloor and everything else fell off on the A5 by Brownhills

Plod just laughed their little smug heads off.

[mat_the_cat]

 

There's no hope for me. All that picture does (even with the description) is make me want to buy one.

[Pillock]

I bought that for £450, I spent a small amount of cash and a large amount of swearing putting a new steering column on it and sold it for £250 which wasn't my finest hour.

 

The guy only wanted it for the almost new hood, glass and digital dash, he had one that had been vandalised. I hope the engine survived as it was the legendary 1.8 unburstable OHC jobbie and before I learned of the lack of rigidity, was good for triple digital digits on the way home.

[Lord Sterling]

This:

 

 

Rough-as-dogs 827 Coupe. Bought blind whilst out working in the South of France. I'd always wanted an 827 Coupe and for £400 for this (then) taxed, tested and running on LPG Coupe didn't seem such a bad deal, but upon returning to England and seeing it I began to realise that I wasn't buying a nice clean Coupe as I'd thought.

 

Paintwork was patches of rattle can shit, as where the alloys, tyres were scrap, blowing exhaust and non-working drivers window (something of a trait on most 800s I've ever owned) (drivers window cassette has been changed but still doesn't work) dizzy cap held on by cable-tie, steering rack leaking and the electrics did what they wanted.

 

Fair enough, it ain't half as bad as some of the cars here, but still it just wasn't what I'd hoped it to be.

 

My own fault really, I trusted the judgement of the chap who saw it and bought it for me, he doesn't give a shit about the condition of cars, as long as they are running thats all he gives a toss about.

 

Done as much as I could be arsed to do to it, but I gave up and chucked it up for sale, I have much more important things going on now in my life.

[Station]

I I bought a BMW 2002Tii in 2005. It was white with a turbo body kit. It was completely rotten, there was no floor, the engine wouldn't turn, but I wanted one so badly! I had plans of putting a modern engine in and welding it up but I had so many other cars my dad convinced me to scrap it. In 2005 you could get a decent 02 for about 800 quid.

I bought an R33 GTR with a mate at the same time. Either the diff or gearbox seized at speed and destroyed both, including twisting the prop shaft like a liquorice all sort. I rented a garage to put it in, and it didn't move for 6 months until we sold it for what we bought it for. Couldn't find a manual gearbox for it.

[maxpower]

A brown (A) reg mini.... it was so rotten the only thing holding the front of the car to the rest of it was the cables to the speedo i wondered why everytime i braked the front end would lift up... used it as px for a mongdayo.

[Joey spud]

This...

 

 

 

I got this Standard 10 off the 'bay' after not viewing or ringing the guy but trusting every word in the listing.The guy claimed it just needed the engine putting back in and a few hours tinkering to have back on the road.

I had it recovered back from somewhere near Bath and all in it owed me about £850.

 

In the metal it was grim i thought i wanted to join the rat look scene but when it was dropped off i knew i had dropped a massive bollock,even the dogs wouldn't go near it.

The engine was a herald unit that the seller said needed a 'freshen up' and was on the back seat,when i lifted the head off i found two of the pistons had melted and been smeared down the bores.

The gearbox was loosely assembled and missing various bits,the steering box had been dry for years and had enough wear in it to give you about half a turn of nothing at the steering wheel.

The final straw was the recently professionaly replaced sills that were so badly fitted they fouled the doors and the quality of the bird poo weldage looked like the job had been subbed out to Stevie Wonder.

 

I joined the owners club and found various posts on their forum by the cars previous owner one told the story of it seizing up on the motorway and another of how he had borrowed bits off this one before lobbing it on ebay.

 

There is a silver lining though i put it back on the ebay this time fully disclosing how shite it was and got half of my money back and the guy who came to collect turned up in a Ford Probe towing a home made car trailer.

[EssDeeWon]

That black Granada Scorpio last year.

 

It was great smoking around in a 2.9 Granny but everytime I used it something broke or gave up. Was quite glad to see the back of it when I sold it as scrap value to v8scania, who made it 'most' of the way home.

[jonny69]

Two stick out. But that's not hard because I've only ever owned 5 cars.

 

First is this:

 

 

Bought in 2000, that pic is around 2005. I had a couple of years running it and doing the old long MOT year on two tax discs and a hooky MOT. I knew it was going to need some work so started but it turned out to be a complete pear. In this pic you can see I've done the sills and the bottom corner of the door is still missing. I used to think when people said they had replaced the bottom 4" of an Anglia it was a bit of a cliché, but they weren't joking - it was knackered.

 

And the other is this:

 

 

Looks pretty good here and I knew it had been a little bodged up because I'd seen this...

 

 

... but it turned out to be a lot worse once it was ground back:

 

 

I'm glad I didn't end up tackling this one myself. Got the skills, but no way got the time.

[cros]

Second roughest, needs cosmetics.

[alf892]

Blimey that looks lovely.....get some tape over that headlight and get it fired up!

[jonny69]

^ that thing isn't even of any recognisable use either. I think cros is winning this thread so far.

[New POD]

 

 

 

 

 

 

In my shed, I have a perfect set of those wheels.  Originally nova gsi IIRC.  Anyway if anyone wants them, because they are putting a nova back to 'normal' they can have them.  No seriously. Or maybe I'll have to buy a nova in order to use them. (The tyres are fecked though)

[oman5]

Second roughest, needs cosmetics.

I think we need to know MOAR about this honey

[alf892]

^ that thing isn't even of any recognisable use either. I think cros is winning this thread so far.

Not useful? Its a fugging truck.....useful for lots including:

Burning fuel

Driving about

Blocking parking areas

Creating smokescreens

Impressing improper women

Pissing off nosey neighbours

 

AND you can carry stuff.

[Vince70]

Here's a guide to buying a rotten car:

 

Firstly, make sure you choose something not known for perseverance in the face of oxidisation. Something that is usually found to be a bit crispy, perhaps when even your nan's fishmonger knows that "they all rust there" because they probably came like that from the factory.

Second step - when scanning the eBay advert, look around the pictures. Not at the car, but the surroundings. You're looking for long grass, and other cars in poor states of repairs. The grass will help make sure the rust hits all those pesky bits that haven't been splashed in salt water, what with the car not being driven around, and the other cars will give you a feel for the previous owner's mechanical ability.

 

So it's looking good so far. Don't be hasty though, you need to make sure there's no time to look at the car before wanging a bid on. Looking before you bid spoils the surprises, and could even tempt you into walking away. Stay strong.

 

Now here's a winners trick. What stands up to years of neglect better - painted metal, or some flimsy cloth? Yeah, that's right. You can immediately increase your chances of success by choosing a floppytop, and if you want to be sure just limit the ebay results to areas that you know have more TWOCers than Blackbird Leys in the 1990s. Because what good is a cabriolet roof if it's not got a couple of 18" slash marks in it? How on earth do you think you get footwell puddles, through sheer good luck?

 

 

So it was this process that led me to be the owner of a stolen recovered Astra GTE ragtop, that had been dumped in a field in Ashbourne over the winter. Finding it on eBay two hours before auction end with no bids, thinking I'd got a bargain - no, sometimes people don't bid for a reason. No sills, a bulkhead that made Andrex look structural, smashed locks and steering column, kippered brakes and all the rubber things that once were, were no longer.

 

 

Actually, looks nice there. It wasn't. There's a mossy tidemark on the block paving for a reason, because that thing was going nowhere without the words "hiab" and "£200 COLLECT 2NITE M8" being used.

Plus it looks like the previous owner has done the old trick of putting the car on a free Northern Irish number plate so it basically gets rid of the 35 previous owners that were on the logbook and makes it that bit harder tracing any history.

I think the plate comes from the Ballycastle N/w area if it was an original plate.

 

But I still want it especially if it has that lovely 80s knight rider digital dash.

[alf892]

Alf, you've sussed me. Its a proper minge-magnet. Winguard 'Sahara' heater and diesel filters in the footwell, I have to fight em off.

Yes.....was speaking from experience of owning old stuff..........I find mine attracts the wrong wort of woman.

 

Old feckers!