Swop 4 x box plus £3.76?

[sierraman]

What funny oddballs have people had on ebay? I use ebay quite regular and I always end up with no end of people going "mite cum at wkend, just send me your address" sort of people. What are your funniest stories of timewasters on Ebay?

[mercrocker]

My best excuse for non-payment was along these lines (to be read in County Wexford accent)

 

"Sorry I haven't paid, its because the garda arrested me for sleeping in me van even though I wasn't and somebody had lied.   Me little van hasn't moved since the exhaust broke off so it couldn't have been me"

 

I forget what it was I sold him but nothing to do with vans, exhausts or bedding......

[oldcars]

On gumtree had a few, just the normal texts "WUD U TK 200??"

Best one was when selling a HTC mobile. "WUD U SWAP FIESTA?"

Not sure if it was a car or a mag he was offering,  but it was a no either way.

[sporty-shite]

Back in the good* old days of Loot, I advertised some old crock I was struggling to shift, and offered "Part Ex WHY?"

 

Someone phoned and offered me a washing machine.

 

That one's never been beaten.

[Bren]

Somebody who communicates, turns up and time and pays without kicking tyres is an oddball.

[scruff]

Not ebay but when I was working at Withams I had some weird offers. Mainly people wanting deals on Land Rovers but there was one bloke genuinely looking to trade in his 200,000 mile 04 plate Passat for one of these. He was quite insistant that we (selling for the MoD) were getting the better deal on this. 

 

 

Plus loads of Africans offering deals like, "Send me tank I fill container with scrap as payment"

 

[Junkman]

I don't find those time wasters the least bit funny. They are annoying and cost me a lot of money.

Purely due to those idiots, I see myself forced to no longer use Ebay as a sales tool.

 

I had two Ebay accounts - one just for buying, which I still have, and one just for selling, which I had to close because of such a wanker.

 

I literally rescued a Mercury Cougar from the scrappy. The car needed a complete restoration, but was not beyond hope, in fact, I had it MoTed to prove that point.

In my description, I mentioned that the car is a scrapyard rescue, requires a full resto, has an overheating problem, and can't be driven more than a couple of miles,

thus needs to be transported, if its destination is further away.

 

It was bid to a consequently measly 800 odd quid, which was short of my expectation, but I ultimately thought it was fair enough, all things considered.

The buyer and a friend showed up with just a car, which I found odd, considering they came from quite a distance away.

They then checked the car over. After this, they asked for the way to the next cash machine, because they weren't able to withdraw the full amount the day before.

Fair enough I thought, explained the way, and they took off never to be seen again.

The next thing was that I received devastating negative feedback for misrepresenting the car.

I then "second chance" offered it at a great loss and closed the account.

 

Before that, I had the usual array of clowns that seemingly inevitably creep out of their holes for each and every auction.

I had a taste of the full spectrum. From Oriental rugs and grandma's golden teeth, to shipping requests to Ghana, or showing up with 8 buddies giving me first the bazaar treatment, then threatening me, you name it, I had it. Western Union money transfers available on request.

The usual array of no shows and Ihadnoideaitisthisfaraways were the more harmless shapings, but nonetheless bothersome and expensive.

[cort16]

The ebay thing is more annoying as it wastes time and money. I still think that on higher value items ebay should make you put down a deposit of say £25 before you're allowed to bid, which is held in limbo. If the deal falls through and the buyer is a no show the seller gets the money otherwise the buyer gets it back.

It would stop the wankers bidding as they'd have to actually pay money to be a wanker therefore they wouldn't do it.

 

I once did actually swap a Sierra for £100 and a Playstation. I got the better end of the deal.

[Bren]

Not an ebay sale but my mate was flogging a sierra estate - one guy offered money and tokens from a fruit machine.

[mercrocker]

Probably the same geezer who bought a Mk 1 Granny estate from me with a carrier bag full of 50pences.   Liked to have seen his leckky meter...

[sierraman]

I find the most annoying are those who turn up and start negotiating a new price. Or those that come up with ludicrous excuses last minute.

[Ghosty]

Back up in Manchester I once tried to sell a guitar on eBay - collection only. The most interest I got was from what seemed to be a young lad on his dad's account in Telford that wanted to swap some bike for it, so for some reason I decided to entertain it as the bike seemed half decent and I could probably sell it on for how much money I wanted - I think I was slightly over-valuing the guitar on eBay so as to incite offers for the amount I actually wanted (it's worked for bikes before - put one up at £140ish when I only wanted £120, and got offered £120 - sold).

I asked if he'd be willing to meet me halfway, eg Crewe or somewhere, but he suggested somewhere around Shrewsbury in order to swap? Fuck off, that's like a £25 train ticket. When I started to point out they were being unfair and whatnot, they got all defensive and fucked off sharpish.

I hate those kind of people. Thankfully 9 times out of 10, I have no trouble with eBay sales.

[Doctormop]

Many moons ago I advertised an X registered Metro 1.0 in the local rag for 450 or nearest offer and got a phonecall as soon as the paper went on sale asking if I'd do a swap in half an hour for a full sovereign ring worth 800.

I said no as it wasn't really my style, phone goes dead. I went to the newsagents to buy the paper my advert was in and was asked if I had heard about the armed raid on the jewellers 3 miles away that happened 2 hours previously, what a coincidence!

The other thing I miss about trying to sell sub 500 quid motors is the amount of would be purchasers who work for the police, point out all the illegal faults on your car but still want to buy it anyway, albeit at a vastly reduced price.

[maxpower]

When i sold civic on ebay, guys turn up and want a discount because they had travelled down from leeds

 

told them in a broad scottish accent that when i travelled down from scotland to live here nobody gave me my fare back..

[jakebullet]

Only real time wasters are when having to unload yet another car idiot sister has wrecked. The what's the lowest you'll take tossers / foreigns who you know are just going to turn up and try to hammer you down from that price.

 

I've got one at the minute though who's just not getting it. Will I "do him a deal" and take £2.50 for 2 pairs of valve caps. Er, they're £2.25 for a set of 4, buy that you fool. He's asked about 4 times now, I'm going to end up taking the £2.50.

[Largactil]

Flogged my modern on eBay classified last month - Buyer turned up, haggled a little discount, paid in cash (which my old dear counted / verified for me, as she was a bank teller for 30+ years) and buggered off. Painless.

 

Interestingly, the scores on the doors were:

 

Autotrader - £46.95 for 3 weeks on the website - 200 views - No enquires

 

Scumtree - £Free - 314 views - Two enquires (x1 time waster / x1 'swap for my 3 years older & double the mileage Golf GTi?')

 

Marque forum - £2 - One enquiry (wanted to buy the Recaro seats from it)

 

Pistonheads - £Free (been a member for ages) - 6 enquires (x2 scammers, x3 timewasters / 'experts', x1 after it had sold) 

 

eBay Classifieds - £14.99 - 980 views / 50 watchers - 7 enquiries - x3 offers, x1 eventual sale for what I wanted for it

 

Autotrader was always my default choice when flogging a car - Probably won't be now...

[sporty-shite]

I've just had a message through ebay about the 306.

 

Hi there would u swap for items let me no cheers and thanks for your time my number if it's easier for u 07********* Adam cheers also I have 2. Undated 20p I may do a deal with that are very collectable are valuable

 

 The items in question were a cheap e-reader and a TV set.

 

Fucks sake.

[Bren]

I've just had a message through ebay about the 306.

 

 

 The items in question were a cheap e-reader and a TV set.

 

Fucks sake.

FFS snap his hand off!

[sporty-shite]

FFS snap his hand off!

DOES NOT LIKE.

[Pillock]

Undated 20p coins? Two of them? That's 40p right there!!

 

My mate tried to sell an undated 20p coin (they moved the date from one side to the other, and mistakenly printed a load with one new side and one old, so no date). He got 99p for it, minus recorded postage which he'd generously lobbed in for free, minus a jiffy bag gave a net loss of about two quid.