Autoshite cliches, myths and old wives tales...

[barefoot]

I "believe" that I have a bit carbon fibre from Micheal Schumachers Ferrari in which he broke his leg at Silverstone. I hope I am not a complete knob as I would never claim it as fact and realise it sounds unlikely.

 

Michael Schumacher was actually un injured after the crash at Silverstone.

Allegedly it was my mate, Diesel Dave who was marshalling that day.

He was first bloke on the scene and in his excitement dropped his fire extinguisher causing the injury.

 

This is true.

Dave told me.

[simmo]

One of my lecturers, when I was on day release, previously worked at Ford and he claimed to of come up with winter / summer swivelling air filter nozzle.

 

I supect he was a bit of a Walter Mitty charactor, he reckoned in the sixties Ford were trying to get the industry to adopt oil Cooling systems, that is instead of water.

 

Another one of his was the Essex V4 was a victem of its own sucesss, it produced 17% more power than expected and the head gaskets couldn't cope.

[brickwall]

 

[Stroller133]

What I do know is that the carbon fibre piece I have came from MIRA when my dad started working there.

[Stroller133]

Although why a shower company had parts of an F1 car is beyond me?

[morris_ital_lover]

Speaking of F1, I've lost count of how many times people have informed me that McLaren make F1 cars and push chairs... I'm sure MacLaren like the confusion though.

[Richard]

My wife has just mentioned with the theory of the hose on your fuel gauge symbol being on the same side as the filler. Is this true or is it just a coincidence?

[hairnet]

plus 3 electric cars, anybody seen a Fluence ZE on the on the road yet?

seen fluences but theyre all diesels (in ireland anyway)

[Albert Ross]

Fuel gauge thing is utter bollocks. Try it with a Mk2 Cortina.

[Pillock]

Yeah, I saw they did the petrol symbol thing in the Daily Mail or something, and then instantly the entire internet proved it wrong. The petrol flap ends up on whatever side is easiest, usually down to manufacturer habit. The symbol gets put wherever it looks best.

 

Neither of these prevent stupid people failing to realise the hose will reach either side of your car at the pumps.

[Lacquer Peel]

My wife has just mentioned with the theory of the hose on your fuel gauge symbol being on the same side as the filler. Is this true or is it just a coincidence?

 

I think it's true for a lot of cars.

 

There's a lot of reason to fuel filler location - on the Kangoos we have at work, the fuel filler is on the left hand side unlike Renault's cars, presumably to make it easier for the left-hand side commercial driver to fill up.

 

I wonder if old Volvos have the fuel filler on the left hand side as a legacy of Sweden driving on the left.

[Albert Ross]

The Threepenny bit on the engine was Rover with the IOEV 6 cylinder used in the P3/4/5 and Land Rovers. Alllegedly.

[Albert Ross]

My fuel filler on one of my Land Rovers is externally mounted just behind the door. It's one side only. The other two have underseat fillers, so I could open either door and fill both tanks up on each of them. I do get funny looks doing that though, as if I am pouring 70 quids worth of fuel into my floor. I used to get the pump stopped.... by idiot attendants. Who also tried to prevent me filling real metal jerry cans, because they weren't stickered up. One said AVGAS, the other was summat else. I told them plainly, if the Army use them, then so do I.

[Junkman]

The Army also uses guns. But every time I do it the griping starts.

[saucedoctor]

My Jaaaag has a little arrow head on the fuel gauge to show which side the cap is on. Not that I'm likely to forget, with the rate that thing goes through fuel. Modern Hondas have the same arrangement.

[inconsistant]

The xjs was less successful than the e type

[martc]

This petrol cap positioning busineess - it stems from the good old days of road side filling stations - on the left in the UK and Japan, which is where we find the filler, on the right on the continent. Many Korean cars have the filler on the left as most of their car builders where initially influenced by the UK or Japan.

 

Similar reasoning for indicator stalks, with the stalk on the right you can change gear at the same time as indicating in a right hand drive car - again see UK, Japanese and Korean cars of yore.

 

And the reason why radio volume knobs are usually on the left - easy access for left hand drive cars.

 

And many modern cars do have the little filler arrow, the hosepipe thing is nonsense.

[Richard]

I had a feeling it was bollocks, it does seem to work more often than not though.

[Junkman]

I quite like the concept of having the filler behind the rear number plate, like it was customary for yanks for a while.

It just doesn't matter which side of the pump you pull up.

Same goes for the old Brits with the petrol filler in the decker panel, but they have the disadvantage that if there is petrol spillage, it ruins the paint and runs into the boot.

[inconsistant]

 

We had a 2004 Mini for about 4 years and it was only weeks before we got rid of it that it dawned on us that the arrow on the petrol pump was a reminder that the filler was on the passenger side.  I think we had sort of interpreted the pump/arrow symbol to mean something like 'petrol to make you go'. 

[Junkman]

We had a 2004 Mini [...] and [...] we got rid of it...

 

Good man.

[inconsistant]

It was my wife's company car, she was supposed to have it for about 18months but she refused to give it back because they were going to replace it with a Clio or something. She did a lot of motorway miles & she loved it. They do seem to polarise opinion though.

 

Also, the reg no was JJZ which made me happy.

[Bobthebeard]

This thread reminds me of a guy I used to work with. He was known as Urko, as he had more than a passing resemblance to the character on Planet Of The Apes. Real name was Stuart.

He came up with some real corkers.

 

A Rover V8 uses so much petrol that if you leave it ticking over at the petrol pump you can only just put enough in to keep it running as it uses petrol faster than you can put it in.

 

If you got a drink driving ban, it only banned you from driving in the town where you got pulled over.

 

If you want a Personal Number Plate all you have to do is get one made up at the local motor factors then just put it on your car.

 

A Marina would do 60 in reverse as the reverse gear had no synchromesh.

 

Eating earthworms made you invincible and prolonged your life. ( Not car related )

 

If you are lying in some mud and get run over by a tank you will survive.

 

If you are attacked by a shark just hit it on the nose.....

 

Was a total goon.... Wonder what happened to him?

[Junkman]

He got pulled over doing 60 completely pissed in reverse with a Marina with self-made numberplates in Leeds while his license was still suspended because he was pulled over driving pissed in Bradford?

[alf892]

Probably personally disproved his tank or shark theories?

[dugong]

Mobile phones are not completely pointless. They can do some stuff that's handy (translator joke). 

[inconsistant]

He got pulled over doing 60 completely pissed in reverse with a Marina with self-made numberplates in Leeds while his license was still suspended because he was pulled over driving pissed in Bradford?

 

Run over while eating worms in a muddy field by a shark driving a Rover V8 powered tank?

[Bobthebeard]

He got pulled over doing 60 completely pissed in reverse with a Marina with self-made numberplates in Leeds while his license was still suspended because he was pulled over driving pissed in Bradford?

Possibly.

He was/is a proper old school barmpot. He used to bet people that he would beat them at a 'testicle squeezing contest' FFS! I never took him on, but some guys did. Lunatic

[dugong]

Another thing I won't admit easily:

 

BINI Mk1s are actually great to drive. The Ones are gutless, the Cooper is nearly fast enough, (but not quite) and the Cooper S \ Cooper S Works are a riot. I still hate how they look, but I couldn't fault how they drove other than that stupid skriking electric motor in the power steering. Full lock? MEEHHHHHRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNN. Left hand down? MEEEHRRRNNNNNNNNNNN. 

Pity the interior's rather Fisher Price 'My First Car' and it's larger than a contemporary Fiesta. A shame really, because they're far too good for estate agents. I'd never own one, but if I was lent one for whatever reason I'd drive the nuts off it. 
 

[Jim Bergerac]

A mate had an 05 Cooper S. First time I had a go in it on billiard smooth Spanish roads I thought it was terrific and wondered why he despised it. Then I had a go on the roads near where he lived and found it to be the worst riding car I'd ever experienced.