Joe's "Merde" - more pics from another shiter

[KruJoe]

Following the success of my asking for help finding a nice R8, and you lot (Billy) coming up trumps, I thought I'd try it again.

I'm after a fresh project, either just hanging on to road-worthiness, or within a few days (or weeks in my case) work of an MOT. I can weld (a bit), am not scared of mechanical stuff, but fuggin hate fixing brakes and sorting emissions. I'm crap at beautification.

 

My new shite must be:

-at least 20 years old

-under £500, less if I have to pay Shiply fees

 

And preferably:

-hatchback, estate, or at least a bit practical

-not a complete gas guzzler

-sub 1549cc for mingebag RFL

-slightly unusual

-located in Northern England

 

Would be a bonus if

-it's mega cheap

-is 4WD/AWD

-has a removable roof

 

[i reserve the right to edit or add to these criteria at any time.]

 

I just missed out on this, which ticked almost all the boxes:

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/TOYOTA-TERCEL ... 0862138808

 

Just a few patches away from a test.

I was third highest bidder at £430, but it was gonna cost to bring it north, so that was the end of that. Shame.

 

I'd 'do' any of the following if they were cheap enough:

Tercel, as above, or a Corolla 4x4

Allegro estate in some shitty earthy colour

A40 Farina Countryman

ADO16 Countryman

Subaru GLF 3dr hatchback

Sumo van

Maz 323, rwd or 4x4

Dyane

(I'm dreaming if I only have £500 with some of these!)

There may be others.

 

Would consider:

Maestro, beige or brown, 1.3, plastic bumpers

Horizon

Visa

Ital estate

Mk3 Escrot, pref shitty colour estate

Panda with big twin sunroofs and/or 4x4

Reliant Kitten/Fox

MR2, pref early mk2, t-bar, bright turquoise

maybe even an MX5

drop top 205

Sierra 1.3, or a V6 4x4

Cav mk3 hatch, 1.4, or 2.0 8valve (middle range doesn't appeal)

Early Volvo 850 estate (it's big but I've a shed full of spares)

...or anyshite else you think fits the bill.

There may be others.

 

I like the idea of an Ambassador (Y-reg), or an early Legacy wagon, but they're a bit big.

I'm also not a fan of tall 4x4s.

 

Yes, I'm open to suggestions other models to look out for, but more helpful would be links to something for sale.

So knock yourself out (when you're done ROFLing at my perversions/expectations).

Ta muchly.

[autofive]

Sierra V6 4x4 for under a monkey?

 

 

gotta love your optimism

[KruJoe]

Like I said, I might be dreaming for some on that list!

TBH I haven't been watching Sierra prices lately. Are they firming up now? 10 years ago they were pretty cheap IIRC.

[Ben_L]

Like I said, I might be dreaming for some on that list!

TBH I haven't been watching Sierra prices lately. Are they firming up now? 10 years ago they were pretty cheap IIRC.

 

I remember 10 years ago a Maestro was £70-80, a Cavalier maybe £130-150 and something really special like a Granny Scorpio might be £300!!!

[Guest]

http://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C370279

[KruJoe]

 

That's nice. Probably too nice for me - I'm sure it'll sell for a four-figure sum.

Also it's a saloon.

[dollywobbler]

If you want a tatty Sierra 4x4 V6, I think under a grand is possible, but £500 might be a struggle. Prices are definitely firming up but are thankfully some way from Cossie silliness.

[SambaS]

http://autoshite.commlm/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=13300&start=225

 

Both tick some of the boxes, but you wouldn't regret a single second of either

 

Not on a sunny day with the top down, or in the case of the red one. Removed

[KruJoe]

I wouldn't kick a soft top Samba out of bed for sure, Edd.

I'm sure they're fun, but you've already got them well represented on Autoshite, and I wouldn't want to compete with your Samba saving exploits!

[SambaS]

Waaah, I cant save them all on my own So many other cars on my wantlist, I dont even own a Tagora yet, or a Lonsdale

[whitevanman]

I can do you a 1.8 Sapphire with lacquer peel for that money....

[KruJoe]

Thank you, but I'd much prefer a hatch or estate. Currently watching this:

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/321084767082

 

Should I be afraid of this?

OIL LIGHT ON SUSPECT OIL PUMP GONE OR BLOCKED ENGINE OK.

 

Not sure why, but this isn't exciting me like the Tercel.

[whitevanman]

yes....oil warning lights spell DOOM ...........

[KruJoe]

Thanks! You saved me from that one. Next this big lump:

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/221197927002

 

Looks alright for the money, despite the Dave_Station style gaffa tape wings.

What's it like to do a clutch on a V6 Quattro?

[Guest Tony Hayers]

Not wanting to sound like a big cock/mentalist/mouthbreather/fishwife/moaner but I could SWEAR that the Sierra noted above has been listed on titbay before Like 2 years ago or somesuch, that ad looks so familiar. And there are going to be loads of White Mk1 Sierra 4X4 estates with a knackered oil pump floating around.

 

Anyone else recall it? Or is it time for the house on the hill.

 

Oh yeah, just incase you missed it, the drivers window is stuck open. Lovely.

[Ben_L]

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1992-CAVALIER-1-4L-YEARS-MOT-40-000-MILES-1-ELDERLY-OWNER-C-L-E-W-S-R-/281072665457?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item41713c8371

 

Shite-Spec winner!

Apparently the 1.4 Cavalier's are still rather able bodied for most tasks due to the lack of bolt on tat that weighed down the later models... My 1.6 only just tipped the scales at a tonne, bare in mind that had an ECU and sensors etc, a boot full of shite and a spare wheel well full of rubble!

 

These 1.4's a true old style with no ECU or anything... And if it need a Cambelt? It's a £100 job, and a clutch even cheaper. So so simple and rather rewarding until it rains and you find a roundabout!

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Jesus that Cavalier is MEGA!!!!!! Good job i am absolutley 100% flat broke as a muthafucka.

[KruJoe]

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/281072665457

Shite-Spec winner!

WTF!!!

I've been looking literally months for a 1.4!

 

 

That's the best bet so far!

Does anyone know what might be bent at the back end?

And how low should I bid, do ya reckon?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well I never. A Cav 1.4. I'm gonna have a long, hard think about that today...

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I wouldn’t make a bid, I’d ring him up and see what the sketch is. I’m fairly sure those bumpers have just got a metal beam in which you can take out and hammer straight, used to see loads with light banana-ing to the rear bumper like that.

[M'coli]

Well I never. A Cav 1.4. I'm gonna have a long, hard think about that today...

Get it bought, man! Then I'll pop up with the 1.3 and we can do a shite-spec mk2-mk3 joint roadtest for the Autoshite masses.

[Cavcraft]

I think Reginald Bollarco is correct. The Mk2s certainly had a metal bar behind the plastic trim and some bashing should sort it.

It doesn't looked to have touched the boot and the panel gaps look ok so I can't see it being much damage. Anyhow, it's brilliant so just buy it and make some of us jealous!

[KruJoe]

That does ring a bell, it's like a bent-over U-shaped pressed steel beam, with holes punched out, right?

 

Anyway, it doesn't matter. My long hard think did not come to a happy ending for the Cav lovers. This one, despite being the ultimate spec for me, it just too good. All the work has been done, so it would put the shite fund well into the red, especially after going so far to get it. I just couldn't justify it only weeks after taking on the R8; they'd do exactly the same job. I realised despite it's credentials, I wanted something a bit more unusual (from what I've had before), some thing more 'fun', not another old, white, shite hatchback. It would be my third this year.

 

Let the dissension begin.

 

However, this evening I can announce the winner is...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I only found it 30 mins before it ended this evening. I failed to talk to the seller before bidding closed, but caught him on a bad line just after.

 

 

Hopefully it's as honest as it seems to be. Looks original and un-messed-with, if a little neglected.

 

 

With seven months MOT, I reckon it's ok for £450. Should clean up nicely.

 

 

It's a few Dales away on Edd's manor. Collection planned for Friday.

[SambaS]

Leyburn? Looks nice that Joe

[John F]

That looks ace for £450, Joe.

 

Does it need anything doing to it imminently?

[KruJoe]

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/TOYOTA-MR2-1990-/321087230122

Linky link ^

 

Bedale actually, not far away.

Well Edd, the "Merde" has potential to look nice. I'm gonna have to learn some beautification techniques. As those who've had the pleasure* of meeting my BX or Samara will know, I have precious little skill or inclination in that direction. Must try harder.

 

Thanks John!

The description in full:

Toyota MR 2 1990 in good running order, drives well, tested until October 2013

A few marks on the paintwork but sound bodywork

I suspect it'll want a quick clean and service, and see where we are from there. Quite excited actually.

[skattrd]

Nice one Joe, I do like these, I've driven a couple and when set up right they do handle very well, and the back end can be made to step out on occasion

That one looks like an import to me (dodgy fog light placement) so may have a few extras fitted.

[face]

I want to own one of these at some point, ever since a chap at work got a brand new one when they first came out.

 

Agreed, pretty sure that's an import.

[Lacquer Peel]

The number plate recess gives its grey import status away. Looks pretty good for £450, I didn't realise these are so cheap.

 

I'd like to try something mid-engined, but I'd probably drive it backwards into a peat bog.

[dollywobbler]

Very interesting buy. They are dirt cheap at the moment and were firmly on my radar before I bought the Merc. Until I remembered that I don't really like sports cars. Pretty good reputation bar the usual rot.

[KruJoe]

So, collection day is here!

 

 

Will gave us a (hair-raising) lift across The Dales to Wensleydale in the Samara.

 

 

The seller was such a top bloke. He met us at his workshop, handed over the car keys, and let us loose around his place for 20 minutes while he loaded an old Rover P5 onto a trailer! Here's what we found:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let's take a look inside...

 

 

Whehey!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What do you make of that lot then, eh?

 

More pics when P-bucket gets its shit together...