One Car Too Far

[AeroNautiCal]

This looks to be utter bollock!

 

Discovery, Dragonfly go “One Car Too Farâ€Â

 

 

 

 

Discovery Networks International is revving up One Car Too Far, a series from Shine Group prodco Dragonfly that aims to combine the automotive and survival genres of factual entertainment.

 

The five-parter will feature a former British Special Forces operative and an American car enthusiast, dropped into remote foreign landscapes and forced to survive by their wits and their wheels – in this case, a small red car.

 

Viewers will see the presenters pilot the car through such treacherous terrain as mountain tops and rainforests, and engage in such bizarre roadside repair techniques as using a raw egg to seal a radiator crack.

 

The series will premiere on Discovery Channel in 210 countries across Europe, the Middle East, Africa, Asia-Pacific and Latin America this summer, and then in the U.S. in the fall.

 

“Audiences across the globe thrive on the ‘Will they or won’t they make it’ drama of survival programs and are captivated by the practical nature of car shows,†said Sarah T. Davies, vice president of development, factual programming for Discovery Networks International. “One Car Too Far combines these two genres like never before to create a truly unique concept that offers a real sense of fun.â€Â

 

“We’ve found two new, very exciting presenters who are the key to the show: authentic, authoritative, tough, and very, very funny,†added Sanjay Singhal, managing director for Dragonfly.

 

Read more: http://realscreen.com/2012/03/22/discov ... z217EpJbkV

[CreepingJesus]

...Audiences across the globe thrive on the ‘Will they or won’t they make it’ drama of survival programs and are captivated by the practical nature of car shows...

 

Firstly, of course they'll fucking make it. No way on earth would they shoot a show like this in anything less than controlled circumstances, 'cos they're not going to get the ad revenue from fatal accident footage. Altho', having said that, these sort of corporate whores are brazen enough to try it.

Secondly - 'practical nature of car shows'? Why isn't 'How To Set The Points On An Allegro' an intenational hit then? Or '101 Totally Individual And Original Things To Do With A VW Polo And A Can Of Nitromors'.

These people get paid for this I am defifuckingnetteley in the wrong job.

[Mr Lobster]

Friggin' Nora. That sounds like a right load of highly contrived bollocks doesn't it. Theres a reason I don't watch much tv thesedays...

[idiotboy]

This looks to be utter bollock!

 

Discovery, Dragonfly go “One Car Too Farâ€Â

 

 

 

 

Discovery Networks International is revving up One Car Too Far, a series from Shine Group prodco Dragonfly that aims to combine the automotive and survival genres of factual entertainment.

 

The five-parter will blah blah blah blah ...

 

“We’ve found two new, very exciting presenters who are the key to the show: authentic, authoritative, tough, and very, very funny,†added Sanjay Singhal, managing director for Dragonfly.

 

Read more: http://realscreen.com/2012/03/22/discov ... z217EpJbkV

 

Sorry but I get enough excitement keeping a 35 year old British built heap of shite roadworthy in the hostile environment of....

 

The Home Counties.

 

In tonight's episode....

We've a desperate situation as we've run out of milk, but the Allegro's front indicator has filled up with rainwater again and the rear mud flap is falling off, can we make enough makeshift repairs to reach the Tescos express in Little Chalfont before they close?

 

Beri has adjusted the seat to fit her short legs....Matt is 6 inches taller and can't fit in the drivers seat, but Beri is wearing the wrong shoes find out what happens next after the break.

5 mins of adverts for shite you don't need mostly made up of commercials filmed in sun drenched Portuguese City centres over dubbed to seem like Birmingham, featuring cherry faced smiling Kids, and hip airbrushed grown ups that you all just want to spank with a length of 2 by 4.

 

Fade up part two.

Earlier in tonight's episode we faced some major challenges, Matt and Beri have run out of Milk and they have to get their ailing 35 year old car all the way to Little Chalfont and back a distance of nearly 5 miles. They have some major challenges ahead.

 

"Well as you can see the Allegro's front indicator unit has filled up with rainwater. This could cause a major short circuit and the car could explode had I not noticed this before starting the car"

"OMG, that was lucky! How are you going to fix it Matt?"

"Well I've got this screwdriver and I'm going to attempt to replace the lens. But all this could fail if the screws are seized"

"OMG, what will you do then?"

"Well I just don't know. It could be game over and we can't get the milk. So I'm going to give it a try..."

Camera focusses in on Matt slowly unscrewing the lens.

 

After the break, Can Matt get the water out of the indicator? How is the mud flap going to be fixed and how are they going to drive it. Matt's too tall and Beri is wearing the wrong shoes....

 

Delete another 5 minutes of your life with more shite ads.

 

Part 3

Welcome back. Matt is now really against the clock, Tesco's express shuts in an hour and they must get milk. The Allegro is undergoing major surgery to an indicator.

 

"Well I've managed to free the stiff screws and the water is out!"

"OMG well done that must have been quite a challenge?"

"Yes, there were a couple of hairy moments there but I've fitted the new lens and used copperslip to ensure that the screws will not stick again."

"Wow good thinking, now what can you do about that mud flap?"

"Well good news here its just a lose clamp so we can tighten this now...there easy "

 

Now that the light and mud flap are secure, lets get the milk but how can they drive there? The seat is set for Beri and Matt is too tall , Beri has the wrong shoes Back to Matt.

 

"Well its not as bad as its sounds. The Allegro has this lever here that enables you to adjust the seat. If I lift it like this and push back on the seat I can get into the correct driving position"

"OMG wow that's high tech"

"Yes not bad for a car that's nearly 40 years old!"

 

After the break can now that they have the seat, indicator and mud flap fixed can they get the milk...

 

Delete another five minutes of your life...

 

Welcome back to the home Counties

Tonight Matt and Beri have got to get some milk before Tesco express closes, but they've had to meet some major challenges Water in the indicator , A lose mud flap , adjust the driver's seat and the wrong shoes .

Cut to shot of Matt and Beri in the Allegro.

"Now if I haven't got all the water out we could have a major issue"

"Well there we are, no problems so lets get the milk"

 

Next time on The Home Counties

"Ok Beri we've got the milk lets get home"

"OMG Beri what is that squeaking noise? I'm going to have to stop"

 

 

etc etc etc.

 

Welcome to the 21st Century. Don't you just hate it and you know what I wrote above isn't really that far from the truth of the shite that appears on our screens evey night. This is why I'm going to tear up my TV licence bin the telly and in the words of "Why Don't you" going and do something fun instead.

[ashmicro]

Quality!

[rml2345]

Unfortunately what you've written is far more gripping than 99% of the contrived bollocks on the Electric fish tank...

I can't wait for the next episode of The Home Counties

[trigger]

I'd actually pay money to watch that!

[idiotboy]

Planning to bring the foxy Potato to Lincoln tomorrow as I've bought a Ukuele by mistake (drunken gumtree purchase) so if any fellow shitests see it in Lincoln give us a wave. Got plenty more Home counties episodes in my head.

[Micrashed]

Idiotboy and his Uke singing about fixing his Allegro and when teh song is finished the car magically starts - sounds like a winning Telly prog.

[maximalist]

[chaseracer]

Idiotboy and his Uke singing about fixing his Allegro and when teh song is finished the car magically starts - sounds like a winning Telly prog.

OMG!!!!1!

 

The resemblance - it's uncanny...!

[Justin Case]

“Audiences across the globe thrive on the ‘Will they or won’t they make it’ drama of survival programs and are captivated by the practical nature of car shows,†said Sarah T. Davies, vice president of spouting complete bollox for Discovery Networks International. “One Car Too Far combines these two genres like Top Gear has done so many times before to create a tired and stale concept that offers a false sense of something actually happening.â€Â

 

EFA

[HillmanImp]

That is kwalatee and as you say almost bob on the money for the shit that is normally on any documentary that is not on BBC 1 or 2.

[idiotboy]

Idiotboy and his Uke singing about fixing his Allegro and when teh song is finished the car magically starts - sounds like a winning Telly prog.

OMG!!!!1!

 

The resemblance - it's uncanny...!

 

Lol thanks guys. The Uke was sucessfully acquired in the Car Park of TX Max in Newwark. I handed him an envelope and in return I have a musical instrument. The Allegro proved itself although did managed to snap its speedo cable en route.