Dare I mention....Top Gear....?

[CIH]

oh yeah! Watching period road tests of Renault Megane Coupes and things would be fun for a bit.I find TG mostly contrived nowadays TBH. I like it still, but I frequesntly miss episodes and don't really notice.

[FredTransit]

I still think we should offer Top Shite to the BBC.

[warren t claim]

The problem with a "Top Shite" tv prog is that it would invariably end up being hosted by Mike "BNP" Brewer and Domonic "Combat 18" Littlewood. How these people continue to hold on to Equity cards is totally beyond me.

[FredTransit]

Sod it I'll do it, give VBH a run for her money.

[brammy777]

as much as i love top gear, it has most definitely alienated its original fan base over the past few years.But thats not to say they completely miss the point all the time, its just more slapstick than normal nowadays.But i can tell they are still car enthusiasts, just the people its aimed at generally arent.If shite gear ever did happen, for the love of god dont use third rate music over the top of it, as it turns into a german Discotheq.

[Mr H Sceptre]

Who would be The Stig if we did Shite Gear?Suppose we'd also have to get McQueenMachine involved somehow.....

[Guest]

You really want to get the OLD (88 - 92) Top Gear's off the internet. These aren't available now, but I downloaded them all a while ago. I'll try and get round to putting them all on DVD if anyone wants them if I have time.

Yes please!

[Guest]

In an effort to sort out the inevitable "New" Top Gear vs "Old" Top Gear debate, I decided to compile an Autocar-esque comparison table to resolve the matter once and for all.

 

Unfortunately, it became apparent that I never really used to watch Top Gear in the old days, so I have used a show of a largely similar nature which I am more familiar with. I trust you will find this table both fair and useful.

 

COMPARISON             TOP GEAR (NEW)    FUN HOUSE              WINNERLead Presenter         Jeremy Clarkson   Pat Sharp              Fun HouseModern haircut?        No (trimmed afro) No (mullet)            DrawSupporting Presenters  May/Hammond       Cheerleader twins      Fun HouseMain rival any good?   5th Gear (poor)   Finders Keepers (good) Fun HouseMemorable Theme Tune?  Yes               Yes                    DrawAccompanied by vocals? No                Yes                    Fun HouseVehicle selection?     Wide and varied   Two electric go-karts  Top GearTest Track?            Airfield          Small indoor circuit   Top GearA whole lot of fun?    Sometimes         Yes                    Fun HousePrizes to be won?      Not usually       Yes                    Fun HouseOVERALL SCORE          2/10              6/10

So there we have it, Fun House remains the UK's number one source of entertainment for petrolheads and speed freaks alike. The fact is, as much as Top Gear has a substantially larger budget and varied tasks such as "Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car", it can not compete with the fact that Fun House is both a quiz and a race (simultaneously being a real wacky place). I dearly hope that this fine British motoring institution remains on our screens and in our hearts for years to come.

[pogweasel]

You utter bastard. You made me laugh-snort and now my nose hurts.

[CIH]

Nice one Hirst!

[seth]

Who would be The Stig if we did Shite Gear?

 

Guaranteed slower than a 2CV!

[FredTransit]

Are you volunteering Seth?

[dollywobbler]

Sorry Fred, bit of an in-joke at the cost of a certain Volvo driver there...Surely if Shite Gear is the opposite of Top Gear, the star should be in a fappingly awesome car rather than a shite one? It's already shite!

[Mr H Sceptre]

Some big name star, such as Nick Wilton or Bernie Clifton, putting some shite through its paces on the Shite Gear track:

 

[FredTransit]

Good point about opposites, should it be Star in an Ureasonably priced car?

[Mr Lobster]

So, every week some Z lister drives something from the 'eBay bargains' thread?

[FredTransit]

^That's a quality idea!

[Mr H Sceptre]

Hirst Cabs would obviously ferry the 'stars' to & from their hotel (read static caravan) to the studio (read Longbridge site).

[FredTransit]

I could do the catering, as I often end up doing it on 'budget' shoots.

[vicsmith]

The problem with a "Top Shite" tv prog is that it would invariably end up being hosted by Mike "BNP" Brewer and Domonic "Combat 18" Littlewood. How these people continue to hold on to Equity cards is totally beyond me.

Is this true?

[andrew e]

Our Dom is a bona fida ex trader though - the pitch is still in Hadleigh.

[retrogeezer]

Yeh, he was on the first series of Faking it and taught a vicar how to be a car salesman, it was a great episode.

[Gompo]

The problem with a "Top Shite" tv prog is that it would invariably end up being hosted by Mike "BNP" Brewer and Domonic "Combat 18" Littlewood. How these people continue to hold on to Equity cards is totally beyond me.

Is this true?

If you're on about the BNP/C-18 things then I dont see Brewer here http://wikileaks.org/leak/bnp-membership-list.txt

[Gompo]

I'm starting to find Hammond pretty unbearable. He ought to just stick to doing kids tv or whatever.

He never used to be like that

I've disliked him/his style ever since he did those crappy programs on Men and Motors, was disappointed when I read he was going to be on TG but he could have been worse.To be honest I bet he is a decent bloke, seems to have a good taste in cars - I think he has a Brat? - but has a bit of a TV persona that he has to put on that makes him twatlike..

[Pete-M]

You'd miss Hammond if I managed to wangle his place on TG.Luckily there's fuck all chance of that happening...

[warren t claim]

The problem with a "Top Shite" tv prog is that it would invariably end up being hosted by Mike "BNP" Brewer and Domonic "Combat 18" Littlewood. How these people continue to hold on to Equity cards is totally beyond me.

Is this true?

If you're on about the BNP/C-18 things then I dont see Brewer here http://wikileaks.org/leak/bnp-membership-list.txt

I'm sorry for my somewhat slanderous remarks on a public forum! There was one program about buying property that was hosted by Mr Littlewood where he was dealing with an Asian woman and he did seem a little bit uncomfortable.

[Pete-M]

I think you'll find that TV's clueless cunt Mike Brewer isn't BNP's clueless racist cunt Mike Brewer.

 

Dominic Littlewood? Can't stand him either.

 

is my favourite clip of him in action.

[pompei]

Haha love that clip Wish we could've seen a before and after shot of the nearside of the car ... a very drunken mate of mine did that once in my Mini (my first car) and left a lovely go-faster stripe down the side (I hasten to add that I was designated driver)Damon Hill looks about 17! And he seemed to put no effort whatsover into the driving!

[Richard]

It happened a few times when I was driving taxis. On one memorable journey I was carrying a group of Welsh rugby fans in the 505 6-pack. One of them spent the entire journey spewing out of the window while his mates sang songs, and sang them very well, from Jungle Book. I had to hose down the side of the car after I dropped them off.

[RedSparrow]

Anyone see it last night?I don't know what to think about this show anymore.I was watching last night, thinking how many of the hilarious incidents are staged, yet still finding the show amusing and entertaining. And maybe thats the whole point?