EPIC OMG EXPLORER COLLECTION EXPEDITION! Warning, contains e

[Des]

 

Quarter to three last Friday I'm browsing here when I spot a car freshly posted up for sale, I immediately bagsy it and fire off a message to the vendor, 109landys3. I would appear I've made a shrewd move as quite soon there is speculation buzzing of its value being nearer 20 big ones, too late suckers it's mine. That evening I'm on the phone making arrangements to fetch my prize next morning, and reassured that I'm dealing with a decent chap, no need to worry about such nasties as finding a dead hooker in the boot, then a quick look at the route while I take in the vast magnitude of my chod retrieval trekkage.

 

 

There's a fair chunk of M25 there, and to put me under pressure, I've a haircut booked for 1.00PM, so I make the decision to enlist help, ring me bruv and tell him he's giving me a lift in the morning at 10.

 

Saturday morning and I need to check I've everything I need ready for the mission,

 

 

Looking good.

 

 

Off round me bruvs, dump my car on his drive, (where it can stay until I sort an engine for it) hammer on his door, no answer, I'm frustrated at this poor start to my mega and epic tat fetching adventurage, so I slip the lock and go in to find him sparko, he's been on the sozzle and gone to bed fully clothed, 45 mins of yelling, prodding, farting in his face has him awake and I bundle the fat bastard into the passenger side of his car, I then get to drive the fine turd.

 

 

Luckily I'm blessed with near total shamelessness, when I see 2 blokes in something like that I tend to find them highly comical.

 

The journey goes well, no holdups, it seems the great unwashed are staying at home. I finally ascend on my carpark based prey, 109landys3 is waiting for me in his Maestro and there's what looks like a Lancaster bomber parked in the distance, why aren't all carparks like this?

A cursory look around my new chariot followed by an extensive 5 yard circular testdrive and my details get added to the logbook of this fine black steed.

The return stage of my character building experience proves uneventful, spotted an old Corrola though.

 

 

And noted the speedo exaggerates by 3 MPH.

 

But it's rare for everything in life to go to plan, I missed my haircut.

 

Next day and It's off to Top Secret Location AREA FIDDYWOTEVAH, to explore the Explorer, the timing chains rattle enough to worry me so I check the oil before I set off, there's plenty but looks pretty black, I consider an oil change may help, and then instead throw in a couple of pints of gearoil cos that's how I roll, when I get to AREA FIDDYWOTEVAH it's quietened right down, sounds lovely, even on revving it, can't believe how much better it is. Abandon plans to have a look for the source of the rattle under valvecovers or whatever comes apart easily and instead get busy giving the thing a clean, can't be bothered hoovering so opened all doors and gave it some airline blasting, starting to look good, then sprayed half a bottle of poundshop bike cleaner all over the interior, shut the doors and used the rest of the cleaner to wash the bodywork, took the sponge to the interior, finished with a microfibre cloth and saw good results from little effort, then it's onto the artistic shots.

 

Mean and moody.

 

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

 

30 minute valet, inside and out, my ride be lookin' fine.

 

When I started it up to go home the rattle was back, so will have to have a look sometime soon, maybe a couple of pints of ATF? No bugger it, I better invest in oil and filter, hopefully just a matter of adjusting or hammering a small socket on a tensioner somewhere, so far it seems that with a few jobs it could be a nice car with a fair bit of life left, have to decide quickly how long I'll keep it, if it's for any amount of time then an LPG conversion would be very worthwhile, although for modern stuff like this it means a complex injection setup.

I'm off to Sudbury in it tomorrow to collect an engine for the Rangy, have a month to get it back on the road when Exploder runs out of tax / mot so my Explorationing may be short lived, although an MOT place nearby has started doing no pass no fee tests so I'll pop it in, if it doesn't fail on much it could be an easier option to keep it for the time being.

[trigger]

Off round me bruvs, dump my car on his drive, hammer on his door, no answer.

 

You should have tried hammering a smaller door over it...

 

I was impressed with how cheap this Explorer was myself, I think you got yourself a bit of a bargain there even with the current fuel prices being what they are.

[eddyramrod]

Excellent story there Des, but the usual issue with the pics! All I get is the cartoon frog. OK, I know what an Explorer looks like anyway, and I remember the pics 109 posted, but it would have been GR99 to see yours. Somebody -- anybody! -- please tell me you get this too and it isn't just me...

[trigger]

Works fine for me on Windows 7 Eddy.

[lovejoy]

frogs ? FROGS ??? !! you should consider yourself lucky to get FROGS in Cyprus, Eddy

 

I too was watching this mega -bargain with interest .... oh, and Happy New Year ! ( and yes, the pics look v. good

[eddyramrod]

Frogs are fine in their place. Any place I was expecting to see Ford Explorer collection pics is not that place though! And I'm on XP, which should be good enough... shouldn't it?

 

Happy New Year, Lovejoy!

[CreepingJesus]

Brave man, only four tabs? If it were me, a collection mission would need more like 44...

Still, lovely old things these. I recall the sales manager at a Ford dealers I worked at, bemoaning the slowness and ill-handling of his demo Explorer. The tube had just swapped a V6 Probe for it, and anyway, he rarely drove sober! I found that one a perfectly good barge to sail about in.

Eerily, I spotted one in a scrappy in Dundee a few weeks ago, and filed the find away, wondering when one of these old beasts would be mentioned on AS. Didn't look like there was too much wrong with it, which probly means it's goosed from stem to stern!

Hope you enjoy it, and it serves you well.

[tonedepear]

I adored my Explorer. It was rubbish for all the reasons you'd expect it to be - wallowy and american and massive, but it made a lovely noise and people at work called me Lee Majors for a bit. I'm well jealous.

[254575]

looking good, glad its gone to a good home.

 

genuinely was surplus to requirements, sad to see its gone.

[dollywobbler]

Nice write up, and gorgeous bonus Bristol material!

[Lord Sterling]

Epic purchase man! Seriously, If I had the space I'd have been all over it, I really want something else to try now. Well done, now you can cruise about at ease with your cowboy-boots, 10-gallon hat and Dolly Parton tracks blasting from the radio.

[ashmicro]

Mr Ramrod: Are you using Internet Exploder, sorry Internet Explorer? If not, try it. If you are using IE, check Microsoft Update and make sure you have all of your updates.

[cobblers]

This was MEGACHEAP. Live the life of a pub landlord, on a barmans wages!

 

Picture issue is probably down to running some sort of firewall or proxy that is blocking the "referrer". You're not running Norton internet security or anything as awful as that are you?

[254575]

didnt imageshack used to insist on users from outside US and Europe signing in before they could see images?

create and account, sign in and then refresh the page.

[eddyramrod]

Well, I just tried it on Explorer (appropriately!). Normally I'm on Firefox. Made no difference at all. And no, I don't have Norton on this computer. It's a mystery (/oh it's a mystery/I'm still searching/for a cluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue... )

[Felly Magic]

I can see em clear as a bell, and I'm on Vista using Chrome

[theorganist]

Nice one, my three bosses had three of these from Hamer Ford, Brierley Hill in 1996-97 P940 - 942 JOV IIRC.

 

One of them still has one and uses it for towing his caravan (just checked apparently two of them are still going the other unlicenced from 2007)..

 

I think they had a few teething problems especially the immobiliser working too well!!

 

PS On Windows XP and I can see the photo's perfectly!!

[eddyramrod]

Oh that's right, feed my paranoia! Infamy, infamy... well you know the rest.

[theorganist]

[stuboy]

one of them knobbly tyres and a fun time on a muddy field..