Other Half's Shite Credentials

[eddyramrod]

Mrs R has had some old tat in the past; we've both had Minis, Vivas and Cortinas before we met, she even had an Allegro! She tells me she once had a Renault, but whether it was a 4 or 6, she can't quite remember. So here are some of hers...

She had this Nova when we first met. 1.2, 4-speed box, a real misery spec.

Later was this green estate that she just fell for. We'd gone out shopping for a replacement for the Proton she had (and loved) that was destroyed by a careless driver. A garage in Bootle had a red S40 that looked likely, but right next to it was this Hyundai... I think we bought the right car, this was very good. Until we had the chance of...

...her daughter's Ford Focus Ink. We never quite settled in the Focus, so after only about 4 months we traded it in for the PT Cruiser you've seen previously. Which in turn we traded on her first brand-new car:

No, not the Land Rover! The little Suzuki in front, which was brilliant in every way. We would both have another of those, like a shot.

 

Oh and the X1/9 was nominally hers too, although since we bought it, she hasn't been well enough to drive it. Anyway it's gone now.

 

So, any of your wives/girlfriends/husbands/whatever had any shitey old chod?

[Felly Magic]

Swmbo's first car was a C reg Metro 1.0 L that she paid £40 for. complete with knackered gearbox, but it got her up north twice, and was sadly written off by a hit and run driver whilst it was parked outside her mums.

[lancashireclamper]

No pics Eddy (as usual) but when the bread knife and I first started courting as we called it in those days (prior to 'seeing each other' or 'starting a relationship')she drove a 1985 Mazda 323 that failed its MOT spectacularly and gave way to a 1988 Micra GSX, compared to my 1977 Volvo 244 I was completely out of my depth!!

[eddyramrod]

she drove a 1985 Mazda 323 ... 1988 Micra GSX, compared to my 1977 Volvo 244

 

How spooky! Mrs R's Nova was a 1986 on a C; I had my 78 Volvo 244 at the time!

[eddyramrod]

...Which all reminds me... when my little sis (2 years, 4 months and 12 days...) started driving in the late 80s, she had a range of suitably shitey cars too. 1975 Imp (in Wardance), 1982 Lada 1200 (RTB 56Y; our parents later had a 1500 estate in the same blue, RTB 52Y!), 1983 Charade, 1986 Maestro 1.3. After these I started to lose track, as she moved to Chester. I believe there was a series of Metro/Rover 100s, and the last thing I saw her with was a 206. Which, IIRC, she bought new.

 

Shite runs in the family!

[504GL]

Wife has rather good shite history. She's had a Viva, 2CV, a few Polo's, a Mk5 Escort, a Hillman Minx and probably a few others I can't remember

[Wilko220]

Mine doesn't drive

[messerschmitt owner]

swmbo learned to drive on a Willys Jeep from 1942, went from there to a Vauxhall Wyvern, then a series of Skoda Estelles and Ladas before two PA Crestas, Bedford CA Dormobile, and three fiat 126s then two Punto cabriolets and now has a Fiat 126 and a Punto Cabriolet still.

 

Shit or shite, you decide!

[dollywobbler]

When I met the lady who is now my wife, she owned this much neglected Citroen AX.

 

T'was a 954cc, 4-speed Jive special edition. The bumper was bent where she drove it into a ditch, and the headlamps would fall out if she went over a big bump. The heater control illumination had fallen down and when I pointed out that this was why the passenger footwell lit up at night, she was surprised. It had some wheeltrims and she once drove it over a mile with a completely destroyed rear tyre because she didn't want to stop on the motorway. (!) It regularly had not enough oil in it, had clocked up well over 100,000 miles and would regularly be thrashed down the M40 at motorway speeds. Once in third gear because she forgot to change... She's got a lot better since then!

 

After being together for over a year, I managed to convince her to sell the AX and try a Rover 414SLi. Mainly because I'd ended up with the Rover as part of a swapsie deal and if she bought it off me, I could get something else.

 

She didn't react well to this. The Rover was too big, had too much electrickery and boringly, the headlamps didn't fall out at any point. We sold the Rover for massive profit (well, my wife's massive profit as she bought the car off me...) and immediately bought the Mini.

 

Rare shot of my wife cleaning a car. This was the first day of ownership. She's not cleaned it since.

 

Now, she can fiddle with the points all on her own, which is good as the Mini seemed to like regular attention in that regard when it was in regular use. She even took it to a garage once because the rear wheels were making a funny noise. That was just dust in the shoes, but it was nice that she was paying attention in a situation that the AX would just have been ignored.

 

Occasionally, she now helps me with my cars. Usually when I've got stuck...

 

However, she absolutely adores shite cars. She doesn't want ABS, PAS, EBD or anything else that requires an acronym. She likes visibility, servoless brakes, feeble power (but good torque) and absolutely no frills at all. A rare lady these days!

[504GL]

However, she absolutely adores shite cars. She doesn't want ABS, PAS, EBD or anything else that requires an acronym. She likes visibility, servoless brakes, feeble power (but good torque) and absolutely no frills at all. A rare lady these days!

 

I think my wife was like that till she got her Legacy and also now the 500. She loves the power of the Subaru even though she never uses is, I think she's genuinely scared of flooring it from a standstill. That said I know all too well that she'd sell me fo a 2CV.

 

I'm in two minds myself. I'd prefer something without PAS, I like ABS, EBD isn't bad and I didn't go for ESP on the 500 because it wasn't switchable.

[Father Ted]

The trouble had a lovely 1978 Fiesta when I met her.

 

I had

 

Since then, her cars have got steadily nicer and mine have got smaller, slower and shite-er.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

 

Since then, her cars have got steadily nicer

 

You don't get much nicer than a Jewish racing gold '79 320! Was it a Sporto-matic?

[peter9000uk]

1973 Morris Marina 1.3 coupe, handpainted blue with a black Vinyl imitation paint on roof. Drank petrol and oil in equal quantities but would not die. Bought for £35 and sold 18 months later for £60 and a round of drinks down the pub

 

Replaced with a 1973 bright yellow HC viva estate that the starter kept sticking on, wife used to carry a hammer behind the seat to give it a whack to get it started!

 

!976 Alfasud sprint which she absolutely loved. Unfortunately the car rotted away and was replaced by my Dolomite sprint in purple that she managed to snap the timing chain on thrashing the living daylights out of it on a regular basis.

 

1978 2.0S Crapi ( no I haven't spelt in wrong!) she hated this car as she reckoned it was too slow.

 

1979 320 BMW, she liked this but still managed to blow the engine up and break the diff, see a pattern forming?

 

1989 Nissan Maxima 3.0 auto, this lasted very well and took all the abuse given it by Mrs9000, but some reason I swapped it for a 3.0 Senator and cash my way. This was a bad move as the Senator wasn;t half as good as the Nissan.

 

1990 Mustang GT 5.0, bought this in the USA when working there and got it chaep from the Ford dealer as it was manual (Americans can't drive manuals) and they couldn't shift it. It went through rear tyres like no tomorrow, may have something to do with wife driving it like she stole it.

 

I feel I ought to point out at this point I have a clean licence wheras my wife has/had several speeding points on hers

 

She now drives an E46 BMW which she loves and I hate with a passion. It is horrible to drive and everything feels rock hard on it.

[ashmicro]

One of mine had a great selection of tat, despite image being important in her line of work. She had a knackered Uno 45 when we met which she siezed the engine in (no oil), and similarly killed was a Sierra 2.3D GL. Someone gave her a Hyundai Pony X2 dealer spesh with yellow stars and whoosh lines all over it. It had 4 different tyres, and 4 different spark plugs, all of which were wrong, looked like a bag of shit but was unkillable. I nobbled it permanently as I was terrified every time she went out in it, and bought her a mk5 Orion diesel for £500 from Adam H Erwin of Antrim, a Ford main dealer until 2008 who had taken it as a trade in the same day I called in. It was a great deal, they cleaned it, checked it over and delivered it to Belfast the next day, no extra money.

 

Great guys.

[Justin Case]

Does this count yet, as it is only eight years old and it's really the same colour all over? (only the poor light makes the side look darker ):

 

 

She's also had a couple of Metros and a bubble-shaped Micra, but they were all relatively new at the time.

[Father Ted]

You don't get much nicer than a Jewish racing gold '79 320! Was it a Sporto-matic?

 

Badermatic with indoor swimming pool in the glove box - when clogged it shifted in an eyeball bursting cloud of blue smoke.

[Captain Mainwaring]

The bumper was bent where she drove it into a ditch

 

Blimey, she seems to be quite good at that! I seem to remember you posting a picture of a Moggy Traveller which had received similar treatment in her hands but was considerably more buggered.

[scruff]

My wife has had

 

Rover 200 (wedgy)

Renault Clio 1.2

Austin Mini (still got )

Rover 220 turbo diesel

Renault Clio 1.9 diesel

[warren t claim]

 

Occasionally, she now helps me with my cars. Usually when I've got stuck...

 

You are Borat and I claim my £5.