Allegro news. Ratlook is dead. Long live granny-carjack look

[Angrydicky]

That looks fantastic - Vanden Plas seats?

[Louise2cv]

Yeah, Abby likes the finer things in life... esp if they include picnic tables!

[Louise2cv]

The Allegro club is doing a trip out round Snowdonia so it'd be rude not to tag along! Quite looking forward to it, but I warn you now I'm crap with cameras!

 

One of the guys coming down from Yorkshire may have found a gearbox Abby can have so that should work out nicely. The Allegro crew are a friendly bunch: I said Abby was after a car on the club forum and this guy phoned to say he might know of one, she bought it then when I mentioned the gearbox and he phoned back to say he had a gearbox and could, all being well, bring it along for her on Sunday.

 

Not sure whether I'll then have a trip out to Worcester to get it to her or if she'll have come here because I'm in the middle of ripping out the kitchen and she's itching to get it back on the road.

 

Also last night I had to rush out for emergency cheese (as you do) and had the one stretch of by-pass to myself, I might have been a little bit naughty and pushed 70 (smacked bottom) but I can't resist, it's the fastest car EVAH (when all you have to compare is a 2cv, a fully loaded berlingo and a Golf 2litre SDI) neeeeeeeeeeeowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I dread to think how fast it could go if I put my foot to the floor! ...anyway then another car did come along... a white Stag with only one headlamp working! So that made my day, it was like being in a time machine. Luvly.

[michiel]

Sounds like a nice club!

 

emergency cheese

 

No crackers?

[chaseracer]

emergency cheese

 

No crackers?

She is, but she's a lovely person too...

 

[Cavcraft]

Sounds like a nice club!

 

emergency cheese

 

No crackers?

 

 

There's probably a 'going commando' gag in this but I'm not saying it

[Mr Lobster]

WTF is emergency cheese anyway?

[Louise2cv]

Cheese, that you need in an emergency.

 

Like when the recipe that you've just about finished calls for cheese and you open the fridge to find your boyf has eaten all but a small slither (AKA "token cheese").

[michiel]

Ah, I assumed it was pregnancy-related...

[Louise2cv]

No. Unfortunately the only thing thats remotely resembled a craving so far was an urge for Bran Flakes, and to be honest if that's going to be it for my cravings I'm going to be a bit p*ssed off. I want something random like gherkins and ice-cream or marshmallows in mayo. Bran-flakes is way too boring.

[michiel]

[Guest]

Ah, I assumed it was pregnancy-related...

 

I did too.

[M'coli]

I just thought Louise had run out of cheese. I know I get panicky when there's no cheese in the house, so there was no explanation needed!

[Louise2cv]

The Allegro upset me today

 

It wouldn't start. Actually, no. It did start, went down the road, did a three point turn and back down the road then pulled out into the juction on a main road and conked out

 

Then it wouldn't start for five minutes, I flooded it and attracted the attention of a well meaning but condescending old man. Eventually it fired up. We'd decided it was damp so I drove off with a view to turn round somewhere a bit more safe and go home, which went quite well until it conked out again. Cue more unsuccessful turning of the engine.

 

By the time I got home (like 200yds) it seemed to be fine, and I needed some cable for the kitchen sockets, so I thought F*ck it and drove to Bangor anyway... without a mobile phone Luckily we got away with it!

 

The main point being, what kind of Autoshiter doesn't have any WD40 or similar "cure-all"? Smacked legs for me and the car

 

I might get some new leads and shit.

[chaseracer]

...what kind of Autoshiter doesn't have any WD40 or similar "cure-all"? Smacked legs for me and the car

And you, an ex-2CV owner!

 

I might get some new leads and shit.

Noun, not verb, I'm hoping

 

[Louise2cv]

...what kind of Autoshiter doesn't have any WD40 or similar "cure-all"? Smacked legs for me and the car

And you, an ex-2CV owner!

 

 

Would that have worked though? I mean to get it going? What do I need in terms of "ignition-shit" ?

 

HT leads, distrbutor cap? Anything else?

 

Tonight I am mostly thinking 2cvs are way better!

[dollywobbler]

I didn't want to point out the other day that 2CVs are better Louise, but I was miffed that the Allegros kept slowing down for the speed humps! What gives!

 

The emergency cheese discussion has just had me in bits. Thanks for that.

[Mr Lobster]

Would that have worked though? I mean to get it going? What do I need in terms of "ignition-shit" ?

 

[chaseracer]

Our crustacean friend speaks true.

 

[Louise2cv]

 

I like.

[Louise2cv]

Not much to report, it still smokes... hey ho.

 

I was browsing the old interweb and stumbled across a review site where people like E-R can rate things they've never owned

 

There are some cracking posts about the Allegro, including this one which could be a list of all the reasons I wanted one!

 

Allegro 1300 super deluxe ????

 

 

Whether it was due to some warped sense of patriotism, or sheer perverted cussedness, my parents remained loyal to the faltering giant British car industry for more than two generations. Their reward for such faith was to own increasingly decrepit and out of date cars until they saw the light, two years ago, and finally gave up the fight.

 

 

A succession of Austin's, Morris, Austin Rovers and Rovers found themselves parked on the driveway, which is probably why it's been reflagged on numerous occasions - to hide the oil stains. The Allegro was one of these cars much to the amusement of all and sundry.

 

 

Due to Leyland's legendary build-quality, the Allegro comes in two basic versions

 

 

version 1: The terminally rusty version which the wheels fell off within hours of purchase.

 

 

version 2: The last forever version, which never rots, and just runs for ever, with niggling little faults appearing almost weekly.

 

 

Who ends up worse off here is debatable; version 1 owners probably had a lucky if expensive escape.

 

 

My parents version 2 was the improved Mark 2 version. This came with such improvements as a round steering wheel, and a back window that didn't fall out.

 

 

The original line drawings for the Allegro looked quite promising. How this ended up being translated to a bulbous slab-sided lump of dog poo is beyond most people's grasp. And how, when all the world were falling over themselves for hatchbacks, Leyland managed to create a hatchback shape, and then stick a tiny boot in it beggars belief.

 

 

The only thing worse than looking at this car is of course driving it. Granted, the suspension gives a remarkable ride when its working, but the pay-off is floaty, lurchy handling and enough body roll to rival a 2CV. Unsurprisingly, to under steer is its natural inclination, with only the dim wittedness of the steering and your inability to twirl it standing between you and terminal plough mode.

 

 

Did I just mention inability to turn the steering wheel? Well at parking speeds at least the Allegro must have some of the heaviest steering ever to grace a motor car, this combines with thigh withering clutch and brake pedal, and recalcitrant gear change to make the All Allegro one of the most physically punishing cars to drive EVER. Stepping out of my own car and into the Allegro, I thought that the clutch had seized. Unfortunately, it hadn't and it continued running for many more years. Maybe it was designed as a training aid for would be bodybuilders so they could get an extra workout every time they needed to go anywhere.

 

 

The engine even 20 years ago, was already an old stager, and it has almost diesel-like performance i.e. reasonable bottom end torque, inability to rev and no top end. Economy is bearable but not earth shattering, but even that may be down to the fact you really can't be bothered attempting to make the thing go at any more than a leisurely pace.

 

 

The gearbox, as well as being like stirring lumpy treacle, manages the dual role of blunting any acceleration attempts and being low enough geared in its 4 speed top to murder your ears with the engine's anguished screams on the motorway.

 

 

About the only nice thing I can say about an Allegro is that they were surprisingly roomy on the back seat. Being version 2, it never rotted of course, and even after a decade it somehow looked in remarkably good condition, even its late 70s Leyland Dralon interior was completely unmarked. Unfortunately every other component had been replaced at least once.

 

 

Now some people claim the Allegro is now a collectors item, there's even an Allegro club, and supposedly the 1750 twin carb item, or the fetishist Vanden Plas are the most sought after versions. But all this proves is that there really is "nowt so queer as folk."

 

 

When my parents finally ridded themselves of the dreadful beast, they purchased - wait for it....... a Maestro, which to me was the Allegro reborn, fortunately it was a version 1 Maestro and promptly started to disintegrate, leading them finally to Daewoo, the most reliable car they ever owned.

 

...and...

 

I ended up swapping it for a packet of fags and a pint and I still feel I ripped the guy off!

 

People often ask why I wanted one and I always struggle for an answer... one guy at a petrol station said "well you don't see many of those... I remember them new, everybody hated them... what made you buy that?" To which I replied "because everybody hated them!". I can't explain it really, the stories about how dibolical they are were just too much to resist!

[Alexg]

I want an Allegro - big time. Probably for the same reason as you Louise. Plus bowling round in the charm and character of a 70s BL design is much cooler than following the norm - spunking £350 a month on a BMW 116 that you'll never own.

 

Also, I am the only person who actually think Allegros look OK...?

[Mr H Sceptre]

I want an Allegro - big time. Probably for the same reason as you Louise. Plus bowling round in the charm and character of a 70s BL design is much cooler than following the norm - spunking £350 a month on a BMW 116 that you'll never own.

 

Also, I am the only person who actually think Allegros look OK...?

 

Allegro's are a bloody handsome carriage.

[Alexg]

 

I'd so marry that, but that old brass can get off the bonnet

[messerschmitt owner]

Congratulations, Louise. Can I nominate Flavia if it's a girl? It's the only thing I remember from doing Latin at school (Ecce Romani if anyone remembers it!!!) "In pictora est puella Romana, nominee Flavia" - in the picture is a Roman girl, called Flavia.

Oh god, I remember Ecce Romani too - in pictura est puella. Puella est Cornelia, Cornelia in Romana habitat ...

[RedSparrow]

I would love an Estate. Can't remember last time I saw one though.

[Alexg]

There was an Allegro on Ebay based in Maidstone a few months ago. But luckily for the balls I had no money

[Espacetic]

Also, I am the only person who actually think Allegros look OK...?

 

No, I love them! Always have and it's probably why I own one. Love the cheeky looks and how curvy they are years before curves were fashionable.

[Rocket88]

I have owned two, a VP and a 1300. I'm still in therapy.

[Negative Creep]

Would that have worked though? I mean to get it going? What do I need in terms of "ignition-shit" ?

 

 

 

 

I brought a can of that back from NZ