Shitty Ford Escort with tax/test anyone?

[Cavcraft]

Latest heap of wank to land on my doorstep will be here on Monday next week:

 

1994/5 Escort 1.6 (90 PS) five door hatchback.

MOT'd September 2010.

Taxed end of September 2010.

Bloody reliable car, last owner has been all over the place in it including frequent trips to Scotland.

Nice set of (Ford) alloys with GR8 tyres.

Seems to run ok and it's never let him down.

 

Not so GR9:

 

Rear arches (especially driver's side) are wank.

Driver's side needs filling and rubbing down/blowing in (looks like it's been done before by the way).

Bottom of sills 'frilly' reckon it probably want two sills minimum for MOT and any other welding you might find.

Usual scuffs/scratches/dents/dings.

Needs a bloody good clean inside/out, though will endeavour to do this before it goes.

 

Subject to a decent run out in it over a couple of days and no major faults I'll be wanting £200 (firm) for it.

 

Run it round until the tax/test expire, have the battery/alloys off and weigh the rest in and it'll cost you fuck all at the end of it all.

 

Pictures and shit to follow but probably not until Monday/Tuesday when I've got the heap of toss.

[Cavcraft]

Taxed end of Sptember, MOT'd 26 August. Drives surprisingly well as it 'appens, clutch/brakes/engine/gearbox/tyres etc all seems spot on.

Worst grot seems to be the o/s/r arch but an hour or two with some filler and rattle cans will sort that out..

GR8 4 BANGA RALIES?

 

It's the automotive equivelant of walking to the Co-op in your pyjamas for ten L&B and a bargain bin out-of-date sliced loaf. But it'll do someone a good turn and it has snazzy shit like electric front windows, power steering and a CD player.

[Guest]

Urrrgh Christ Billy, your trade in bilge is getting grottier each time. Although that would make an ideal heap for someone.

 

I know of a friend's missus who commutes to Derby from Halifax who'd need something like this, as she's just bought a Bini 'that might get vandalised' when she goes to and from. I will let 'er and 'im know.

[Cavcraft]

Ta la.

 

To be fair it's probably better than that Fiesta but that wouldn't be too difficult, would it?

 

I'm going to run round in it for the next couple of days as there's a bit of fuel left in it.

It does have Scotland emblems on the numberplates by the way, I probably should have added that to the faults list

[Guest]

It does have Scotland emblems on the numberplates by the way, I probably should have added that to the faults list

No problem, I'll just throw them at SCTSH_ANDY.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I thought about buying this and using it as a daily, then i decided to use a cannon to blast a load of drawing pins into my face instead as a preferable option.

[pogweasel]

^Farking LOLZ^

 

How can anyone "dis" this vehicle, it is clearly a rare hi-po MOTORSPORT edition.

[Cavcraft]

Hey, it's got chrome number plate surrounds and 'RS' mud flaps. Cannon load of drawing pins to the face still be best option though.

 

Would the fact it has a sunroof sway anyone into buying it? Thought not.

[Futuramic]

Has it been reversed down a boat launching ramp and left with its back in the sea for a few years? The front looks mega tidy; whereas the rear doors back are coated in more brown staining than a horsey girl's knickers.

 

If I were still labouring I'd have that off you; but I'm not. I may be again however, so if anything that nasty comes up then I'll let you know.

 

As an aside: what does the red writing in the middle of the bootlid say?

[Cavcraft]

I don't think (but could be wrong) as I'm pretty sure the last owner fitted the towbar for his camping trailer. Talking of which he took the towbar off for his next car, a newer Escort. It wants a bloody good clean which I may/mot bother my arse to to over the weekend.

Bootlid writing is something about stock car racing I think, he used to go all over the place watching it and used to race cars yonks back.

 

Noticed today one tyre is getting down a bit and will want changing, will check the spare over the weekend and lob it on if it's any use.

[MK5 Escort]

Mmmmm....Pumice velour if memory serves me! One of the better interiors they did on the mk5.

 

The gearknob has clearly been replaced at some point. The original imprinted rubber ones weren't known for lasting particularly well (I remember seeing some at three years old which looked positively worn back then) but the later mk6 gearknobs can easily be retro-fitted and can be found for not much money in scrapyards up and down the land...

 

Rear arches do go grotty on them. They tend to go around the fuel filler caps on the earlier mk5’s too (like the mk3 Fiesta), but otherwise they do last reasonably well.

 

The large 'motorsport' banner on the windscreen and RS mudflaps would put off most perspective buyers, I'd presume...! Absolutely horrid. Unless you'd wanted to flog it to a 17/18 year old - they'd be the first things to see the bin...!

[Pillock]

 

The car would put off most perspective buyers, I'd presume...!

Edited for aaarcuracy.

 

Sorry, I'm guessing you're a Mk5 fan from the username but owning something like this has got to be a low point in life, a bit like putting down an appearance on Jeremy Kyle as "media experience" on your CV. It's in that limbo between being rubbish transport when new (like a Kia Cee'd), and cool rubbish when classic (like an Ital).

 

However if I had the need, I'd lower myself. It's still better than the bus.

[Station]

These look OK, but I seem to remember my dad's being of such poor quality build, I'd never contemplate taking one for free - am I wrong on this, or are they all like this? They're comfy though, and probably uber-reliable.

[Cavcraft]

Oh God aye, in the face of (any?) opposition at the time, and especially a few years afterwards, it's hard to think of a worse car in it's class.

It probably pips Rovers and that's about it and if being generous it's probably on a level footing with a Golf on the build quality/desirability front.

 

I reckon the sun strip thing will be a 'mare to remove, tried doing the same to another car once and gave up. The other stickers/tat should come off ok though.

 

Last owner (family M8 innit) got a newer Escort and is 'delighted' with it so you can probably guess his standard when it comes to cars. Happily though I managed to talk him out of buying a Mk2 Mondeo and a 'bubble' shaped 416. I couldn't talk my worse enemy into either of them.

 

*Anyone know what Ford model the wheels are off please?

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

The one I had for a while had one new tyre and three with hardly any tread left. The tracking was also out. Fun in the wet But it was certainly comfortable, and the performance was more than adequate. Quite quiet too.

 

New tyres made it a lot better, but even at this bargain price I'm not sure I'd want another one. The worst part was the interior. Plastics made of old Flexi-Discs, loose panels, blanking plates everywhere and the indicator stalks felt so cheap I was scared I'd tear them clean off. Also had to max the treble on the stereo, because a mere hint of bass caused the speaker to buzz.

 

The immobiliser had a dumb fault which required leaning out of the window and locking/unlocking the door so the car would start. This sometimes took a few attempts. Also fun in the wet

[Tayne]

/

[Cavcraft]

Ta muchly.

[Milford Cubicle]

Oh God aye, in the face of (any?) opposition at the time, and especially a few years afterwards, it's hard to think of a worse car in it's class.

It probably pips Rovers and that's about it

Whut?

I've had Astras, an Escort and a Golf. The R8 Rover 200/400 is a class act compared to all of them; much nicer to be in and to drive, even as a base model.

[Formula Autos]

The wheels look as if they could be off a Sierra Azura (the run-out model). So they could be pretty rare.

 

IIRC from an old Ford catalogue of the time, similar wheels (perhaps even these ones) were available as an optional extra, so they could have concievably been on the car from new. Though the centre caps look distinctly 'home made' - sprayed body coloured, using a rattle can.

[Cavcraft]

Thanks, I'm pretty sure he bought the wheels second hand from a scrappy and he's almost certainly responsible for spraying the centre caps as that fits in with the other 'improvements' he made!

[Dukestar25]

The wheels are off a newer Escort, GTI I think.

I think i first saw these wheels on the Si, I think the GTI got them later on...

[Cavcraft]

Now de-stickered and cleaned slightly.

[Cavcraft]

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

100x better without that sunstrip.

[fiatdaft]

wheels are from an xr3i.

[Lord Sterling]

Looks good. Neighbour of mine used to have one of them, same colour. I've driven a few, they certainly dont take your breath away when driving but they do go well.

 

At least its something thats faster than walking, keeps you dry and away from smelly wierdos on busses/trains/the streets and can take you as far as you want go.

 

Those wheels are from Fiesta Si's, not noticed them on anything else.

 

[Cavcraft]

Thanks.

 

Sunstrip actually came off quite easily (thank God) and a quick wash made it look loads better. Cba polishing it but interior defo needs a good clean.

Will check in my garage to see if I have any Ford steels to lob on as I might get a few quid for those alloys.

[fiatdaft]

forgot about the fiesta si,but the wheels first appeared on the 1991 xr3i.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I'd like to suggest another vehicle that these wheels may or may not be off, but I dont really know what i'm talking about, so I'll say 1979 Sierra XR2 CVH catalyst.

[Futuramic]

Those wheels actually came off a 1996 Fiesta Si. It's still by the side of the road on bricks.

 

 

 

Fnarr Fnarr.