Aww, shite. Now what?

[pogweasel]

No shags for M'Coli then.

UNLUCKY.

[Rocket88]

My sympathies...........been there with similar lunatic punter, keeps buying stuff off me, and then complaining three years later that it's "broken", mainly because she's one of these people who thing that cars "shouldn't need servicing as long as you love them"...........Jesus H Christ.........

[HillmanImp]

No shags for M'Coli then.

UNLUCKY.

There is fat cunt down queens road in 'Ull who once offered me a Saab 99 in exchange for a shag with my missus.

 

When I test drove it, there was no reverse gear so the deal was off.*

 

 

 

*like fuck would I have let the paedo fuck her, I just wanted a drive in a car. Was only 16 at the time. He seemed to think we were older......or more worryingly maybe not

[Albert Ross]

I once sold a minty Y plate Escort 1600 Ghia to a "Lady" in Nottingham Plate worth more than the car. CWY11Y (See Willy) and the fat bint had the cheek to return 12 months later screaming the place down because the two front tyres had worn out...................! 22000 miles in 12 months on used tyres eh..... On an older car. Yes Missus, you have to maintain your own vehicle, the £600 you gave me was only for the car, not a fucking service contract, now fuck off.

Thing is, she brought this REALLY big, intimidating West Indian gentleman with her. I explained the situation, he listened to me, and left a deposit on a tidy A plate XR3i....... The fat bitch never came back, he popped back the same day, paid the remaining cash for the car, and within 6 months it was back for a head gasket and clutch. Paid up front, and tipped generously, he explained that he was really surprised to find someone telling the absolute truth about cars (i.e. no flannel) and recommended his family and friends! I reckon I sold them about 9 cars in 3 years between them! Last I saw he had a totally bollocksed 3 series ragtop. (Side scrape!) and he gave me a really hearty grin when I waved at him from an early Rangie..... I like happy customers. Honesty is the way.

[RedSparrow]

green cars are unlucky and she won't own one.

*facepalms*

[scaryoldcortina]

I know, lol. I suspect I facepalmed myself while on the phone. Some people, lol I'm so fucking desparate for a car, as long as it isn't green.. I know! I've got a huge set of stepladders I can arrange in front of the gate so you can't come in without walking under them. That should sort it

 

Albert, yes, I always strive to be honest with punters. Some of them mistake it for humour though! And as for awkward customers, I've had my share. This game, you learn fast to stand your ground and take no BS, or pretty quick you get eaten alive.

[Waderider]

I ran one of these as a modern until last year.

 

I'm confused. As mentioned before, they are galvanised and don't rot. Mine did 110k miles in the Inverness area, with it's wintery salty roads without a spot of rot or a bubble of rust. Shame about the dicky ems and mechanicals.

 

The 1.4 engine is shite. It has poor mpg partly due to the single point injection and design issues such as a poorly designed cam lube system prone to blockage.

 

I think these motors look nice and may be futureshite but for a punter like your hippy bird they are a stupid choice. Mine was only economical to run as I do all maintenance myself. Tell her it's scrap and she made the mistake when she bought it. Too late now.

 

Give her a wide berth and don't be a hero.

[M'coli]

Well, I think (thanks to autoshite) I may be out of the shit on this one.. Rang her up today to tell her about the saab m'coli has, it sounds absolutely perfect to her right up till she asked me what colour it is. Oh dearie me, it seems green cars are unlucky and she won't own one. Oh well, I tried, bye, good luck then

No probs... (thinks about PMing Station)!

[scaryoldcortina]

waderider (/home/jeff? I smell unix...) you are 100% right. Trouble is, she has spent all her money on it already before finding me (why does that always seem to happen?) £800 buying the heap from a car sales pitch (the aptly named Kerbside Motors..) New rad, new battery, £200 on tyres.... then the MoT. This Brava has blacked sills (I've never seen any others, all bodycolour to the floor) and they are rotted from front to back, NS sill has been patched previously at the back but is now hanging off. There are bullet holes all along the bottom of both sills where the MoT inspector pushed his corrosion assesment tool straight through. Wings and arches look good as new though. If they do galv them, they only do the outside of the shell as a quick dip

[Station]

I've been that desperate before as she has. I'd want to help her out, even if she is a 'mad hippie'.

[Milford Cubicle]

I ran one of these as a modern until last year.

I'm confused. As mentioned before, they are galvanised and don't rot. Mine did 110k miles in the Inverness area, with it's wintery salty roads without a spot of rot or a bubble of rust. Shame about the dicky ems and mechanicals

My aunt and uncle ran one for several years not far from Inverness and it had an MOT mega-fail on rust recently - it was a rather early one though.

[scaryoldcortina]

Update time! Wednesday I couldn't find my phone. Thursday I noticed 18 missed calls ad 3 texts... uh-oh! So I called. We had a chat, I explained the realities of life (a la pillock) and then we agreed to a lunch date at Scottish Motor Auctions in Birtley to view the friday snotters and figure how much money she needs to raise to get a car together.

 

So, hands in pockets, no bidding.. (I almost bought a merc 180 mind, it only fetched £275, s plate eleganse, 10 months test) let's just look. Predictably, VW's are expensive, saxos are dead (and expensive) there are quite a few low miles korean things (Kia/hyundai etc) going very cheap.. 26,000 mile dealer serviced '02 Accent, £300 for example. Same age/spec bora, £2000. so I think it's autoshite time.

 

We go back next week to pick a far eastern snotter. Any guesses what she will end up with?

[Pillock]

Awww bless you, I think you've sorted the situation in the nicest way there. As dull as early-2000s far eastern cars are, they'll probably suit her better than an Allegro or Alfasud or whatever we suggested on here