Shite supercars

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Heres a good one for you, provoked by the picture of the 'invicta' in the other thread.

 

What examples can you think of, of recent supposed 'supercars' that you know are (in a commercial sense) barely gonna make it out the starting blocks, before disappearing straight up thier own ass. I'm talking about the ones where theres no obvious reason why you would want to buy one at all no matter how moneyed you were. You have to wonder what folk were thinking of when they decided to tip no doubt huge amounts of their own cash into these projects, which are 99% certain to fail. Their story often involved a motor show launch with lots of fuss and fanfare, then nowt much else afterwards.

 

Exhibit 1: Invicta S1

 

Kit car looks and a yankee V8. The tail lights are Passat ones tipped on their side, the central white bit looks a bit like an 'I' for INvicta. Hopeful. Website last updated 2008 and the only car on there with numberplates is an 03 reg.

 

Exhibit 2: Connaught

This one is the baby of former practical classics scribbler and general automotive shite jedi Tim Bishop. The man who designed a fuel injection system for the tatra T613 and attempted to get them off the ground in the UK. This bad boy has hideous styling, but it does at least have a nifty engine - a supercharged 2.0 V10 producing 300bhp! I'd love to know what a 2.0 V10 sounds like. I imagine the frictional losses of such an engine are quite heavy though.

 

This one got as far as choosing a factory in south wales (I think the Welsh development agency may have helped there) and a couple of specious 'road tests' then disappeared without trace. Shame as the man bishop is a bit of a legend IMO.

 

Exhibit 3: Farboud/farbio GTS

This one actually looked pretty freakin nice, but was the brainchild of a minted young heir to a mega fortune made in the supply of medical gear. He came up with the concept and got it off the ground, then decided it was too big a project and got somebody (Chris marsh) in to manage it into production. He then took a dislike to the direction of the project and started a new project of his own, which has never come to anything beyond a few CGI pictures. Not sure if the original Farbio thing ever made it to a showroom floor, lokos nice though.

 

I'll let someone else post up some pics of the increasingly ridiculous-looking vehicles to wear the Marcos badge, this company has died and been reborn more times than... than.... I dont know.

 

What others can you think of? There must be stacks.

[Milford Cubicle]

 

Trident Iceni. Nice shite touch with the Proton Compact rear lights!

 

To be fair to them, the concept sounds really interesting, it's fitted with extremely high-geared 8 speed transmission and high-torque GM diesel truck engine which is capable of 70MPG on a run, but also 200MPH and 0-60mph in less than 4 seconds. Sounds too good to be true, I hope they pull it off because the spec is incredible.

There isn't much on their website, all I can find online are a

few articles about the prototype.

[wuvvum]

This thing.

 

 

It's a Phantom Vortex kit car - powered, IIRC, by a Ford Duratec V6 from a Mondeo, it could be built for around £15K and is a pretty nice looking vehicle as kit cars go. Didn't sell many though, and eventually folded.

 

Then some clown bought the design, fitted a slightly more powerful engine and tried to flog it as a ready built car for £85K...

[garethj]

This one is the baby of former practical classics scribbler and general automotive shite jedi Tim Bishop. The man who designed a fuel injection system for the tatra T613 and attempted to get them off the ground in the UK. This bad boy has hideous styling, but it does at least have a nifty engine - a supercharged 2.0 V10 producing 300bhp! I'd love to know what a 2.0 V10 sounds like. I imagine the frictional losses of such an engine are quite heavy though.This one got as far as choosing a factory in south wales (I think the Welsh development agency may have helped there) and a couple of specious 'road tests' then disappeared without trace. Shame as the man bishop is a bit of a legend IMO.

Hactually Tim did a lot more than just the fuel injection system for the Tatra, he also got them to design a 5 speed gearbox, did lots of modifications to the suspension and went through type approval process - this last bit is fairly involved....I believe the legwork of designing the V10 was done in India but the whole thing was going to be a hybrid originally and this gave them a bit of cash from the government, I'm sure some of this money was used for the development of the rest of the car so it's quite a neat idea.I really hope the business works, apart from Tim being a good chap it looks like the car has got something different to offer. Not just another supercar clone as the Invicta is. Both are commiting the terrible crime of using a grand name from the past for no real reason however.My favourite shite supercar is the Panther Solo, trigger here has very kindly scanned in a few of his Autocar roadtests and there's a car on ebay right now which gives me a trouser tent. I'm told that after they did lots of development on the carbon fibre monocoque, their supplier couldn't supply. Oops

[VWPowered]

Farboudsaw one of those at the autosport show was tidy like

[wuvvum]

This was another attempt to sell a car by using a name with an impressive past - the Railton Fairmile of 1989.

 

 

I don't think any were ever sold to the public

[pompei]

I guess that Lexus that was reviewed on TG the other night must fall into this category - took aeons to develop, costs twice as much as a Ferrari and Lexus lose money on every one sold ...

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I'm not sure the lexus counts, one of the requirements for shite supercardom is that the company making it has to go bankrupt within a year or so of launching it. Or ideally before a proper launch is even carried out.

[retrogeezer]

This (Gumpert):

 

[Mr_Bo11ox]

The Gumpert is pretty hideous and has a name worthy of the shitiest of 50's Yorkshire-built microcars, but i'd say too serious a project to qualify for proper shitedom. Maybe if it had a Rover KV6 engine or something it would have a look-in, but its got some sort of mega Audi turbo effort has it not?

[Timewaster]

 

Cizeta V16t.

A 16 cylinder monstrosity bankrolled by music producer Georgio Moroder (Together in electric dreams etc...)

 

8 produced before the company went to the wall, although apparently still available to special order.

[Rod/b]

This, surely?

 

Failing British car manufacturer buys failed Italian supercar. Failing British var manufacturer fails, sells supercar rights to insane British failure-to-convince-anyone- he's-one-of-THOSE-Rileys William Riley. British nutjob never produces any cars, gets arrested, becomes univesally disliked.

 

In summary: FAIL

 

[pompei]

The designer of that MG must've slept with a pic of the Audi TT under his pillow.

[reallyloud]

Not sure if this counts, but this would look equally out of place in the south of france as it would south of the Thames.

 

[reallyloud]

Panther Lazer. A beach buggy with a 5 litre engine. Just what you need.

 

[pogweasel]

Why do Bristol still bother?

 

 

Disgustingly ugly.

And presumably of woeful quality at huge expense. I mean would you buy a car from a company whose website looks like THIS???

 

The top-spec Fighter T claims to have over 1000bhp and a potential top whack of 270mph, limited to 225. I would say O RLY, because IF you were knocking up motors in a shed that pissed all over the Veyron, which of course was pretty much a limitless budget on account of the halo effect, why not let them go 270mph, thus urinating on Bugatti / VAG's glory in the process and making a new 'super-super-supercar for 12 year old boys and J.Clarkson to wave their willys at???

Oh yes, because it'll be made out of glue and balsa wood and grp and if you try to do more than a ton or go around a corner you will crash and die.

 

Bristol made some truly wonderfully deeply cool GT's, but everything they have cobbled together in the last 25 years has been inexcusably ugly and horrendously shit.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

The MG 'X-factor shitbox' is an all-time great amongst shite supercars. It ticks all the boxes - Looks shit, horribly overpriced, uses various cheapy trim bits off other cars, no USP whatsoever, yankee v8 engine etc. I can well imagine it sitting there in the background, 90% complete, putting on a false look of surprise as the administrators start go through the filing cabinets.

[Pete-M]

Why do Bristol still bother?Disgustingly ugly. And presumably of woeful quality at huge expense. I mean would you buy a car from a company whose website looks like THIS???Bristol made some truly wonderfully deeply cool GT's, but everything they have cobbled together in the last 25 years has been inexcusably ugly and horrendously shit.

Ah. Now. Bristols are immense to drive y'know. Really bloody good. I'd have one. I wouldn't be spending £175k on a secondhand Fighter though - even if I had it.I like the website as well. Shows that the company aren't a bunch of fashion following, TT driving, media pandering gobshites.I also doubt the Fighter will to 270 mph, but it wouldn't surprise me at all if a top spec, full power job would do 250. Probably 3/4 ton lighter than the Veyron, and Bristol do have a bit of the old aerospace intelligence. 1000 bhp + light car + a bit of intelligence and I don't see why they couldn't pull that one off. The Yanks were making Dodge Chargers go round ovals at 180 mph 40 years ago, I'm sure Bristol could do better.

[pogweasel]

Well if it IS so good, why do they hide it?I can sort of see that a Bristol is the most discreet supercar for the discerning expert, but as a business model that is totally flawed. Supercars are not sold to be driven to their limits by 90% of their owners. The supercar life cycle is very simple - 1) company produces supercar and states it's bowel-shattering performance2) They lend one to clarkson, he talks excitedly and poos his grits whilst driving it, then they let the stig go in it. 3) When proven to be astonishingly fast on the telly, it will then sell in unexpectedly high quantities to flash bastards, international playboys, professional footballers and various other talentless plebs4) The owners will drive them slowly around central london or the south of france or whatever to prove their status & cock-size. If they attempt to drive fast, they crash, and move on to the next hypercar at the top of the top gear wall. Building one and then not letting top gear near it or footballer twats buy it is very noble but ultimately pointless, you may as well not bother at all if youare not going to shift any units.

[reallyloud]

I quite like the MG X-Factor car too. I wondered into the now defunct Coventry Phoenix (nothing to do with those 4 jokers) Rover showroom and took a few snaps of the example they had in. The dealer knew that a car costing £82,000, with Fiat Punto front lights wasn't going to find many buyers.....

 

[Pete-M]

Well if it IS so good, why do they hide it?I can sort of see that a Bristol is the most discreet supercar for the discerning expert, but as a business model that is totally flawed.

Bristol are legendary for not following the rules. They don't want footballers driving their cars around as 'they're not the right kind of people'. They won't let Clarkson or Top Gear (or indeed any magazine) have a go as that means that people who don't know what Bristol stands for don't want to buy their cars.If they did put the Fighter on Top Gear, and the Stig pulled off some incredible lap time, then I guarantee that every bloody car web forum on earth would go nuts, and then football players would want them, and gangsters etc and Bristol would lose the thing that makes them so special - the fact that they really don't give a fuck what you think. They build what they want and sell it to who they choose. Just having money isn't enough.Personally I love this about Bristol, it's one of the reasons I'd like to own one.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

This (Gumpert):

 

Yummmmmm. That's just so EvoTechnicTastic. I bet it could be driven by some stubble faced, trendy spec wearing writing God to an 8 minute lap of the Wankeurring, dialling in plenty of oversteer to the oh-so focussed chassis.

 

Or was it a pile of shit built by a couple of dreamers in a shed in Weston Super Mare?

[Cheggers]

Can't decide whether it counts as shite, but how about Avon's take on the Aston Martin V8

 

 

As I recall, there was some linkage between the many brake lights and the amount of pedal pressure

[reallyloud]

The rear lights from that Aston triggered off an old Matchbox model of a car I had believed was fictious.

 

 

I think it was VW based, Siva Spyder. I reckon that if someone was to produce a pie chart of the number of defunct specialist car manufacturers in the UK, the biggest slice would be from the Midlands. I actually had some involvement in one as part of a student project - the concept Climax. I contributed towards the styling and helped with the chassis construction of the prototype.

 

 

I'm not really involved in it anymore and I think the guys are still looking for production aspirations.

[Pete-M]

I suspect if you were to do a pie chart of every car manufacturer that's ever been in the UK most would be from the Midlands....

[Rod/b]

I suspect if you were to do a pie chart of something something something

Mmm, Pie....

[Jazzy Jeff]

Bristol are the greatest Car Manufacter on earth, everything about them oozes quality, performance and a particular brand of eccentricity that you won't find anywhere else on earth other than this country.Remember, Bristol will not sell a car to you if they don't like you. No matter how much money you have.

[Guest]

Well if it IS so good, why do they hide it?I can sort of see that a Bristol is the most discreet supercar for the discerning expert, but as a business model that is totally flawed.

Bristol are legendary for not following the rules. They don't want footballers driving their cars around as 'they're not the right kind of people'. They won't let Clarkson or Top Gear (or indeed any magazine) have a go as that means that people who don't know what Bristol stands for don't want to buy their cars.If they did put the Fighter on Top Gear, and the Stig pulled off some incredible lap time, then I guarantee that every bloody car web forum on earth would go nuts, and then football players would want them, and gangsters etc and Bristol would lose the thing that makes them so special - the fact that they really don't give a fuck what you think. They build what they want and sell it to who they choose. Just having money isn't enough.Personally I love this about Bristol, it's one of the reasons I'd like to own one.

I'm with you on this one Pete. One of the two 'mega coin' cars I would buy would be a Fighter and a Morgan Aeromax (in piano black). The rest would be random skip fodder.Bristol let EVO test the Fighter if I remember rightly. Tony Crook famously gave Richard Meaden a bollocking when he worked on Top Gear Magazine, and the editor described the Blenheim of the time as 'donkey shit'. I think that may have been what started the rift between Bristol and the motoring press in the first place.

[Rod/b]

R. Porter esq reviews the Fighter.

 

http://www.evo.co.uk/features/features/ ... ghter.html

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Hey, I dont know much about Bristols but I am mega glad they exist, gives me faith in people. Just think, you've got Mercedes-benz knocking out GL's and R-Class's and you've got Bristol knocking out Fighters and rebuilt 403's. Both are manufactureres of luxury vehicles, one gives you a warm feeling inside about the interestingness of its ethos and its products, and one makes you wonder what is the fuggin point in liking cars, when such spectacularly shit ones are getting made by the supposed inventors of the motor car.