1984 Mini - Simplify and add weight

[N Dentressangle]

The bulkhead in the Mini has been a bit of a mess ever since we got the car, and hasn't got any better.

BL in their infinite wisdom decided that they would economise on soundproofing and developed a clever plan. Every morning they sent a few guys from the early shift at the Austin off into Brum to search the streets. They were looking for tramp bedding - the smellier and more piss stained the better - and when they spotted some they'd quickly fling it in the back of an unmarked Sherpa pickup. As the years passed, they moved onto a Maestro, captured here in a Paccar spy shot:

but the MO remained the same. When the back was full of reeking, yellowed, mite-infested mattresses and blankets, they floored it back down the A38 to Longbridge.

There, a team of expert trimmers carefully* crafted each new delivery of shitty bedding into soundproofing for a Mini bulkhead:

[N Dentressangle]

As you probably know, historical artefacts become ever more fragile with age. Wear and tear from human handling take their toll, as do atmospheric pollutants and UV light. Even the finest Midlands craftsmanship can't be expected to withstand these forces forever, and so it is with Mini bulkhead insulation.

Using appropriate gloves and fine professional tools, I removed this priceless piece whole and intact* from the site:

Skill, experience and many years of study of Midlands automotive culture will allow the recreation of a facsimile for display, allowing the preservation of this priceless original piece in the archives*.

Plenty of shite behind it:

but it all cleaned up OK with plenty of white spirit, sandpaper, and a wire brush attachment on the cordless drill. Fortunately there was enough Waxoyl and engine oil flying around to avoid any rot holes, and just surface rust and loose clag to sort out and prep:

If you hadn't already guessed, this won't be a concours job. I don't go to those kind of shows, the car's a keeper, and I'm an impatient bastard, so that level of attention to detail is entirely beyond me.

So I did what any normal person would do and slapped a coat of silver Smoothrite over the ugly bits. Most of it'll be hidden when everything's back in anyway, and I just want to make sure it doesn't rot to shit:

The bits that are supposed to be black will get a coat of something too.

I'm happy.

[N Dentressangle]

The magic clearing up pixies have been busy in my garage:

I'd post a pic of the second coat of silver Smoothrite, but that would actually be watching paint dry.

Have a pic of some shiny(er) alloy drying instead:

There. Far more interesting, see?

[N Dentressangle]

[cobblers]

Just be mindful to turn it the right way up before fitting, or it'll leak even more oil than they usually do

[bunglebus]

I think it looks better that way up. Think how easy draining the oil will be!

[Parky]

The fuel supply will need to defy gravity though!

[N Dentressangle]

1 hour ago, bunglebus said:

I think it looks better that way up. Think how easy draining the oil will be!

Standard fitment in Australia and NZ market cars

[N Dentressangle]

OK, latest pics to follow for Mini lickers, but in the meantime, a question:

I'm replacing the rear valance, and having nearly cut the old one off I'm thinking about how to fit the nice new one.

Obviously I was going to use the conventional way of drilling and plug welding it, but is there any reason why it can't be bolted on? I'm thinking this would be easier to paint and prep to keep rust away in future, as well as easier to remove to clean the muck out.

Thoughts?

[N Dentressangle]

As promised, more pics!

Here's the lump in place with all ancillaries connected. I've deliberately gone for 'oily rag' - this isn't going to be a show car, and needs to be capable of being to driven to work sometimes and not fussed over too much. The rad top hose replacement is waiting to be fitted, and the washer bottle & air duct have been removed to deal with pic 2...

I reckon the by then 85 year old owner probably took her Mini to the local garage in Minchinhampton in around 2005-2010 to sort the bodywork out. They replaced the front wings, not especially well, and dealt with any other rust the only way they knew how. Plenty of filler!!

To be fair their lash up job has lasted a few years, but it would have been better if the rot had been nipped in the bud rather than just hidden. The O/S front wing was the first bit to get poked. What looked like some scabbiness and staining under the headlight just disintegrated under the wire brush on the grinder. I was left with a big 'ole, which I've made up and tacked a panel into ready to be filled over again. Replacing the wings is more work than I want at the mo (I'd like this out of my garage!):

Here's what the little tinkers had plastered over on the other side. Not so bad under the headlight this time, but completely ruined around the indicator and grille. Luckily there's a useful repair panel available which I'll weld in to replace the missing bits:

Most of the car is actually OK, and the next crusty bit was the rear valance. I bought a spot weld drill and cut the panel out from below by drilling the welds out - works surprisingly easily! Here's the first half done, with a good view of the rather lovely Stage 1 exhaust system I've fitted:

The closing panel is saveable with few repairs to the boot floor and a bit of metal let in elsewhere:

[Blake's Den]

Following with great interest!

I'm currently renovating an '88 Designer special edition. I'm currently on with the bodywork, once that's all sorted it will be time to look at the oily bits.

[MJK 24]

On 4/26/2020 at 7:10 AM, paulplom said:

I remember a mate stripping the engine and box from a 1983 mg metro in about 1990. Not sure why or what he did wrong but once reassembled it would suddenly lock up every couple of miles.

It was absolutely terrifying being in it. The anticipation and waiting for the random moment when it would screech the front wheels and put you through the windscreen was really something to experience.

 

Anyone know why it would do that out of curiosity?

Imagine that happening just as you start to turn into a corner at 40mph 😬

[N Dentressangle]

The nastiest grot is actually in the N/S rear 3/4 panel. It's another area the local garage have just filled over in the past, and unfortunately the tinworm has just festered underneath. It had started to bulge, and a few minutes with a sharp chisel gave us this loveliness:

I'll probably be taking the coward's way out here and paying someone more competent with a welder than me to fix this bit up.

[Ben_O]

They are all fairly simple areas to repair but unless you are handy with the welder, probably best left to someone who is.

I read your valance question over on the mini forum. I'd get whoever does the other welding to weld that on for you. Nothing stopping you doing all the cleaning and prep prior so it can just be welded on.

I personally wouldn't bolt it on as the amount of bolts you would need would really show and there isn't really any benefit to being able to remove it.

 

Cheers

Ben

[N Dentressangle]

Oh, I'm happy with welding the valance on, and will probably do just that. It was only a thought.

I'm not really a fan of Minis as you've probably guessed. There are just too many bits which no-one has really thought through properly, or bothered to improve over 25 years in production. The drivetrain arrangement is stupid and the suspension's nasty. Everything is a PITA to work on, cheaply made and poorly finished. The whole thing has the feel of a half-heartedly productionised prototype. I shall be glad when this one's done and out of my garage!

[N Dentressangle]

Finished off removing the old rear valance today, drilling out the rest of the spot welds. It seems to come off pretty cleanly this way at any rate, so I'm happy it won't take too much prep before I can weld the new panel on:

The closing panels on the N/S were in a much better state, and shouldn't need any repairs. The boot floor is also still good here, so it should be just a question of tidying all this lot up with the grinder ready for the new panel:

which is more than can be said for the O/S. I also managed to cut the rot out of the closing panel and weld in a new piece, which will need a bit more dressing and tickling before I'm happy with it. Welding biscuit tin thickness shit metal is a fucking pain in the arse, and yes I am using gas with the welder before anyone suggests that's where I'm going wrong:

There's still some non-existent boot floor to replace, just above the closing panel. Because I like to make a nice neat job I'm going to do the right thing* and weld a nice piece of decent steel over the inside:

Many of this car's problems stem from the fact it's not a Land Rover. I plan to begin migrating its design ethos from Longbridge to Solihull, starting with using some decent thickness steel in the sodding first place.