Shitting in the shallow end. Shart Car

56,875 · April 30, 2023

Bonus pics from scenery that's deceptively not that far away.

27,554 · April 30, 2023

I honestly think it's between this one and @Lacquer Peel's one for best car bought by a mate in the last year.

@Supernaut's one would have been in with a chance, but it was too grumpy too soon (I'm telling myself this so I don't buy it!)

56,875 · July 29, 2023

It's been more than Seven Hours And Fifteen Days, since I bought a car ok.

I sleep well all night, and work all day. Since I turned ebay away.

(Aaaah, aaaah, aaah, aaaahh)

But noooooothing compares. No THING compares, to buying a car blind off the internet then going to get it.

Please note: Every time I do something stupid. A shrew will scream.

I'd done so well not buying a car for 18 months. That's 18 months IN A ROW. I'd saved a bit of money, had no real issues and generally had quite a nice time.

Then like a pure junkie, 18 years clean and remembering the smell of methadone I thought well I'll just have a little look on eBay. Just a look.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Browsing eBay seemed fine, so I started popping a few daft small bids in on things. Just small bids. Not gonna win owt.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Bids got a bit higher, because they do dont they? That's not my fault. Bids just get higher. That's just a fact of life. You can't deny it. Bids just get higher.

Until.

YOU ARE THE WINNING BIDDER. PLEASE MAKE PAYMENT.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Well I've won it now. I can't let the seller down so I'll have to book a ticket to collect. It's only about 4 hours round trip so it's barely even half a day's work.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Tickets booked, up with the larks and out to the rail station.

Got some support from my support team.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Out on the train. You meet the best people.

This gentleman was browsing the actual physical Wetherspoons food menu.

This lad seemed like he was a bit peckish as well.

PC up one to one.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Half way there.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Change of trains and a swoop out to the coast.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

I arrived and the car looked great.

Mot history was good. One keeper from new.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Oh fuck.

It's a Vauxhall lads.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Checked the levels, ran it round the block and it seemed fine.

It had been sitting for two years but had a recent MOT

Let's hit the road!!

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Filled the cunt up. Threw it over the moors and everything was fine..........

.............. For about 50 miles. Then I noticed a funny smell.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Smell got worse.

So I pressed on.

Ignore it. It'll go away.

I'd did not go away. It got worse. Then smoke started coming out of the wheels.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Is it bad if some of the smoke escapes from some of your wheels lads?

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Front brakes were dragging bad. Which is to be expected really. I was hoping to get away with the drive home, but they really dug in. Foot the the floor in 4Th to maintain any kind of road speed.

I limped into a Coop and grabbed some water. Which will fix everything.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Spoilers. Water did NOT in fact fix everything.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Coffee cup shown for scale.

I let it cool down at the naughty end of the forecourt and let it cool down.

After an hour it still all seemed very hot to me, the car would barely move on the forecourt, so I rang the AA. Fuck it. I'll get recovered I thought.

The nice AA man turned up, and said HAVE YOU JUST BOUGHT IT MATE?

I said yes, I have actually.

He said WELL I CANT TOUCH IT THEN. ITS IN THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS. YOUVE JUST ADMITTED IT SO I CANT TOUCH IT OR RECOVER IT. ITS IN THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

So be aware, those who aren't. AA Ts and C's say if it's the first 24 hours of ownership, your cover isnt valid. So he said if you find yourself in this situation, next time lie.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Luckily for me, I had my mobile smart phone with me during this entire experience, so I was able to complain to my friends at almost every stage, which really helped.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

AA man left to help real people with real problems, not just people that have just bought an Astra so I googled a local recovery lad.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Taxi for the SXI.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

Lovely ride home with a top lad on the wagon. Told me about his bike engined GWizz with billet axles among other things. Well worth £200.

Home.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

This is why I like to buy one owner cars with full service histories.

For the peace of mind.

56,875 · July 29, 2023

It's just the caliper pad carriers want cleaning up really. Other than that it seems like really fantastic car. Honestly drives like brand new other than the brakes.

Really happy with it all told and it was a nice day out.

@Lacquer Peel is going to attack it with me tomorrow so hopefully up and fit soon.