Shitting in the shallow end. *Arse friends Electric*

[aldo135]

Yes! 3 13 and 30 please  

[Jim Bell]

Afternoon all. 

Well, what's been happening with the Cav?

Erm. I've been driving it around and I put a sticker on it.  

 

 

As is everly thus, I have seen something else that has piqued my interest so will be popping an XMAS BONANZA raffle on. 

 

I won't add numbers requested here, so keep your eyes peeled in the FOR SALE forum and request your numbers accordingly. 

[Jim Bell]

Roffle now live:

 

 

[SRi05]

+5hp for the Turbo Diesel sticker, love it 

[Jim Bell]

Malaise lay heavy across the land like a blanket what has been pissed on, that you HAVE to use because you're in LOCKDOWN jail and you're cold and alone in a cell made of Brexit with a larger, stronger man that won't stop talking about Jewish Space Lasers. 

The glumless in the air was suffocating, like what the baddie does to poor victims in the first series of the gritty and un-nerving television series Marcella. 

I opened a window. 

And when I say I opened a window, I mean I bought a car. 

The metaphorical breeze was refreshing, like drinking crisp lager from a thin woman's shoe. 

eBay bleeped. 

I reached one open hand into the air, closed my fist, and pulled down the win. 

 

 

[loserone]

Oh man, I was going to go and eat my tea but now I'll have to pretend to be at work a while longer.

[Jim Bell]

You can't buy cars in Lockdown. That's what the liars will tell you. They'll tell you that you can't, that you shouldn't and that it's not a good idea. Especially if the car is in Essex and you're almost in Scotland. 

I heard these lies again and again from my girlfriend as she stamped from foot to foot throwing increasing grades of cutlery at me. 

The garlic masher got me right on the elbow as I was running away. 

When she went into the kitchen, I farted on her mobile phone. When she came back I rang her so that she picked up the phone and put it next to her nose and mouth, hopefully getting some fart into both face holes. 

But, I digress.......

[Jim Bell]

My current car, the Cavalier above, that had been FOR AUCTION, but then did a no brakes unexpectedly, was sent up to @Jimbob McGregor for fettling of this key area. 

The excellent @worldofceri was kind enough to pick the Cav up for deposit at James' garage. 

 

Of course, it was pointless him driving from the West Mids to TOON with an empty trailer, so for a reasonable fee he popped down to Essex on the way and collected my eBay idiocy. 

[Jim Bell]

I dunno if I've ever mentioned this, but I'm part of an urban graffiti and Parkour collective. 

We are a tight group, and talk about our feelings in a circle regularly. 

I decided to chat with some of the lads about my new buy. 

[Jim Bell]

This is Long Kenny. 

He's mostly into Political stuff. He doesn't like the LAPD because he got a £65 fine for not picking up dog dirt once. 

 

 

 

 

I asked him for some advice. 

 

Kenny, are cars meant to crunch when you put them into second gear?

 

Long Kenny: I don't fink so. But I'm hear for you if you need a hug. "

 

Then he did a foreward roll and jumped over a low wall. 

 

 

[Jim Bell]

Bouyed by this essential emotional support, I had a chat with Tam Gravy, the Scottish Ned. 

He likes the pro Ecosse stuff and can jump over a canal. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tam. Are car tyres meant to hold air, or are they meant to go flat overnight and have screws in?

 

Tam Gravy: "There's no right way for a tyre to be. They can be flat or blown up. It's best for us to accept them as they are and not put too much pressure on or in them."

Then he did a star jump and slid down a pipe. 

 

 

[Jim Bell]

That's nice to know. 

Next I thought I'd get a bit of guidance from Sad Barney Goldsmith. 

He's got a bit of the old depression and likes to express himself accordingly. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Afternoon Barney. 

Are alternators meant to make a high pitched screeching noise? 

 

Sad Barney Goldsmith: "I've only eaten cheese this week. My doings are coming out slow and greasy."

Right.  Well. 

 

Then he cartwheeled off a ledge and fell into a hedge. 

[Jim Bell]

Last up was Yahoo Pauline Butler. 

She likes doing cultural stuff and banana sandwiches. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hiya Pauline. 

Pauline, is there meant to be water in footwells of cars?

Yahoo Pauline Butler: "I wouldn't worry about it. Would you like a banana sandwhich"?

 

Then she ran very fast and jumped over a bollard. 

[Jim Bell]

Always good to get a bit of advice from the crew. 

So, what have we learned?

Well. I seem to have bought a car from far away without looking at it, from a stranger. 

It has some interesting traits and characteristics but seems so far to be "a decent base (TM)"

 

It's had a recent clutch, recent water pump and cam belt and has upgraded rear calipers. 

It's 4wd (my first car with drive at all corners) and about as base as you can get for a modern 4x4. 

 

So what is it?

[Jim Bell]

Anyone that said Vauxhall Frontera was nearly right. 

 

 

Behold!!

 

 

 

 

 

Fleet shot.  

[Barry Cade]

🤩 hero! 

I love these.

[Jim Bell]

What is it?

It's a 2005 Fiat Panda Climbing. 

1.2 pez with 5 on the floor (or dash console in this case). 

110k, with full MOT. 

The 4wd system is described below. 

 

Four wheel drive (4WD) means that all four wheels are driven; offering the benefit that twice the torque of a two wheel drive (2WD) can be discharged to the ground, particularly on slippery surfaces.

In other words, the 4x4 transmission doubles the drive force discharged to the ground and means that the vehicle can overcome considerable differences in level or steep and difficult terrain while also propelling the vehicle forward if two drive wheels are not enough, e.g. over an icy or snow-covered road surface.

The configuration chosen for the Panda 4x4 is a four wheel drive transmission with two differentials and a viscous coupling. With this system, the four wheel drive is engaged automatically (i.e. without requiring any engagement by the driver) and allows outstanding drive torque distribution over the front and rear axle according to the road surface and vehicle application requirements.

For example, on asphalt roads with normal grip, 98% of the drive torque is directed to the front wheels so that the car can behave in a similar way to a front wheel drive vehicle with equally satisfying handling. It also prevents excessive fuel and tyre consumption due to small differences in rotating speed between the front and rear wheels.

If the road surface becomes slippery - and grip is reduced - the front drive wheels tend to skid but the viscous coupling immediately corrects this tendency by stiffening and progressively transmitting a rising drive torque percentage to the rear end to cancel out the skid.

This torque transfer is not perceptible to the driver except as an outstanding ability to get out of trouble, e.g. on snow-covered, icy or muddy surfaces.

The Fiat Panda 4x4 is also equipped with an antislip system that operates during deceleration by exploiting the potential of the ABS (i.e. making use of the sensors that record wheel rpm) and the electronic engine control system to prevent the engine braking torque and the viscous coupling from causing the rear end to lock during sudden decelerations on downhill slopes or on bends. Together with the four wheel drive system, this ensures great driving safety over slippery surfaces.

Lastly, the Panda 4x4 drive system makes full use of the viscous coupling that forms an integral part of the rear differential unit. The advantage of this configuration is that the drive system is engaged in a relatively immediate, automatic fashion to offer traction and effort when difficult road surface conditions make this necessary.

Now it is time to take a closer look at the way a viscous coupling works. The devices contain a set of perforated or slightly finned discs submerged in a viscous fluid with very specific properties: as the temperature rises, fluid viscosity increases.

When the two driven axles slip, they stir up this fluid and cause its temperature to rise. As soon as the temperature rises, the fluid becomes more viscous and tends to drag the discs together and transmit drive torque to the rear axle. This is a striking and clever piece of engineering because the oil acts as a sensor, i.e. it detects the presence of slip between the axles by its temperature - and also as an actuator because it tends to counteract the slipping effect by increasing its viscosity.

 

Which is longhand for: they're great. 

[Jim Bell]

Some photos. It's not the best example, but it was affordable. And seems solid and sturdy. 

 

Pez shot as it is the law. 

 

 

Some snaps from collection day. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Jim Bell]

Interior:

 

 

[Jim Bell]

Powerplant:

 

 

Fiat 500 arbarth rear calipers:

 

 

Can't deny it's a 4x4. 

 

 

[Jim Bell]

It's sprightly enough. Most folk say they're dog slow but round the doors I think they're perky enough with the 1.2.  Getting up to 70mph takes some planning though, and it's pushing 4k cruising at 75 mph on the big roads. Definitely designed for climbing and not running. 

[Jim Bell]

What's wrong with it then?

Well, the airbox is snapped and not really attached. 

 

 

 

[Jim Bell]

The cracked tyres, shit and don't hold air. 

And one has a hitchhiker poked in it. 

[Jim Bell]

There's water in the drivers footwell. 

 

[Jim Bell]

Less than effective.............

[Barry Cade]

MUCH JELOS.

[Jim Bell]

The alternator pulley bearing isnt very unhappy and doesn't mind who finds out. 

 

 

[Jim Bell]

There's your list of things to be improved, so I got started. 

[Jim Bell]

There was no filler cap for the screenwash, which I believe is an IMPORTANT SAFETY FEATURE so I ordered one that would definitely fit from that eBay that they have on the internet these days. That's  an easy win right? Get the ball rolling on the improvement spreadsheet. 

The seller, helpfully send a small selection. 

 

 

Of course, none of them fucking fit. 

 

 

Sad pipe is sad. 

 

 

Being ingenious, I stole the top cover off a pot of home made festive jam and made the best of it. 

 

 

 

 

That'll keep the squirrels out. 

It'll do for now. 

 

[Jim Bell]

On to the tyres. 

The ones that were on were fucked and not the correct size. 

I ordered some Falken Sn110s in the factory correct size 165/65/14.  Reviews seem good and the price was right. 

Of course they're COMICALLY SMALL. 

Off to the races. 

 

 

 

 

 

ARCH GAPE

 

 

Got an alignment done too. Seems to have straightened the front out lovely.