VAG Shite - OMG it may not be that bad....

[Saabnut]

Have you tried starting it with the spare key, if it has one?

 

Yes, it has 2 keys, both have exactly the same affect, though neither will operate the drivers door lock.

[Dave_Q]

Yes the immobiliser is definitely in the clocks on these.

 

I would suggest dismantling the key to check it has an immobiliser chip in it, its a glass capsule thing about the size of a grain of rice. 

 

Otherwise you might have a problem with the aerial thing, or the coding of the key to the immobiliser, but if fiatdaft can remove the immo for you then any or all of those problems should be solved.

[SiC]

I wonder if it's just the pickup ring around the ignition lock that has failed.

[Dave_Q]

Yes, it has 2 keys, both have exactly the same affect, though neither will operate the drivers door lock.

 

It could be that it's had a new ignition or steering column then, the key will turn the lock but the chips won't be coded to the car. 

 

Did it come with any other keys that do fit the door?

[Saabnut]

I have just found out a bit of history. Owned for several years by the PO, it was laid up when the exhaust failed. PO bought a new car, so this sat for 6 months by which time the battery was flatter than a flat thing. It was jump started with the intention of driving it to a local garage. However, it would not run beyond a couple of seconds, so was towed to the garage. Garage said cat had failed, but before we replace that we need to sort the running problem. PO said he would think about it. 6 months later, irate garage owner demanded removal, so PO found a sucker to buy it, which is where this thread starts....

[SiC]

I wonder if the low battery corrupted the immobiliser data. I think removing the immobiliser is realistically the easiest option. Or get a ECU set and replace all the parts associated with the immobiliser.

[Dave_Q]

You can recode the immobiliser with vagcom if you have the key code, rather than replacing it all.

 

You do need a new chip for each key https://rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mpre=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.co.uk%2Fulk%2Fitm%2F253245023718

 

If you don't have the key code you can use vagtacho, the real one is pretty pricey but I did my old Aldi and Fabia with the pirate version for £15 off ebay.

[Guest]

Try re adapting the ECU to the immobilizer, worked a few times for me on the breakdowns..

 

http://www.ross-tech.com/vag-com/cars/immobilizer2.html

[Saabnut]

Thank you all for the help. Sun is shining here today so will have another play today.

[Dave_Q]

Try Barry's suggestion first to sync the ecu to the immo/clocks, if you still have no start with the same fault code after that then scan module 17 - instruments which should give more detail on why the immobiliser is blocking starting.

 

Good luck!

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

You can recode the immobiliser with vagcom 

 

 

I thought that was for thrush?

[Saabnut]

Well, that is another day of my life I will not get back! I hate this Golf shite!

 

I hate to admit defeat when it comes to cars, but this piece of shite has done it. Connected up the VAGCOM, scanned and cleared the faults. Followed the instructions and re-synced the mobiliser. All good. Started it and it stopped - no change there then. So, cleared the codes againand towed it out. Bump started it and it cut out straight away. Scanned it again, and the immobiliser fault is back again.

 

So after a four days spread over 2 weeks of messing with this I am at exactly the same point I was when I started. My friend on UKSaabs has the same answer for any fault on any VW, which he claims he can cure for seven quid. Yes, the cost of a gallon of petrol and a box of matches. This is now known on UKS as the standard VW fix. My friend, who supplied this peace of shit has said he will have it back for spares. I have come to the conclusion that the immobiliser has failed and the only solution is to remove it (which involves towing the think 100 miles each way to the very kind ASer who offered to help, or an instrument cluster swap and recode of keys, neither of which I can be bothered with, especially as the Polo seems to be behaving itself. The damned Golf has seen me frozen, repeatedly cut my hands and generally distracted me from worthwhile projects, so enough is enough.

 

Sod it, I am going to go and start a crowdfunding page to raise the seven quid!

[SiC]

Where are you based? I seem to remember it's somewhere far north and very cold part of the country?

[tul66]

Surely we can have a raffle with the prize being the one who strikes the matches.

I'd pay a couple of quid for that.

[Saabnut]

Where are you based? I seem to remember it's somewhere far north and very cold part of the country?

 

Indeed, about 20 miles south of Aberdeen

[Guest]

Surely we can have a raffle with the prize being the one who strikes the matches.

I'd pay a couple of quid for that.

£20 quid if I can take a sledgehammer to it first

[Supernaut]

Can I pay £25 to drive a telehandler through the side of it?

 

I've always wanted to do that since getting my licence for them.

[Guest]

Can I pay £25 to drive a telehandler through the side of it?

 

I've always wanted to do that since getting my licence for them.

Another £25 from me if I can watch.

[SiC]

LP remaps diesel VAG. He should have the leads and tools to disable the immo, even if it's a petrol. Also he's up in your neck of the woods.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Will it run on easy start? 

[Datsuncog]

My friend on UKSaabs has the same answer for any fault on any VW, which he claims he can cure for seven quid. Yes, the cost of a gallon of petrol and a box of matches.

 

Does he live in Belfast?

 

 

 

 

FIXT

[Saabnut]

Will it run on easy start? 

 

No, the immobiliser cuts in and kills it

[Supernaut]

Surely the only answer is for you to buy the broken £1000 Range Rover, and drop it on the Golf?

Play conkers with them! You just need two cranes...

[Saabnut]

First, let me make it clear, when I say VAG shite may not be that bad, I am NOT referring to the fecking Golf, that IS that bad! I have had enough, removed my battery and arranged for the friend twat that supplied me with it to come and collect it and turn it into spares. No tears will be shed.

 

But, the Polo! Oh dear, it has let the side down to the extent I can no longer state I hate VAG shite, just most VAG shite! After a pipe burst in my place in France, destroying half the house, a long and complicated insurance claim followed. To be fair, the insurance company have been great, but distance and language problems have complicated things, but at last the builders were due to start According to friends in France, they had started but I needed to visit to check on progress, and pay the next installment if all OK. I planned on taking the Saab as usual, door to door being 939 miles. I was all ready to go when OMGSNOWCHAOS arrived, so I delayed for a week, which meant I could attend the funeral of one of my late mothers neighbours. Snow thawed and funeral attended, but was asked if I could collect a few bits to take to the charity shop for them, so a plan was formed. Collect bits Thursday, deliver to charity shop Friday and head to France Saturday. Perfect.

 

Thursday I collected bits (filled the Saab estate to the roof with seats folded!) and headed home. Thursday night came the news that more OMGSC was due Friday night, what to do? Car is fully loaded and needs sorting before disposal, snow on the way. Hiding behind Jaggy McJaaaagface sat the Polo, with a full tank of Derv and nearly 300 miles covered since purchase. France in that? WCPGW? Loaded my stuff into the Polo and left home at 1530. Refueled at Oxfordish and arrived at Folkstone at 0145, with the snow chasing me across the midlands. Very little settled as I went through, but another couple of hours would have made all the difference.

 

Arrived in France and another 300 miles saw me at my pad by 0945 local time. First tank of fuel averaged 52mpg, second 55mpg. Sat at an indicated 75 in the UK, and 85 in France. I don't think the Polo had been out of town for about 6 years with its PO. As I type this, in a mild but wet France, the car has covered 1460 miles in my ownership and it will need half a litre of oil adding before heading home at the end of next week. If it stops raining I will take a pic or two of the VW by some of the local landmarks.

 

As I get 49mpg out of the Saab at the same speeds, I would rather use that for long runs, as sofa soft comfort the Polo lacks, but it has proved it is capable of doing the run if required, not bad for 200 quid! Of course, if it fails to get me home, I may change my mind....

[spartacus]

Good luck, I've been really lucky on my journey of the same distance to France. It's a good idea to stop every now and then, keep us posted.

[Zelandeth]

Polo should still have the wonderfully odd but rather cool blue and red dash lighting won't it?  I lost all interest in any VAG vehicle after that vanished.  Drove a few 98/99 Passats at work and they felt very nicely put together - but never actually lived with them, plus they were only 4-5 years old then...

 

If you're ever passing by and need a break from the motorway you're always welcome at our place in Milton Keynes.  Only five minutes from either M1 or A5.  Make a change from me lowering the tone at your place with Ladas or Skodas...

[Ghosty]

Yep, the red and blue dash lasted quite a long time on these - until at least 2004, 2009 if the facelift didn't do away.

[kinkersaab]

It would only seem to fair to share which purveyor of fine motor vehicles you aquired this wonderfull car from? 

[Guest Hooli]

One of the things that would stop me ever considering buying VAG shite is the horrible red dash lighting, I hate it.

[Saabnut]

Yes, this has got the mostly blue with bits of red dash lighting, it is strange!

 

No photos today, despite the sun shining and 11c ideal photo conditions, as I have embraced the full French experience and just got back from a spiffing 4 course lunch with large quantities of red wine which lasted for 3.5 hours. The French may be shite at auto electrics, but they are bloody brilliant at lunch!

 

As for the exalted supplier of this fine VAG shite, I may as well fess up and declare it was none other than Kinkersaab of this very parish! Over the years I have bought much shiteness from him, and should also point out that should you ever be looking for better quality but more boring shite, you could do far worse than contact Kinkersaab regarding the stock at Banchory Car Centre. After all, if you people do not buy quality shite, where am I going to feed my cheap shite habit?