Datsuncog's Heaps: Sept 2023 - Another Year's T-Met Exemption Certificate...

[Datsuncog]

Oh, it's been driven plenty over the past four months - and driven pretty hard, mostly at motorway speed, and sometimes at something above motorway speed (hence the unwelcome ANPR tug at the end of June).

A quick check suggests it's covered 2,000 miles since returning to the road in mid-March, so I'm not sure the EML's on because of a lack of use - and it was bowling along merrily at 70 at the point the light pinged on. 

I'd thrown a Redex chaser down the filler neck along with the first few tankfuls once I got the battery issue fixed, just to try and keep things sweet after the months of inactivity, but I'll have a go with the Cataclean stuff too and see if that helps.

I'll be taking it out tomorrow morning for a motorway blast along the M5/M2, so we'll see if the light stays off...

[Datsuncog]

200 miles since Friday morning; and no sign yet of the EML returning.

Promising.

Though, in best Cosmic Joker fashion, when I went to plug in my iPod to the mechless Pioneer head unit for some 7am DJ Shadow to soothe the soul, the whole unit stopped working. It still hasn't come back on again.

It was fitted correctly using the proper connector looms, rather than a rat's nest of bare wires, sticky tape and chocoblock, so not quite sure what the issue is to cause a total power loss. Fuse is fine, and it has done this intermittently before, but only for a few minutes.

Typically, removing the unit to check the power feed etc will require dismantling half the dashboard including the HVAC system...

Hey ho.

[Datsuncog]

Yaris MOT funsies still to come this evening.

Due to COVIDGEDDON, the little Toyoyo has been on a grace MOT since last August.

Given that it spent much of 2020 unfairly quarantined behind tonne bags of topsoil and aggregate while we cheerily destroyed the garden, it's no real surprise that it's clocked just over 6,000 miles since its last MOT in August '19 - the vast majority of which were covered by MrsDC for her work commute, up until the point that everything stopped last March.

It's had a hard enough life, this little battler, and I'm not sure if tonight's incoming slip of paper is going to bring an equally hard decision.

My original plan was simply to buck it in for the test and see how badly it fails before embarking on a programme of rectification/ ringing CarTakeBack, but because the only available test centre's 30-odd miles away, and there's been widespread heavy rain today, I went down at lunchtime and slung a new pair of Toyos on the front, since the not-very-old Michelins turned out to be quite badly split right the way round the upper shoulder on both sides, much to my annoyance. I'm not sure I'd even have trusted them to get me there and back, let alone pass the test.

I also slapped on a new set of wipers, as the current ones had perfectly good rubber blades but the carriers had rusted and expanded so they would no longer follow the windscreen profile, leaving me with unhelpfully large unswept portions.

And I tried to distract from the awful-looking rust-weeping steel rims by disguising them with a set of cheapo Ring wheeltrims.

I even went as far as attacking its single bleary headlight with a bottle of T-Cut, in a half-assed effort to make it appear marginally less opaque (the other was smashed by a volatile pedestrian with a beer bottle when the car was only three years old, but weirdly the replacement still looks fresh thirteen years on).

I'm sure the tester will be so impressed that they'll definitely overlook the scabacious suspension turrets, bubbling round the rear end of the sills, clicking from the o/s driveshaft, and worrying whining noise from the alternator pulley - all which have come to light over the past few days...

I haven't even taken a look underneath to see how the subframes are holding up. I daren't.

 

The fingers, they are crossed... but the feeling of doom, it has already descended.

[Datsuncog]

Well now, there's a twist...

Having played the now-traditional game of 'hunt the blown bulb' (this year, it was the n/s sidelight - I swear, every MOT day it pops a bulb, even if they were all confirmed good the night before), I managed to rock up to the test centre good and early.

But, because we're in COVID times, kids, drivers don't get to enter the test centre anymore - so everyone gets to mill around out the front like lost souls, looking baffled.

Still, at least it's not absolutely throwing it down, like it was earlier.

Ahead of me was an Alfa GT Blackline, with the consecutive number plate to the one CogSr used to lease back around '06.

I couldn't help but snicker as I overheard the hapless driver explain to the tester lad about all the things that didn't work, like the windows and the seat adjustment.

And then it was my go, and I stopped snickering.

'Neath cold Scrabo's gaze... well, it's in the lap of the gods now.

(That's Scrabo Tower artlessly cropped from the top of the piccie; bit of a local landmark.)

Not sure if having an LDV recovery truck going in after the Yaris is a harbinger or not...

Still, there's some top shite cluttering up the side of the test centre, so that's something to take my mind off the impending failure...

Hey ho. Updates/autopsy to follow, as ever.

[bunglebus]

A Sierra in Ireland that hasn't become a rally slag? Amazing

[Datsuncog]

Huh.

Unexpected.

After what felt like an age, watching other cars come back round again to be dropped off with their owner, eventually the Yaris reappeared.

The tester bloke got out, looking vaguely pained.

"Front brakes aren't great..." were his opening words (and this was genuinely news to me, as I'd had the brakes fully redone front and back two years ago - and they've actually given me less cause for concern than much else).

So I waited for the rest of the litany of flaws which I felt was inevitably to follow, but instead he just waved his hand in a see-saw action to imply a degree of finely balanced judgement, before finishing, "... the pass certificate's on the seat."

And that was that.

I can only surmise that NI's test centres are so slaughtered with the backlog of tests due to COVID - and the cracked inspection lifts issue that put every centre out of commission in late 2019/early 2020 - that the testers are under instructions only to fail cars if they look like they've been dredged from the seabed.

Well I never.

So now I'm celebrating in a gratuitously undeserved self-congratulatory manner in a McDonald's carpark, soaking in the evening sunlight over Scrabo while playing Mogwai at an injudicious volume, and trying to pretend like it's twenty years ago.

Who knows, after this, maybe anything's possible...

A very good evening to you all.

[hairnet]

were any extra pieces of paper with harry ferguson on them invalved

hai!

[Datsuncog]

4 hours ago, hairnet said:

were any extra pieces of paper with harry ferguson on them invalved

hai!

Amazingly, no there weren't - but here's a funny thing.

(Sort of)

Earlier in the day, knowing that the test was miles from home and at tea-time, I'd bought myself a pack of coconut fingers from the Centra beside the motor factor that sold me the wipers and wheeltrims, just to save myself from Acute Starvation.

Which is no laughing matter, you'll agree.

I arrived over in Ards about half an hour before the test, and even though I was fairly peckish by that stage I declined to reach into my bag and start stuffing my gub - as I'd only just vacuumed the interior, and didn't want to get dessicated coconut all over the place.

After receiving the shocking news of the successful test, I pulled over outside the test centre to steady my nerves with a bun - only to find there were no coconut fingers anywhere in the vehicle.

Had... the tester lifted them from the back seat, assuming that they were a generous 'donation' to the Jubilee Road Vehicle Testing Centre's staff canteen?

Was this the underlying reason for my unexpected pass?

Was I now likely to get done for bribing a public official?

So many thoughts, so little sense.

Eventually, a message to MrsDC revealed that the pack of coconut fingers had not made it beyond the table in the hall. I'd left them behind.

So, no bun til I got home - but at least I can be sure* that the MOT pass was all above-board, and there was no funny business going on.

That said, I wasn't all that impressed to see a VW Fox leaving with a fresh MOT, as well as a completely flat rear tyre...

Almost a shame that MOTs are no longer compulsory on cars over 40 years of age, as it seems like a good time to put an MOT on your cherished* cla$$ic?

 

5 hours ago, bunglebus said:

A Sierra in Ireland that hasn't become a rally slag? Amazing

I'm equally shocked - as it's filthy with green algae but actually looks quite sound for an old Ford.

Currently taxed - but not MOT'd for eleven years?

There must be a story here - possibly some sort of training vehicle for apprentice testers?

I'm sure they receive a dozen offers a day for it from Ford nuts.

[hairnet]

You ate then buns and forgot cos.old 😛

[Datsuncog]

2 hours ago, hairnet said:

You ate then buns and forgot cos.old 😛

Ohhh, I'm definitely old...

I saw a clean Corsa B the other day with a young fella driving it - clearly not long passed his test, since he was displaying R-plates in the windscreen... then I realised the car must have been a fair bit older than him, and probably even older than my Viva HC was when I started my driving career in 1997, chuffed as anything with my retro wheels...

Yikes. 

The coconut fingers were pretty good, though. Very low rate of coconut droppage; the bakers have evidently put a bit of care into their coconut-to-icing ratio.

11/10, would leave on the hall console again.

[bunglebus]

I have to say my opinion of you has diminished since I found out you were a coconut connoisseur. 

'orrid stuff

[Datsuncog]

Well, the funny thing is I normally despise coconut, and will refuse Bounty bars/ Macaroons/ Raspberry Ruffles/ Coconut Creams etc, should they be offered - but a well-crafted coconut finger is a different matter altogether.

The icing/coconut ratio has to be correct, though. Otherwise it's like chewing sawdust.

What can I say, I'm highly selective...

[hairnet]

3 minutes ago, Datsuncog said:

Well, the funny thing is I normally despise coconut, and will refuse Bounty bars/ Macaroons/ Raspberry Ruffles/ Coconut Creams etc, should they be offered - but a well-crafted coconut finger is a different matter altogether.

The icing/coconut ratio has to be correct, though. Otherwise it's like chewing sawdust.

What can I say, I'm mentally irregular [/rocky]

 

[Datsuncog]

I'll not say you're wrong...

[bunglebus]

Funny thing is I also despise Bounty and coconut items - but I like peshwari naan which is full of it. Maybe I am too.

[Split_Pin]

4 hours ago, Datsuncog said:

I will refuse Bounty bars/ Macaroons/ Raspberry Ruffles/ Coconut Creams 

 

[Datsuncog]

6 hours ago, bunglebus said:

I have to say my opinion of you has diminished since I found out you were a coconut connoisseur. 

 

1 hour ago, Split_Pin said:

 

 

🤗😘

[Datsuncog]

Further fun has been continuing throughout August with this little blighter...

Just to recap, you may recall the Forester's 'check engine' light first pinged on in early July, while proceeding at pace on the motorway, giving me the OMFG ENGINE FAILURE DOOM heebie-jeebies borne of several years of Renault ownership.

Some dicking about with a superannuated phone running Torque Lite, coupled with a cheapo eBay bluetooth OBD2 reader, advised that it was an emissions sensor acting up - and further 'net searches of Subaru forums advised that it was a common enough fault code occurring with Fuji Heavy Industries products as they enter their upper teenage years, and it didn't necessarily mean impending doom. It was most likely one among many sensors failing, and throwing up an intermittent fault signal.

So I cleared the light using the app, and went about my business.

All was fine for about 300 miles, and then the EML pinged back on - again, while driving at 70mph on the same stretch of motorway.

Not really a surprise, but a mild disappointment nonetheless. Even though I should know by now that "wish upon a star" isn't really an approved mechanic technique - despite being the one I rely on pretty much exclusively.

So, while getting some Yaris bits and pieces earlier this month, I invested a further £17.99 in a bottle of Cataclean and slung this witches' brew into the Forester's tank once it dropped to about a quarter full, as recommended.

About 50 miles later, I went to start it one morning and noticed the light was now off.

Yaaay. Result.

 

Later that day, MrsDC casually mentioned that the EML was now lit on the Yaris' dashboard.

Boooo.

Now, I don't know whether Toyota is particularly unusual in this respect, but it has a whole host of idiot lights that ping on and off for the oddest of reasons.

For example, changing a wheel (and especially running on the space-saver) will cause the ABS light to come on for a while, while the EML can be triggered by someone else driving the car for a bit.

When this issue first cropped up a few years back, a squizz through the Yaris handbook yielded the nugget that the EML could indicate - amongst other things - that the car's ECU was in 'learning' mode, activated by a change in driving styles which caused the car's electronic brain to re-evaluate how it applied the Variable Valve Timing programming.

Generally, whenever this occurs the EML stays on for a hundred miles or so before flicking itself off again. Since the car had just been MOT'd, it was reasonable to assume that this may have been provoked by having the tits revved off it by the tester, including several emergency stops on the rollers, plus having been hoicked up in the air by the tyre fitter and the test centre in quick succession.

So last Wednesday we went out for the day, and took the Yaris. After about 60 miles, the EML extinguished.

Yaaay.

 

On Saturday, we went out again and took the Forester.

While heading north on the M2, the sodding EML came back on again. Probably about 200 miles since it had previously extinguished itself, and 150 miles since refuelling.

Boooo. Not ideal.

I haven't yet hoked out the old Samsung mobile and rigged it up to the OBD2 port, but I'd expect to find the same exhaust sensor fault code again.

Which leads me to wonder whether my best course of action lies in continuing to knock the light off using the Torque app, in best Whack-a-Mole stylee, or if  I should take it down to an actual competent mechanic and see if they can diagnose the actual fault and maybe do something about it.

 

Naturally, my inner cheap-ass is plumping for the lazy option, but at the same time there's the additional problem of the non-working driver's electric window, previously mentioned - which has been a bit of a pain during these difficult times, as I've been unable to easily use things like ticketed car park barriers, drive-thru windows, or indeed communicate effectively with vaccination centre marshals.

A few weeks ago, I made a concerted effort to try to find the fault, and dismantled the door and the combined window/central locking control module in an attempt to find a bad connection or whatever.

I didn't find anything of note, but when I put it back together again, now none of the windows worked.

Damn, I'm good.

Of course, this was particularly brilliant* because the other day it was about 23°c; the sunroof's cracked from front to back so I daren't open it, and the aircon's utterly borked, and probably has been since 2009.

So MrsDC was delighted* to find herself travelling in a small portable oven in heavy bank holiday weekend traffic, moving at a crawl through the Belfast suburbs for many a long hour...

The central locking and electric mirror functions are all still fine, but now the window buttons do nada. Hmmm. I may also need to seek professional assistance on this one.

 

The suddenly non-functioning aftermarket Pioneer stereo also proved to be something of a puzzle. A bit of messing around with the multimeter and swapping over fuses determined that there was power getting to the head unit ok, but the display remained resolutely blank and brick-like.

After much pratting about and head-scratching, I failed to elicit any sign of life from the Pioneer, and eventually took the cheap option and just shoved the original factory CD unit back into the dash, which is now working just dandy.

So possibly the power module in the bought-new Pioneer unit simply failed after a scant 18 months of use, which is a bit shit to be honest.

The fact that the power cut in and out for a few weeks prior to going dark altogether might suggest that there was a connection breaking up; the PCB protruding from the back of the unit makes me wonder if power components have been soldered directly to the board, which perhaps isn't optimal for a unit installed in a car... a case of dry joints stopping play?

A replacement mechless unit of a similar nature by JVC would cost me about £50 from Halfords, though I daresay the internet could furnish me with something quite similar for less.

Or I could prise the back off this ungrateful bastard, and fire up the gas soldering iron...

Still, having a functional radio of some description again meant that the incessant whooshing from the pillarless door seals was less noticeable, even if I have lost input connectivity for my iPod and phone Spotify compatibility thingummy.

In a rare stroke of luck, however, I was chucking some hedge clippings and other bits of detritus off at the tip the other day, and happened to find a box of dumped CDs in the waste compactor thing.

A quick riffle revealed a distressing amount of Phil Collins and Celine Dion, which were allowed to remain there, but I managed to grab a few random NOW compilations and others of that nature (all in surprisingly good condition, disc-wise).

So although pretty much everything else on this car feels like it's broken, at least I can still get a bit of Outhere Brothers cranked up...

Slim pickings, but hey, I'll take what I can.

Especially as the EML came back on the Yaris this morning...

EML?

FML.

[Datsuncog]

Went down to Tesco for some cat fud this evening, in the Forester.

At some point on the journey, the EML flicked itself off again - cos by the time I arrived in the car park, the dash was an ocean of calm.

It remained off for the return leg of the journey, too.

So, the burning question on everyone's lips is - just for how long will it stay off?

And are both cars just fucking with me now, purely for the lolz?

Place your bets, kids...

[bunglebus]

3 hours ago, Datsuncog said:

Went down to Tesco for some cat fud this evening

and unleaded too I guess?

[beko1987]

6 hours ago, bunglebus said:

and unleaded too I guess?

*one big bill later*

"ah sir we found the issue, your catalytic convertor was clogged completely with whiskas meaty chunks and gravy..." 

[Datsuncog]

11 hours ago, bunglebus said:

and unleaded too I guess?

Oi, there's a good 45 miles left in that tank, I'll have you know!

I tend to avoid Tesco fuel, in the main - there was an incident a few years ago where they got a dodgy batch into our local store, but then vigorously denied it was in any way to do with their fuel.

The dozen or so cars lying broken down in the shopping centre's exit lane immediately after filling up were, apparently, pure coincidence...

If I'm passing the Go station on Friday, I'll probably fill up there. Unleaded at £1.279 a litre is the cheapest by a fair whack locally, and it's generally decent stuff.

Of course, the filler cap states that the Forester should only be run on Super Unleaded... maybe I should treat it to a fill of the full-fat stuff, just in case that makes a difference. It's been drinking boggo without complaint for three years, like.

[wuvvum]

Liking the obscure literary reference in the thread title change.

[Datsuncog]

Heh, very well done!

I was going to offer an unspecified prize if anyone managed to get the reference, but decided it might come across as a bit of a twattish thing to do... still, PM me your address and I'll be happy to send you a completely free Pioneer head unit (non-functioning)!!

[Mr Pastry]

54 minutes ago, wuvvum said:

Liking the obscure literary reference in the thread title change.

I'm glad I wasn't the only one!  

[Rust Collector]

I'm going to ask something painfully obvious that you've probably already done, but I have to ask as I do stuff like this all the time 😅

Have you pressed this switch? In that photo, it looks like it's set in the position that would disable the power windows - when it's in the position that all the windows are functional, it should be sitting higher and a red band visible around the base from memory.

[Datsuncog]

55 minutes ago, Rust Collector said:

I'm going to ask something painfully obvious that you've probably already done, but I have to ask as I do stuff like this all the time 😅

Have you pressed this switch? In that photo, it looks like it's set in the position that would disable the power windows - when it's in the position that all the windows are functional, it should be sitting higher and a red band visible around the base from memory.

Well, blow me down...

Before:

After:

It's a subtle change, but...

Holy cats, a sudden influx of air. 75% of windows are now functional, hopefully preventing a further rotisserie situation from occurring.

Once again...

Damn, I'm good.

There's no defence, other than I must have depressed the 'windows disabled' button while shoving the panel back into the door armrest. And then failed to notice the big button, or make the obvious connection between what it does and what my problem was.

All thanks, dude - folks pointing out the glaringly obvious is something I definitely benefit from on this thread!!

[bunglebus]

But are you going to admit it to the Mrs or pretend you fixed it with skillz?

[Datsuncog]

Heh, I'm also too stupid to consider that as an option... I've already informed her that there was nothing wrong with the majority of the windows, other than the fact I'd been permitted to monkey around with them...

[Datsuncog]

Well kids, probably time for something of an update here, as Things Are Happening...

Over the past month or so the EMLs on both cars have continued to flicker on and off, most irritatingly.

One thing I did notice is that the Forester will putter around the town and its environs quite happily, with no hint of any engine warning light, BUT after exactly three miles of running at motorway speed, it pings on. I noticed that a pattern was forming when the light reappeared at exactly the same point on the M2 as it did back in July, and then I started anticipating it, and... yep. Whenever it comes on, that's nearly always the situation which seems to trigger it. 

So it seems that it's something to do with how exhaust gases are picked up by the sensors when it's running above 2,500 rpm, which rather defeats the 'Italian tune-up' solution that I've been favouring. The Cataclean magic voodoo soup didn't really do anything, it seems. And then, after about 200 miles, it flicks itself off again.

Obviously I've got no further with the issue, beyond making this observation.

I've no idea what the Yaris' problem is - it had behaved itself fine for two weeks, then the EML came on again last night - other than possibly it's screaming for an oil and filter change. I should probably do that. Probably.

However, if that was all that was wrong, I'd be happy as the proverbial clam.

 

The Thursday before last, with online rumblings about fuel shortages and a Friday morning funeral to attend in another part of the country, I went down and filled the Forester's tank.

On the drive home from the garage, I happened to notice that the steering wheel was sitting at a bit of an odd angle while the wheels were directed straight ahead. 

Hmmm.

Now, a few weeks back I'd clonked the n/s wheel quite hard on a kerb while trying to extricate myself from Sainsburys, so I made a mental note to take it over to my trusted tyre place and see about getting the tracking adjusted. Annoying, but hopefully fixable.

The following morning, I made my way down to the wilds of Glastry for the funeral. And, while weaving along some very narrow, very rural roads on the way back from the old churchyard, I came to notice an odd, metallic 'tchk' noise whenever I dabbed the brakes - seemingly coming from the front o/s wheel. Somehow, it seemed like a 'loose' noise, if that makes sense.

My first thought was brake pads, but then the discs and pads were all swapped last year, and there's only about 4,000 miles on them.

I drove on, mildly perturbed as the noise continued, and when I came to Belfast I pulled over into a layby and put the front wheels on full lock.

Ah.

Yeah, that doesn't look brilliant now, does it?

The wishbone seems to have rotted right along a mounting join, which would probably explain the 'loose' feeling, and the steering wheel taking on a bit of a slant.

I scuttled round to the other side and checked the nearside control arm, but it looked absolutely fine - in fact, suspiciously so, with factory black paint still visible, rather than the crusty mess of its opposite number.

At a guess, the nearside arm's been replaced previously - while the rotten offside one is quite possibly the eighteen year old original.

Seems that the extended MOT has done the Subaru no favours - it was last tested in October 2019. As you can see, it hasn't rusted right the way through - but I'd absolutely no intention of running something in this state at motorway speeds.

I weighed up whether to ring Autoaid and get them to trailer it back to Casa Datsuncog on the Big Yellow Wagon of Shame, but I didn't much fancy a four or five hour wait to travel ten miles - so I opted to drive it home, very slowly and carefully, through the 20mph city centre and then home along quiet 30mph roads.

A quick squizz online indicates that replacement parts are available - starting at about £120 a throw.

However, the absolutely horrendous state of this component got me wondering about the general condition of the rest of the car, underneath. The long-delayed MOT falls due on 10 October, and my usual cheerily blasé plan of action had been to buck it in for the test and see what it fails on, then fix as needed. 

I rang down to my Mechanic of Choice, who unfortunately is suffering from acute staffing shortages, and they advised that they won't even be able to look at it until the end of October. So it's booked in for then, with the request that they get it up on the lift and make an honest appraisal of how it all appears underneath, and then we'll decide on a plan of action. There's no point buying and fitting a control arm if the rear suspension's held on with fresh air and the jacking points have the consistency of marshmallows.

The last time I personally inspected the underside (in late 2019, while it was in getting the stainless exhaust fitted) it appeared really quite good, and since it was off the road with the battery/ alarm issue between December and March, it missed out on the worst of last winter's gritting. But, it's an 18 year old Subaru... and I'm aware of how very badly things can go in a short space of time.

It's going nowhere until then, so...

I cashed in the last of the tax before the end of September, in an effort not to fritter away yet more money, and in the meantime I'll have a think. I've a figure in my head of how much I'm willing to spend to fix this old bus, and another figure of how much I think it might fetch as a breaker - the turbo engine with the manual gearbox are, I understand, potentially rare enough to make this worth someone's while.

I really like it, but in many ways it's a tired and scruffy car with a number of faults that would likely make most punters walk away (cracked bumpers, non-functioning window, split driver's seat, borked aircon, a crack right the way along the full-length moon roof...)

I don't want to say it's the end of the line, but if past experience is anything to go by, cars that end up down the side of the house on SORN tend not to end up on the road again.

So the Yaris has now been pressed into service as frontline transport once again... and a trip up to Antrim yesterday reminded me of just how clicky the driveshafts are becoming...

Ah now. Cars, eh?