Les voitures de merde

[Karmann Ghiaman]

Not a difficult list to compile:http://cars.uk.msn.com/News/Top_ten_article.aspx?cp-documentid=500173

[pogweasel]

That's like an Autoshite TEN TEN BESTEST CARS EVAR. I'd home all of them.Well maybe not the Dauphine or facel.

[garethj]

I'd have any of them

[Guest greenvanman]

Well maybe not the Dauphine

Come on Pog, what's not to love about the Dauphine?

 

 

Slow is the new fast

[Justin Case]

Follow the 'click here to find used Avantimes from £9,000' link in the hall of fame and you will find eight for sale, the dearest of which is £8,495. I think that just about sums up the well-researched (?) article

 

And course it's based on an mpv, otherwise it would have looked like this

 

[Mr Lobster]

Yup, I'd be happy with any of them - Dauphine as long as it was a Gordini although Facels not that appealing.R9, Rancho and GS oh yes please!

[Cheggers]

If they're the worst, the best must be pretty damned impressive...

[Marty]

. All of which goes to prove the French shouldn’t be allowed to buy cars, let alone build them.

How cruel, I can find no fault with any of those cars, all bloody fantastic.

[simmo]

Can't believe the Pogo 604 made the list, I used to PDI and stick the plates on these when I first started work in 1977. Used to enjoy taking them out for a road test, not quite as good as a 504 TI though. The early 604s with points (2 sets of) and carbs (1 big & 1 small ) cars were easy (for a peugeot) to work on but it went a bit pearshaped with the later injection and electronic ingnition. The things used to eat caps and rotors and book time was something like 3 hours to change as the dist was buried under all the inj junk.Peugeot claimed, at the time, the 604 turbo diesel was the first 100+ mph production oil burner.

[Baz]

it was slow, uncomfortable, ugly and rust-prone.

Strange then, that the first comment that ANY passenger makes about either my rust-free 22 year old R9, or my rust-free 25 year old R11, is how comfortable they are!

 

Has this muppet ever even been NEAR an R9?

[Mr Lobster]

I think it would be difficult to accuse any French car of being uncomfortable really, but R9's and R11's were always a comfortable car to drive.

[Guest greenvanman]

I think it would be difficult to accuse any French car of being uncomfortable

To this day the best ride quality I've experienced was in my Dad's old Citroen CX. My old 405 was pretty good too, without any of the wobbly wallowy stuff that my small Renaults (4 and 5) had.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

BL Princess wedge is the current title holder for me.

[Ratdat]

Author of this horseshit, Henry Biggs "comes from a background in PR and tabloid journalism"No shit.

[Karmann Ghiaman]

Yeah, yeah, Henry Biggs is up there with Clarkson. I love the Dauphine and the Ami. Also interested in aviation & have had endless internet discussions with other air-anoraks on the sheer brilliant awfulness of French engineering. This one would probably take some beating:

 

[Dead_E23]

Author of this horseshit, Henry Biggs "comes from a background in PR and tabloid journalism"

I suspect that he "comes from a background of errr... school, quite recently" could be closer to the mark - writing top 10s for MSN isn't exactly the pinnacle of journalism. His Dad probably works there, and 'put in a good word for him' Still - good for Henry. It's ill informed pieces like this that help to keep shite affordable!btw: Facel Vega Excellence - yum yum. I've only ever seen one in the metal and it was in dire condition, but still a thing of beauty.

[Ratdat]

There were the remains of two Facel vega's in John Wrights yard at Holbeach until it closed a couple of years ago. Not much left of them but still a rare sight in a scrapyard!

 

 

[Guest]

Here's another one by the same author.....10 Worst Italian cars: http://cars.uk.msn.com/news/top_ten_art ... tid=475419I especially like how it has a picture of a widebody Countach, which had the widest rear tyres of any production car of the time, alongside the "it had skinny tyres" argument.Congratulations on your article! Dolt.

[MrRegieRitmo]

This might be blasphemous but I actually think the statements about the cars are quite fair, but that doesn't stop me liking them, infact I like them in spite of what's being said & they can advise me against them till they're blue in the face. The only one which seems uncalled for is the Renault 9, what negative characteristics did it have that all other Renaults didn't have at that time?! Answer none. I don't know whether I'm pleased or disappointed that R14 was surprisingly omitted! At least Ritmo /Strada is on the Italian one which I've read before. It's an Autoshite badge of honour as far as I'm concerned!

[Karmann Ghiaman]

What is the pinnacle of journalism anyway? Lord Widmerpool pointed out that maybe 'the Editor of the Times' might have a little social cachet, but that otherwise newspapermen were a pretty shabby lot. Similarly our old friend, Jeremy Clarkson is, first & foremost, a writer - not a great driver or expert on engineering. Lewis Hamilton & Stirling Moss are great drivers, but they can't write, someone else does that for them. QED. The MSN lists seem to be quite well-informed; slightly better, at least, than getting the purchasers of lads' mags (can't really call them 'readers') to vote by mobile phone.

 

Haven't yet seen a list of ZE TOP TEN VORST HEVVER CHERMAN KARRS, but recall that the man who put the Beetle into an all-time 'Worst Ever' List found that his life was no longer worth living after it was published!

[AnthonyG]

Renault 9s were not rustprone - in fact it was the first Renault to show a marked reluctance to dissolve. Plus I don't think Pug 604s were particularly rust prone - not compared to anything else in 1978 that wasn't a Volvo, Saab, Land Rover or Mercedes. BMWs of that era were terrible for rust - how come that never gets mentioned?How about 10 crap utterly boring German modern cars people only buy for the badge/because it's the first one on the company list:1 VW Touraeg - words fail me2 BMW 1 series - cack. utter cack. and there's no space in the back3 BMW 3 series - the reppy ones, not the 335 coupe which I admit is rather nice4 VW Eos - yuck, a golf with a folding roof5 Audi A3 - humdrum6 Audi A4 TDbloodyi 'Sportline' (trying to con everybody into thinking its a S4 with some little badges and lower profile alloy wheels) 7 Mini Clubman/Traveller thing with the pointless door8 BMW X3 - Suvliteweight 9 Mercedes C class hatchback - do they still make this? 10 Silver/Black Mercedes E class - Heathrow's answer to the Lincoln Town Car. 95% of these I see in central London have the little green disc in the back window that denotes a London licensed mini cab. Got that off my chest.....

[Spottedlaurel]

Can you slip the Golf+ thing and the Touran into that list too? I find the latter to be an utterly depressing car, and if the Golf did its job well there’d be no need for either of them.

[AnthonyG]

sure can - lets make it a list of 20 boring new German cars people with no imagination and access to lease purchase buy!11 Golf Plus12 Touran (aren't these two effectively the same thing a Golf MPV?)13 VW Fox - shite bit of mexican tin for those desperate for a 'fow-vey' badge14 Sod it let's put the Golf in on this list as as well!15 anymore for anymore?16 Of course.. the New Beetle!17 and the Phaeton...

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Steady on - Phaeton is major league shite, i would love one.

[Mash]

Don't forget the R9 won COTY in 1982 as well, so it must have some redeeming features!I think that with a lot of these lists and so on, that the author gets the word "crap" confused with "dull but worthy and reliable".A dull car doth not a crap car make in my book.

[Alpineandy]

the Dauphine was no slower than it's english equivalents (in fact it was faster than most of them, especially in gordini form)

[Justin Case]

Time for a new list: the ten worst motoring journalists of all time.1. Henry Biggs2. The entire staff of What Car3. ..............

[r.welfare]

Can you slip the Golf+ thing and the Touran into that list too?

Heh, my dad is about to order a Golf Plus, but I can sort-of understand his reasoning - he's getting on a bit and wants something a little higher to get in and out of, a little shorter than his 2000 Accord so he won't biff it on the garden walls, and he doesn't want a 4x4 or a 7-seat MPV. Oh, and did I mention it has to be a diesel automatic too? And he doesn't like anything French - so that rules out a C4 Picasso or a Scenic - Zafiras are diabolically expensive, the Jap stuff and C-Max are only manual with DERV lumps, so it's Golf+ or Seat Altea with a DSG box really. Guess who had fun with What Car? last weekend finding all this out...But the Seat looks wank inside and out. And the only other alternative is a Mercedes B-Class, which is both pointless AND ruinously expensive. Plus you have to do silly things like take the engine out to change the starter motor (weren't we discussing similar things about the Pug 104 last night?).I do agree that on paper they seem pointless but I will reserve judgement until I have driven it.

[Milford Cubicle]

Time for a new list: the ten worst motoring journalists of all time.

 

1. Henry Biggs

2. The entire staff of What Car

3. ..............

3 should be the entire staff of Auto Express.

[Karmann Ghiaman]

Hmm, ZE CHERMAN LIST IS DEVELOPINK, JA?

 

What about the Mercedes A Class? Yuk! Either you make big, swish cars for vulgar rich people, or you make sensible, everyday cars for sensible, everyday folk - don't pretend to do the former for the latter & create something ridiculous. Similarly, VW can't really do the same thing the other way round; even Passats are a bit silly, anything bigger, a disaster. Found the Variant in a Worst Cars book - anything with working radiator grilles in strange places, like on the sides, has got to be dodgy. (Remember best friend's family getting orange one around 1971 and all: Dad, Mum, big bruvs & friend being really, really proud of it). The so-called New Beetle has been described wittily (possibly by Sir Jeremy Clarkson) as 'a Golf in a crinoline'. As for the Eos - I sometimes think it's desperately pretending to be...er...a Karmann Ghia coupe.