No planes, four trains, two automobiles. Contains TURNIPZ. New tyres.

[Junkman]

...leaving its interior lights on despite all the doors being closed.

 

That is still better than the other way around!

[Guest Breadvan72]

That is still better than the other way around!

 

You will be suitably appalled to hear that the interior lights in the Saab only go on when you open the driver's door from the outside about once every other time.    They always go on when you open it from the inside, and when you open the passenger door from the outside.  Applying your ruthless and unbending standards, this means that the car must be crushed immediately.

 

More electrical ghosties are revealed below.

 

It is quite exciting to own a proper AS floozie that has been around the blocks here a few times.  I R honoured to be the custodian of this fine example of Scandichod heritage, etc. etc....

 

I got home a bit before 8pm, and collapsed over the supper table after a 12.5 hour collection (extended by so-called real world interludes interrupting the fun) .  I was off the booze this week, because fat bastard, but have had two small French beers, because [Molesworth] tired but hapy [/Molesworth].

 

The car believes that it has a failed rear light - it keeps telling me so via the dashboard blah panel.  In fact the lights are OK at present, but njgleeds tells me that the Satanic computers that exercise a brutal reign of terror over all modern cars can sometimes tell that a bulb is almost knackered and send you eery prophetic messages about this.  Not to be helpful, mind, but to piss you off and make you ignore doom warnings until all of your sheep are eaten by actual wolves.

 

The airbag light had come on just before njgleeds rocked up in the car to meet me at his local station.  This comes from moving the seat, apparently, and the light is supposed to go out after 15 or so driving it about cycles.  I moved the seat myself later, so may for all I know have dislodged the same connector again, although unlike many on here I will probably spend weeks trying to figure out where it is and how to re connect it, and then give up, having broken a few extra things in the process.

 

I last drove one of these cars circa 2000.  This one seems better than the almost new one that I drove then, but maybe my memory has faded, or my standards have fallen/risen.  It is better to drive than the 1997 GM 900 3 door that I had for a bit a while back, although that one did have the full nutter Warp 9 turbo.

 

Anyway, seems good so far.  Despite Vectraness, still seems more Saab than Vauxhall, if only for the traditional Saaby quirks and interior.  Mrs BV will have a shufty tomorrow and see if she likes it. I think that she probably will.

 

Too knacked to write much more, or put up any more photos, but may do so tomorrow.

 

Thanks njgleeds.  Doing the oil and filter was very kind.  GUD SELAR, WUD BYE OLD SWEDE OR TURNIPZ FROM AGEN.

[Guest Breadvan72]

I think that's my old motor, bloody nice car that.

 

Yay!  I can haz an actual Cavcraftmobile!

[Guest Breadvan72]

The North is fine & sophisticated

For instance we have had running water since 1976, indoor privies since 1983 and last year we got magic sparkly electrickery stuff that makes the haunted fish tank come to life.

 

 

I put this up on another thread the other day, and it's about Wales, not the north, but I think it bears another outing.  Happy St David's Day look you innit.

 

 

[pompei]

That is just like mine  -  is it pez or disease -al?

[Guest Breadvan72]

Chuh, would I buy a car fuelled by snakeoil?  Pezzy McPezface, always.

 

OK, I did once buy Mrs BV a diesel car via Autoshite, but that doesn't count because it was a Pug 205, and didn't have a wanky turbo or owt.  

 

I once had a diesel Series 3 Landy, but that was dire.  I sold it to some bloke, who chopped it up into tiny bits.  Saying that reminds me of my lovely petrol Series 3, that I foolishly sold last year, so, bah.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Not much choddery on the motorways around Manchester today - mostly gleaming white moderns with 87 inch RIMZ YO; but I saw some fine 90s shitboxes on the M6 and M42 around Birmingham.

 

At Warwick Services, I saw a chap adjusting the straps on the shell of an Alvis that he was trailering behind a rented white van.  He told me that he had all the engine, running gear, interior, lights and whatnot in the van, planned to do the whole thing himself, and reckoned it would take him up to two years.  The shell looked OK.   I wished him luck.   Keeno rozzers might have had a pop at him, because the Alvis was stuck out over the end of the trailer and it was hard to see the van's numberplate slung underneath (and maybe the rear lights too), but I hope not.  Well, unless the whole kaboosh fell off and caused motorway mayhem, obvs.  He didn't seem all that confident about his strapping.  I would have helped, but know nothing about safe strappage of car fuselages onto trailers, so left him to it. 

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Some photies

 

 

 

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Note the blue Peugeot that this Saab is supposed to be replacing lurking in the background.   The fate of the Peugeot remains uncertain, as its roffle is selling out about as fast as Jimmy Savile's memoirs, and I might yet get it fixed up with new discs and whatnot.  For the present it is going to be parked at the other end of the yard and left for a while  It does rather ming of ciggies inside.  

 

Mrs BV likes the look of the Saab, but refused to drive it when we got in and the check engine light came on.  I was going to plug in my cheapo code reader box, but the light went out after switching off and re starting a couple of times with the engine warmed up, and I have just hooned the thing for a few miles of understeery fun with the roof down, without any more scary lights coming on.  Despite this, Mrs BV is now AFEARED of explody breakdown apocalypse, at least for the moment, so we shall see what happens.   

 

As Mrs BV also refuses to drive any other car that is available, including the easy as pie modern, non broken and automatic X Type, my plan to go and check out the misbehaving SD1 and rescue it from the station did not go ahead, but it can stay there for another day or two.  I have to do the commuter train bollocks to London tomorrow, in order to have some disagreeable arguments with bingobrains for money.  Maybe I will go all floppy topped to the station, if the morning is not too nadgers.

[barmatt]

Eroneous warning lights on the blah display can usually be put out with one of those cheapo obdii jobbies that can be had off the bay for about £12. It was invaluable during my ownership of one of these.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Yup, got one of those.  May give it a zap later if the car does any more Xmas Tree nonsense.  This car seems to have 97 different types of bong and beep that it emits at various junctures, but I have no clue what any of them mean. Maybe "your polo neck jumper is insufficiently black", or something; but I hope I don't miss the "car is on fire, eject, eject, eject" bonger. 

[barmatt]

Just wait till the roof decides to play silly buggers, the "bonging" will make you want to start the fire.

[holbeck]

Gosh, that does look nice.

[Guest Breadvan72]

A few very minor biffs and bangs on bumpers, and what looks like some half hearted yobbish key damage on one flank, but it's nay bad to look at, and the colour suits it and makes it look SMOLL. Grey inside, but not too drearily so, and there's Saab's usual laughably token bit of wood.  

 

This car has apparently been an AS tart for some time, but is looking OK for its 150K miles.  Inside, there's barely noticeable wear on the driver's seat, and a bit more wear on the interior door handle.  Overall it feels solid and well made, and is a pretty smooth and fastish drive, allowing for the slightly wahey handling if you push on in corners.

[Bren]

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BV my nick is over the road - you should have come over.

[Guest Breadvan72]

I thought of this car today, was clearing the kitchen side and found the new ACC screen I bought for it. Still free if needed (but will want fitting)

 

Yes please thank you please.  PM sent.

[Guest Hooli]

Eroneous warning lights on the blah display can usually be put out with one of those cheapo obdii jobbies that can be had off the bay for about £12. It was invaluable during my ownership of one of these.

£12?

 

You wuz robbed m9!

 

Mine was £4.95 & puts out codes on my 9-5 perfectly.

[Guest Breadvan72]

What, to turn myself in?  It's a fair cop, but society is to blame.

 

BTW, on the way south I saw a hatchback with a sticker saying "NO PIES ARE KEPT IN THIS VEHICLE OVERNIGHT".  Crimewatch North!

[Guest Hooli]

There is/was a baker in the Lakes who has 'no cakes left in this vehicle over night' on a transit.

[SiC]

Yup, got one of those. May give it a zap later if the car does any more Xmas Tree nonsense. This car seems to have 97 different types of bong and beep that it emits at various junctures, but I have no clue what any of them mean. Maybe "your polo neck jumper is insufficiently black", or something; but I hope I don't miss the "car is on fire, eject, eject, eject" bonger.

As I have said before, those bongs are what every Saab owners fear the most. They also sound ever so similar to aircraft bongs (aviation heritage?). You can always see who the Saab owners are when you fly...

 

I reckon Saabs really aren't that reliable cars. However you just bond with them (takes some people longer than others) and so don't feel bad spending out to keep them running. Old money type of car.

[Guest Hooli]

Replace a goona with a Saab & they feel reliable.

[eddyramrod]

There is/was a baker in the Lakes who has 'no cakes left in this vehicle over night' on a transit.

There will be another if I can find such a sticker!

[Pillock]

The roof shouldn't give you any bongs for a while yet as it's a circa £1500 Saab-dealer fitted replacement not long back. It had a whole series of receipts for "check alignment", "adjust hood", "re-align roof hooks" and stuff before a previous owner just threw their chequebook at it.

 

Mrs_Pillock loved it, and on more than one occasion I heard her go to work, and then noticed her daily driver was still sat outside and the Saab keys were missing. Generally when she was working down some country lanes somewhere in the summer.

 

I've PMed you re the ACC screen, hope you're good at soldering

[Guest Breadvan72]

Best bit about Saabs is that the headrests are made out of Separatist BattleDroid heads.

 

EDIT:  WTF is it with pics of seats and going sideways, FFS? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest Hooli]

Haz u iphone kit? They normally put the pics the wrong way because for once apple did something right & no one else did

[pompei]

My now-departed 9-5 had a dash display like Oxford Street on Christmas Eve but it soldiered on with no resultant problem.  Pay no attention to warning light/display trickery. Unless it relates to low oil, in which case top up immediately, as that one is usually accurate.

[richardthestag]

oh you bastards, now I has want for Scab conbertable!

 

Staaag needs new overdrive solenoid fitting and I need to get around to changing them chains. that might purge the want!

 

This weekend is Rust Ranger weldathon in Devon so maybe next weekend I will venture into the garage Howard Carter style on the verge of discovering a sarcophagus full of mouse shit and chewed up bits of paper

[Skizzer]

Rude things about Wales

Before you say any more rude things about Wales (alright then, after), can I just point out that your new Saab has Cardiff plates.

[Junkman]

oh you bastards, now I has want for Scab conbertable!

 

We'll discuss this again after you did or did not win the Rover of Range.

[anonymous user]

Before you say any more rude things about Wales (alright then, after), can I just point out that your new Saab has Cardiff plates.

He knows he can get away with it as by the time it is your turn (or mine, come to that) to use the internet in Wales everyone will have forgotten about it