Ghosts

[Karmann Ghiaman]

If you are anything like me you probably enjoy walking round graveyards thinking 'I may have completely wasted my life so far, but at least I'm still alive alive and there's still a slim chance that I might yet do something worthwhile - unlike all these unfortunate dead & buried folk.'

 

They say 'You can't take it with you,' but a lot of tombstones now seem to include material possessions, support of a football club, etc. Here are some car & bike related ones:

 

Don't suppose he rode this, but probably enjoyed watching bike racing

 

This is two graves along from the above

 

Nice bike in another cemetery

 

Ford focus, a modest enough aspiration

 

This was definitely his car in life. Perhaps, as with its equally-dreaded ancestor the Viking longship, it has taken him to Valhalla?

 

 

Finally got that personalised registration

 

Anyone else seen examples? Does this happen in other countries like Holland & NZ? (Apparently you can send the Chinese stonemasons pictures of whatever you'd like on the grave and they will copy it for you.)

 

Not wishing to be too macabre, here are some pictures of another ghost; a remarkable petrol pump discovered hidden away in a small Notts market town:

 

Does anyone know the date of this? The glass is broken & it's very rusty, but the rubber hose seems like new

 

It has 'No. 4' on it, but stands alone beside a small private garage just off a quiet street

 

One door remains and still closes!

 

Old people in the village say that there used to be four petrol outlets, now there's only one (not that one, obviously).

[Pillock]

KGMan, I bet you've seen some of my handywork :)I used to make and fit headstones around these parts, did it for three summers whilst home from uni. Can't say for sure any of the photos are of ours but I do remember doing a few bikes and cars - I wasn't nearly artistic enough to actually blast the artwork, we had a freelance guy come and do that, but I was the one putting the colour in afterwards.I think there's a motorbike of mine out in Shirebrook though, and I remember doing an Impreza and a couple of F1-style generic racing cars. Makes a change from birds and horses.I do like that Focus, I know it's not a dream car but the quality is amazing, the Cosworth looks nice too. Deep blasted pictures like the Volvo and red bike are harder to make look realistic because you can't get thin lines but they last longer.

[Karmann Ghiaman]

Most of them are very nicely done, I hope they'll last.Was told the headstones come from China, but glad to hear that the artwork/carving is done locally. I'll visit Shirebrook one day!

[pogweasel]

Very classy!

[Pillock]

Yeah the base headstones come from abroad, in our case we imported from India and had a warehouse full of ready-polished and shaped granite blocks. Marble we could cut and shape onsite but granite was too hard for our equipment.Basically the lettering is just sandblasted in - you have a computerised cutter make a stencil out of heavy gauge rubber, stick that to the polished front and then let rip with a sandblaster which makes hollows where the letters are. Paint into the bottom of these and gold leaf pressed into the tacky paint.Piccies are cut out by an artist and blasted in by yours truely for the deep-set ones and then filled with Humbrol paints. The lighter blown ones are blasted by the artist who has a hand-held low pressure sandblaster, and cuts weird shapes out of card to mask different bits off. Fascinating to watch. Then the colour is painted over the top all messily, a scrape over with a blade and it just leaves tiny dots behind.Best job I ever had, that.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

When it's my time to go, I want a full Council funeral. Volvo 740 hearse* followed by a fleet of Coleman Milne Minsters, Mk2 and 3 Grannys with at least one of the wheezing Colognes coughing up fluids.*Although I don't suppose a filler laden DS420 would be too sore.

[trigger]

When it's my time to go, I want a full Council funeral. Volvo 740 hearse* followed by a fleet of Coleman Milne Minsters, Mk2 and 3 Grannys with at least one of the wheezing Colognes coughing up fluids.

 

*Although I don't suppose a filler laden DS420 would be too sore.

I would of though this was the Autoshites members hearse of choice.

 

[pogweasel]

I would hope to recieve a full AutoShite State Funeral, carried to the crem in the back of a ropey old Princess with a courtege made up of VdP Allegro's & Wolseley 18/85's. I also expect a full '21-gun salute' made up by the exhaust backfires of a gamut of poorly-maintained crocks of shit. Or maybe the 'eco' option - just drive my deceased carcass out into the woods in a Bedford HA and unceremoniously dump me next to the remains of that Vauxhall FE Victor.....

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Don't forget a coffin knocked up from MDF by your Uncle Curly.You know, the one who used to molest you on the back seat of the Damask red Wolseley Six back in the seventies

[155V6]

Sounds like an excuse to show another pic of my Granada Hearse,

I'm claiming bonus points for the shite in the background,the Granada estate & the 528i were mine

[jjp666]

I own that Ambassador hearse now as a spare to my other Ambassador hearse. I also have a 740 hearse and mk1 and mk2 granada hearses.155v6, do you still own that granada ?

[155V6]

I own that Ambassador hearse now as a spare to my other Ambassador hearse. I also have a 740 hearse and mk1 and mk2 granada hearses.155v6, do you still own that granada ?

No,it looks quite good in the picture but was as rotten as a pear underneath.I sold it in 1998 & it got raced the next year at an all-hearse & limo meeting .I'm still a member of the Classic Hearse Register,I guess you are as well?

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Sounds like an excuse to show another pic of my Granada Hearse,

I'm claiming bonus points for the shite in the background,the Granada estate & the 528i were mine

Legendary. But I bet the 2.0iS and the Onion were yours too........

 

The E28 528i is proper artillery.

[jjp666]

I'm still a member of the Classic Hearse Register,I guess you are as well?

Yes, have been for quite a few years now - I had a Zephyr 6 hearse years ago but that ended up on the track as well.

[155V6]

Sounds like an excuse to show another pic of my Granada Hearse,

I'm claiming bonus points for the shite in the background,the Granada estate & the 528i were mine

Legendary. But I bet the 2.0iS and the Onion were yours too........

 

The E28 528i is proper artillery.

I didn't do FWD in those days,or anything with less than 6 cylinders

What you can't see in the pic are the 3-spokes on the 528i

[155V6]

I'm still a member of the Classic Hearse Register,I guess you are as well?

Yes, have been for quite a few years now - I had a Zephyr 6 hearse years ago but that ended up on the track as well.

Was that the Mk 3 that was in primer?

[Father Ted]

If you are anything like me you probably enjoy walking round graveyards

 

Ford focus, a modest enough aspiration

.

Is it just me that finds this quite tacky? Thank crap Im being cremated (with my socks stuffed with potassium nitrate, charcoal and sulphor for good measure.)

[Pillock]

I quite like the idea that poor old Sid* can be remembered for something that means something to his family and friends. And whilst a Focus is a bizarre choice, maybe it was a big part of his life.A lot of actual churchyards won't allow anything other than a black headstone, gold writing and a very limited range of wording. *not his real name

[Karmann Ghiaman]

All VW fans will agree that this is the most dignified way to go:

[jjp666]

Was that the Mk 3 that was in primer?Yes, that was it. The first time I saw it it was painted with a union jack. I bought it when it was black and red primer and painted it silver.You may have seen it at Beaulieu hearse shows.

[Albert Ross]

At my Grandads funeral, the DS420 hearse wore the reg DOA on a 1971 K plate .................I chuckled lots, and hoped he would have seen the funny side too!

[AXrescuer]

This is what Jade Goody chose for her funeral according to Yahoo News. She picked the funeral director (F A Albin & Sons) and this particular hearse to carry her coffin.

 

[155V6]

She had some taste then

[AXrescuer]

She had some taste then

Aye, seems she did.

[Pete-M]

Somewhat surreal the thought of Jade Goody's last action to be proving herself to be a woman of impeccable taste who was really taking the piss and doing the greatest ever 'chav' impersonation all for the benefit of a bunch of Tagora sniffing, piss-taking, old car freaks on a site mainly dedicated to the more amusing old sheds available on ebay and doing unspeakable things to ancient Renaults and random BL shite.But if that thought is correct, she's definately got the last laugh on me, and for that, I salute her!

[garethj]

My dad told me about a friend of his who cashed in his redundancy money in the '70s to buy a hearse and limo, then set himself up in funeral business. Unfortunately the redundancy money didn't go very far and the hearse was a bit of a dog....Doing one funeral he drove to a particularly hilly churchyard, before going up to the poor chap's Final Resting Place he got out of the car and said to his mate in the mourner's car behind "The handbrake on the hearse doesn't work. When I stop by the graveside, pull up right behind me and it'll stop the hearse from rolling back"He solemnly got back into the hearse and trundled up the hill with great dignity before stopping at the graveside. The bloke in the mourner's car pulled up behind and touched the bumper of the hearse as planned. Everyone got out, very sad occasion, terribly moving etc and they all watched as the back of the hearse was opened and the coffin was manhandled over the bonnet of the mourner's car

[pogweasel]

Is this your dad's friend?

[AnthonyG]

How old were those guys with the fast bikes on their gravestones? Doctors don't call bikers moving donors for nothing .

[Station]

If you are anything like me you probably enjoy walking round graveyards

 

Ford focus, a modest enough aspiration

.

Is it just me that finds this quite tacky? Thank crap Im being cremated (with my socks stuffed with potassium nitrate, charcoal and sulphor for good measure.)

Yes. Probably said 'he loved cars, put one on his gravestone', and the doofy engraver put any old car on there. I'd be spinning in my grave if someone put a runaround Ford on my stone.

[Karmann Ghiaman]

Well the boring Volvo surely was the grave occupant's car; no doubt it gave him great pleasure & every other driver was relieved when another Scandi pilot went to the Great Parking Lot in the Sky. I s'pose Ford focus had one too. All the bike graves were for old chaps who'd had their 4 Score Years & 10, so no worries there. BRAD 1 with that Peugeot (? didn't like to disturb the floral tribute too much) did expire tragically young. Just hope to God none of their deaths were on the road, though plenty of the youth round here do learn the hard way just after passing their Test & taking a few mates out (literally, forever)... There was a massacre on the A614 only a few weeks ago. (We'll have to ask Mr Pillock if he ever knew the story behind any of the designs he worked on.)