TEH Horror, California car in OMGRUST calamity

[mercrocker]

Great stuff! Love the plate on the Lincoln nearly as much as Fed P6s.....

[Clanger]

Great stuff! Love the plate on the Lincoln nearly as much as Fed P6s.....

DMV wouldn't let him have FCannon, but CannonF was okay...

[Jon]

 two plus hours were spent looking at the car, chatting and drinking tea, followed by 20 minutes of actually removing the spring.

 

STUNO and myself have very effectively modelled our fettling activities to this formula when working* on My Citroen, albeit substituting the tea for coffee. 

 

Great to see lots of updates to this thread since I seem to have missed it for a few weeks. Your Rover looks fantastic in NA spec - I especially like the red lenses on the rear lighting/reflectors and those wheels look similar to the ones put on US P6s but look suspiciously like alloy rims to me.......

 

Also good to see some top quality spots, though it's almost as an aside to your other activities which is a bit of a shame, as they're plenty good enough to feature in their own thread!

[Clanger]

Jon, I couldn't equal the stuff you seem to find down there in Kiwi-shire, but I will add any interesting shiz that I see and manage to photograph.

 

This week I went to buy an apple pie - and before noted American hater John F asks, yes, it had cinnamon in it, but as it came from a local region famous for its apples it is still a good pie and I will allow it as passable.

 

The real reason for my 280 mile round trip was to test out my repair to the CNG Crown Vic and also to become a billionaire.

 

Before it all went wrong with my lil ol Crown Vic I used to get about 25 or more mpg on a pure highway run. It all went south with the bad fuel rail pressure sensor and I was getting horrible economy. I hadn't really had much occasion to drive the CV so I didn't know if the repair had put it back to its previous form, so in my quest for billions of dollars I decided to go for a long drive to buy an apple pie and look at a shit old British motor for sale.

 

The powerball lottery reached a jackpot of $1.6 billion last week - that's like totally more than a million an all. Conventional* wisdom* says that the only way you can win is to buy a ticket from an obscure location, at least my wife's conventional wisdom says that, so even though I know there was 300 times more chances of being hit by lightening I decided to trek off to the wilds. Plus I could go and look at the terrible Humber Scepter I found for sale on Craigslist.

 

(I tried posting a screen shot of my journey, but was told I was naughty for trying)

 

My mate found this old dog online and thought we should buy it together - it makes perfect sense when we both have unfinished projects on our respective driveways. He was out of town working, so it was my job to go and look.

 

 

I called the seller, and he was less than effusive on the phone, in fact talking to him was like pulling teeth. Nonetheless, I got the address and agreed to meet him the next day at around 11:30 with the proviso I would text him when I was about an hour away.

 

I set off on my 100 + mile journey and as agreed I texted when I was about an hour away - no response, no problem I thought, he knows I am on the way. I arrive and see the car on the drive, no sign of "Scot"... still, it gives me a chance to take a look around the Humber. Let's just say, it's seen better days - now by UK standards it would probably be a real find as I am sure that whatever rust there may be in this car would pale into insignificance when compared to its British counterpart. Still, the guy wants $1500, it hasn't run in a dog's age, the inside is well thrashed and it would need trailering home, and I am sure that there are a bunch of hidden nasties. I phoned the seller as no one had come to see what i was doing on the driveway - no answer. At this point, I thought "fuck it, ahm oot" and left. 25 minutes later the knob calls me and says it would have been nice if I had rung the door bell, I agree and mention that it might have been nice if he had responded to my text, or answered my phone call, or even been around at the agreed time given that I was the idiot driving over 100 miles - I think we hit it off!

 

Anyhoo, I emailed my china and told him I would be in at $500 otherwise no dice. I am going to meet up with him this week and see what he thinks.

 

I bought a lottery ticket assured that the same time the next day I would be bathing in cocaine covered twenty dollar bills. Then I drove up the mountain and bought an apple pie and another lottery ticket just to assure myself of the win. Finally, I stopped at a liquor store on the drive home and bought another lottery ticket, thus assuring myself of untold riches.

 

The rest of the journey was uneventful and I made it home, filling up after 283.1 miles and taking on 11.098 GGE for a nice and healthy 25.51 mpg.

 

And no, I didn't win the lottery thank you very fucking much for asking...

 

Here's a gratuitous picture of a Ford Gran Torino

[STUNO]

Love your seller, sounds like he totally alert. That Sceptre looks ok in all the photo. If the body is ok it would be a reasonably easy fix as body panels are the hardest bit to get , it just depends how long it spent festering in the Brit salt flats called roads. You forgot to mention if the CV is doing better now ! Oh commiserations re the lotto.

[MrDuke]

If the body is ok it would be a reasonably easy fix as body panels are the hardest bit to get , it just depends how long it spent festering in the Brit salt flats called roads.

Sceptre's LHD so I'd guess it was a new import? I adore the patina that seems to only occur on West-coast cars, the brown colour of inactive rust with a slight glaze on top.

 

 

Incidentally, was the S&H stripe an actual 'thing' on 70s Gran Torinos, or was it just another TV thing like the A-Team stripe? Basically, is that car in the photo the US equivalent of a trotterised Reliant Regal?

[Squire_Dawson]

I sincerely hope that your next update will be to state that you've bought this.

[sutty2006]

I love crown Vics. One of my favorite yank cars. One day I promise myself one as a daily driver (i dont live far from work now) so i can justify the fuel.

 

But heres my 1989 Mercury grand marquis.

 

 

Ive actually had 30mpg out of it, on the drive down to Dover. not bad for a 302 on EFi. And i dont go far in it, so theres no demand for LPG.

 

[Clanger]

Love your seller, sounds like he totally alert. That Sceptre looks ok in all the photo. If the body is ok it would be a reasonably easy fix as body panels are the hardest bit to get , it just depends how long it spent festering in the Brit salt flats called roads. You forgot to mention if the CV is doing better now ! Oh commiserations re the lotto.

 

Yep the CV returned 25.51 to the gallon - although because it's a CNG car it's measured in GGE (gas gallon equivalent), so I am well pleased with my $9 junk yard solution to the problem.

 

As you live in the future on the other side of the international date line I should've emailed you for the winning lottery numbers, cos it's already tomorrow for you innit.  Next time.

 

Sceptre's LHD so I'd guess it was a new import? I adore the patina that seems to only occur on West-coast cars, the brown colour of inactive rust with a slight glaze on top.

 

 

Incidentally, was the S&H stripe an actual 'thing' on 70s Gran Torinos, or was it just another TV thing like the A-Team stripe? Basically, is that car in the photo the US equivalent of a trotterised Reliant Regal?

Pretty sure it's an original California car, the interior was wrecked though from years of sitting in the sun.

 

Ford actually produced a limited number of Starsky and Hutch Gran Torinos.  I think there's some way to tell based on the stripe.

 

I sincerely hope that your next update will be to state that you've bought this.

 

Dear Squire Dawson FRO please

 

I really, really don't need any encouragement to do something stupid like this.  I have been warned that I will meet an untimely end if I purchase this car - "she" has ridiculous rules about the amount of cars I am allowed to own at any one time.  Still, the plan is my mate is going to claim ownership of the car - I will miss him when he's gone, but I am sure it will be a lovely funeral...

 

Both of us have long term projects* on our drives - his is 5 years and counting and I am winning by about 6 months.

 

So, now that I have thought this through I will see what can be done - it's going to depend on how much the idiot seller will take for it.

 

I love crown Vics. One of my favorite yank cars. One day I promise myself one as a daily driver (i dont live far from work now) so i can justify the fuel.

 

But heres my 1989 Mercury grand marquis.

 

 

Ive actually had 30mpg out of it, on the drive down to Dover. not bad for a 302 on EFi. And i dont go far in it, so theres no demand for LPG.

 

You've got the older 5.0 version - mine is the modular 4.6.  If you do the calcs I think mine equals about 30 miles to the imperial gallon.  When I first arrived on the left coast all taxis and cop cars were that body style and I have loved them ever since.

 

Here is a gratuitous picture of a perfectly good use for the Ford 302

Don't be fooled by it's trailer queen looks - this thing is a monster with a crate 302, t5 and Jag XJS rear end

[sutty2006]

Very nice indeed! I saw a capri mk3 with a 302 in it last year, at a ford show in blackpool (same as where I took my pic above, 3 years ago).

 

I always wanted that shape, you'd see them in every yank movie and TV series through the 80s and early 90s!

[danthecapriman]

Glad to hear your Crown Vic is fixed, that part was a right bargain.

 

The Humber looks great compared to the ones left here that are unrestored! It's probably more hassle and expense than is justifiable but could you get a decent interior from a dead or banger raced European car and ship it to the US? I can't imagine they are very common in the US.

The seller sounds like a bit of a dick but I think it'd make a nice car with some work. Do not re paint obviously!

 

There's an 85 Cown Vic police car not far from where I live, it's got the earlier front end to sutty2006's Mercury version. It's bloody lovely too!

Here's a pic of it, http://www.solent-renegades.co.uk/garage-view-vehicle-88.html

[Clanger]

Glad to hear your Crown Vic is fixed, that part was a right bargain.

 

The Humber looks great compared to the ones left here that are unrestored! It's probably more hassle and expense than is justifiable but could you get a decent interior from a dead or banger raced European car and ship it to the US? I can't imagine they are very common in the US.

The seller sounds like a bit of a dick but I think it'd make a nice car with some work. Do not re paint obviously!

 

There's an 85 Cown Vic police car not far from where I live, it's got the earlier front end to sutty2006's Mercury version. It's bloody lovely too!

Here's a pic of it, http://www.solent-renegades.co.uk/garage-view-vehicle-88.html

Dan - still keeping an eye out for those bits you wanted, but every junk yard car we find has had the door cards raped. That CHP CV has the older style rear end as well - loved all of those and the Caprice too.

 

If he'll take $500 for the Humber I would be in, but even then I run the risk of death by wife.

[danthecapriman]

If he'll take $500 for the Humber I would be in, but even then I run the risk of death by wife.

Well, that's easy to deal with, just don't tell her!

 

 

Thanks for keeping an eye out for the bits I need! Much appreciated.

Who knows, if you do buy the Humber I might be able to get some bits for you.

[andrew e]

Blue and yellow licence plates are for WINNAZ.

[Junkman]

My Rovah has been off the road about a year longer than his Lincoln and there is much guessing as to which one will roar to life first...

IMG_20151002_172724.jpg

 

Whatever you may need for it, please feel free to contact me.

I'll do everything I can to help.

[hauserplenty]

...Because you are the Junkman. That's why.

[Junkman]

Because I can. That's why.

[hauserplenty]

I remember you using that particular phrase as your signature some years back, squire...

[sutty2006]

 

There's an 85 Cown Vic police car not far from where I live, it's got the earlier front end to sutty2006's Mercury version. It's bloody lovely too!

Here's a pic of it, http://www.solent-renegades.co.uk/garage-view-vehicle-88.html

 

Love it. That is what I wanted but settled for the Mercury as it was the only thing available over a period of about 2 years i was looking.

 

I could do with some bits for mine really. If you happen to see one in the "junk" yard I need a right side rear chrome wheel arch trim. Mines bent as a nine bob note....me owd.

 

[Clanger]

Whatever you may need for it, please feel free to contact me.

I'll do everything I can to help.

Vielen Dank Herr Baron von TEH Junkman - your offer is very much appreciated.  All is quite on the Rovah front at present, but I'll let you know as it moves forwards.

 

 

Love it. That is what I wanted but settled for the Mercury as it was the only thing available over a period of about 2 years i was looking.

 

I could do with some bits for mine really. If you happen to see one in the "junk" yard I need a right side rear chrome wheel arch trim. Mines bent as a nine bob note....me owd.

 

I was at the junkyard today - wish I would've known so I could have kept an eye out.

[sutty2006]

 

I was at the junkyard today - wish I would've known so I could have kept an eye out.

 

And some door seals

 

you'll know for next time. Im in no rush

[Clanger]

See this website:

http://www.lkqpickyourpart.com/locations/

 

My local yards are Anaheim, Stanton, Wilmington, and Santa Fe Springs.  Ontario, Fontana and Sun Valley at a pinch  There are a couple of others on here that might* help out with Riverside, Hesperia and San Bernardino.  They have an online inventory that you can check to see if the right make/model is in the yard and when it came in - no guarantee that the parts you want are still on the vehicle though.

 

So if you check the site from time to time and let me know it might be possible to find what you're after.

[Clanger]

After weeks and weeks of doing little or nothing to the Wild Rover I got my arse in gear and started to do shit.

 

After some sand blasty goodness the sills and jacking point came up quite nicely.

 

Then I decided to investigate the bubbling paint on the rear wing.  OMG TEH HORROR - rust... on a California car... it's fucked!  I can't work on this...

Some tapping with the hammer and it became this...

 

I don't think it can be saved.  I haz sad now.

[garethj]

Are those jacking points made of actual metal?  That's enough to make it unique here in rainy old Britain.

[Junkman]

Those rear wings always rust there. Any body shop over here can repair that easily.

I'm looking* forward* to see what it looks like once you've taken the rear wings off.

Muahaha, like.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

I last went to the States 27 years ago. Landed at Los Angeles airport and immediately spotted a 2800 Capri Mark 1, a 105E Anglia and a bloke driving a Federal 1982 Escort with no doors on. Also a Lotus Cortina Mark 1 and an Almond green/white Mark 1 Cooper S dumped outside a garage looking very sorry. Out in Arizona, Flagstaff exhibited an unreal amount of early Mustangs still on the road as well as quite a few fifties and sixties VW's. Jesus Christ it was hot! Leant against a seventies Impala in McDonalds car park and got a blister on my hand. Must have been 40+ and everything was baking. Our wheels were a 1982 AMC Concord complete with the 4 litre straight six - not a bad old car.

 

The Humber Septic looks saveable. They were badged as Sunbeams right?

[Magnificent Rustbucket]

It will be a fabulous thing when you have finished it.

[chaseracer]

The Humber Septic looks saveable. They were badged as Sunbeams right?

 

The Hunter was badged as the Sunbeam Arrow in the US.  The Hawk, Super Snipe and Sceptre kept their Humber identities, without notable success.

 

A Super Snipe estate was used (and rolled...) in the 24 Hours of Lemons a year or three back: http://forums.24hoursoflemons.com/viewtopic.php?id=11794

[Clanger]

Are those jacking points made of actual metal?  That's enough to make it unique here in rainy old Britain.

Unlike the UK version where the jacking points are made of blancmange the US cars were built with actual metal included.

 

Those rear wings always rust there. Any body shop over here can repair that easily.

I'm looking* forward* to see what it looks like once you've taken the rear wings off.

Muahaha, like.

No Your Majesty Baron Herr Von TEH Junkman, no car with this amount of rust can be saved.  It's too far gone, to coin a Junkmanism "it's fucked." 

 

I am going to have to weigh it in now, which is a shame considering it survived TEH fire.

 

The front wings had some rust horror on them.  I had the brace cut out and new sheet metal welded in - no pics of the repaired wings at the moment.  So feast your eyes on some more hideous rust.

 

It will be a fabulous thing if you ever get your lazy arse in gear and fucking finish it.

EFA by my missus.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

"rust"

 

Rust.

 

 

 

(and that has since been repaired and returned to the road)