Sold BMW E34 525i SE Now sold to scrapper.

[Junkman]

...  but was either related to most of them, or had just burned their village and/or evicted their granny from her hovel.

 

Aristos, eh?

 

Burning villages and/or evicting grannies is rather un-Austrian, unless said villages and/or grannies are Italian. The less Italians there are, the less people we hate, simples.

May I remind you of the fact, that there was uninterrupted peace for 66 years in the Austrian Empire, until you guys suddenly interrupted it just because we wanted to fight a bit of terrorism?

May I also remind you of the fact, that we didn't retaliate, but merely blew up a few Italians instead, just to ventilate our frustration about it a bit? OK, strictly speaking a few Russians too,

but show me the ones who didn't do this occasionally, so I guess it's not really worth mentioning.

 

Being related is an entire different story. Show me an Austrian who isn't related. There can't possibly be as many relations as we Austrians have.

Or why do you think I ran away from that nepotist cronyism the moment I was fledged and fight it ever since from exile?

Only once in my life I would like to see that in Austria legal proceedings would be as much as considered, instead of this constant backscratching

that's been going on my tits for as long as I could form a thought.

 

Aristos, sigh.

Bring back that monarchy and I'll volunteer for Kaiser, thank you very much. Besides, I'm squirearchy, which is a bit second hand aristo, which is a bit shit.

 

Now, when did you say you wanted to roffle that Palmsonntagsputschwagen?

Or how about being different and call Bimmer Bingo?

[Guest Breadvan72]

I'm just teasing you, Herr (not Von) Junkmeister.  I'm not really a chippy little fucker (well, I am really).  I am just a Bog Paddy descended from a long line of potato digging clods and bomb throwing Fenian nutcases.   We had to import our gentry from England, and were so useless that we didn't even develop a Kulak class - every fucker was skint and starving.   Luckily my family decided to go to Dublin and become Jackeens* after the Famine, so things got better then. 

 

Nowadays Ireland has dispensed with auld deference, and instead we have Southern European style corruption, but with shit Northern European weather.  Fucking win.  

 

 

 * Dublin equivalent of cockney.

[Guest Breadvan72]

 The less Italians there are, the less people we hate, simples.

 

 

 

 

FEWER, Goddammit!   At least when the English were genociding the fuck out of everybody, they maintained impeccable grammar (and tailoring, obvs).

 

Anyway, since 1918, aren't a lot of those Italians actually Sud Tirol Austrians really, anyway? 

[320touring]

Shop is a Spar, I think. New fuel pumps, shop a tiny bit bigger than before, but not that much different. I go to Stokenchurch to bag V Power for the sportier old heaps, but if I CBA or am fueling up the Landy I lob in to the local..

the m20b25 in the 525i you have is mapped for 91ron;)

 

I ran mine on 2 star equiv in eastern europe. no bother.

[cort16]

This is how my e34 winter driving experience went.

 

Oh it's a nice winters morning I think I'll take the BMW.

 

Pha, fuck waiting in this traffic jam I'll just nip down this back road.

 

Ooh, it's so slidey down here I AM A DRIFT GOD.

 

CRUNCH

[Junkman]

Anyway, since 1918, aren't a lot of those Italians actually Sud Tirol Austrians really, anyway? 

 

It's the other way around. Südtirol is annexed by Italy.

[michael1703]

Anyone else with a shit education wondering what these two are on about ?

[Guest Breadvan72]

the m20b25 in the 525i you have is mapped for 91ron;)

 

I ran mine on 2 star equiv in eastern europe. no bother.

 

I was not including the Beemer in the category "sportier heaps"  It's an exec, or even a grandadmobile, not a sports saloon or sports car.  It can nom the cheap stuff  same as the Landy does.  V Power is for the Lotus, Jag, Dolly, and Rover.  

[Guest Breadvan72]

It's the other way around. Südtirol is annexed by Italy.

 

 

That's what I meant - a lot of Austrians have been Italians since 1918, willy nilly, as no doubt you are fed up of being reminded.  

 

BTW, I enjoyed the Austria v Italy spat over which side of the border Otzi the Iceman was lying on when found.  Reinhold Messner stuck his oar in (walking pole, to be exact).  Beardy twerb.  Ace climber, though. 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Anyone else with a shit education wondering what these two are on about ?

 

 

Yes, me.

[xtriple]

O had a BMW 5 series once. It was a 518 in utter poverty spec and beige to boot, it was brilliant and leaked more oil than an old British motorbike!

[Guest Breadvan72]

I just look at this thread as a quasi-motoroing edition of Mornington Crescent.

 

 

Oslo Revision of the 15th edition rules, minus the Third Marrakech Conference Amendments, except for the South Kensington Replacement Bus Service Protocol, I trust?

[Guest Breadvan72]

New tyres in wet is WIZZ.

[Junkman]

New tyres need to be broken in before they work properly.

[Clanger]

Oslo Revision of the 15th edition rules, minus the Third Marrakech Conference Amendments, except for the South Kensington Replacement Bus Service Protocol, I trust?

I don't think I could have said that better.

[Guest Breadvan72]

New tyres need to be broken in before they work properly.

 

 

Alright for you, you have liveried footmen to hit them with hammers for you.  

[anonymous user]

Anyone else with a shit education wondering what these two are on about ?

Yes, although I had a reasonable education; unfortunately I'm so thick it was wasted on me. The time would have been better spent teaching me something useful, like how to paper a ceiling, or, how to play the piano a bit better.

[Junkman]

Alright for you, you have liveried footmen to hit them with hammers for you.  

 

I'd have my man treat the treads with emery boards while I wait in the club until he is finished.

If I'd ever buy tyres, that is.

[anonymous user]

Surely the answer is to leave the tyres alone and have someone go ahead of you to roughen the roads, after all you do own the road, don't you?

[Junkman]

That's what I meant - a lot of Austrians have been Italians since 1918, willy nilly, as no doubt you are fed up of being reminded.  

 

Would I be lying if I said that we aren't that unhappy about those backwoodsmen being Italy's problem now?

I guess not.

[Junkman]

Surely the answer is to leave the tyres alone and have someone go ahead of you to roughen the roads, after all you do own the road, don't you?

 

Finally someone came up with a purpose for those South Tyroleans.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I LOVE BACON

[Junkman]

I LOVE KALTERERSEE CLASSICO

[michael1703]

I knew breadvan was a posho lawyer from Oxford but finding junkman is Literate and educated is shattering my dreams

 

Next you'll tell me that barry shitpeas has a double barrelled surname

[Junkman]

I IZ NO LOIA !!!!!111!!!!1!!!!!!

But I know a lot of jokes about them...

[fairkens]

I knew breadvan was a posho lawyer from Oxford but finding junkman is Literate and educated is shattering my dreams

 

Next you'll tell me that barry shitpeas has a double barrelled surname

Isn't that what the WilsonWilson thing is all about?

[Guest Breadvan72]

Junkman is in fact the Herzog Margraf von Bonkerstein zum Austin Taxis, heir to the throne of Wallachia, and Redditch.

[Junkman]

No, I'm not. But I'm related to him.

[Clanger]

I was given to understand that Herr von TEH Junkman was an eighth cousin thrice removed to our own very British* Royal house.

 

Of course there is some suggestion that his great great great great great grandfather may actually have married himself, thus confusing the lineage somewhat.

[Guest Breadvan72]

No, I'm not. But I'm related to him.

 

Star fucker, then.