eBay Lexicon

[Junkman]

Relisted due to timewaster - Relisted due to realist

[STUNO]

One of the cylinders is cracked, I was going to do it but can't be bothered.

 

That was an almost true statement

[STUNO]

"Suitable for a farm vehicle"

 

[STUNO]

This one did not have to write a word, he just put up a photo of the car he was selling 

 

 

EDIT : I just noticed the date, it's had 2 more years of this treatment since the photo !

[fred]

First to see will buy -

 

only if confronted by

[bub2006]

He looks like weird al yankovichs crazy half brother

[Taff]

"I've removed the engine and gearbox but the car is complete" - I've removed the engine and gearbox but the car is complete, apart from all the useful stuff I've removed that you won't know about until you get home and find out, which I will then put on eBay, as I'm a crafty shit, also I haven't simply unplugged a connector, I've cut it off. On the car side of course. Oh, I also took the wipers as spares.

 

I've had this happen, on arrival and viewing the "project" it became apparent the car had been dismantled by Garth using just his teeth and on the day his wife left him, so you know his mind was elsewhere.

 

When I pointed out that all the "interface items" (throttle linkages, exhaust downpipe, coolant hoses, loom, engine mounts, propshaft yoke) where damaged beyond repair and would cost me another small fortune to replace, the vendor shrugged as though using a gas torch to remove an engine was perfectly normal.

 

the twat.

[Station]

I'll give him his due, he did leave me an engine mount.

However, the rubber mount part had perished (I assume this is why he left it). THNX M8.

[dugong]

"CAR HAS EXTREMELY LOW MILAGE (sic) AND HAS BEEN GARAGED FOR 20 YEARS SO IS PERFECT AND NEEDS NOTHING."

Right, except a full exhaust, rubbers, bushes, new brake and fuel lines, tyres, brakes, steering components and a full service before you can actually use it on the road. 

I was ejected from a seller's house for trying to negotiate the price down on an obscenely mint Piazza that hadn't seen the road in a long time. It had its original Dunlop D7s. From 1987. 

[Bren]

"Future investment opportunity - prices are only going one way, grab it now before it's too late."

 

The sun will exhaust all its fuel in around five billion years, even then your opportunity will be worth no more than now - which is fuck all.

[dugong]

"I, (DUGONG) AM SELLING THIS CAR". 

Translation: Every single other example of this vehicle is worth a bleeding fortune. Mine's worth £20. 

[Junkman]

It had its original Dunlop D7s. From 1987. 

 

That was a good year for tyres.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know, I know, coat, etc.

[Charlie Croker]

    Relisted due to timewaster = Everybody that came to look wanted to give me a slap because my lies in the ad wasted their time.

 

    I'm giving someone else the opportunity to restore blah blah blah = It's fucked.....like REALLY fucked!!!

 

    From a deceased estate/previous owner now deceased = They tried to restore this too......and this it what it did to them.

[sierraman]

Ideal for use on a Farm. This roughly translates to something that's dangerously unroadworthy, after all you don't need working brakes or an exhaust that doesn't asphixiate you if you use it on a farm.

[brickwall]

Baby forces sale:- that must be some psycho baby. Or needs any old excuse to sell it

[twosmoke300]

Errm I disagree with that one

[Bear]

Trip-Tronic.

I absolutely hate this. Particularly since it seems anything with a gearlever you can wiggle to change up/down gets labelled as such.

[Bear]

*New Brakes / Clutch / Tyres / Just Serviced*

 

Yeah right because everyone does that just before selling a car. Its either had the above work done about 2 years ago, or a dealer is talking out his ass.

 

Eeep. I shan't mention that I've done that on the 300C then...

[brickwall]

Errm I disagree with that one

 

 

So a baby has  forced you to sell a car? What did it do? Threaten to kill the hamster or perhaps blackmailing you with some smutty pictures?

[Junkman]

Eeep. I shan't mention that I've done that on the 300C then...

 

A 300C shouldn't have a clutch.

[twosmoke300]

So a baby has forced you to sell a car? What did it do? Threaten to kill the hamster or perhaps blackmailing you with some smutty pictures?

No but the lack of time that a baby brings meant that I may as well sell the bike

[UmBongo]

Baby forces sale translates as,'' I've not really planned out my immediate future and the bird is up the duff. Feck it! I'll have to sell my two-seater thingamybob.

Mind you it was leaking oil, anyways.''

[Bear]

A 300C shouldn't have a clutch.

AKSHUALLY IT HAS SEVERAL.

 

(sort of. A/C compressor count as well as lockup/reverse in the box?)

 

(( Seriously though, I have literally just done the rear brakes and am about to do the front and an oil/filter change, just as putting it on eBay and maybe Pistonheads - because the whole point of it is selling a car which has hardly any miles and has been loved, and I'm hoping to get a decent amount more than the settlement to buy out the HP )).

[sierraman]

No but the lack of time that a baby brings meant that I may as well sell the bike

I got sick of people recommending to me how good the Vauxhall Zafira was for a family. I'll go on record now by saying I will not now or at anytime in the future buy or be driving a Vauxhall Zafira.

[twosmoke300]

Ditto . I used to argue to fil about his scenic vs my vectra estate . What can a scenic do that the vectra couldn't ? Take a fridge in standing up ? More headroom ? For kids!

[D Spares & Tyres]

and there are no straight body panels

 

and a faint smell of wee inside

[Junkman]

Unfinished project - Unstarted project.

Needs finishing - Several trips are required to get everything to the scrapyard.

[D Spares & Tyres]

New car forces sale

 

This one probably won`t make it to work next week

[pompei]

Aren't all cars people carriers?

[Junkman]

As far as I can tell - I'm deliberately lying into your face now.