Sold Sold: Lancia HPE Volumex - that's the supercharged one

[Guest Breadvan72]

Yes, I agree with that.  The Spyder feels "old car", and I find mine great fun but a bit frenetic, especially on a long drive.  The HPE feels slick and quite modern, whilst still having the rorty engine characteristics of a carby machine.  As you mentioned, you do get a waft of petrol when you accelerate hard in the car, but this seems in keeping with the car being old, red , and Italian.  

 

I have wanted one of these for ages, and am mucho happy!

 

If I can't identify the electrical gremlin this morning, it's no biggie.  I will drive the car home later and if need be get my bloke Roy to come and sort it out as he is pretty sound on electrics.    

 

The car has scrubbed up well after a wash and hoover, and I might even get the cheery Romanians down the road to give it a polish.  "How old this car, boss?"  "No way!"

 

On the way over yesterday, some neoned and Barried hatchback full of Barries appeared much taken with the Lancia and formated for a closer look, and were possibly quite surprised when I lit up the supercharger and headed for the horizon.  

[nigel bickle]

I have 3 HPE's (how sad am I?) and confirm they all feel very different to each other!

 

The standard 2 litre manual is eager, willing rorty -a little slack, perhaps. High mileage I guess, about 120k.

 

Myauto is a completely different animal, predominantly the fault of the ridiculous box. Its a good cruiser (I used it for a trip to St Trop, with a Suzi 125 stinger bolted to the tail), but all geared wrong, which jars in town use.

 

The Vx, again feels much tighter, more eager- but uses a stack more fuel. Sounds brill though.

 

All have their good points, tis the auto that is on the road right now, though!

[skattrd]

When I went to view the HPE in Edinburgh it was at an Italian car specialist who was trying to find the cause of the occasional smell of petrol but he could not ... I think it's to be expected that a 30yr old car with a supercharger and carburettor chucking petrol in to the engine does occasionally smell of petrol when giving it the beans.

 

It does sound like these cars all drive differently, I'd wager my Spyder feels completely different to yours Gerard, despite them both being 2l manual carbs.

 

I'm glad you're happy with the car, it does get quite a few admiring glances, I think everyone likes an old Lancia.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Fuses eliminated from enquiry and now considering suing for false arrest.  Brake lights deffo working, as confirmed by some Max Powah Brummie Asian geezah in a chavved up Civic at the motorshop.   Thanks, Ali el Barri!    His mates Syed Barriah and Iqbal Baharri gave the Volumex the thumbs up, BTW.  

 

Then I almost pulled a posh Cougar bird at the local Shell garage who said she used to have a Beta Coupe, but she'd let herself go a bit since then, I think. 

 

I can't be arsed to feck about with switches and wiring as it's cold and rainy, so I  will laaaaaaaaaaauuuunch the Lancia back to Oxon and resume swearing at the electrics tomorrow.

 

PS:  whichever Italian smartarse invented that fusebox cover was a knob.  I reckon he did it on purpose.    Laugh it up, Mario, you twat.

 

PPS:  that's actually completely unfair, as the same fusebox cover is fine on a normally aspirated Beta.  it was Mario's friend Tossio who fucked everything up with the supercharger location.   

 

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

PS:  car also checked out by local Law Enforcement who slowed down their cop car to have a look as I was parking up.  I thought they might be going to do me for possession of an egregiously stupid old motor, but they just gave me the nod and went off to find some black people to shoot. 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Yesterday I got some top tailgating action from some giffer in an H reg  Proton Wira painted in a very pukey metallic green.  He was right up my chuff.  

 

That's the important bit, but here's a photo of the Lancia doing that posho lifestyle country living gig with chalky Chiltern  mud on its tyres while we went to the pub for scoffs.

 

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

The Lancia is lurking at a railway station car park after a recent car collection, and besides it has been too pissing it down to try to bodge electrics, but I am wondering in any event if I should give Roy the Mech a call.   I am neither wealthy nor noble, but am reminded of the advice given by Hilaire Belloc:-
 

 

Lord Finchley tried to mend the Electric Light
Himself. It struck him dead: And serve him right!
It is the business of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan. 

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Some more Lancia shiz:-

 

Firstest, I have said goodbye to the Spyder.  I received an offer I couldn't refuse.   I couldn't justify having two Betas, the HPE is the better of the two, and the convertible slot in the squadron de chod is to be taken by the wife's girliehairdressermobile.

 

Secondest, I have been entertained by the instruction book for the shite 1990s security system that some dude from the 90s put on the car, but which hopefully has by now been killed off.  The booklet is almost as long as the car handbook, and promises all sorts of unconvincing digital bollogs.  It claims it will water your donkey, fluff your missus, etc, and maybe even lock the car.  Executive summary:  "I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle."

 

The Spyder also came with a shite but analog 1990s security system, ie  a really crap immobliser built in to a special coil, which predictably failed and had to be ripped out with big cutty things as the cable to the ignition was made of indestructium.

 

Thirdest, some more comparisons of Spyder and HPE.  The gearing is different, and the HPE does not have the same push ahead from the second choke of the Weber when in fifth, but it leaps ahead if you give it the go go juice in third or fourth.    The HPE has stiffer springs, and for my money handles better than the Spyder.  My Spyder may perhaps have been set up less well than it should have been, and was a tad understeery when pushed into corners.  It had some OK Avons,  The HPE has some pretty spiffy Pirellis.  

 

Me muchee likee Lancia.

 

 

 

 

[skattrd]

I'm chuffed you're enjoying the HPE.

I need to let you have a go in my spyder at some point. It's got loads of polybushes on it and despite the 10yr old tyres I reckon it handles better than the HPE.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Cheers!  Would love a blat.  

 

My wife likes the airy interior of the HPE.  She found the Spyder (black vinyl seats, black carpets, and black roof) cramped and gloomy when the leaky top was up, and thinks the HPE looks and feels more modern and is generally more stylish than the somewhat jolie laide Spyder . She also likes the kickin' Choonze  - the Spyder had its original gash radio (broken) and a rubbish cassette deck (rubbish),  

 

Reviewers noted that the HPE produces a fair amount of wind wise, and it does,  It's almost as windy noisy as the Spider.  I wonder if renewing the door seals would make any difference, but CBA as the doors shut pretty well and the car doesn't appear to let water in.  

 

Still haven't looked at the wiring, may do so tomorrow if not busy at work.  

[Guest Breadvan72]

Lights problem finally sorted - dodgy switch.

 

Anyone want a slightly skanky but possibly saveable Beta Volumex Coupe?

 

See here.  WARNING: seller may be a bit of a twerb,

 

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1985C-Lancia-Volumex-Coupe-Black-nice-condition-fast-and-VERY-beautiful-/221386443735?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item338ba90bd7&clk_rvr_id=597855625240&afsrc=1

 

 

 

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

I can haz tailights

 

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

OMG I broke me car!  Leaning in to plug an air compressor into the ciggy lighter socket and do the tyres, I slipped on the damp driveway, and snapped the windscreen wiper stalk off.  Arse!  I can still operate the wipers with some slight difficulty by moving the plastic mounting, but the back of the mounting has snapped away, so can't relocate the stalk.

 

Me: idiot, me.  Not to be trusted with motahs.  

 

I will ponder on some bodge fix, as finding that sort of plastic gidget without access to a scrap car may be tricky.  Betaboyz hardly ever reply to emails, but Omicron are very helpful, though most of their stuff is for pre Beta Lancias.

[Tayne]

Use cocktail / lollipop sticks as splints and duct tape as a bandage to effect a temporary* repair.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Classy.

[320touring]

Rainex...

 

Or smash the front screen.

 

Hth

[Guest Breadvan72]

When I was driving my Interceptor around Italy in 2010, the windscreen wiper motor failed during a torrential rain storm while we were on an Autostrada near Milan.  I found that the solution was to drive (much) faster.  I kid you not!   I was pretty tense by the time that we reached the turnoff for our hotel.    Six Negronis later, I was starting to relax. 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Someone save this one please!

 

I thought of bidding on it in order to bum it for body and trim parts, but it looks too good for that.

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Lancia-Beta-HPE-/291104730791?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item43c731aea7

 

 

Possible bumwagon here, but way over the odds for a bummage receptacle.

 

 

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=331154233318&fromMakeTrack=true&ssPageName=VIP:watchlink:top:en

 

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I wouldn't pay much for a bummage receptacle

[Guest Breadvan72]

Sound advice.  There is a shagged out Beta Spyder up at the moment as well.  It was under 500 last time I looked,   Shorter wheelbase than an HPE, but still partly bummable.  

[Guest Breadvan72]

As noted elsewhere, I can haz a rusty HPE IE to shag for spares, but while I was sorting that out I sent the Volumex off to some blokes to fit a new downpipe (twenty quid from Betaboyz) as the old one had a weld on it that had failed.  The mid box had also failed quite badly, but I could not find a replacement, so the dudes welded it up.  Total labour for new front section and repaired mid section:  Ã‚£108.  Parts £20 plus postage.  That's my kind of old Italian sporty car motoring expenses!  Ferraris, fook off. 

 

Off out for an egregious blat at 7 am this morning, the only hazards being some early cyclists  (I admire them, as the Chilterns are a steep pull on a bike), a Series Landy or two (who would have one of THEM?) and a tractor carrying a metric fuck-tonne of pigshit.  Roads generally empty, so cue mega zoomification.  With the exhaust all righty tighty, the car sounds ace and fair flies along like a bastard.   When the Supercharger kicks in, the World goes all blurry.    

 

After a stop for coffee, the roads filled up with lots of Lotus Elsies and a couple of (modern) Europas - some sort of meeting going on.     An early 1960s Jag XK ahead of me exchanged flashy flashies with an E Type coming the other way.  Spring has sprung!

[Skizzer]

Jealous.  Sulking.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Buy the late metallic blue HPE IE that's for sale on carand classic.   Haggle the seller down a chunk.  Buy a Volumex unit from some Old-MG Mong on Old -MG MongWURLD.com, and buy a Volumex Manifold from Betaboyz (dey gotz one).   Then you can haz OMG fuel injected HPE Volumex, car of maximum WINNAGE.

 

http://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C479926

 

http://www.triple-mregister.org/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=7807

 

http://www.triple-mregister.org/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=7541

[Skizzer]

You are a VERY bad influence.  That's my favourite colour for these, too.  AND the wife's away all week.  Hmm.

[Guest Breadvan72]

That IE looks to be worth having in its own right, and could perhaps be Volumexed with some faffage and expense  if you are not a slave to originality.    Saving a Volumex Unit from the old MG wankers would be a triumph in itself.

 

Betaboyz tell me that IEs are now rarer than Volumexes.

[Guest Breadvan72]

PS:  I bet the seats on the IE are beshaggered, because (1) they always are, and (2) the vendor hasn't put up a photo of them.

 

I currently have an old tweed jacket permanently hung over the driver's seat in the Volumex, to cover up and protect the bald bit on the bolster, which has gone through to the foam.    The jacket vaguely matches the colours of the seat.   

[Guest Breadvan72]

More evil tempation shiz:  The one in the ad has a broken driver's window winder.  If it's electric, guess who happens to have a spare window motor. eh?  If it's a keep fit special, you can buy the bits for those quite easily from all the usual places.  

[Skizzer]

Get thee behind me, Satan! 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Plan A:  You haggle like a fookah and get TOP DEAL using superior shiter negotiating SKILLZ.  Then you getz train from Swansea to Oxenforde via some shizhole such as Swindon or some such totes dump.  I meetz you at Oxford British Rail shack in red HPE.  We drivez to Kentland, swapping merry banter, singing along to authentic 1980s Eurythmics CD, and swearing at the petrol gauge.  You drivez back to Waleshire in blue HPE, pausing for formation petrol pump photo op and Ginster's Buffet Bar junkfood of SHAEM.  Tis a job jobulated.

 

Plan B: as Plan A, but involves four hour wait for RAC low loader somewhere near Maidstone.

[Skizzer]

Ah, you make it sound so simple.  

 

I shall have to see what next week looks like work-wise - am supposed to be on a job in London but it's all gone suspiciously quiet.  Also need to figure out where I'd hide the thing so the missus doesn't find it until I've got rid of something else.