AS in the community: Cannock Motor Auctions

[Lord Sterling]

That Silver Audi A4 estate that conked just after the hammer went down and had to be pushed out of the auction room was the highlight of the auction I reckon!

 

That picture of the burger is making me hungry too. I did take a pic of my burger this time with smaller onions as requested.

[Junkman]

To my absolute delight, the two other FTPs of the day were both of German provenance, despite all cars made there are

sooooo reliable, never break, and last eternally.

[Sloth in a bowl]

Mr Conelrad's X-type choice actually went for 400, which brings him much more annoyingly close to the winner's circle,

and lost me a cup of tea. We had an internal bet going on, whose X-type choice sells cheaper.

His rare dark blue 3 litre manual beat my overwhelmingly pointless light blue metallic 2.5 litre bader by 100 quid.

 

 

Good spot Junkman, I have now fixed that on the main list. Conrad even put 'S-type manual lol' as the model down on his sheet.

A manual 3 litre S-type seems like a fine motor to me.

 

The 'best' fail to proceed was an Audi A6 2.4SE (Y plate) that conked out 2 seconds after the hammer fell (at £410) and had to be pushed out of the shed by its new owner and friends. 

 

The Bora TDI was chucking out more noxious fumes than a cold Gardner and with the sweet smell of terminal HGF thrown in. The hammer fell at £625 despite all this and the fact that it had done 178k in 2008 yet was now on 109k. Some people are born suckers. How it had a full years MoT only God and a dodgy backstreet garage will know.

[Sloth in a bowl]

My would drive home happy in that list was:

 

MG TF at £600, 2004 plate possibly only 54k miles, very clean bodywork, no obvious HGF.

Jag S-Type at £400, 1999 plate, manual V6 petrol

Rover 75 Classic Tourer at £220, 2002 plate, 82k miles

Vectra Elite CDTI (2006 plate) at £700, Yes, it's a Vectra on 194k miles, but it was fully loaded with toys and then some.

[Junkman]

For me it was the 220 quid 75 Tourer, no doubt. I would have even paid 225 for it.

There was also a fine veggie Mondeo in posh Ghia spec, that went for 160, and thus would have won me the Diesel class,

had I chosen it instead of the semi-derelict Avensis in pogweasle lacquer peel and with a shady past.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

sorry no pictures of the real action but I noticed this fine example of how not to prep your car for an auction.

 

... and here's an example of how to prepare your car ka for auction. 

 

1: rattle can the entire side matt black, including spraying directly over rust.

2: apply a wavy pinstripe so badly that it looks like the panel is dented even where it is not. 

3: sit back and watch as it gets bid to the moon!

[Pillock]

160 on a diesel Mondeo Ghia? I spent more than that on a night out for the family last night..... Seriously cheap car.

[AnthonyG]

That MG TF sounds like a real bargain.

[Junkman]

... and here's an example of how to prepare your car ka for auction. 

 

1: rattle can the entire side matt black, including spraying directly over rust.

2: apply a wavy pinstripe so badly that it looks like the panel is dented even where it is not. 

3: sit back and watch as it gets bid to the moon!

 

That miserable piece of shit cost me the outright win!

Minutes later the actually quite tidy green one sold for 20 quid less.

Who in his right mind would have put the better of the two on his list?

 

Again, the bidding didn't follow any rationale, exactly like last time.

 

- An Avensis diesel wreck selling for more than twice of a very nice diesel Mondeo Ghia.

- That ultra pov spec S320 with airport taxi written all over it and running on farts being bid into hyperspace.

- A frog green Matiz (sp) with a 2013 tax disc selling for 100 quid more than a tidy and MoTed embassy blue S-type.

 

Halfway through the auction, I was tempted to walk up to the control desk and ask the admin lady there in the broadest Austrian accent

I can muster east of Arnold Schwarzenegger, why they don't mention how much tax is left on those cars.

I buried the idea when Caseracer told me she is quite a dragon.

She does look like she can spit fire and reduce one to a smoldering burnt corpse, I have you know.

 

The most irrational thing however is, that despite one is almost gassed in there with diesel fumes, burning a few tobacco leaves is forbidden.

So the encounter of the day for me was that after I had voiced my chagrin about this fact, and went outside for a fag, a gent with a

complexion hinting at quite some migratory background, who was also enjoying a cigarette, said to me: "yeah, they almost kill you

with their diesels in there, but smoking is forbidden. What a bunch of utter bollox."

[chaseracer]

^^ Cannock, ay it? 

 

What can I tell you... I've only lived here for 23 years, so I'm still a furriner... 

[oldcars]

Now for the pictures:

 

We meet at a Truck Shop:

 

at which there are a few trucks

 

and this epic Montego owned by a non-Autoshiter

 

the cars of the motley crew get to the auction house

 

to explore rows of tatty chod

 

 

sorry no pictures of the real action but I noticed this fine example of how not to prep your car for an auction.

 

Yes Kia Pride! Was it up for sale or is it a members on here?

[Lord Sterling]

Kia Pride belongs to Sloth_in_Bowl (That's his user name on here, not literally a Sloth in Bowl)

[Sloth in a bowl]

Yes Kia Pride! Was it up for sale or is it a members on here?

 

The thread you want to look at is... http://autoshite.com/topic/16574-a-car-for-shitefest-with-shite-now-bought-and-collected/

 

Then look at... http://autoshite.com/topic/16928-shitefest-wales-2014-photo-thread/

 

I never intended to like that car as much as I do, but it will probably be up for sale next spring when I look for a replacement car for shitefest.

[oldcars]

Cheers will have a read, like them same era as my Shuma and much Mazda running gear.

[Inspector Morose]

Anyone up for brekkie and a mooch this Saturday?

[Lord Sterling]

I'm up fae it. Plus I'll be travelling in style too, albeit a bit bouncier than normal.

[chaseracer]

Yes.  9.30ish at the Hollies, as per? 

[Pillock]

I'm in.

 

Might have young_master_Pillock in tow, but he's mostly harmless and I'll gaffer tape his arms down so I don't go home with an ex-minicab Octavia or something.

[Inspector Morose]

Aye, 9:30 sounds about right.

[Pillock]

Also, the OMGHFHMGF is taxed so I won't pollute the shite lineup with 14-plate hire car nonsense

[Sloth in a bowl]

Will check to see if I have an alternate booking, but keen on joining in.

[Junkman]

Junkmanish presence is considered.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

I also. 

[Inspector Morose]

Right, to all the regulars, it's a date then! To anyone else considering coming, it's 9:30 at the New Hollies truck stop on the A5 near Cannock for breakfast and an ogle at other members cars then a saunter down the road to Cannock auctions where a veritable smorgasbord of tat usually goes through for us to peruse, finishing when you get bored or the last dregs go through, around dinner time.

 

See you all there!

[chaseracer]

I wonder what game Julian will come up with this time? 

 

[Sloth in a bowl]

I wonder what game Julian will come up with this time? 

 

 

Regulars will be pleased* to hear that the new and improved* Autoshite Auction Game forms have been printed.

 

We have 2 extra cars to find over last time:

Motorway Monster - over 2400cc engine

Workman's Wheels - any 4x4, van or pickup

 

So bring a pen or pencil to join the fun* and get the top shite buyer bragging rights.

[chaseracer]

Might have young_master_Pillock in tow, but he's mostly harmless and I'll gaffer tape his arms down so I don't go home with an ex-minicab Octavia or something.

 

An apprentice of shite!

 

[Pillock]

Is it wrong to admit this is turning into the highlight of my week?

[Sloth in a bowl]

Is it wrong to admit this is turning into the highlight of my week?

 

Are you and master Pillock going to work as a team on the Autoshite Auction game or will it be a family at war with itself?

[Pillock]

We shall see. Perhaps he plays too much Forza Motorsport to know the true value of a 1997 Nissan Almera with 180k and the EML glowing.