Spottage: The Shite of Old London Town

[Guest]

Krap Kar Kraziness - all of these munters live within 400 metres of my front door, near Highbury Corner. This is merely a selection of the skanky horrors on display in my street and the neighbouring street. Truly, the shite is strong with the Guardian-reading yoghurt-knitters of Islington.

 

I apologise for the shitey photogs. This is partly because some of the cars ming so badly that my phone shook with rage at being made to snap them, and partly because I had a nutsoid puppydog on a lead, attempting to pull me into the path of passing Ocado vans. Also, it was blindingly sunny, and my SpackerPhone can't cope with extremes of light.

 

I start upmarket, with some yuppie dream-mobile.

 

 

Non minty Polo.

 

 

Things go rapidly downhill from here on.

 

 

Qualitatscheisse!

 

 

Was ist das? Anuzzer SheisseMerc? Ach, zo.

 

 

They sure do love their Volvos oop north London.

 

 

Lurking in this gloom there is a Mitsubishi Space Wagon. I will get a better shot of it later, if I can be arsed.

 

 

Utterly gopping Nissan Shitbox. Note high tech rad shield.

 

 

Feck me, an actual classic car, but the harsh light knacked this Beetleshot. The Punto next to it came out invisible, so bright was the sun.

 

 

This Polo has more than one hole in it, I reckon.

 

 

Mini and Camper

 

 

Camper and Mini

 

 

Of course, I saved the best for last. This is the famous local Maestro that has Princess Di talking to its owner through the radio. I shit you not. Anyway, thanks for viewing, spottagers.

 

[Skizzer]

This Polo has more than one hole in it, I reckon.

 

 

Snap! I had one identical to this in the late 80s, right down to the covers broken off the number plate lights. Happy days. Formel-E spec brings you a stop-start system that cuts the engine when you put it in neutral and restarts when you bring the gearlever back across the gate. I borrowed a Skoda Citigo petrol the other week that had the same thing, and in fact felt like a remarkably similar car all round (but wider).

 

I parked the Polo upside down in a Devon ditch once, thanks to a combination of mud on the road and horrible understeer followed by monstrous lift-off oversteer. Fortunately I wasn't going particularly fast and scrubbed off most of the speed sideways so just toppled gently over the edge. The roof dent just got beaten out. Still got scratched to buggery crawling out of the window and through a thick hedge to escape. I've been deeply distrustful of front wheel drive ever since, but that's another thread.

 

Sorry for the drift - good spots

[HillmanImp]

Can I be the first to ask WTF is going on with the front of that camper?

[Skizzer]

Can I be the first to ask WTF is going on with the front of that camper?

 

You used to see quite a few of those BITD - I think it's an aftermarket storage box to add to the meagre luggage capacity of these, unless someone convinces me it's an Aussie-market aircon unit or something.

[Guest]

I shall have a closer look at the curious camperbox next time I walk past it. I shall also take some more pics of the dark blue Polo, as it is hilariously manky and scrofulous. It is someone's daily, as far as I can tell.

[Disco Fever]

Can I be the first to ask WTF is going on with the front of that camper?

Is it where the spare wheel lives?

[worldofceri]

Formel-E spec brings you a stop-start system that cuts the engine when you put it in neutral and restarts when you bring the gearlever back across the gate.

Seriously? VW were doing a stop-start system as long ago as 1983? I bet that was reliable.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

You could get a stop-start Fiat Regata! The 'ES' model i think. I'm quite sure it would have a 'traffic light malfunction' on the way home from the showroom.

[worldofceri]

Wow. First thing I ever drove with stop-start was an 11 plate Merc lorry (although I didn't know it at first). I was most alarmed when it cut out in the middle of some roadworks on the M1.

[Spiny Norman]

The old VAG Formel E ones worked pretty well if the old Golf a mate had was anything to go by.

You had to give it a second or so to fire though, which meant either pre-empting the start at the traffic lights GP or prepare to be last away.

I see some modern BMWs have the same type of system with exactly the same problem, so I can guess most of them get switched off once the embarrassment of getting beaten away from the lights by every white van sinks in.

[Guest]

I popped out again and took some more happy snappies.

 

The blue Polo in all its chodtastic terribleness:

 

 

 

Some random Fordoshite

 

 

A better view of the Beetle. It's a K reg car, so 1970/71. Pristine,except for scabby chrome on rear bumper.

 

 

The Nissan again, just because it's so fookin ace. Epic dent on rear nearside.

 

 

The Space Wagon deserves further and better spotitude. Bonus Fizzy included for scale. Severe cladge on nearside rear arch.

 

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[Guest]

I add that the Polo is far, far worse in real life than the photos suggest. It positively hums with mingage. I love it.

[Skizzer]

Formel-E spec brings you a stop-start system that cuts the engine when you put it in neutral and restarts when you bring the gearlever back across the gate.

Seriously? VW were doing a stop-start system as long ago as 1983? I bet that was reliable.

Actually it was pretty reliable - my B-reg example was 7 years old and had 66k on the clock when I sold it and it never failed to fire as long as the car had warmed up a bit. You could switch the system off though (and were supposed to when the engine was cold). I did normally try and guess when the lights were likely to change, but then a 1050cc Polo with a 3+E gearbox was never going to be a serious contender for the ring road standing quarter mile trophy.

 

Did make me chuckle when BMW claimed this was revolutionary in about 2009.

 

Edited to add: that one does look a bit tired though, doesn't it? Sod the rat look, you can't fake 30 years of neglect. I love it too, thanks for posting Breadvan.

[greengartside]

That Polo has a certain charm about it. 'YP' registration indicates this a London car and has probably never seen beyond the M25 since it's birth.

[stormee]

Can I be the first to ask WTF is going on with the front of that camper?

Is it where the spare wheel lives?

Yes!

[chaseracer]

Can I be the first to ask WTF is going on with the front of that camper?

Is it where the spare wheel lives?

Yes!

A square wheel? Well, it wouldn't go any slower...

[garethj]

Sometimes camper vans have those big boxes on the front to house a radiator, if the engine's replaced with a watercooled one.

 

Good spots indeed. When I worked in South Kensington there was some delicious chod parked around the streets, it's nice to see a £3 million house with a £500 car outside where the toffs live. In other parts of the country it's a £200k house with £60k cars which makes it look like people are trying too hard.

 

The choice of cars for the discerning Londoner hasn't changed much in the 5 years since I worked there; RWD Volvos, Mercs from around 1990 and Volkswagens from the same era.

[Guest]

Islington has a lot of groovy chicks and cooler than thou gay blokes living in it, all with disposable incomes and a sense of style, so 70s to mid 90s Mercedes coupes and convertibles abound. There are also, for similar reasons, loads of Jaaaaaaaaaaaag XJSs, and a few quite tidy 1980s Beemers, often driven by happenin' dudes with big Afros, and aviator shades that can be seen from Space. I may have to go on an errand on my FIzzy in a bit, so I will look out for some spottages. Back in the day when I laughed at petrol bills, I used to smoke about the place in me Fabboceptor, which was then quite rusty. Now it is un-rusty and very newly painty, but I can't afford to fix the exhaust or buy it some petrol. Hey, ho, back in the ChuggaPug.

[Guest]

Arse. All the Mercs and Jaaaags have gone on holiday, or have dissolved in the rain and snow. I saw a fabby 1971 Capri, orange with vinyl roof, that I have seen before, and a truly splendid PINK Mini Clubman from circa 1975, but they and I were on the move, so no photies.

 

My only trophy from the sortie was this fine piece of Teuto-tat.:-

 

 

[Dr Mike Oxgreen]

Wasn't the air-cooled Altnazipimpenwagen in the background worth a piccy?

[Guest]

I did consider it, Dr Mike, but it's a bit posh for round here. It was an F reg Carrera 2.