All modern cars is ghey.

[Spiny Norman]

probably nearer 1800KG with some fuel, a boot full of tat and me in it and I could lock the rear wheels with two fingers-worth of upward pressure on the stubby handbrake lever.

Locking the wheels on a car is pretty easy, if a car's got lots of weight it's got lots of momentum so locking the wheels when driving is even easier. What is more difficult is holding all that weight on a steep hill......

 

That was kinda the implication....

 

It could lock the wheels, it could slow the car down and hold it on Gardener Street in Glasgow. (HERE) It would do all the things you'd expect a handbrake system to do.

Except not work when the battery was flat and cost £500 to fix when it went wrong. The handbrake on the Royale did fail, the cable was £18.

 

On another note, what exactly do manufacturers do with the newly-liberated real estate between the seats when the handbrake lever gets swapped for a button or whatever the 'leccy ones have?

My Merc has the usual stupid foot operated parking brake and I have to say the area between the seats looks a little bare. Sure there's a nice armrest and some shiny wood-u-like covers on the storage bin but there's nothing you don't get on other modern cars with a normal handbrake.

The Saab manages to fit switches for the windows, roof, the ignition switch and a handbrake lever between its seats.

[Albert Ross]

They make the car wider, with wider sills, to make certain that when you DO find a parking space, you can't actually get out of your car because the doors are also too thick. My Land Rover doors are 2mm thick, with a 30mm thick frame. I'm not dead yet. Also, In less width of a modern car, I have THREE seats across the front, not just two, and can get in and out of tight spaces no issue.

[Guest]

Right, so having plip central locking is shit now? Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

 

The inverted snobbery on here is really getting tiresome - some of you are spurning genuine advances in technology for the sake of it.

[Richard]

Originally the objection was to two-stage locking, which is a bit of an annoyance, but it does seem to have progressed to remote locking in general.

[rml2345]

^ It seems to have progressed to the "NU KARS R SHIT" stage.

In almost every respect, my dads 2002 Omega is a better car than mine. More power, easier to drive, better ventilation, airbags, driver aids and that's a a 10-11 year old car itself.

I love my Volvo but technology has moved on largely for the better. Yes some cars are worse than others, as there always has been but the gap IMHO is much smaller now.

That's what I think anyway...

[M'coli]

Originally the objection was to two-stage locking

I've never had a car with central locking that does this, but I'd rather have it this way. It's not a big deal, is it? Press it once if only you're getting into the car, press it twice if you need more than the driver's door open. Sounds ideal to me.

[Barry Cade]

My 8-year-old Scenic has an electric handbrake. Not had any issues with it so far apart from the time the battery went flat and I couldn't get the brake to release, so had to do some "interesting" manoeuvres with the Rover to get in as close as possible and then use two sets of jump leads joined end to end. In normal use though it's been fine - seems to release just as quickly as I could release a manual brake, and the fact it releases automatically does make one less thing to faff with on hill starts. I'm not sure it'd be much good as an emergency brake in case of hydraulic failure though, as it seems to be either on or off.

 

 

There is an emergency release in the boot- just make sure you don't release it when standing behind the car whilst facing downhill....

 

Remote locking is brilliant, the original system went down on the Carina, so it was replaced with a Chinese one off Ebay for 11 quid. works from miles away

 

Anyone had the misfortune to try and remove and replace the spare wheel on a newish Clio? Krypton Factor stuff...

 

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

As much as I like conveniences in moderns, electronic handbrakes are bollocks. Some of the Vauxhalls and early BMW attempts had a big motor in the tunnel that pulls on two cables and actuates the handbrake. Not too bad but I never had a problem with a lever. They always worked on big heavy cars for me.

The real shitness is (surprise surprise) in VAG stuff with the motorised calipers. They're the ones with the plastic casing that splits open letting water in, with the wiring loom problems, switch problems and every other problem they could engineer in. A pair of calipers is around a grand I believe. ECP do motors for less (£150 each iirc) but it's all shit you don't need.

 

A set of handbrake shoes for an older car is about 15 quid and cables around the same.

 

Whilst modern technology is GR8, it's going to be a localised smart in the rectal area when they're old, an MOT is looming and the dash is lit up like a Christmas tree with ABS ACS ABD FRO TPC warnings, the EPB doesn't work and you have to consider weighing an otherwise decent car.

 

Oh, and the VAG handbrakes are shit anyway. The motor clamps the disc just enough - and if it clamps a hot disc and the disc cools, the handbrake caliper doesn't compensate because there is no cable tension. The caliper grip relaxes and the car goes for an unplanned ride. Plenty of stories about runaway Audis - the best one is from a guy whose A5 ended up in the garden of the bloke living across the road. The first he knew is when the irate recipent of the A5 knocked on his door. The general advice is to drive the car gently the last couple of miles so the discs cool, and if parking on a hill, put the front wheels on full lock against the kerb. What a load of shit.

[Barry Cade]

Oh, and the VAG handbrakes are shit anyway. The motor clamps the disc just enough - and if it clamps a hot disc and the disc cools, the handbrake caliper doesn't compensate. The caliper grip relaxes and the car goes for an unplanned ride. Plenty of stories about runaway Audis - the best one is from a guy whose A5 ended up in the garden of the bloke living across the road. The first he knew is when the irate recipent of the A5 knocked on his door. The general advice is to drive the car gently the last couple of miles so the discs cool, and if parking on a hill, put the front wheels on full lock against the kerb. What a load of shit.

 

Xantia's were doing this years ago... Citroen's recall consisted of removing the first few teeth on the handbrake ratchet so you had to pull the lever up further...

 

This was usually the result..

 

[Lacquer Peel]

Anyone had the misfortune to try and remove and replace the spare wheel on a newish Clio? Krypton Factor stuff...

 

What's so complicated about it, out of interest?

[Barry Cade]

You have to remove the jack etc first, then pull on a handle. Then unscrew a big plastic nob,then click the handle somehow, then pull it at exactly the right angle whilst reciting "Au Clair De La Lune". Then, but only if you are very lucky, the spare wheel will fall on your toes, if not so lucky and you've decided to have a look underneath to see what the hell's going on, it will fall on your head.

 

EDIT,

 

 

Just found this on Renault Forums...

 

"I have had a nightmare problem with the spare wheel on my new clio, I had a puncture recently and what a job I had to get the spare wheel out of the boot.

I am a woman who regularly drives many miles alone, thankfully I was at a retail park when I noticed the puncture but it was dark and very wet. I tried with no avail to even get the spare out of its location in the boot, I then called a friend who crews for a rally car team - he tried unsuccessfully to remove the spare and it was so cold and wet we had to abandon the car where it was and call it a night.

Returning the next morning with my husband in the daylight it wasnt much easier to get the wheel out but after much pulling and pushing we eventually managed.

It cost 100 pounds for a new wheel, and another mamoth struggle to fit the spare back into the boot. Who on earth designed this contraption stret t t t ch arm strong???

 

My neighbour who is also a lone woman driver has exactly the same car as me and I have warned her to get her sons to show her what to do with the spare, but to be honest I doubt if either of us would manage to change the wheel.

 

This has made me seriously consider getting rid of the car, I do not feel safe as I live in a remote area and often drive alone at night, should this happen on a lonely road I would be terrified."

 

 

AND

 

"this type spare is a real pain until you get used to it. but big word of warning like a local AA man found out about a year ago. if it feels jammed never go under the car to check as when he did it let off onto his face/head and made a mess of his face. only fell i short distance but i felt for the guy "

 

AND

 

I have a new shape Clio (06 plate), this spare wheel contraption has been a nightmare from day one - every mechanic that looks at it can't believe it and has never seen anything like it! Well, last night I was stranded on the motorway with a flat tyre. If it wasnt for this contraption I would be able to change the tyre myself with no problems. Anyway, out comes the AA man, and is another guy shocked at what he finds in the boot of my car! He says he has seen new shaped clios and has never come across this - have renault changed it since 2006??? We couldnt release it at all (after an hour of trying) and in the end it had to be smashed apart to release the wheel. So I now have a wheel in my boot along with various bits of plastic and metal!

 

Im awaiting a call back from renault to discuss this with them - not sure i'll get very far though!

 

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[freebird]

You have to remove the jack etc first, then pull on a handle. Then unscrew a big plastic nob,then click the handle somehow, then pull it at exactly the right angle whilst reciting "Au Clair De La Lune". Then, but only if you are very lucky, the spare wheel will fall on your toes, if not so lucky and you've decided to have a look underneath to see what the hell's going on, it will fall on your head.

Yes, had to do it on my 57 plate back when I had it. A stupid idea.

Mind you, if you have ever tried to get the spare wheel out from under a modern Transit then it makes the Clio idea seem brilliantly simple.

The Transit wheel is tucked up its own fundament, you have to be prepared to get your clothes filthy and, when the wheel is finally down, you have to drag it back ( its covered in road crap/roadkill and everything else) IF the steel wire has been slackened enough, undo the wing nut and remove the wheel from the bracket which is a basteward to put back into the wheel when you want to put the spare back on.

All of that pre supposes that you are on a perfectly flat and level surface and there are no bumps or lumps in the tarmac under the van to prevent the wheel from being extracted from under the back step.

I do like moderns tho.

[theorganist]

I have been surprised by a modern car this weekend.

 

Due to the Maxi not being ready this end of this week and my father in hospital I borrowed from my boss his step daughters 2001 Seat Arosa 1.4 diesel for the weekend.

 

I think it is what they class as a city car but I am sure it is about the same size as my mark 1 Renault 5 I had as my first car. Apart from very firm seats which I do not find wholly comfortable it is quite an engaging car to drive. It is quiet and quite sprightly from mid range. It does seem very high geared though and not particularly quick from a standing start. The road tax is £30 a year and it seems to be very economical. I think I could live with one!

[jonny69]

Also, there are not many activities outside a bed that beat the courtesy of unlocking the passenger door of a car, opening it to facilitate a lady's ingress, then closing the door for her, then taking the long way around the back of the car to unlock the driver's door. It's such galantry that can immensly help you landing in aforementined bed, young lad. All this goes completely down the toilet with those newfangled unromantic press-me-twice-bleep-blink-gadgets.

This post makes me sad. All the old Fords I've had can't be unlocked on the passenger side from the outside, which eliminates any opportunity for gallantry. No wonder most oldskool Ford owners are fackin Zetec caants*. No wonder I'm such a tragic singleton**. Having said that, you have to slam my passenger door so hard you nearly put the glass out of it; any act of gallantry would have to be preceded by "mind your fingers, love" *slam* attempt #2 *SLAM* or something along those lines.

 

 

*True story.

**Girls: may not be true. Don't get any ideas.

[Spiny Norman]

In almost every respect, my dads 2002 Omega is a better car than mine.

 

I borrowed from my boss his step daughters 2001 Seat Arosa 1.4 diesel for the weekend.

 

I love how on Autoshite 2001/2 cars are considered 'modern'

 

For me, the sort of "OMGNUCARZRSHIT" sentiment is reserved for the really new models with the pointless electronic guff and roof pillars that can hide a Transit van on a roundabout, not anything that doesn't have separate controls on the steering wheel for advancing the ignition and those ghey 'heater' things for women and cissies.

 

Cars between 1980 and 2000 are about as high-tech as they need to be, but all the subsequent 'advances' have been pretty pointless IMO.

[Barry Cade]

Cars between 1980 and 2000 are about as high-tech as they need to be, but all the subsequent 'advances' have been pretty pointless IMO.

 

[theorganist]

 

Re: All modern cars is ghey.

 

New postby studebaker hawk » Mon Feb 11, 2013 1:25 pm

 

rml245 wrote:In almost every respect, my dads 2002 Omega is a better car than mine.

 

 

 

theorganist wrote:I borrowed from my boss his step daughters 2001 Seat Arosa 1.4 diesel for the weekend.

 

 

 

I love how on Autoshite 2001/2 cars are considered 'modern'

 

Lol yes I suppose that true. I think a ten year old car today still seems a bit more modern than a ten year old car of ten years ago e.t.c!! Maybe it is just me.

 

The newest car I have owned was a 2002 Pug 206 which I considered modern but parked alongside a 2012 car I suppose you can see how things have changed even since then!

[vulgalour]

 

^That, is the newest car I've driven. Well, not that exact car, but one of that vintage. It was probably 2-3 years old when I drove it. I did grow to rather like it, but not enough that I'd actually part with my own money for one. The electric mirrors were a nice thing to have, as were the electric windows, but other than that I felt there wasn't really any improvement over the 80s stuff I was used to up until that point. I didn't use the air con, or the steering wheel controls for stuff, they felt unnecessary. The seat did feel too firm, and the steering wheel felt too small and too fat. The pillars were a bit too thick, particularly at road ends, and all round visibility was poorer than I'd've liked. I certainly didn't feel any more confident reversing the Feista than I do reversing the Princess.

 

The biggest improvement, I would say, was in the refinement of the cabin space. Rather than lots of wind noise and the sensation that one was in a metal box propelled by explosions, it all felt rather more detached but without that sensation that you were completely safely cocooned from other road users. It seemed to strike a happy balance for me between knowing what the car and environment is doing and being a moderately comfortable place to spend a good amount of time in.

 

Would I have it over my crusty old chod? Probably not. I like the fact that older cars are noisier at speed and that they require effort to drive, it gives me a greater sense of what speed I'm actually doing and of being in control in a way that the newer cars just don't.

 

The absolute newest car I've sat in would be a Ford Mondeo like the above and first impressions were that it was very comfortable in a manager's leather office chair sort of a way but I expect I'd despise driving something where I only had letterbox visibility and was surrounded in a little nest of plastic and aluminium facias. Very few modern cars excite me with their designs, and I'm yet to find a single modern car that I've sat in and wanted to spend a lot of time driving or being a passenger in, on the whole they feel very claustrophobic and as though they were designed for people who are not me.

[Justin Case]

Cars of ten years ago can have all the desirable safety features (ABS, traction control, Isofix child seat mountings, crumple zones) and those that make them better to drive and more reliable (engine management systems, purely electronic ignition systems, etc) as well as luxuries such as electric memory seats, climate control, remote central locking and just about everything else. It would appear then that there have been no real advances in the past decade which is just what several of us have been saying, and not since 1970 or 1955 or 1913 or whenever. Cars are no more economical in the real world now (see the Autocar road tests) as opposed to tests in artificial conditions and from the last six pages I don't think that anyone has said that they are more pleasant to drive.

 

Of course some cars on the market ten years ago were launched twenty years ago (Micra?), but there were more advances between 1983 and 1993, and between 1993 and 2003, than there have been since. (discuss )

[Bobthebeard]

Cars of ten years ago can have all the desirable safety features (ABS, traction control, Isofix child seat mountings, crumple zones) and those that make them better to drive and more reliable (engine management systems, purely electronic ignition systems, etc) as well as luxuries such as electric memory seats, climate control, remote central locking and just about everything else. It would appear then that there have been no real advances in the past decade which is just what several of us have been saying, and not since 1970 or 1955 or 1913 or whenever. Cars are no more economical in the real world now (see the Autocar road tests) as opposed to tests in artificial conditions and from the last six pages I don't think that anyone has said that they are more pleasant to drive.

 

Of course some cars on the market ten years ago were launched twenty years ago (Micra?), but there were more advances between 1983 and 1993, and between 1993 and 2003, than there have been since. (discuss )

 

Suspect most advances* in car design in the last decade or so are just the manufacturers trying to achieve a marketing advantage. Until some revolutionary breakthrough is discovered, all designers can do is tweak existing technology. The TV advertisements for new cars would appear to show this. Mostly aimed at 'lifestyle' and becoming increasingly vague about the actual car and its capabilities etc. Must be difficult for the car companies to actually find anything new to say really. Agree that nothing really new has appeared in the last ten years or so. Possibly LED lighting and Angel Eyes etc. But that is surely all part of the marketing/lifestyle/look at me industry? Form seems more important than function at the moment, but that will change eventually.

Admittedly LED lighting has improved massively of late, but more of a benefit in buildings than cars surely? Lower electricity bills in buildings etc.

[Des]

Suspect most advances* in car design in the last decade or so are just the manufacturers trying to achieve a marketing advantage.

Absolutely spot on, and that decade where car design seemed to lose its way was the decade of rampant consumerism, credit insanity and all that bollocks. Any car maker with a desire to keep ahead had to adjust to satisfy a new market, a whole lot of punters who want a big shiny gaudy rim on each corner of a rolling glitterturd.

 

Got my car back this morning, happy to never have to drive the Insignia again, had to clock up some serious miles in the thing and the more I drove it the nastier the headaches I've been getting, ones that paracetamol won't touch.

Some redeeming features though, it goes like shit. The usual awkward looking gap above the drivers head where the grab handle gets left off, well there's a really neat sprung glasses case filling the space, brilliant. The radio has a turny knob for tuning and volume, although not positioned in a conventional manner still good, and the washer jets produce a nice mist.