Bobthebeard Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 A friend* has just informed me that his newish VW has a sensor that detects smells like cow shit, bonfire smoke etc when driving and automatically switches the climate control into recirc mode until the smell has gone! Surely this must be total bollocks? He swears it is true. Imagine going into a VW dealership and asking them to check the smell sensor as a 'slight aroma of pooh entered the cabin of my VW Toerag on the M6 yesterday and I am deeply unhappy etc etc'Yeah right..... *He is an epic bullshitter tho. Hence the disbelief.
vulgalour Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 When he tells you about this again, just keep repeating what he says. When he finally asks why you're repeating him just tell him you sensed bullshit and went into recirc mode.
Bobthebeard Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 When he tells you about this again, just keep repeating what he says. When he finally asks why you're repeating him just tell him you sensed bullshit and went into recirc mode.
mk1_4dr Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 When he tells you about this again, just keep repeating what he says. When he finally asks why you're repeating him just tell him you sensed bullshit and went into recirc mode. HAHAHAHA. Do do (fnar) this though.
Mr Lobster Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 You can have automatic air recirculation if you specify climate control as a (costly) option on some new VWs. So whilst I don't think it would be able to go around sniffing for things it might automatically switch on under some [smelly] circumstances. If he has a base Polo though its probably unlikely.
Bobthebeard Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 You can have automatic air recirculation if you specify climate control as a (costly) option on some new VWs. So whilst I don't think it would be able to go around sniffing for things it might automatically switch on under some [smelly] circumstances. If he has a base Polo though its probably unlikely. He has a horrid big black VW SUV thingy. Given his desire to impress everyone he talks to, he probably has climate control TBH.Not so much a friend, more of a neighbour really. Epic liar, Mancunian MILF wife, two kids with silly names, massive trampoline in tiny back garden...etc. Seriously hope that his car does let nasty smells in! Meh!
Vanny Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Its called an Air Quality Sensor, it's pretty limited though, they normally pick up diesel particulate and some other gas which normally comes with cow muck, but they are far from perfect. A decent charcoal filter will take out most of the smell. He should see if there is a setting to increase the sensitivity, or failing that, just lock the thing in recirc and enjoy the misted up windscreen instead.
Bobthebeard Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 Its called an Air Quality Sensor, it's pretty limited though, just lock the thing in recirc and enjoy the misted up windscreen instead. Sounds ideal. Would stop him taking the piss out of my misted up 1988 shite.....
Albert Ross Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Ok, if it senses outdoor odours that may offend one's schnozz, what's it going to achieve when one susticates? WIll it shit it's own guts out, and create a vacuum whilst evacuating all breathable cabin air? I hope it does. Imagine all the lazy fat Mummies suffocating due to CO poisoning.... Tarquin and Isabella would have to W A L K to School!
Bobthebeard Posted January 18, 2013 Author Posted January 18, 2013 Ok, if it senses outdoor odours that may offend one's schnozz, what's it going to achieve when one susticates? WIll it shit it's own guts out, and create a vacuum whilst evacuating all breathable cabin air? I hope it does. Imagine all the lazy fat Mummies suffocating due to CO poisoning.... Tarquin and Isabella would have to W A L K to School! Quite so...... Though in his case it would be Jakki (wife) Jak (son) and Trix (daughter) Jakki is fairly attractive TBH. But I still hope her car smells of pooh.
vulgalour Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Trix? Really? I really hope it's short for something else like Patricia or something.
Morgan84 Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Is this guy Mr Gottoimpressandshoveitinyourface ? Ask why didn't he buy the Porsche Cayenne instead,or even the Audi
cobblers Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 When he tells you about this again, just keep repeating what he says. When he finally asks why you're repeating him just tell him you sensed bullshit and went into recirc mode. I'm going to have to quote this again because it's by far the smartest thing I've read all day.
Des Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 I need to book a test drive, I had the most diabolical squirts today, like when you pull the bottom hose off an old radiator, once dehydrated came farts like nothing of this world, a stench that challenges all laws of physics, I'll implode that VW heater.
barefoot Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 From what I have read, I suspect that Jakki (although attractive), would look a damn sight better with my cock in her mouth.
Spiny Norman Posted January 18, 2013 Posted January 18, 2013 Its called an Air Quality Sensor, it's pretty limited though, they normally pick up diesel particulate ... They should put the sensor near the exhaust pipe, then we could watch as the whole thing disappears up its own backside in some Star Trek-type causality loop...
Fritz Posted January 19, 2013 Posted January 19, 2013 More importantly, do we have any pictures of Jakki?
Bobthebeard Posted January 20, 2013 Author Posted January 20, 2013 More importantly, do we have any pictures of Jakki? Only one. It's very out of focus TBH. And the curtains were partially closed. The tree branch snapped as I was trying to get a better picture. Luckily I fell onto the trampoline and bounced back un harmed. Parky 1
Cavcraft Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 So your average silver or black TDi Golf owner is going to have a problem should he ever visit somewhere like Grimsby? There'll be a smell of fish outside {from actual fish} and a smell of fish inside, from the c*nt that is driving it.
Vanny Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 Ok, if it senses outdoor odours that may offend one's schnozz, what's it going to achieve when one suffocates? Well that's one of the big limitations, there are all kinds of legal limitations on blocking out fresh air, so it can only move to recirc for a limited time. Unfortunately after i think Merc started fitting them, now everyone has too or else they cant play the 'my dads better than yours' game.
Bobthebeard Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 Ok, if it senses outdoor odours that may offend one's schnozz, what's it going to achieve when one suffocates? Well that's one of the big limitations, there are all kinds of legal limitations on blocking out fresh air, so it can only move to recirc for a limited time. Unfortunately after i think Merc started fitting them, now everyone has too or else they cant play the 'my dads better than yours' game. The world has truly gone mad! Whatever next? Tins of fish that contain fish? Boxes of eggs that contain eggs? Packs of nuts that contain.... Ohhh.... Nuts?Warning. The outside World contains smells. Really......??
Morgan84 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 What would be good is a " Anti-flatulence interior enhancement module which at the detection of methane,will release a gentle perfume to embellish the aroma " - Thats how you would market a anti-fart spray
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