Annoying flaws / design features.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

I was so excited when driving them that I parked up and walked the rest of the way in the pissing rain.

 

 

Then you're either lying, or you're a fucking idiot.

 

What's it to be? Either seems plausible!

 

OK.

 

Seeing as you asked so nicely (what is your problem with me by the way?), I accept your challenge.

 

Yes, perhaps I was a 'fucking idiot' for trying to understand what so many people saw in the Golf Mk 6. I was beginning to wonder if there really was something I was missing out on. Perhaps I was wrong.

I lent my mate John's nearly new TDi when he went on holiday. You'd love him Rev, he's got an iPhone to go with the car and everything - a match made in heaven.

 

I was so utterly underwhelmed that I was convinced that John's was a dog, or that I was mysteriously trapped in a parallel universe unable to appreciate the subtleties and nuances. Sorry, but it did nothing for me at all. Is there a hidden button that changes it into another car or something? It wasn't even that good on fuel - 38 MPG and I wasn't thrashing it bar a quick blezz down my favourite bit of country road. I did it faster in my 480 by the way, and that was when it had really shit tyres on it.

 

My puzzlement continued when I took it to my old job on a weekend shift. Jesus wept - it was like I'd turned up hanging out of Zooey Deschenel. You see, what I thought I'd turned up in was a bland German hatchback with no redeeming features at all. Competent? Yes. Special? No. Memorable? Forget it. It was like being on the outer edge of a secret society. Everyone went all gooey over it as if I'd somehow surmounted a massive social barrier and gone on to better things. It left me baffled and none the wiser as to why people fawn over them to the extent that they do.

 

So, I ask of you, please, put an idiot out of his misery - what is there about the Mk 6 Golf that is so brilliant? It seemed to me like a very expensive way of getting around whilst bored shitless. However, as you seem to be 'in the know', what with your BMWs, personal number plates, 90 MPH fast lane exploits and so on, care to educate a moron from the wrong end of the M62? We don't have VWs where I'm from, they're impossible to comprehend. In fact, I'm still struggling now.

 

I took it back to John's after work and shoved the keys through the letterbox. You'll be pleased to know that I had an envelope to hand so they were suitably disguised. There was a Co-Op round the corner so I thought I'd get a newspaper while I waited for the bus. We have shelters for public transport in Sale so we can huddle en masse in the rain watching Golfs drive past, tearful in abject misery, yearning for the day when we can better ourselves.

 

Instead I carried on walking. Needed the exercise, you see. My coat has a hood because I'm very sophisticated.

 

Oh, and I was lying. The weather had cleared up by the time I got home.

 

I'd also left my copy of Jane Eyre on the passenger seat.

 

Your Greatest Fan,

 

Wat.

 

Simple.

 

If - as you stated - you abandoned a perfectly acceptable mode of transport to walk in the rain, then you need to see a Doctor - you clearly aren't right.

 

Or - as I suspect - if you just made it up to make yourself look clever..........keep on trying!

 

Love and kisses - and do try not to be so dramatic..

 

 

P.S My TDi 140 renter averaged 60 mpg. Never said it was the best thing ever, just a pleasant new car. Okay?

 

Oh - me and the Vectra D are getting on famously now. Took a couple of days to acclimatise myself to the silly bits, but it's okay really.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Land Rover got it wrong in 1971 when they moved the key to the column. I like my simple central dash and key switch. No steering lock to fuck up either.

 

I'm with you on that entirely. Dash mounted ignition switches are far more pleasant. Especially the ones with the old FS keys.

 

 

Can't beat a bit of Wilmot Breeden action.

 

200 years ago, Minis and Minor 1000's went from an ignition key and starter button to a combined starter. My Dad converted Mum's 1961 Mini to a key start 40 years ago - a huge improvement.

Now though we're back to sodding buttons - an utter pain in the arse. Fasion has got in the way of practicality with new cars it seems.

[trigger]

Ford Puma boots, If it was raining and you opened it all the water from the tailgate would run straight into the boot and all over your shopping, well thought out Ford!

[Guest]

Oh Rev, you passive aggressive shitstain, you do go on.

 

John needed his car back. Made a lovely story didn't it? So you can't explain why Mk 6 Golfs are so wonderful then - like everybody else. I suppose the mystery will remain unsolved. I take it John's car is fucked then, since its fuel consumption was so tragic. You do keep me guessing. I'll ask my doctor what he thinks of them when I go about my ear infection. It's something to talk about I suppose.

 

Have fun in the outside lane in your pseudo Audi. I'll wave or something. Did you decide why your original response to my post was so vitriolic, or were you just having a shit day?

 

Ah well, just another car for the list I don't understand the fuss about..............

 

1. Mazda MX-5

2. VW Golf Mk 4, 5 and 6

3. More or less every Audi ever made since 1998

4. New Mini versions 1 and 2

5. BMW X5

[tonedepear]

3. More or less every car ever made since 1998

 

EFA

[Guest Len H]

^Aye.

 

Is 60MPG very impressive? It's not difficult to get mid 50s MPG out of extremely old fashioned distributor pump indirect injection diesels.

[scaryoldcortina]

Annoying? Know where the bonnet release is on a Suzuki Samurai? Inside the glovebox!

 

Actually, thanks for that. I tested a Jimini this morning after reading your post last night and found the bonnet release straight away

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Oh Rev, you passive aggressive shitstain, you do go on.

 

John needed his car back. Made a lovely story didn't it? So you can't explain why Mk 6 Golfs are so wonderful then - like everybody else. I suppose the mystery will remain unsolved. I take it John's car is fucked then, since its fuel consumption was so tragic. You do keep me guessing. I'll ask my doctor what he thinks of them when I go about my ear infection. It's something to talk about I suppose.

 

Have fun in the outside lane in your pseudo Audi. I'll wave or something. Did you decide why your original response to my post was so vitriolic, or were you just having a shit day?

 

Ah well, just another car for the list I don't understand the fuss about..............

 

1. Mazda MX-5

2. VW Golf Mk 4, 5 and 6

3. More or less every Audi ever made since 1998

4. New Mini versions 1 and 2

5. BMW X5

 

 

I'm sure Freud has the answer to your 'issues'...............what else do the voices say?

[Guest]

I'm sure Freud has the answer to your 'issues'...............what else do the voices say?

 

You're being a cunt for no reason. I happened to disagree with you about a boring German hatchback. For some reason you decided to post back a torrent of abuse - for why, I know not.

 

Should we draw a line under this, or do you want to continue filling this thread with shit?

[dollywobbler]

Given previous experience, I'd suggest the latter. Unfortunately.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

I'm sure Freud has the answer to your 'issues'...............what else do the voices say?

 

You're being a cunt for no reason. I happened to disagree with you about a boring German hatchback. For some reason you decided to post back a torrent of abuse - for why, I know not.

 

Should we draw a line under this, or do you want to continue filling this thread with shit?

 

I'm perfectly happy to take option 2. But you need to take a step back and look at what you've written. I happened to mention that a Mark 6 Golf - not the most exciting car ever made - was perfectly pleasant. To say that you walked home in the pissing rain rather than drive it was utterly preposterous when the truth was a bit different.

However, I agree to draw a line under it, and apologise for making the initial remark.

 

 

 

Dollywobbler however loves to get involved in other folks dipsutes, adding nothing of any value. Again. Unfortunately.

[M'coli]

It's a dispute in public on a public forum - don't be so sanctimonious, you brought it on yourself.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

It's a dispute in public on a public forum - don't be so sanctimonious, you brought it on yourself.

 

How very pious of you.

 

You just don't know when to butt out, do you?

[R9UKE]

Right..... back to topic.

 

My newly acquired 97 Audi A6 does a little honk of the horn when locked. WHY????

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Right..... back to topic.

 

My newly acquired 97 Audi A6 does a little honk of the horn when locked. WHY????

 

It's a VAG thing. My Mum's Tiguan does the same - in the middle of a busy car park it's sodding annoying. However, I don't recall the assorted old A4's and Golfs I've driven/borrowed doing this.

 

1997- is that the first with the rounded tail or the last of the Audi 100 type A6?

[Albert Ross]

Can we hammer a smaller socket over this thread please? It's broke again.

Bonnet stays. Who decides to put them where they are? I always manage to wrap myself around a few a week.

[scaryoldcortina]

^ +1 to both.

I find myself holding the bonnet with the wrong hand to work the stay (after I've figured out how it opens) several times a day.

[R9UKE]

1997- is that the first with the rounded tail or the last of the Audi 100 type A6?

 

It's the last of the 100 type. Proper Germanic brick. 2.6 V6. I have to say, the honk is the only thing that annoys me about the car. I thought it would be far too Germanic in every way for me to like, but it actually feels rather, em, French. Still, no room for it, so it must go!

 

http://www.gumtree.com/p/cars-vans-moto ... 0/88226120

[The Moog]

Another one is the winding in calipers on the Saab 900 <1988. Can you fidn anything to do it with? No you have to make a special tool ... lovely. No need to bother being normal.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

1997- is that the first with the rounded tail or the last of the Audi 100 type A6?

 

It's the last of the 100 type. Proper Germanic brick. 2.6 V6. I have to say, the honk is the only thing that annoys me about the car. I thought it would be far too Germanic in every way for me to like, but it actually feels rather, em, French. Still, no room for it, so it must go!

 

http://www.gumtree.com/p/cars-vans-moto ... 0/88226120

 

 

Aaah. As much as I respekt the 100 type, I always liked the later one and you can buy them for bugger all these days. There was a metallic dark blue 2.8 Quattro on Egay recently that made about 500 quid - beige leather and the wooden bits as well. Think it was an R plate with 200'000 miles. What could possibly go wrong?

 

 

Vectra D is pissing me off again. This fucking handbrake button is ridiculous - stand on the brake, dip the clutch, get out and do the Riverdance before pressing the button. Press it down good and hard and it normally goes off - but sometimes takes a few seconds. All I want to do is release the handbrake and drive, not wait for an ECU to make it's mind up. I just leave it in gear now and bollocks to it.

 

Progress eh?

[fiatdaft]

Just drive away with on,it will release its self.

[ashmicro]

I was going to say that. My S Type worked that way.

[Negative Creep]

^ +1 to both.

I find myself holding the bonnet with the wrong hand to work the stay (after I've figured out how it opens) several times a day.

 

 

Better than gus struts, which invariably lose pressure with age

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Just drive away with on,it will release its self.

 

 

Hmmm. I wondered about that......

 

 

I'm growing to like it more and more though, but I'm not sure I like it much more than the last of the top end Vectras (which were pretty good). I've still to work out how to alter the front to rear speaker balance. It has the 400 radio CD I think. Getting about 52 mpg overall with careful driving, not bad for such a heavy car.

 

I wouldn't buy one myself, but if I were given one as a company car I wouldn't moan. Well, no more than usual.

[Albert Ross]

I would refuse an Insignia if it was offered as a company car. I can't abide the darn things. From the reflective trim on the dashboard that distracts one's eyes in sunny weather, the pig awful ride and handling, the dreadful looks (Like a warthog with someone's finger up it's arse) As for the bloody range of colours. Black, grey, blue grey, silver, silver grey, white, a couple of reasonable reds, and the gorgeous Mahogany. (With cream leather of course).... Can't someone actually be bold and paint them nice colours? On the side of fixing them......Oil filters? Over a driveshaft and the subframe. So it leaks everywhere. Rear pads? You have to remove the whole carrier to fit them. They are just dreadful. I have Fords, but work at a Vauxhall dealer. Go figure.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

I quite like the styling of it - a smiley front grille, and from the rear 3/4 a hint of Jag XF. Colours? White looks good, as does the bright solid red. Mine is an insipid grey...........

 

The handling is great, really point and squirt but the ride is poor - the suspension is far too hard. Mine has the gloss black interior strips which I don't object to, but a bit of wood veneer would be nice to give a bit of a 'Singer Vogue for the 2000's" look to the interior. Very good seats, sharp brakes and nice clutch/gearchange.

 

Couldn't give a flying fuck about brake pads or oil filters - I won't be changing them.

[Albert Ross]

If yours has an oil change whilst in your custody, make certain the underside is oil free. Otherwise they leak oil for weeks, as it sits in the undertray and gently seeps out. It could ruin a good drive..... I know this, as one of our guys had to spend an afternoon cleaning one for no pay... his fault, we have a special drain tool, but he never used it. Yes, a special tool for changing the oil!

[fiatdaft]

Thats hardly unique to vx's though is it.

[RoadworkUK]

The one we have sitting at work in the p/x rack, the one where I naively discovered the Opel badge lurking in the grille behind the missing Vauxhall one, feels remarkably good for a Vectra replacement. Very much chasing Audi und zee Germans for interior touchy-feeliness, but it does all feel rather like it's desperate for acceptance.

 

For all its faults I can't help but think the Mondeo was born of a little more passion than the Insignia. But there's the whole meat / poison thing going on, of course.

[Rusty Pelican]

My old Audi 80s , both 86 vintage and the 51 plate Astra had a thing that screamed in your ear should you leave the lights on and open the door with the ignition off , I hated it with a vengeance ,

My 86 Beemer doesnt do this and so far ive left the lights on twice

Perhaps some twat proof stuff is actually needed