Flat Out Retro Driving (my day, with pics)

[scaryoldcortina]

Firstly, hello! I'm new! OK, so you all know me anyway, meh. Anyway, here's my first post which I've just C&Pd from retro rides cos I'm too tired to write another version of the same tale. Welcome to a day in my life

 

 

Roadtrip day today ;D I was expecting (last night) to be needed in Sheffield (somewhere..) for 0900, so I set the alarm for six..

0600 - what does the 0 stand for? OMG its early....

anyway, kettle on, wander upstairs, PC on, check messages... expecting a postcode for delivery location. Message says... they need it for 0730 Sheffield is 125 miles south (2hr20mins by car) so I skipped the cuppa and grabbed my keys...

Made the bus in seconds flat... swapped the cortina for this lovely transit. This is the vehicle required in sheffield, so all hands to the wheel and off we go...

half a mile later, fuel stop... I'm lucky that there is a garage that close to the yard, and also that I didn't have to push it onto the forecourt not the cheapest fuel around (121.9) but beats running out, especially when you are already running 1 1/2 hours behind. Which brings me to the next slight problem...

50 miles an hour babe, thats the speed I drive...

Lo comp 1.6 pinto (with a VV) is the smallest, least powerful engine ever fitted to the ford transit. Dormobile buses are the biggest bodied transits. This is what happens when you have both at once. It's going to be a looooong drive

6 miles later, Chester-le-street and the A1(M). Queues already and it isn't even 0700 yet.

Cleared up ok though, nice steady run, and for once the 50mph camera enforced safety zone that seems to be for the whole of north yorkshire at the moment didn't bother me.

Do not describe the motorway, as all motorways look alike.. 3 hours later coming up to wooley edge the fuel gauge is on zero again, so I swing into the services and stump up for more go-juice.

127.9!!!! still. cheaper than running out... it's 0915 and I've still got 35 miles to go..

Queue again to leave the motorway... gives me an opportunity to find the hastily googled-from-the-postcode directions sheet I printed out before leaving. Followed the directions, they ended here

The complete absence of any sort of film people (or any people) kinda made me suspicious. And I'd left the actual address behind : but I do have an eeePC ;D so I "found" some wifi access and headed for my RR inbox, one address. I'm at a T junction, the road I want is the one I'm joining from the side road, so, left or right? I guessed right, and about 1/4 mile later I saw

A little green chevette, and a 1980's wedding party crossing the road. (then I saw the policeman, and the cameras...) anyway, I've made it! and it's only 10.00 ;D Pulled in, no-one knows I'm coming, or where I'm supposed to be/go/do, but I spied a familiar looking transit and headed for that.

Gary Transit..fred's other half.. we sat around until 12.30 while film folk tried to find their asses with a torch (I think thats what they were doing..) I tried to get a cuppa and something to eat - both Gary and the director said it was ok to just use their unit catering van, it's what its for, but the guy running the van said I wasn't film crew and told me to fornicate away (or something like that) so I didn't.. and anyway it's time to set off on another mini adventure to get me a car to go home in (the transit is staying for a week or two)

I am a passenger .. I ride through the city's backside (I do apologise to anyone from sheffield for that but honestly...)

Ok, I'm collecting a car from a tarmac factory.. Gary talked to a man, who jumped on a bicycle and pedaled away.

We followed the cyclist round the back to a shed.. and in the shed was...

some sheds! The white mk3 escort is my ride home. 1.6 gheeeeeah "some" MoT and a taxdisk in the window (did I mention the transit wasn't taxed? no? well, no-one noticed) It started (with a jump) all the tyres are inflated and legal, I'm hungry.... time to go then ;D

It was quickly apparent that a/ the car doesn't tick over (and the battery is flat...) b/ I don't know where exactly the motorway is and c/ the indicators don't work.. I also have no clue how much fuel it has in, but I didn't die or conk out, found the motorway fine, and set off north.

Coming up to Wolley Edge again, the fuel light came on, so I stopped to refuel

I put another £15 in the car too (still 127.9 - not gone up since this morning then..) and carried on.

3,5,7,9 little white line... Motorway still looks like a motorway.

at least I'm keeping pace with everyone else this time ;D lack of tickover isn't a problem on a motorway! so, at around 1530 I'm nearly back home, and it conks out flat at this junction.

There is an ironic message on the lardy rover in front, lol.. thankfully, the battery is fine now and it fired straight up, so I dumped it in the yard

Did I mention the blagged quarterlight? it's rat-look, honest!

Me and my old cortina.. going home.

[Mr H Sceptre]

Great first post!Welcome to the site.The so-called 'Management'

[Mr Lobster]

Excellent! I do like reading about peoples road trips and that looks like an interesting day out Welcome along.

[dollywobbler]

Hi SOC. Thanks for the tale! More exciting than endless shots of bloody London on telly at the mo...

[Alexg]

 

I need one like that for my car -

 

FITTED WITH STOPPED/NEVER FUCKING STARTS TECHNOLOGY

[dollywobbler]

What about:FITTED WITH STOP/START TECHNOLOGY. IT'S CALLED A FUCKING KEY!

[Jon]

Hello Scaryoldcortina!I was filling in for the regular camera truck driver yesterday so was out on set too! Still, there's not much to this camera truck driving lark (at least at what they're paying me) and I couldn't really stray too far from it, so I doubt our paths crossed. Did see Gary and his Transit, along with the 'Yorkshire Rider' bus, which brought back memories! Should have said hello to him, but what to say?"Er...hello, I know your other half..er Fred? Well, we've not met but we chat to each other on the internet"!Cue Fist in face. And he's a big bloke!

[scaryoldcortina]

What about:FITTED WITH STOP/START TECHNOLOGY. IT'S CALLED A FUCKING KEY!

lol, thats what I was thinking, although I'd be happier if it didn't stop on it's own every time I press the clutch....Other random points... I was passed by a black BMW X5 (no pic.. I think she was chasing the starship enterprise..) with the number X500 BMW which just made me think Wow! How imaginative is that? what a good way to stand out from your peers, a numberplate that describes your car! Soon as SH17 BOX is available, I'm buying it. lmao...oops, forgot point 2... between filling up the transit used 7 gallons of petrol and travelled 110 miles. I'm pretty sure this is accurate, because that's twice in one day I limp into a station on vapours. My maths says 16mpg. From a 1600

[scaryoldcortina]

Hello Scaryoldcortina!

 

I was filling in for the regular camera truck driver yesterday so was out on set too! Still, there's not much to this camera truck driving lark (at least at what they're paying me) and I couldn't really stray too far from it, so I doubt our paths crossed. Did see Gary and his Transit, along with the 'Yorkshire Rider' bus, which brought back memories! Should have said hello to him, but what to say?

 

"Er...hello, I know your other half..er Fred? Well, we've not met but we chat to each other on the internet"!

 

Cue Fist in face. And he's a big bloke!

Nar, he's friendly It's Fred you have to watch *runs and hides*

 

I actually thought that 'bus was a service bus (and I'd just blocked it in to talk to the clipboard wielding teenager media studies graduate who didn't know where I should be.... they still run them round these parts

[Tayne]

.

[autofive]

Gary Transit..fred's other half.. .

I didn't realise that their surname was Transit.Its quite fortunate that the work in the field they do.

and yet Sherpa Tenzing didnt have a van strange reallySOC: looks like an epic trip, but what was the soundtrack?

[scaryoldcortina]

Nothing I was driving today has a stereo (not strictly true - both the transit and the escort have something in the dash, but nothing that works...) so the soundtrack was largely in my head. (there are some advantages to having tinnitus and an active imagination..) Much of it has made its way into my post, if anyone fancies guessing, lol

[mnde]

Great story, I'm jealous! Jealous particularly about the Escort. It's not going to happen, but I currently have a hankering for a 1.3 Escort of that vintage. I dream about my parents old ones often enough - mostly that one of them is still squirrelled away in the garage and I'm taking it on to do it up. I look forward to more stories with pics. My favourite kind of Autoshite post :)Mark.

[scaryoldcortina]

heh. this sort of shit happens to me a lot, and I have a camera you want, I post, lol

[seth]

Hello SOC!

[FredTransit]

I have only just seen this! Hello Scary, how's me escort? Got it ticking over yet? Any sign of a window? Found one on ebay for £14 posted. I was gonna ring you. Connie's done with, the gits cancelled the second day. That was the bus that was having the gearbox switch trouble, only it was under the dash somewhere.

[Minimad5]

Wow great post Welcome aboard (Sorry for the slow reply)

[Pete-M]

Um, 'ello.1.6 Lo Comp Transit? That has to be utterly dire. Well done.

[FredTransit]

To be fair, it's likely to be an HC car engine, no way would the LWB chassis cowl minibus be fitted with a 1.6. It's still reg'd as a 2L anyway :wink:BTW my surname's not transit

[scaryoldcortina]

Hi fred! Blanche the escort is doing fine. Tickover sorted, window replaced with finest perspex, indicators fixed (relay+1 bulb) and wobbly handling fixed too (tip: 45psi is about right for a transit tyre, its about 50% too much for an escort. Putting 15 psi in the other side doesn't make it right either) Also, dodgy ignition barrel fixed (sometimes it wouldn't turn or give the key back...) and strangeness noticed... there is a reg no etched on all the glass (and the lights, mirrors etc) but it isn't the one on the numberplates ???PS in my book a 162 stamp on a pinto block means it is a 1.6 lo-co. 165 is the car engine ;)PPS I'll ring you tomorrow about connie the hippy bus.

[FredTransit]

The reg on Blache's windows are easy to explain, she's a plate rape victim! I got her on her replacement plate, though I am sure the previous one was a B reg too, the previous owner bought it cos he thought it spelt 'Boston' (it doesn't) Anyway sorry about the tyres. Are the windows shaped? As in are they handed? Here she is in uniform.....

 

 

And Connie as the hippy bus, when she was in Law and Order.....

 

 

 

I didn't realise it was a 1.6 transit engine, they are usually only offered in the SWB.

[scaryoldcortina]

It's flat glass, not handed and easy to change the perspex is nicely inconspicuous for now (better than cardboard, lol). lnteresting about the 'plate change - I'd guessed it was probably that (after checking the vin and the chassis number, and HPI'ing it) but it didn't make sense cos both numbers are just B123ABC worthless rubbish.Also, even though it is a transit engine, that doesn't mean it is the right one... like you said, its a 2.0 on the logbook!

[autofive]

the escort is fine...............mainly because i havent driven it yet

[FredTransit]

the escort is fine...............mainly because i havent driven it yet

Ah I have heard about your luck lately, can we keep it that way?

[autofive]

the escort is fine...............mainly because i havent driven it yet

Ah I have heard about your luck lately, can we keep it that way?

certainlyim prepared to forego CVH power ps plagga window looks original, good as new, id be tempted to leave as is (child proof lock is on that door, so it cant be opened from the inside anyway)

[FredTransit]

But they are bronze windows, isn't the spex clear?

[scaryoldcortina]

That's just rubbing salt into the wound... cvh power! It's better than the transit, yeah, but it isn't a fireball by any means. Why exactly am I driving Fred's escort? Oh yeah... I REMEMBER! "someone" killed his car, and my spare car, so he's driving my car while we fix his spare car and I'm driving Fred's spare car instead. and yeah, that does mean I'd rather lend autofive the zetec mk2 tina than face fred when he kills her escort......

[autofive]

But they are bronze windows, isn't the spex clear?

clear-ishbut you only notice its clear from the inside, from the outside it looks the same as other (glass) windowsits properly fitted, half the door had to be taken apart to fit it

[scaryoldcortina]

But they are bronze windows, isn't the spex clear?

you can only tell looking out from inside. it's only a small window, so you don't notice the odd tint from outside.

[FredTransit]

Hmm, interesting, might get away with it on camera then. can you get a restraining order for a car?