Bodge of the decade

[Rusty Pelican]

Mate came over today for me to do the screaming spigot bush thats driving him nuts , its an engine out job but usually only three hours out and back in max on an Imp , sure enough the motors out in an hour clutch is off then it all went pear shaped Engine isnt an Imp one as such but a 930 from a Talbot Sunbeam, Basically its very simular to a standard Imp engine but the crank is completely different , Mod an Imp flywheel and some other bits and your off ( put a bit too simply really ) . First problem was we couldnt get the spigot bush out as normal so had to drill it out , this is when we noticed it wasnt a proper phosfer bronze one but a lump of brass some twat had bodged in it , no wonder it bloody squeeled New bush wouldnt fit in the hole left as its too bloody big , We need an adaptor or sorts then , something that the bush will fit into tight that can then be bashed into the larger hole in the crankshaft , No lathe or the like here unfortunatelySo what did we use The neck sawn of a 1 1/4 SU carb dashpot , drilled out the middle threaded bit , bashed the bush in , then bashed the lot into the crankNot sure of the longjevity mind but hes just driven home , minus the screaching

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Nice work! Fuck spigot bushes though.*puts clutch on**spots brass thing on workbench*

[pbottomley]

NOT ME mate of mine ;)His Pride and joy Viva GT:1) Engine out & split box and block, new clutch*2) Engine Back in, went to put clutch cable on, spot the clutch lever on workbench*BOLLOX :?3) Engine back out & split box and block, re-fit clutch arm*4) Engine Back in, start car, squealing as release bearing in backwardsBOLLOX again :(5) Engine back out yet again & split box and block, swap release bearing back around*Great rib digging down the pub for months laughing at him

[jonny69]

NOT ME mate of mine

Not me, my DAD :DBroke the gearbox at the drags and the car was AA'd home. Car sat in shame in garage for months. Dad dismantled the front of the car and took the engine and box out only to find the gearbox was fine, nothing wrong with it at all.Put a jack under the back and rotated the wheels and found the diff was smashed to pieces

[FredTransit]

Not me, but my Other Half! Half way across Europe to Italy, the alternator bracket gave up, leaving the fan belt slack and therefore no vac pump for the brakes! So he hammered a can of corned beef between the alternator and the block, and drove on, did the job and drove back. We still have the can in the 'Black Museum'

[meggersdog]

Hmm,not sure if this counts as a bodge (twatish more like).Some fella traded in a Megane at my mates forecourt.I then bought it from him with the temp guage not working.Looking round the engine after I got it home I notice the wires to the sender have been cut.Because the ECU is reading a cold engine the cold start is permenantly on so he cut the wires to this aswell.I reconnected all with wire joiners and started the engine.Yes the engine gets hot very quickly but also I can hear a squeak behind the cambelt cover.Turns out the waterpump impeller is spinning freely on it's shaft.40 minutes and 30 quid later the car was fixed and no adverse affects luckily.I sent this bodge story in an email to Peter Simpson who published it almost word for word in that month's Car Mechanics.Didn't even send me a free copy,the tight git.

[Rocket88]

The number of people who change the cambelt but not the waterpump [and vice versa] is unbelieveable. You can bet your house that if one is on the way out, the other will follow shortly.