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Cheap horrible Escort diseasel shite for sale. MOT/tax £125.


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Nasty 1996 Escrot 'Serenade' for sale, five door turdblow diseasel. MOT'd for two days, (18th September 2009), taxed until end of October 2009. Starts/runs/drives. Trying to think of something nice to say but really there ain't much: bodywork has dents/scratches/rust in a few areas, rear arches 'repaired' with gaffa tape etc-you know the kind of thing.Seems to start and run ok though and has been used daily and driven wherever it was needed to go.I have a failure sheet* for it which I'll post up on here if anyone's interested.£125 cash on collection only from near Chester, very close to M53/M56/A55/A41 etc and easy reach of M6.Sold strictly as it stands as in spares or repairs only and no warranty of any description is offered or implied and you take it away in a manner compliant with the law. Just in case you're some wheezy fucking smackhead who's sees it as GR8 4 COLECTING UR GEAR in.*Tyres, ball joints, welding and some other shit I think.

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You'd find it even more disturbing if I did post them Mark :lol: Right, in the ever increasingly unlikely chances anyone's interested in this heap of shit, here's the MOT failure list:Offside stop lamp not working.Nearside headlamp aim too low.Nearside front tyre tread depth below mimimum requirement.Offside front tyre tread depth below minimum requirement.Nearside CV joint gaiter split.Offside CV joint gaiter split.Nearside suspension arm has excessive play in ball joint.Offside front suspension arm has excessive play in ball joint.Offside seat belt anchorage prescribed area is excessivley corroded (o/s outer sill).Nearside seat belt anchorage prescribed area is excessivley corroded (n/s outer sill).Offside rear side suspension component mounting prescribed area is excessively corroded (o/s/r floor & offside chassis).Nearside rear shock absorber has negligible damping effect.Nearside front wheel bearing feels rough when rotated.Offside front wheelbearing feels rough when rotated.So all in all a few minutes work for someone who knows what they're doing :lol: The engine starts and runs well and sounds very healthy though. Whether that's enough to save it from the Fragman remains to be seen!

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How difficult is it to get the whole car in frame? Selling it on eBay are you? :wink:

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How difficult is it to get the whole car in frame? Selling it on eBay are you? :wink:

It'd have been easier/better if a) I was desperately concerned to sell it and B) I wasn't in a rush to get to go out when I took the pictures en-route :wink:

 

I described it as shit and it is shit :lol: I have other pictures but Photobucket has gone all wank on me so have to upload one at a time.

I wasn't too concerned about taking shit loads of pictures of a hundred and twenty five quid scrapper to be perfectly honest as I wouldn't even bother selling it to someone who wanted a close up of the o/s/r tyre valve or whatever :lol:

Just in case anyone is concerned about the absolute shitness of this car here are some more rushed pictures of the old nail...

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Rotten arches aside, that old nail still looks presentable. It says a lot about modern rustproofing that it's not got a five o clock rust shadow along the bonnet edge, or door bottoms that look like it's been living in floodwater.

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Surprisngly enough the arches don't seem to have failed the MOT, maybe the gaffer tape is an acceptable bodge these days? :lol: I can't pretend it's nice to drive because it's bloody horrible due the aforementioned MOT fails.Anyhow I'll probably take the stereo out for my van, have the Poundland style wheel trims off and try and swipe the remaining fuel before it gets launched onto a hiab wagon as I need the garage space for a Micra.Frying pans and fires and all that old bollocks!

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Standard radio? I like 80s/90s Ford head units. They're so neat. A while ago, I bought a brand new, unused (NOS) Sound 2007 (?) with the amplifier and CD player. Broke my heart to let it go with my last car - I'd bodged the wiring to such an extent I didn't fancy extracting it.

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Aye, double DIN indeed it is.

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Is this a 75 or 89 bhp one?And is this 'useful' for Futuramics' diesel Ginetta plans???

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Erm, I wouldn't have a clue about the bhp sorry. Is there a way of telling by the log book or staring at the engine for ages prtending I know what I'm looking for? :D

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I love the diagonal split of the wheel trims. There are two of each so there could be one kind on each side and nobody would know they didn't match.

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I haven't got as far as opening the bonnet yet! It seemed to pull better than the last Escort dizzler I drove so might be a 90BHP one but in all honesty until I check I have no idea. Might go and have a look in a minute if the neighbours aren't looking.

 

EDIT: GR8 4 FRAGGING indeed. This may be happening tomorrow if I can be arsed taking the battery and some other shit off, then filling the boot with some fucked old tyres.

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Not like the one pictured above. Mine says' Endura DE' (or something like that) and behind that it says 'turbo'.So it's probably the wank spec'd one.

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Cheers. Hopefully these engines weigh even less than the 90PS versions so when Captain Hiab and his lucky clothes peg selling wife come to collect it they won't get as much as they thought when they weigh it in.

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I love the diagonal split of the wheel trims. There are two of each so there could be one kind on each side and nobody would know they didn't match.

Heh, I hadn't noticed the wheeltrims. You could put that matching trims on the same side, but it's much funnier to keep it with five studs on the offside rear and nearside front, and four studs on the other two.
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Get in there! Scrap man en-route. Stereo, battery, nearly new tyres, wheel trims and five pence piece all liberated :lol:

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I am loving the GEY number plate! :lol:

Ive got BEY on one of my motors , tis an Anglesea plate.

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