Vorsprung Durch Ticket (MOT) - Ohdearme’s turn of the century emporium

[Ohdearme]

Ive read online that there are 2 types;

 

http://www.stallard-engineering.co.uk/stories/Jaguar/XJ8%20Remote%20key%20fob.htm

 

"One of the Jaguar Enthusiasts Club bulletin board members came to the rescue with an old fob of the correct type - early ones have the prefix LJA, whilst later cars use the LJE version."

 

Might be that I bought the wrong one last time.

Let’s see how they do...they were a tenner each and genuine jag ones are £80 on the bay so it will be interesting to see if they’re any good as a remote or whether they just start recording my conversations for our new Chinese overlords.

[Guest Hooli]

I know XJ40s had two different fobs that worked on different wavelengths. No idea if X300s had the same changes in their lifetime.

[Ohdearme]

Postman arrived with goodie bag today,

 

Obvious problem given I ordered two fobs unless one is made from that new element called ‘Emperorsnewclothes-ium’

 

 

Reassuringly inexpensive construction

 

 

...and it’s now go jag to make look a right dodgy geezer on eBay as it didn’t work but as soon as I’d signed for it, I mailed the seller to report one missing but I’m now going to have to start a return.

 

A suspicious vendor may think I’ve pretended to only get one and started a return to keep one.

 

I wish I was quite so devious but alas whichever poor Chinese fellow inhaled heavy metals and pcb dust in the factory making this did so in vain, it did nuffink.

 

Which left me faffing with the original keys again. I got a glimmer of red light acknowledgment in car from each fob but it was hit and miss and the button travel/contact seemed poor.

 

I solved this with an advanced cellulose based contact improver* and managed to get one fob working completely - lock/unlock/boot/lights!

 

The other will do lights if you work it about a bit for long enough but for lock/unlock I think the contacts are done in.

 

Anyhoo - It now works so all is good!

 

 

* May have been half of a folded up pay and display ticket to give the pcb a bit more resistance to flex when the button is pressed.

[Ohdearme]

Jaguar, so wafty even our radio waves take an age to arrive.

 

https://youtu.be/lFnPTOiaPeY

[Guest Hooli]

You can't rush things in a Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag. I like how when you hit demist it takes about 2secs to arrange all the flaps before the fan speeds up.

[Ohdearme]

Congratulations on the XJR btw...one of my bucket list cars.

[Guest Hooli]

Congratulations on the XJR btw...one of my bucket list cars.

 

Cheers, one of mine too. I think it'll be staying a while.

[Ohdearme]

Took Mrs ODM to the hospital this morning and dropped her off without really realising I was in a land barge.

 

 

Decided to give a three* point turn a try and discovered those crafty jag designers had thought of this exact scenario.

 

But what if they need to turn around and there’s a railing?

 

Preposterously long low nose will sort it boss...The Jag nose is so low even though I borrowed a bit of pavement to help the turn, the nose slotted neatly beneath the railing so only a nine point turn ensued.

 

 

Jag giving me full ownership experience as drive home was interspersed with on/off tail lamp failure message.

 

Finding it a lazily brisk barge, biggest issue is the footwell, it feels like you’ve put both feet in the same sock, it’s that tight in there.

[mrbenn]

Took Mrs ODM to the hospital this morning and dropped her off without really realising I was in a land barge.

 

Nothing serious, I hope.

[Ohdearme]

Nothing serious, I hope.

Thankfully not, just some routine-ish checkup stuff.

[purplebargeken]

You're just used to the large, airy expanse of Galaxy, that's all.

[Guest Hooli]

Indeed, Jaaaaaaaaags are the correct size for a car.

[Timewaster]

Just for future info, those battery numbers refer to the diameter and the thickness.

 

A 2032 would be 20mm diameter and 3.2mm thick.

A 2016 is 1.6mm thick

 

And so on...

[Ohdearme]

Just for future info, those battery numbers refer to the diameter and the thickness.

 

A 2032 would be 20mm diameter and 3.2mm thick.

A 2016 is 1.6mm thick

 

And so on...

Indeed...weirdly in some bizzaro branding idea, Duracell confusingly brad their CRs as DL2032, DL2016, etc.

[Ohdearme]

Galaxy pressed into service today for a round trip up to Darlington so some hurried prep activity ensued this morning.

 

Not wanting to be deafened on the way there, I hurriedly popped back in the bulkhead I’d been meaning to do for ages and realised it is actually essential to keep rain off the suspension top mounts or they pool water and rust.

 

So that means I’ve feckerised my turrets by not putting the bulkhead back for about three weeks. Cock.

 

Fuse also popped in the heater and as I didn’t have a 20A spare, I gambled in 15A and only setting 3 on the fan...that worked so far. Do need to understand why it went pop again before though.

 

In Darlington, collected large amount of plants/trees from relative and after some chopping got them all in.

 

Sadly on removal one of the bastard tree things has gashed the headliner.

 

Funny how a torn headliner instantly lowers the tone of a car, much thinking needed on plan to resolve.

 

[purplebargeken]

Nnnnnnnnnng, nooooooooo.

[Ohdearme]

Nnnnnnnnnng, nooooooooo.

I’m trying not to think about it...had a shopping list of little bits to get it a bit mintier after I’ve finished the builders jobs in it and then this happens...

 

Complete headliners are rare but I can get some headliner material and redo the rear section.

 

I’ll probably leave it for now and buy a mechanically shagged donor in a few months and strip it out.

[mrbenn]

Silver tape, Shirley.

[purplebargeken]

I have a slightly obsessive 'thing' about headlining, this made me shudder to the core. The spares car sounds like a cunning plan however.

[Ohdearme]

I have a slightly obsessive 'thing' about headlining, this made me shudder to the core. The spares car sounds like a cunning plan however.

At least it’s on a car like this where access through the boot should make it less of a pain to install/remove.

[Ohdearme]

Gave it a good long run today, working down south and took a detour over the m62 to drop an ODB reader off for Bangernomics and drove away with an unexpected gift of two slightly rusty but new discs for a Mondy/X Type.

 

Not exactly sure if they’ll fit the Galaxy but beggars/choosers, etc so we’ll get a wheel off and have a nosey.

 

Such a relaxing old bus to pointless along motorways in, a little boomy at 70 and although there’s no cruise, the seating position is such that its possible to drive the throttle comfortably with your left foot* to give the right leg a stretch/rest.

 

On the subject of feet, a plan is most definitely afoot to resolve the headliner...

 

 

*Yes, I’m a Kak-hander/Kak-legged/lefty, etc.

[bangernomics]

Very nice to meet you too, good to get those discs gone too.

[Ohdearme]

This is not good, for no apparent reason I attempted to lock the door from the broken drivers side.

 

 

This has happened but more worryingly this has happened too. Windows down and buttons as intent on working as a BL factory bid circa the 70’s

 

 

And the window buttons aren’t working.

 

Disassembling a door card and lock barrel on a 20 year old MPV in a freezing Tesco’s car park 91 miles from home...I would tentatively suggest that’s Autoshite.

[Guest Hooli]

Oh that's looking good*

 

Where are ya incase anyone local can turn up to watch and laugh bring a thermos of hot soup.

[Ohdearme]

Lock has stuck in ‘let down windows’ position.

 

Fks sake

 

[Ohdearme]

Worcester Tesco’s...

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Ohdearme]

Resolved*

 

Managed to get my frozen fingers inside the door skin and pull the central locking plug.

 

Windows up, doors lock for about three seconds then unlock as circuit fails.

 

I wonder how long I can fondle a rotisserie chicken in the shop before they realise I’m using it as a hand warmer.

[Guest Hooli]

I wonder how long I can fondle a rotisserie chicken in the shop before they realise I’m using it as a hand warmer.

 

Fondling a hot bird is traditional* on a business trip isn't it?

[Supernaut]

Have you invented a new insult, you chicken-fondler?

[Guest Hooli]

Have you invented a new insult, you chicken-fondler?

 

You fowl abuser.