Vorsprung Durch Ticket (MOT) - Ohdearme’s turn of the century emporium

[Ohdearme]

No idea why people drive when we have such a robust* rail infrastructure

 

[HillmanImp]

[Ohdearme]

Nothing tells you you’re in a particular vintage of Jag better than the gentle caress of a drooping headlining as it tickles the top of your head...

 

I also never knew/noticed these Jags had only one teeny, tiny wiper!

 

Much obliged to hillmanimp for the loan of the Jag, will wash before presentment to the wife, sure she’ll fall in love!

 

 

[Guest Hooli]

Aww it's an ickle baby one, feed it right and it might grow the missing 800cc

[mrbenn]

If Ohdearme hasn't posted on the forum by close of play today I think a delegate from the West Yorkshire branch of Autoshite should go to his house and check the garden for recently disturbed earth

[Mally]

She will just put him in the boot.

[Ohdearme]

“It’s phooking massive”

 

So not total disapproval

 

This may require glossing over though...although 4 miles of queuing traffic perhaps not its natural home.

 

[Guest Hooli]

Mine's currently showing 17.1mpg due to a 9.5 mile commute.

[HillmanImp]

I used to get around 22 when I used to drive it on a 28 mile round trip to work every day. I used to give it some beans too. I stopped looking at the MPG after a bit though as I preferred not knowing.

 

“It’s phooking massive”

 

My Mrs said the same thing when I turned up in my first Jag. However, you'll lose it in car parks as it's so low compared to all the modern cars but you will see it sticking out a bit.

[Ohdearme]

Nothing of note on the Jag, footman james don’t consider it a ‘classic’ so I’m poking about to find an insurer that will.

 

I also love the fact that in the current wiring/circuit arrangement both rear windows go dup an with just the right rear window switch

 

The Galaxy clearly felt left out in the electrickery department and has dericed that any attempt to lock the car with the key from the driver’s side can FRO so locking involves a walk round to the passenger side.

 

The lock was always a bit iffy so some door card removing investigation is now inevitable.

[HillmanImp]

I also love the fact that in the current wiring/circuit arrangement both rear windows go dup an with just the right rear window switch

 

Yeah, that happened after I repaired the handbrake.

 

They worked fine in the morning, I mended the handbrake and then both windows suddenly decided to wind down at the same time.

 

Obviously must be that bit of handbrake/rear window wiring that they have in common....

[gadgetgricey]

Nothing of note on the Jag, footman james don’t consider it a ‘classic’ so I’m poking about to find an insurer that will.

 

 

Give https://www.bishopcalway.co.uk/ a try

 

Should be able to sort you out, and you are a jag forum member,

[Guest Hooli]

Yeah, that happened after I repaired the handbrake.

 

They worked fine in the morning, I mended the handbrake and then both windows suddenly decided to wind down at the same time.

 

Obviously must be that bit of handbrake/rear window wiring that they have in common....

 

Earth probably.

 

Give https://www.bishopcalway.co.uk/ a try

 

Should be able to sort you out, and you are a jag forum member,

 

I couldn't find anyone who did them as a classic without another car & ended up with Hastings.

[gadgetgricey]

Don't know if I just fell lucky but have my x350 insured with them on a classic, so hope they should be able to cover an x308.

[purplebargeken]

FJ used to insure any Jag that I had under their classic umbrella as long as you wuz a member of the JEC.

 

Might be worth looking at.

[Ohdearme]

Got it insured for the moment but at £289 for a 40 year old codger like me at 3,000 miles, I’ll be using the cool off period to shop around a bit more.

[Ohdearme]

Also, good timing having the Jag as the Galaxy did a right old cough/splutter oil pressure light conk out when moving it this morning.

 

It’s fine* again now.

[Ohdearme]

Managed to get a gap on Xmas eve to get the local hand car wash to give the Jag a scrub up.

 

Looks rather dandy, plus starting the engine to creep forward elicited an ooh and a smile from the lads at the unexpected v8 noise.

 

 

Also, spotted another clever bit of design by Jag...

 

...oh.

 

I also imagine the Werthers are factory fit original.

 

I was also outshone on the forecourt by a rather minty looking Rover Tomcat.

[Guest Hooli]

On mine there is a small pin in the bottom of the petrol cap that fits into the locking pin hole on the flap.

[HillmanImp]

Those Werthers were in the car when I got it. Not sure if they were JohnKs or someone elses. I probably wouldn't recommend eating them. I'm not sure what the best before date is on Werthers but I'd guess they're past it.

 

Cars looking good. Its does scrub up quite nicely.

[Ohdearme]

It does, I might see about pinning up the headliner a little and if the weather holds, pop the wheels off and sort the brakes.

 

Spent a few hours this afternoon chopping and splitting three months of firewood so figure I’m owed a bit of playtime.

[Ohdearme]

It would seem my left arm is apparently able to generate the kind of torque usually reserved for Norse gods.

 

I have no idea how but I’ve got two cars with their door locks on the fritz.

 

The Galaxy was always stiff but having fixed it previously with a squirt of WD40, something eminently more significant has occurred.

 

Turning the barrel left or right now makes no material difference to the locked or unlocked state of the car.

 

Weirdly it will still trigger the windows to open if held.

 

Imps Jag doesn’t work off the fob and I’ve had to use the key since collection.

 

Seemingly in cahoots with the Ford, the Jag is now intermittently doing nothing in the unlocking department when the key is turned.

 

I need to figure out if there’s a knack to it before I go any distance again as it’s done it a couple of times and whilst ftp at home isn’t a problem, ftp at work when my tea is going cold at home would be

 

Also, the Galaxy is in need of some more time on her, the exhaust is blowing somewhere and the suspension top mounts are pooling water (great design) so are going very orange indeed at present.

 

Seems sensible to have the suspension refreshed whilst someone can still unbolt the things not to mention the abuse it’s had hauling about 2,000 bricks down the street for me and god knows how many other jobs over Xmas.

 

Also, the hiss in the cabin is getting worse so I suspect my brake vacuum is going to fail soon with hilarious* consequences so it’s being booked in for attention very shortly in the new year.

 

Just passed over the 2,000 miles mark in my ownership and aside from the long runs in Scotland flattering the mpg, it’s holding at about 25mpg a tank and 31mpg overall.

[purplebargeken]

She deserves a little bit of a birthday does the Galaxy

[Ohdearme]

Got myself a five minute poke about in the Jag to see if I could reprogramme the fobs.

 

The need for this was reinforced by the fact the five minute poke about in the car was only achieved after a ten minute poke about trying to get the lock to work.

 

The fob programming is actually a doddle involving a series of tugs on the lights and waggling the key like some kind of ‘cheat code’ for my old PlayStation.

 

You need to watch for the light on the gearbox to flash up in case the alarm speaker is dead/disconnected (it is) and then you can just press the buttons on the fobs to pair them. All pretty simple.

 

But it didn’t work.

 

I know the ‘cheat mode’ was active so I suspected a fob issue and sure enough, cracking one open revealed this!

 

 

Aha! Where there ought to be a shiny CR2032, there lay a brace of DL2016 and as any fool knows* stacking two lesser 3V batteries creates 6V so this is probably why there is a problem.

 

I thought it wise to check they had juice in them anyway and placed the stacked batteries twixt my lips and waited for a tingle. (Come on, who hasn’t ever licked a 9V battery?).

 

They zazzed my lips as expected but also caused a slight wobble of vision as the contact was made.

 

I wasn’t sure if I’d imagined the vision thing but after three goes, just to be certain, it was definitely screwing with my eyes and I decided to stop.

 

I used up all my CR2032s replacing batteries in roffled off cars and as I’m sat in my jammies and dressing gown I’m not going to go to Asda to get some, that is a job for tomorrow, unless I wake up in A&E with a bloody heart arrhythmia.

 

*I thought I remembered this from school but overwhelming self doubt required a google for the internet to confirm I was indeed correct.

[Ohdearme]

Took the Jag today due to me accusing the builder of losing my Galaxy keys after moving it to get more building stuff delivered. (Keys turned up at work in my briefcase but we’ll gloss over that).

 

Determined to sort the remotes out I called in at the local Tesco’s on the way home to grab some CR2032 action and then scampered back to the car, which had by now steamed up a bit. It turns out the rear window demister doesn’t work.

 

Ignoring the fog, I proceeded to attempt to code the keys (required much flashing of lights). First remote failed to work so I tried the second fob and the procedure again, looking for all the world like councillor Dog McDogger, Chairman of the East Leeds Dogging Club..

 

Second attempt showed the red light to suggest it had worked but it transpired the only button on the fob that still works is the lock button so then had to open the door to unlock the car as the dash button didn’t work either.

 

Just in case all the flashing of lights in a darkened corner of the car park didn’t attract enough attention, opening the door caused the alarm, horn and disco lights to go off whilst I fumbled for the ignition to silence the twatting thing.

 

I’m genuinely amazed nobody came to tap on the window with their todger or whatever it is those doggerfolk get up to.

 

Anxious to avoid a repeat, I’ve found a replacement fob for a tenner on the bay so I’ve ordered a couple to see if I can get them to work.

[Ohdearme]

Also popped out to the Galaxy as I forgot I’d had this filter for the breather delivered.

 

 

Easy job WCPG?

 

 

Well bugger me, I’m a crack handed arsehole. Cold temperatures and 20 year old brittle plastic mean I’ve only gone and snapped the securing lugs off the air intake. It’s a snug fit so should probably hold until I sort out a suitably elegant* solution for it.

[HillmanImp]

It's definitely 2 CR2016 batteries it needs. Where did you get the 32 idea from? Suppose it'll work if it makes contact as it'll probably be a bit thinner and rattle around in there.

 

Thats a new key fob IIRC as I had the same problem. Think I mentioned that I had trouble with the old one too. I gave you a couple of fobs though? Have you tried both?

[purplebargeken]

Face palm for Galaxy fumblings!!!!!!! Doh!

[Ohdearme]

It's definitely 2 CR2016 batteries it needs. Where did you get the 32 idea from? Suppose it'll work if it makes contact as it'll probably be a bit thinner and rattle around in there.

 

Thats a new key fob IIRC as I had the same problem. Think I mentioned that I had trouble with the old one too. I gave you a couple of fobs though? Have you tried both?

Yes tried both, one didnt seem to work at all and the other only some buttons working but it only worked with a Cr2032 in?

 

I’ll try the new fobs and if they work, bonus, if not they’ll be eBay returned. I just don’t want to be caught short if the lock stops working and be explaining to you why the AA have koshed a window

 

Once again, thanks for the loan!

[HillmanImp]

Ive read online that there are 2 types;

 

http://www.stallard-engineering.co.uk/stories/Jaguar/XJ8%20Remote%20key%20fob.htm

 

"One of the Jaguar Enthusiasts Club bulletin board members came to the rescue with an old fob of the correct type - early ones have the prefix LJA, whilst later cars use the LJE version."

 

Might be that I bought the wrong one last time.