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Mighty AX ROFFLING at £11 a go. Pull your socks up in preparation for the Big Wheel Trim Reveal this week!! (or maybe next week)


Tomtation

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Anyway, it’s all beside the point. This roffle needs to be postponed until the 22nd. KTHXBAI

 

Well, roffles being roffles and people being people (especially roffles where a ticket costs more than a bag of moderately poncey crisps), I think it's fair to predict that this one will stretch out for a week or two more, gathering a few more rofflees here and there, before there's a critical mass of tickets allocated and suddenly it all gets a bit exciting regarding the last few numbers...

 

post-17915-0-20834900-1536755375_thumb.png

 

I believe eminent mathematicians refer to this as The Roffleslide Effect when conducting statistical analyses, expressed as:

 

R = (t x a)  x (n x y)

            d

where:

  • is the number of tickets left, 
  • a is the perceived Autoshite desirability rating of the vehicle in question, on a scale of 0 (PT Cruiser) to 100 (Rancho towing a Tagora filled with back-issues of Jalopy magazine and square sausage);
  • d is the distance of the vehicle from Leicester town hall, in miles;
  • n is the face value of the ticket, and
  • y is the perceived number of days before the draw is likely to take place,

 

Once the R-value falls to below 1000, a Roffleslide may well occur.

 

The current R-value of this roffle is rated at 2514.82 (to two decimal places), assuming an Autoshite Desirability Rating (ADR) of 60, and a leisurely fortnight before drawing, so ticket sales will accordingly be slow at this point. 

 

Conversely, the R-value of the recent Mazda 323p roffle was 827 at its inception, hence it selling out very quickly.

 

By my calculations*, once this roffle passes 44 tickets sales on either a Tuesday or a Saturday evening, then a Roffleslide is likely to occur.

 

So if you do fancy your luck with a ticket or two (and I must say, sir, an AX would match your Xantia very nicely, very nicely indeed) I'd hazard that the call for payment and the draw itself are likely to be after the 22nd, rather than before... so it's all much of a muchness, and I can certainly pencil your name in against a ticket of choice if you want to tip me the wink...

 

 

* Please note: I am not a mathematician and this is all utter bollocks, I was thrown into the lower-stream maths class at GCSE because apparently I was that useless. But if anyone wants to develop this into a workable formula, be my guest.

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Well kids, ready for some more AX-related trivia?

 

Heuliez proposed this rather snazzy AX Évasion concept back in 1988...

 

post-17915-0-46231100-1536836853_thumb.jpg

 

Several of which were built and appear to have survived.

 

post-17915-0-22257600-1536836288_thumb.jpg

 

post-17915-0-62187000-1536836301_thumb.jpg

 

post-17915-0-84423100-1536836834_thumb.jpg

 

Can anyone else see a hint of ZX estate in this one?

 

Seemingly Citroen decided to pass on it, while Heuliez declined to develop it further, leaving it as an intriguingly early harbinger of the later Citroen Berlingo/ Renault Kangoo/ Toyota Yaris Verso mini-people-carrier sector.

 

I'd drive one.

 

Not quite as show stopping as some of Tissier's Citroen coachbuilds, mind...

 

post-17915-0-82813600-1536836961_thumb.jpg

 

But probably more aesthetically pleasing than Citroen's putative Espace competitor, the somewhat gawky BX Monospace.

 

post-17915-0-68083500-1536837031_thumb.jpg

 

Ah, the chod that might have been...

 

 

So, anyone else for a ticket or two on this one? If you're not in, ya can't win...

 

post-17915-0-40368300-1536837485_thumb.jpg

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I’m up for a couple of tickets, but payday is the 21st. So....um....if that works....

 

Yaaay! I'd reckon we can get that to work okay - 'tis only a week away.

 

I'd be mega-surprised if all tickets were to go and the payment call went out before then, especially since Tomtation's still away sunning himself in the AX's homeland and I'm allegedly running this Donald Duck operation.

 

Have you a set of preferred lucky numbers, or shall I random you up?

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No bother... just for you, dude!

1.
2.
3.
4. Andy F
5.
6.
7. sickboy
8.
9. retropnaed
10. binhoker668
11.
12.
13. Alanism
14.
15.
16.
17. Datsuncog
18.
19.
20. prepace
21. yes ou si
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.
28.
29.
30.
31.
32.
33.
34.
35.
36. Andy F
37.
38. binhoker668
39.
40.
41.
42.
43.
44.
45. Alanism
46.
47. retropnaed
48.
49.
50.
51. yes ou si
52.
53.
54. pandamonium
55.
56.
57. prepace
58.
59.

 

Fifteen down, 44 to go!

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Friday's AX of the day:

 

post-17915-0-11073900-1536931244_thumb.jpg

 

That's right, it's Citroen's little-known challenger to the all-slaying beast that was the Fiat Panda 4x4 in the highly competitive vignoble market - the Citroen AX 4x4, with off-road capabilities supplied by notable gallic OLLI-fiddlers, Dangel.

 

post-17915-0-42650300-1536932808_thumb.jpg

 

Only produced for a scant two years ('92-'94) and never sold outside mainland Europe, the little Cit came fitted with the TU3 motor adapted with a transfer box running out the back of the gearbox.

 

Fairly agricultural in temperament, reports suggest that the AX 4x4 was somewhat fragile in daily use down on la ferme, and tended to revert to 4x2 or 4x0 status with alarming regularity, when anything above 50lbs/ft was demanded of it.

 

Surviving examples apparently became sought after in Europe as a cheap motorsport car, with a claimed 300bhp available on tap when fully fettled.

 

As a WBOD, one of these would surely have no equal... and they are out there.

 

https://www.reezocar.be/fr/search/citroen-ax+4x4.html

 

 

This daily update on the Joy of AX was brought to you by Datsuncog Trivia Ltd, a wholly independent subsidiary of Tomtation Roffle Enterprises Inc.

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MOAR fascinating* AX phacts for you all...

 

You may recall in a previous post, my cursory lunchtime Google browsing extensive and exhaustive research had uncovered the popularity of the AX 4x4 as a cheap-thrills motorsport chariot for continentals?

 

Well, it seems that you don't necessarily need AWD to be a total slayer in an AX.

 

I was unaware that the AX, in 2wd Sport and GTi guises, pretty much owned its class in the sub-1400cc FIA European Rallycross Championship category, taking a stonking seven Championship titles between 1993 and 2001. Only the Peugeot 205 (and later 106) Rallye could come near it.

 

post-17915-0-15788800-1537194066_thumb.png

 

Left hooker only, and running the TU24 motor with twin Solex carbs (as apparently Webers were too tall for the engine bay), the Sport was the no-frills, stripped down version of the GTi but with a unique head and gearbox ratios, giving the tweaked 1.3 motor a fairly credible 0-60 time of 8.8 seconds - the same as the fabled 1.6 version of the 205 GTi. Not bad going.

 

post-17915-0-76496600-1537194380_thumb.jpg

 

So there we go. Proof positive that these cars are all about WIN.

 

I am going to convince you 'orrible lot that you NEED an AX in your life.

 

And therefore your best and cheapest way of gaining access to the non-stop merry-go-round of thrills and laughter that is mini-Cit ownership, is through the simple expediency of buying a handful of roffletickets for this 'ere transport of delight. Just tip me the wink, ladies and gentlemen, and I can make the magic happen.

 

post-17915-0-85197100-1537198485_thumb.jpg

 

Because you know what inevitably happens - suddenly one day all the good ones are whiteroomed for OMG MEGABUCKZ, the way Novas and Fiestas went overnight, while the bad ones are still inexplicably ££££ for a bundle of total scrap. And that's that.

 

Be in for the win while these little gallic go-karts are still to be found in the Roffle section - rather than divided between the 'Ebay Bargains* ' and 'Fuck me, just scrap it' threads.

 

You know it makes sense.

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Hello ladies and gentlemens, I am now back from my adventures in the land of cheese and wine.

 

The first two days was a bit like

post-26165-0-45063800-1537259580_thumb.jpg

 

The following were a bit more like

post-26165-0-64280700-1537261515_thumb.jpg

 

We Stayed over in Orleans to break the driving slog south, had a really nice meal out with more wine than is sensible for a 6 hour drive the following day, did I mention I like wine? Anyway we passed a noisy and rammed bar on the way back to the hotel with feather boas everywhere and waiters dressed as the actual fucking village people (as in YMCA song), naturally I made a beeline for such an establishment. The main waiter was a man in a dress = win, he was very charismatic :). We managed to persuade our friend Patrick to pose with said dressed man, just because. We almost absconded with the hat too but failed at the last minute, which was a shame as it was a nice hat.

 

post-26165-0-40968400-1537259903_thumb.jpg

 

There was depressingly small amounts of cheese and wine consumed this time as we were on a 'walking holiday'. We started our epic journey along the most famous route that no-one has ever heard of - Le GR3 (Grand Randonée number 3), this fabled route traces the river Loire, starts a decent way south (between Marseille and Lyon) and ends up finishing around Nantes on the west coast. We chose the 3 because when we get futher north and west there are vineyards all over the place = awesome.

 

post-26165-0-41052700-1537258481_thumb.jpg

 

We started off in a beatiful volcanic national park region, which unfortunately had a fuckton of river valleys (not quite sea level, but almost) strewn throughout a plateau some 1000-1600 meters above sea level = many hills to climb. I mentioned it traced the loire - we almost never saw it! Started at Mt Jerbier de Jonc (where there are 3 different sources of the river Loire) and finished up in Retournac, which was about 130k along the GR3 with 4.5 days of walking, as it was a reccy walk and it was cunting hot (so the pace was doggedly slow at times) I think that's acceptable for our initial reccy.

 

There was some of this.

post-26165-0-16782900-1537260141_thumb.jpg

 

There was unfortunately none of this

post-26165-0-41094000-1537260420_thumb.jpg

 

Because of the ruralness of the location I never had any signal or data etc, and we were camping too so my phone died in day 3 and I just left it in my bag. This means no chodtastic pictures i'm afriad, which I was less concerned about as we hardly saw any chod! A brief summary of what I saw:

 

-A few manky Renault 5's that ALL ran terribly (like blue smoke, missfire/stall etc)

-A peugeot 309 that stalled at every junction we followed it to

-Many, mostly tidy MK1 clio's

-Really lots of MK1 Laguna's too, in all states of condition

-MK1 Twingo's everywhere in the towns/cities (but almost none rurally) and most noatble one on the peagé that overtook us when we were doing 90mph!

-An ironically tidy opel Zafira with a numberplate ending WOB (tried and failed to photo this - was very awesome!)

-ONLY saw 3 BX's! Which I was mucho dissappointed anout as I am a proper BX licker...

-Quite a rew AX's, most of which were totally fucked, and parked extremley* well* in the various towns/cities we passed through.

 

Right now onto the actual point of this thread - getting them roffle tickets sold! I've caught up and read through the thread and all I can say is how amazingly impressed I am with the efforts of Sir Datsuncog (for this is how he should be addressed in reflection of rofflage efforts!). In honour of all the most wonderful, impactful and insightful information supplied to ensure we are all as enlighteneed as possible going into the roffle, I think the remaining tickets should be bought. Trés logique, non?

 

Of course if anyone wants to buy it outright - that is also fine.

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AX TRIVIA OF THE DAY:

 

 

post-17915-0-36937900-1537364845_thumb.png

 

... that the S9 Project that became the Citroen AX was conceived as a direct replacement for the Talbot Samba? 

 

That's right folks, the l'il AX was originally intended to wear Talbot badges.

 

post-17915-0-55714800-1537365106_thumb.jpg

 

post-17915-0-23221600-1537365568_thumb.jpg

 

Instigated in 1983, with the design brief requiring a car to replace both the shared-platform Samba and Citroen LNA (as a 3-dr) as well as the larger Visa (in 5-dr format), the S9 was intended to appear in both Talbot and Citroen showrooms. However, PSA supremos decided by 1985 that the Talbot marque should be discontinued for passenger cars, and so development continued with only the Citroen marque front end treatment.

 

So the Talbot 'AX' was canned - along with last-minute changes to the C28 Project, the Talbot Horizon's replacement which was already beginning the tooling-up process at the Ryton plant under the name 'Arizona'.

 

post-17915-0-14265300-1537366251_thumb.jpg

 

post-17915-0-42309900-1537366266_thumb.jpg

 

The Arizona appeared on sale in early 1986 as the Horizon's replacement, but now wearing Peugeot 309 badges - supposedly to the annoyance of PSA's Ryton plant staff and management, who felt that Talbot was the 'British' arm of PSA, and others who saw this as a further nail in the coffin of the ailing British car industry.

 

post-17915-0-72645600-1537366276_thumb.jpg

 

Accordingly, when the AX was launched in mainland Europe later in 1986, it was wearing Citroen badges only.

 

With PSA's euthanasia of the Alpine and Solara that same year, soon the only way into a new Talbot was by stepping up into a van cabin.

 

So you could conceivably argue, while tootling around in your amazing roffletastic AX Elation, that you are in fact piloting the last-ever Talbot.

 

post-17915-0-51223100-1537367468_thumb.jpg

 

 

Did you also know?

 

There are still a fair few tickets left for this  - so if you've no luck in securing some for Cavcraft's rapidly-selling-out Pug 107 roffle, then why the merry hell aren't you buying some for this here yoke?

 

Okay, it's somewhat less yellow, but the wheeltrims are better.

 

[ducks]

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Has anyone ever clocked one of these?

 

post-17915-0-09920900-1537449783_thumb.jpg

 

It's the AX BB Cabrio, built (or indeed, slapped together with mastic) by Portuguese firm AG Engineering, to provide toupee-aerating fun for all the family. Based on the GTi, chances are that if you have seen one, it'll have been as a holiday hire car on the Algarve.

 

post-17915-0-22600700-1537450489_thumb.jpg

 

Rather like the Escort cabrio, this required a reworked rear deck to create a quasi-saloon effect.

 

But stay! It's not the only AX floppytop. Dutch concern EBS produced a rival AX convertible, with a different rear end treatment and the addition of a rollover bar, plus it was produced from more lowly spec'd variants.

 

post-17915-0-84338300-1537450761_thumb.jpg

 

post-17915-0-05499300-1537450960_thumb.jpg

 

Not to be outdone, French outfit Aixam Mega went one further with their AX-based Club, adding a GRP tub to end up with one of those 'fun' beach-type cars akin to the Renault J4 or Fiat 500 Jolly.

 

post-17915-0-21039500-1537450028_thumb.jpg

 

post-17915-0-11820100-1537451640_thumb.jpg

 

Yeah. Hmmm. It puts me in mind of a plastic coal hopper that's mated with a Silver Cross pram, rather.

 

A few other companies have tried their luck at taking a hacksaw to Citroen's baby hatch, but perhaps the ultimate AX cabrio remains the Xanthia concept roadster of 1986...

 

post-17915-0-04772000-1537451083_thumb.jpg

 

All well and good, for sure, but I think I'd rather have a tintop as winter draws in...

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Im too lazy and on a steam powered PC to go back through the thread - but how much / ticket dear chap?

 

Tickets are currently retailing at £11 each, or £20 for a pair, my fine fellow!

 

Vital stats are:

  • 1995 Citroen AX 1.0 Elation
  • 60k-ish from new
  • MOT to end April 2019
  • Currently SORN
  • Pretty clean all round and running well, with a few cosmetic issues
  • Comes with spares, service items and a half-tank of fuel
  • Located in Yeovil, Somerset
  • £675 sale price, or a roffletastic £11 a ticket/£20 for two

post-17915-0-71302700-1537456594_thumb.jpg

 

post-17915-0-56243300-1537456612_thumb.jpg

 

I've made no secret of my longstanding lust for these little rollerskates, and even though I have no need of such a thing I'd really like to own one, before prices make it unaffordable... I'm kinda surprised that this one hasn't taken off yet!

 

Maybe the Cavcraft 107 rofflefrenzy has made folks realise just how much they need a small PSA hatch in their lives, and we might be about to hit the nitrous button...

 

 

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Love those convertibles! Saw a clb version last year in France, had to have a chat with the owner of course which was a challenge in itself due to lacking linguitic skills! But we eventually communicated that it was an AX base and that I liked it!

 

Now for a few little exquisite* AX qualities that you may or may not be aware of.

 

1. They are actually quite comfortable, squishy french suspension and suprpisingly nice seats = this.

 

2. Although the bodywork is as thick as tesco's finest tin foil, it doesn't feel as tinny as expected, anyway less metal = less weight, which = better economy and better POWAH to weight ratio!

 

3. TU9 1.0 50bhp throaty rorty noise, meaning you can rev the nuts off it with a big grin on your face, but are in no risk of losing your licence, speeding or generally moving anywhere at all.

 

4. Smollness = easy parking but not really, as no power steering. Good for upper body strength though - don't go to the gym - just park an AX!

 

5. This one has an immobiliser, so less worries of it being pinched - 1.0 ecoboxes are renowned for their joy ride allure as we all know.

 

6. Fucking ace wheel trims!

 

I think that pretty much sums it up, purchase a ticket or several so that you can enjoy all of the above super features!

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What's that?

 

You want more AX Phabulous Phacts before you'll buy a ticket or two?

 

My word, you're a hard crowd to please.

 

Okay then, how about.... this!

 

post-17915-0-07152100-1537887916_thumb.jpg

 

Now then, the compact three-box saloon wasn't really a common style on French vehicles - the deceased Citroen Ami and Peugeot 204 sedans were maybe a little bigger anyway, and isn't France kind of the spiritual home of le hatch? Why on earth would Heuliez bother with this styling exercise?

 

Well, the AX was planned in two different body styles - the three-door hatch, which was to replace both the Talbot Samba and the Citroen LNA, and the five-door hatch, which was to replace the Visa (although they did keep it running for a few more years as a cheapo model in the range, before letting it run for another decade and a half as a commercial).

 

But rivals Opel offered their new Spanish-built Corsa A in both 3-door hatchback and 2-door saloon variants, with rear-door versions yet to appear for both, since the Spanish (and the Irish, amongst others) still retained the attitude that a saloon car was somehow superior to a mere hatchback - hence the existence of the Renault 7.

 

Volkswagen's new Polo Mk2 was available as a three-door coupe and three-door 'breadvan' estate/hatch; but also as a two-door saloon, as the Derby.

 

So if Citroen's new supermini was to maximise its sales across Europe, then failing to offer a saloon version could be detrimental in some markets. Enter Heuliez.

 

After a bit of humming and hawing, no doubt, for reasons of its own PSA decided not to bother developing the arsewart version of the AX, binning it alongside the AX Évasion mini-MPV. The die had been cast that, once the CX had shuffled off its mortal coil, Citroen would focus on hatchbacks and estates throughout the 1980s.

 

Which didn't bode well for another Heuliez prototype in the works...

 

post-17915-0-35254600-1537889070_thumb.jpg

 

 

Anyone else for some tickets, then? £11 each, two for £20!

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Unashamed payday weekend bump! C'mon fellas put some of that hard* earnded moolah down for a ticket or two for this fine french filly!

 

I'm thinking I am going to have to put it on the dreaded ebay/gumtree etc in the week, need the dosh from it to pay for the house survey that's taking up credit card space...

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Developments possible afoot, I have procurred devices with the intention of fixing the rear light issue, and have also procured LESS WANKY wheel trims! Yes folks, I have found some decent condition proper AX trims so can lovingly preserve the current universal/aftermarket cunty ones off the car for the benefit* of the new owner. They've not yet arrived, so watch this space - or better yet, get your tickets in anticipation of the big wheel trim reveal!

 

8vXyVzsh.jpg

 

and

 

ReQZnC4h.jpg

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Much beer drunk, now in roffle mode 2 randoms please

 

Bingo bango. The beer speaks much sense.

 

You are now a member of a most discerning and exclusive group of people - those who are in with a shout to drive off into the sunset in this ver' nice-looking baby Citroen.

 

More power to your (drinking) elbow!

 

1.

2. keith777

3.

4. Andy F

5.

6.

7. sickboy

8.

9. retropnaed

10. binhoker668

11.

12.

13. Alanism

14.

15.

16.

17. Datsuncog

18.

19.

20. prepace

21. yes ou si

22.

23.

24.

25.

26.

27.

28.

29.

30.

31.

32.

33. keith777

34.

35.

36. Andy F

37.

38. binhoker668

39.

40.

41.

42.

43.

44.

45. Alanism

46.

47. retropnaed

48.

49.

50.

51. yes ou si

52.

53.

54. pandamonium

55.

56.

57. prepace

58.

59.

 

Let's keep going, peoples!

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I know you were all on such tenderhooks awaiting the big wheel trim reveal, which incidentally would have been this very evening . BUT I have taken a deposit for the AX on the eve itself of such an event, a little anticlimactic perhaps but I'm happy with the new owners, a (very) young couple who seem enamoured with it and who apparently appreciate smoll 90's french hatchbacks.

 

I would like to thank everyone who did, for buying a ticket and a massive especial thanks to Datsuncog for outstanding effort to the cause of educating us all on the many* attractive aspects of the Citroen AX, and equally, if not better, outstanding Roffling managment. I've not forgotten your prize sir, and will begin it's construction this weekend! If you could PM me your address.

 

2jwwae.jpg

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Congrats on the pending sale, hope all goes smoothly with this little honey's new owners!

 

It's the Autoshite way that it might have been significantly easier to shift this little Cit had it boasted lots o' scab, a differently coloured door and the seeming imprint of an elephant's arse on the roof - but then, roffles were conceived as a low-risk way to punt on cheap vehicles that no-one outside this group could ever consider desirable, with a hefty dose of terror, schadenfreude and masochism thrown into the mix.

 

Looks like this one was just too good to inspire the requisite amount of clammy fear and bloody-minded self-flagellation... pity, as I rrreally would like to give one of these a go someday. For the condition, I certainly felt this was a fair price.

 

A swift recalculation indicates that the R-value stalled at 1239 after keith777's tickets, so we were a touch short of the magic* 1000 value.

 

post-17915-0-62088800-1539352014_thumb.png

 

Ah now.

 

But! There's a few other roffles a-rolling at present for those who want to shovel their hard-earned into enabling fellow members' chod addictions, so all the very best of luck if you're on the roffleboard elsewhere.

 

I quite enjoyed researching the AX phacts and phigures, so it was no hardship, I assure you.

 

Thanks for all the effusive praise - onwards!

 

*Completely arbitrary

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Onwards indeed! The AX did as such today, with much gusto I might add. I shall miss it so.

 

Never mind, tokens have been palmed and so more resources are now available for my other automobiles. Next on the list for attention is the Ovlov 740 Hearse, yes an actual hearse. We have plans of turning it into a motorhome type vehicle capable of munching miles over there, on the continent - mostly France. It shall be comfortable, pleasant to drive, nice to sleep and to be in generally. Shit, that's a lot of work!

 

I have planned to do a blog for a while now, so I may just get around to it...

 

Thanks all.

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Yeah, I'd wondered what the story was with the Volvo hearse in the background... now that sounds rather interesting indeed!

 

Please do keep us updated!

 

Oh, and I totally appreciate the very kind offer of a Special Mystery Gift - but I didn't manage to successfully roffle it!

 

 

post-17915-0-97691500-1539702454_thumb.jpg

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