Datsuncog's Heaps: Sept 2023 - Another Year's T-Met Exemption Certificate...

[Datsuncog]

On 5/8/2018 at 9:58 PM, Split_Pin said:

I don't normally have the patience to read things properly these days, whether it be instructions or articles, but your posts always draw me in and I enjoy reading them from start to finish.

Hopefully you will be equally drawn to the Forester with its wuffly exhaust note. It always takes me ages to bond with a car especially if its predecessor had a very different character.

Cheers man!

Hopefully what I so utterly lack in technical nous I can compensate for with waffle. After all... there's plenty of threads elsewhere with serious mechanicking skills front and centre, so even if pretty much everything I write boils down to Much Ado About Nothing, maybe there's a place for that too. I mean, it seems a few folks like to visit in the dead of night, so just possibly it's a handy tonic for getting back to sleep...

Thinking about it, this entire thread (28 pages so far) boils down to:

• Shit £300 Renner breaks down;
• Gets fixed, but still isn't right;
• Gets MOT pass, rather surprisingly;
• Some more little bits break; some get fixed, some don't;
• A big bit breaks;
• Goodnight Vienna;
• Surprisingly out-of-character replacement procured.

Hmm. It ain't exactly Thomas Hardy; but I don't really know how it reads, objectively.

Well, as one of my writing tutors advised, the one cardinal rule is "never waste your readers' time". I s'pose as long as this thread continues to entertain, I'll continue to here inscribe my motoring non-adventures...

And yeah, wuffly's the right word for the Subaru... it is growing on me, rather. I wasn't sure how to feel after the Laguna meltdown, but going completely in the opposite direction seems to be working ok so far. Once the springs are done and it stops dragging its arse on the ground, I might like it even more...

[Tadhg Tiogar]

.....for a few years I felt like a bloody magnet for weird stuff. ....

 

....because two Lagunas.

[Datsuncog]

On 5/9/2018 at 5:09 PM, Tadhg Tiogar said:

....because two Lagunas.

^^^ Funny thing, that was all happening while I was still running Fords and Vauxhalls. Maybe it was the crankcase fumes.

Weird trip, man.

[Faker]

1/ I have friends in gleno!!

 

2/ Mrs D.C. is my hero!!

 

3/ Mrs D.C. is my hero!!

[Datsuncog]

I find a horse meets the description admirably.

Shush!! She's currently watching this year's Badminton cross-country on BBC iPlayer, and you'll be giving her ideas...

[Guest Hooli]

No road tax on a 'orse despite all the emissions they leave everywhere.

[Datsuncog]

^^^ GR8 4 ROOBARB M8

[Datsuncog]

So the games commence...

 

Hmmm... not that many E110 Corollas up for grabs locally this week.

I'm told that faded red is the preferred shade. I'm not sure why, and I don't like to ask.

This one's purple, not far away, and delightfully out of focus, with one family owner from new and also the original frog-face style:

https://www.gumtree.com/p/toyota/toyota-corolla/1297767422

 

This one's a becoming a finely matured shade of Pogweasel pink with about ten minutes' MOT, but is suitably cheap (albeit a facelift version):

https://www.gumtree.com/p/toyota/toyota-corolla/1297767422

 

This one's silver with a full MOT, and a 1.6 twincam jobber, but looks like it's been routinely thrashed with a stick and is located in the arse-end of nowhere:

 

And this one's a diesel facelift model with comedy rims that are fooling no-one:

https://www.gumtree.com/p/toyota/toytota-corolla-5-door-hatchback-full-test/1295192806

Mmmm. Okay. I shall lay these before Mrs DC later this evening, lulled by the soft candlelight and fine damask table-linen in the IKEA restaurant.

We shall see what transpires.

[They_all_do_that_sir]

Ideally needs to be pre facelift for full points I would have said.

 

I had a black one with the 1.3. Unburstable, survived a spell with the mother in law who tends to be a car killer

 

Sent from my F3211 using Tapatalk

[Dave_Q]

Purple FTW.

[Datsuncog]

Quite rightly, I've been informed that facelift models are unacceptable... but that purple is most acceptable.

Quote: "You're causing me temptation here..."

Conversation has now moved on to tax and insurance practicalities...

[Faker]

So the games commence...

 

 

Hmmm... not that many E110 Corollas up for grabs locally this week.

 

I'm told that faded red is the preferred shade. I'm not sure why, and I don't like to ask.

 

 

This one's purple, not far away, and delightfully out of focus, with one family owner from new and also the original frog-face style:

 

Toyota Corolla 1.4 purple.jpg

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/toyota/toyota-corolla/1297767422

 

This one's a becoming a finely matured shade of Pogweasel pink with about ten minutes' MOT, but is suitably cheap (albeit a facelift version):

 

Toyota Corolla 1.4.jpg

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/toyota/toyota-corolla/1297767422

 

This one's silver with a full MOT, and a 1.6 twincam jobber, but looks like it's been routinely thrashed with a stick and is located in the arse-end of nowhere:

 

Toyota Corolla 1.6.jpg

 

And this one's a diesel with comedy rims that are fooling no-one:

 

Toyota Corolla 1.9D.jpg

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/toyota/toytota-corolla-5-door-hatchback-full-test/1295192806

 

Mmmm. Okay. I shall lay these before Mrs DC later this evening, lulled by the soft candlelight and fine damask table-linen in the IKEA restaurant.

 

We shall see what transpires.

Mr D.C. ... you do realise that no matter what steps you take to provide Mrs D.C. with a corolla (which are fabulous shitter fodder), she will no doubt be ousting you from the sube!!!! Given her lust for driving!!

[GrumpiusMaximus]

The first one.  The purple.  That is the true Corolla!

 

Had a client with one of those a couple of years back.  I'm amazed he hadn't killed it given the way he drove.

[Sir Snipes]

Bump for a real Corolla;

 

https://m.ebay.co.uk/itm/Toyota-Corolla-executive-1-6-petrol-full-service-history-1-owner-from-New/192526344456

[Datsuncog]

On 5/10/2018 at 11:00 PM, Faker said:

Mr D.C. ... you do realise that no matter what steps you take to provide Mrs D.C. with a corolla (which are fabulous shitter fodder), she will no doubt be ousting you from the sube!!!! Given her lust for driving!!

Well, the funny thing is that I'd thought, and indeed even expected, that she would want to start using the Forester for work - after all, I walk to the station in the morning so it's otherwise just sitting on the drive - but she said that she doesn't want to increase her fuel costs so would stick to the Yaris...

Then all this murky stuff came out, about still craving a Corolla E110.

 

It's a bit scary that she was only 9 when this generation of 'Rolla was unveiled, but for some reason she really took a shine to them and considered them an incredibly practical car... and so she wanted one. A lot.

She also really, really wanted a petrol generator. Somehow, she felt that ownership of a Toyota Corolla and a generator would have her pretty much set for life.

Maybe a humdrum Japanese hatchback and a Honda genny aren't what most ten-year-old girls would have on their wishlist to Santa, but hey - I suppose that being with me should be signal enough that she has her own views about less common choices. So I can't fault her on that.

So yes... wanting a Forester came later (again, practicality in the form of squareness, go-anywhere ability and bombproof mechanicals) and it seems that acquiring one of those has reopened the Corolla lust.

Since she's only ever owned two Mk1 Yarises since passing her driving test (the first a totally boggo fleet-spec secondhand one, followed by a brand new runout model), she's now wondering whether she's maybe missing out on motoring experience and - since she has savings and doesn't fritter her wages away on vinyl, model cars and wanky craft beers with twigs in them, like I do - is maybe in a position to buy and run cars from her childhood just for the hell of it...

Well, we'll see - insurance quotes for a 'second car' are, rather dispiritingly, coming in around the £500 mark, which seems like a fair whack... whereas putting the Yaris on SORN and then insuring the Corolla as a 'first car' would come in at around £250.

She does like the purple Corolla a lot though.

If anyone has any bright ideas for how to run two cars simultaneously without having to pawn major organs - certain multicar policies mebbe? - I'm all ears. Though a lot of insurers are still chary about Northern Ireland drivers, even now - think it's something to do with uncapped injury claims permitted over here.

[Datsuncog]

On 5/11/2018 at 7:09 AM, GrumpiusMaximus said:

The first one.  The purple.  That is the true Corolla!

Had a client with one of those a couple of years back.  I'm amazed he hadn't killed it given the way he drove.

They do seem to be unusually durable, don't they? In fact, most late 90s Toyotas seem to occupy that sweet spot of mechanically indestructible with reasonable protection from corrosion (compared to the contemporary Ford and Vauxhall models of the era)... there are still tons of Mk1 Yarises around too, also plenty of early Avensis models still doing the rounds - many more than, say, Mk2 Mondeos and Corsa Bs.

In fact, had the Forester not popped up locally at a reasonable price, a Mk1 Avensis was going to be the focus of my search for a KAZ 'n' TAZ replacement...

[Datsuncog]

On 5/11/2018 at 10:23 AM, Rusty Sills said:

Bump for a real Corolla;

s-l400.jpg

https://m.ebay.co.uk/itm/Toyota-Corolla-executive-1-6-petrol-full-service-history-1-owner-from-New/192526344456

Now that is quite nice... I only know of one E100 liftback still doing the rounds locally (metallic grey and giffer-owned, natch), but I do like them.

Sadly, for Mrs DC it's a pre-facelift E110 or bust... in purple or red, or possibly that metallic turquoise-green at a push.

Also, reading the lack of detail and fairly strong money asked in that ad, I find myself wondering if it isn't a £200 deceased-estate car being flipped for £1500... hey, everyone's gotta make a living I guess, but I'd only fork out that sort of cash for something I really wanted!

[Datsuncog]

As an aside from the putative Corolla larks, we headed out last night in L'il Thunder for some DIY procurement - Screwfix, IKEA and B&Q were on the hitlist.

Over to Abbeycentre; whurble snort roar all the way. I'm not sure how much of the racket is just the flat-four doing its thing, and how much is the cracked rear silencer. Probably a bit of both. Still, a nice dry evening for it anyway.

Stumping back across the carpark outside Screwfix, laden with doorhandles and hinges, I found myself coming over a bit Clint Eastwood again.

What the...

Yeah, why's there fluid drip-dripping from under my car?

Shit shit shit.

Flinging the handles in the back, I drop to one knee down by the front o/s wheelarch, as that is where two small puddles have formed on the tarmac, fore and aft of the wheel, and all in the four minutes it's taken me to grab my click-and-collect order and skedaddle.

Using my phone as a torch, I can see there's some sort of liquid all over the inside of the arch, seemingly coming from up by the top shock mounting.

Shit shit shit.

I run round to the other side - nothing to see there. It's just this side.

That very, very familiar sinking feeling wobbles through me. Surely this boyo can't be fucked already? After two bastarding weeks? How much is this going to knock me back?

Groaning, I pop the bonnet. The last time I saw this exact thing, it was the Poor Old Escort blowing out its PAS fluid on a soujourn to the Dordogne, which guiltily seeped through the arch liner.

(As an aside, I'm still not sure what the French for 'PAS fluid' is, but it certainly wasn't the phrase I cobbled together from my Collins Robert dictionary - which, on reflection, must have translated out to the bemused Gallic Halfords-equivalent chappie as 'all-powerful directional water', or something equally cryptic. Had we spent less time on Sartre and Camus at A-level and more time on car mechanics, I think we'd all have learnt a lot more.)

But the engine bay's clean as a whistle. I check the various fluid bottles and pipes (and boy, there's a lot - separate brake and clutch fluid reservoirs, for one) but can't see or feel anything wet or sticky. And there's nothing leaking from the bottom of the actual bay either - though I know the assorted trays can hold drips until they become cataclysmic. So all the trouble's in the o/s arch.

With a weary acceptance, I surmise that a shock must have started leaking rather spectacularly - which at least is less likely to kill us all. It's nearly 7.30 and we still haven't had any dinner, so rather than spend a frolicsome three hours in Screwfix's carpark awaiting my recently-found chum in the recovery wagon while having a lively discussion about my motoring choices, an executive decision is made to press on to IKEA and take it from there after a hearty repast.

Neither of us is at our best while hangry.

The four miles to IKEA is spent mentally noting every click, thump and whirr as potential catastrophe. The gearbox seems unusually notchy, and I wonder whether it's maybe lost all its oil - or even if Subaru uses some species of oil-filled driveshaft system that's now blown a seal, and will shortly cause a total drivetrain seizure while in the outside lane of the M2. Or maybe it's the clutch. Maybe the car is a total lash-up. My total ignorance of the workings of this vehicle suddenly terrifies me.

We wobble off at Holywood Exchange, which at least offers the convenience of coffee and toilets to FTP-prone idiots like myself. I come to a halt in the undercover section of IKEA's carpark and switch off, then steel myself to see just how bad it's become under the arch now.

Ah.

It's dry. Completely dry.

Nope, wait. There's a tiny droplet at the very top of the arch liner. I touch it, then rub my fingertips together. It's not oily. It's... water.

But it hasn't rained for days, so how the hell...

Oh right. Abbeycentre. I think back to Sunday, when my trip to Halfords at Abbeycentre involved fording a raging torrent* just after the Shore Road entrance. In fact, thinking about it, there's often water streaming across the road there, possibly caused by a bad water main or the dreadful drainage coming down off Carnmoney Hill or something. I hadn't noticed it so much tonight, but...

The water spills across the road just before the entrance to Screwfix.

In the name of the wee man... all that gut-knotting fear - over a spot of dampness on the road.

Never let it be said that I don't overdramatize things.

 

On the way home, the gearbox feels fine.

But! It's underlined that I really need to get to grips with this car and understand it. Flapping my hands and whining "I don't really do teh modernz" really isn't going to cut it anymore. It's not that modern, it's a fifteen year old car. It's the same flipping age as my Datsun Sunny when I bought it in 1999, rather terrifyingly.

It's the same age as a 1977 car would have been when Jalopy magazine hit the shelves in 1992. It is effectively a banger, even if it doesn't quite look like one.

This don't-do-teh-modernz attitude killed the Alfa 156 (well, partially - like TAZ, it was another car for whom living was pain and it yearned for a simpler, less complicated existence as an Alphabetti Spaghetti container). I really don't want ignorance and head-in-the-sand antics to put paid to this one, too. At least, not while I've £750 still to pay off on it.

I need to get L'il Thunder serviced as a matter of priority, and at least gain some hands-on experience of this model. I'd be a fool not to learn from TAZ that a ha'penn'orth of prevention is worth a pound of not standing by the motorway in the sleet while its glossy black lifeblood pools around my boots. Thinking mmm... that oil pipe doesn't look too clever, and then ignoring it for another six months, is a recipe for shite disaster.

Those that have ears, let them hear.

[Zelandeth]

If it makes you feel any better, I just about had a heart attack coming out of a shop (can't remember which one) in Aberdeen one day walking back to the Jag XJ6 I was borrowing from a friend, to find a reasonably sized puddle of water accumulating under it.  After spending about half an hour standing on my head and trying to figure out where in the blazes it was coming from I eventually figured it out.

 

It was only the fluffing condensate drain from the air conditioning...Never having had a car with (nor really spent much time around one with) air con, it never occurred to me.  Especially as there was no button for it in the Jag, just an "econ" setting to turn it off!

 

I felt distinctly stupid at that point and beat a hasty (not inconspicuous...That car didn't do inconspicuous thanks to the exhaust) retreat, hoping nobody had noticed my stupidity.

[Sir Snipes]

I think you've missed the most important point to all this and that is

"Has Mrs DC got a sister?"

[Guest Hooli]

I think you've missed the most important point to all this and that is

"Has Mrs DC got a sister?"

 

I believe that was answered earlier in the negatory, she only has a brother.

[Datsuncog]

^^^ That is quite correct: see upthread for details.

http://autoshite.com/topic/30085-datsuncogs-heaps-110518-lil-thunder-ignorance-aint-bliss/?p=1499771

Although she does have a close friend who's just announced that she simply must have a Land Rover Defender, for reasons unknown...

Mind you, she's already married to a well-known Cortina-fondler of this parish, so that's not gonna fly either...

 

Do we need to develop our own AS Dating Service?

Plenty Of Rust?

OKQuartic?

AngleGrindr?

 

It's a long shot, admittedly, but I daresay there's other niche dating sites out there...

[Datsuncog]

On 5/11/2018 at 1:17 PM, Zelandeth said:

If it makes you feel any better [...] I felt distinctly stupid at that point and beat a hasty (not inconspicuous...That car didn't do inconspicuous thanks to the exhaust) retreat, hoping nobody had noticed my stupidity.

Heh, that actually does make me feel slightly like less of a plum! Not because your concern wasn't utterly valid; just that I'm not the only one to panic at unexpected moisture under a vehicle.

I'm so, so glad I didn't end up summoning the RAC because I drove my turbocharged 4x4 through a 2mm deep puddle and it got ever so slightly wet.

You can be sure it would have ended up in Auto Express/Buzzfeed as part of some sort of 'humorous' article on 'Top Ten Dumbest Drivers To Call Out An RAC Patrol'.

I think that the shame might have utterly broken me, even more so than if I'd seized the entire block while in the fast lane...

[Datsuncog]

On 5/9/2018 at 12:46 PM, Datsuncog said:

Forester Rear Springs - CP4L ordered.png

So yeah... payment made, confirmation email received... I've a sinking feeling that I may end up in online shopping hell with this one, but it's not a time-critical repair (yet) so we'll see.

UPDATE: notification received from the shipping company that my springs have been registered on the system, and are now en route to their Belfast depot. Well how about that.

[SierraMikeHotel]

 

 

They do seem to be unusually durable, don't they? In fact, most late 90s Toyotas seem to occupy that sweet spot of mechanically indestructible with reasonable protection from corrosion (compared to the contemporary Ford and Vauxhall models of the era)... there are still tons of Mk1 Yarises around too...

This made me wince. My sister used to have a lovely Y reg Yaris which just seemed to go on despite her regime of neglect. When it finally went the way of all things she replaced it with a small boxy Vauxhall (Agila or Meriva, can't remember which) and is always surprised by its demands for servicing and repairs.

 

She's had some dreadful cars, not through Autoshite choice but just by buying the first car that she found within budget.

[Guest Hooli]

 

You can be sure it would have ended up in Auto Express/Buzzfeed as part of some sort of 'humorous' article on 'Top Ten Dumbest Drivers To Call Out An RAC Patrol'.

 

Or even the 'stories of a breakdown man' (I think that's the title) thread on here to really close the circle.

[Dirk Diggler]

G6 Corolla with a spares car in your neck of the woods; these are really a lovely little thing

 

https://www.donedeal.ie/cars-for-sale/toyota-corolla-1-3-g6-x2/18612949

[Datsuncog]

^^^ That is jolly nice - and would certainly be my choice of Corolla.

Unfortunately we've kind of got stuck on insurance here - no matter how we tweak it, a quote of under £500 isn't forthcoming. Which is a fair whack for a car we don't actually need, and in addition to the ones we do need.

I'd imagine that someone in the same age bracket crashed her 1.3 Corolla in our postcode lately, and now Mrs DC is suddenly classed OMG-MEGA-HI-RISK.

[grumpy] Really wishing we had the Australian system of buying tax and third-party insurance together at a flat-rate, rather than the actuarial woo and flim-flam that is the UK insurance system. Looks like no Rockin' Rolla for us. Grr. [/grumpy]

[Dirk Diggler]

Have you got an Irish address you could use?

 

ETA I could insure that Corolla for 230 yo-yos if it's 20, 5000 mile limit

[They_all_do_that_sir]

Insurance and tax almost kills the whole third car thing doesn't it?

 

You have two options really

 

1) buy "proper" classic, old enough for free tax and proper classic insurance but mahoosive purchase price

 

2) buy an almost classic for cheaps but pay through the nose for tax and insurance

 

Number 2 isn't necessarily a bad scenario as it exists as a sort of check to stop me buying loads and loads of shite

 

Sent from my F3211 using Tapatalk